My First Kiss
by AliceCullen117
Summary: Everything is perfect. I love my job, I love my brothers and my friends, I have the most beautiful son in the world. I have everything I could ever want. So, where does a boyfriend fit into all that? Oh, right...he doesn't.
1. The Engagement Party

Okay, hold on. This is just an idea that I had that I really just needed to put down on paper. I'm not sure at all where it will take me because this is absoluely not my style, it's very unorigninal for me. However, I really enjoyed writting it so I hope everyone will enjoy reading it. And I don't own any of the characters, they're all S. Meyer's beautiful workings (As much as I wish I owned Jasper) and I would never dream of changing them like I did in this, I'm already a huuuge twilight fan as is. And since this is my first time doing this, I'm up for anything so if anyone had ideas or something they think would be good, just inbox me and I'll think it over. Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. :)

Ps. They're all human. I know, it's weird trying to picture that.

~Selene

* * *

"Mommy!"

I sat up, rolling over and brushing the mess of short black tresses from my face to find my five-year-old son in the doorway. Jackson tapped his wrist, even though there wasn't a watch there I understood what he was saying. We were gonna be late if I slept in any longer.

Kicking out of the sheets, I slipped off my twin bed and into my slippers. How could I be late for my own party? Oh, yes, that's right, staying up until 4:00am making sure all the preparations were absolutely flawless.

"Jackie baby, go get dressed and I'll make us some breakfast for dinner, how does that sound?" I grinned, watching as he ran down the hall. I raced into the bathroom, showering up quickly, then crossing the hall into the guest room I had renovated into my closet. I snatched a slinky silk red dress and these adorable Gucci pumps that I absolutely loved.

I set the outfit in the bedroom, skipping down the long hallway and down the winding stairs to the kitchen. Our apartment was the only two-story in the entire building, I got it because I pretty much perfected the label Victoria's Secret. I have a lot of friends in very high places. Well, that and I flirted with the landlord's cute son.

Jackson bounded down the stairs, weaving by me to the fridge, grabbing the orange juice and the basket of strawberries we'd bought yesterday. He sat at the table and I got him his cup. I say _his_, because it is the only Batman glass in my all of my cupboards.

Jackson and I ate dinner quickly, I listened to him go on about a girl named Valeria at school who said he had cooties. I love my son, truly I do, there isn't another person on this planet I could possibly care about more. Not even Christian Dior – and I absolutely idolize that man!

Jackie had ink black hair like mine, along with my endless amount of energy. Even Rosalie and Bella said he acted just like me. Of course, I suppose there isn't a male figure in his life for him to look up to, outside of my brothers Edward and Emmett. Then again, Emmett is vulgar and reckless and Edward is far too uptight for his own good. It really is no wonder he's so much like me.

His eyes though, killed me every time he looked up at me. There was a hint of his Father there that made me want to punch something. I'd been engaged to Tristan Michaels for a year when I got pregnant. We'd dated since ninth grade and I thought he was perfect, he was my fairytale prince.

I left him the first time he laid a hand on Jackson when he was three. Luckily, Jackie couldn't remember the incident, but I did. And I would have to look at Tristan's emerald eyes on my beautiful son's face forever now.

Once the kitchen was clean and I gave Jackson his cootie shot, I ushered him upstairs to pick out an outfit. It was an important night to me, after all, I'd been planning Rosalie and Emmett's engagement party for the past several months.

Jackson donned a pair of black slacks that would look perfect with my black nylons. I didn't want him to be all pent up in some gaudy dress shirt though, so I settled for a designer scarlet polo shirt that would match my gown.

Once he was all set I sent him downstairs to watch Teletoon while I got ready. This process didn't take long, I knew exactly how I wanted to look for this night. I slipped into my dress, and heels swiping on a dark shade of shiny red lip gloss, before ravaging my hair into it's disarrayed glory.

Jackson and I set out around 5:30ish, Rose wanted the party to start not a second later than 4:30pm which meant we would arrive late, but fashionably so. Rosalie's house was one you could not miss even if you wanted to. For modest little Forks, Rosalie's classic white mansion was beyond pretentious.

Cars were parked all down the lengthy driveway, Jackson and I joining the line up in my new yellow Porsche. I really, really like my pay check. I hoisted him onto my hip, pacing up the driveway passed Edwards silver Volvo and Emmet's red beast of a Jeep. I knew everyone that was here – I invited them – but who had the black Mercedes?

Knocking on the door once I entered, setting Jackson down and watching him sprint off in search of snacks. Emmett got to me first, picking me up off the floor and hugging me, making ugly wrinkles in my dress all at once.

I tried not to be as agitated about it as I was, I mean, this was a three hundred dollar Marc Jacob's! The annoyance faded a little when I realized he was wearing the suit I'd bought him. He probably only did it to please Rosalie. That girl was scary when she was in a good mood but terrifying when she was angry.

"Hey there tiny!" Emmett smiled widely, that famous smile that won the heart of just about every football scout alive. I returned the smile, pawing my dress back into flawlessness.

"Oh stop it Alice, you know you look gorgeous." Bella's voice made me look up, she came in to hug me gently. I kissed her on both cheeks, jerking her back to arm's length. Thank God I made that appointment at the salon in Port Angeles for Bella today, who knows what she would have done with herself!

Bella wore an ice blue below-the-knee strapless dress and a sheer shawl over her shoulders. Her long brown hair was pinned up beautifully to show off the long, slender neck she didn't believe she had. What would this girl do without me?

Edward came quietly up behind her, grinning at me down at me over Bella's head. "Where's my nephew?" He asked in his usual soft voice, his arm snaking around Bella's waist as he spoke, the gesture earned him a bright blush.

"He went on a mission to find finger sandwiches." I winked, glancing around in search of the girl of the hour. "Where's Rose?"

Edward gazed to Emmett who shrugged, and I remembered how useless my brothers were. "Bella?" I lifted an eyebrow at the sheepish girl before me. Bella's face went red as she bit her lip. "Isabella Swan!" I growled in the voice I used when Jackson ran around the house in my delicates.

Bella burst, first into tears then into wicked sobs. "We were in a hurry and I accidentally pulled the zipper up too hard on her dress!" She howled, "I didn't mean to rip it! Oh Alice, I'm so sorry! Rosalie won't even come out of the bedroom, I've tried everything!"

I touched her cheek and shook my head. "Silly Bella, it's nothing an artist can't fix." Actually I was outraged. I should have thought through sending Bella to help Rose get ready a little more thoroughly. I mean, I did give her specific instructions on how to do everything – but still!

"Edward, Emmett." I pointed at them both, watching the panic jump on their faces. "Go find Jackson, make sure he isn't getting into anything he shouldn't be." I waved them off before they could protest and then grabbed Bella's hand. "I need you to help me with Rosalie."

Bella looked horrified at that, but I hauled her through the endless crowd of party-goers, stopping occasionally to make polite conversation and accept the frequent compliment. Once we reached the stairs I ran up as fast as I could in heels until I reached Rosalie's bedroom.

"Rose?" I murmured gently prattling my fingernails on the white painted door, biting my lip and waiting for her answer. There was a sharp sob and I could have sworn I heard Bella whimper behind me.

"Go away!"

I sighed, "Sweetie, who else is going to fix your dress?" When I tried the doorknob I found it to be locked. Rolling my eyes I turned around to gently take a pin from Bella's hair and kneeled to slide it into the lock. It clicked a few seconds later and Bella gasped, "How did you do that?"

Returning her hair pin I shrugged, "I was quite the delinquent in high school Bells, don't you remember?" I pushed the door open to find Rosalie a mess on the floor.

It hurt me deeply to find such a beautiful fabric all mangled on the hardwood like that. But it caused me serious pain to see glorious, glamorous Rosalie curled inside of it in even worse condition.

"Get the hell out of here Bella, you ruined _everything_!" Rosalie hissed and I had to snatch Bella's arm to keep her in the room. I coaxed Rose off the floor long enough to assess the damage, it really wasn't that bad, just a seam tear. Of course, this was still any designer's nightmare, but it wasn't something that _I_ couldn't fix.

I got Rosalie to sit on the bed while I rummaged through her closet. I left my sewing kit out in the car, if I left Rosalie would barricade the door the second time I tried to get in.

Rose had a very specific taste in clothing. It bordered the lines of seduction, luxury and elegance – very Valentino as I would say. I plucked out a sexy Versace pearl white-gold coloured cocktail dress. This paired with Rosalie's blue eyes and that gorgeous sapphire necklace I bought her in Italy, she would look tiptop in no time.

When I was finished with Rosalie, Bella was hailing me the Queen of all that is Stylish and Beautiful. Rose snorted and stomped from the room in the sleek black gladiators I picked out. She was back to the gorgeous, flamboyant, egotistical goddess I knew and loved.

Bella and I trailed along behind Rosalie, not wanting to get in her way now that she was back to her faultless self. She went immediately into Emmett's arms, who mouthed "thank you," to me before being lead into the dance floor.

When I turned to Bella I found her dumbstruck by the pianist, who happened to be my brother, on the stage I had installed. I smiled at her, closing her mouth with my index finger.

"You should go up there and sit on the bench with him, that would make Edward so nervous." I nudged Bella's elbow, not surprised to see her marching towards the stage moments later.

I frowned watching Rosalie and Emmett twirl together in their unusually graceful tangle. Emmett had two left feet. Thank God Edward and I had gotten Dad's dancing skills.

It wasn't that I was upset that my oldest brother was marrying one of my best friends. Actually, I kind of expected it, what with the way he always talked about her. And Bella and Edward had been attached at the hip since the day she moved here from Phoenix.

None of it bothered me. I just thought it was kinda funny how I'm the twenty-three-year-old single mom, and everybody around me seems to be in some kind of relationship. Even that Jessica girl Bella is friends with that I don't like, she and Mike Newton have been on and off since grade eleven.

And I'm not jealous, why should I be? I already have the most spectacular little boy in my life, I don't need some man to come in and ruin it. Besides, I'm twenty-three and according to Jackson I am the "amazingest" person ever, so why should I care? There's tons of time to find Mr. Alice Cullen.

Then I realized Jackson wasn't with Edward and Bella on stage and he certainly was not between the assortment of Rosalie and Emmett. Panic shot through me in a million different waves, tears instantly came to my eyes as I pushed through the crowds overflowing in Rosalie's mansion.

"Jackson!" I shouted, going through all thirteen rooms on the second floor before searching the ground level. Fanning my face I wove through the dance floor at least thirty times before deciding he wasn't lost in the hoard.

Sending Edward and Emmett to watch my son – what the hell was I thinking? I was determined not to cry or call the police until I was certain I'd checked every single damn nook and cranny in this massive house.

"Mom!"

I nearly had a heart attack, reeling around and darting for the doors just off the kitchen that lead into the sunroom. Jackson waved at me, sitting in a chair across the table from some guy.

Pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes, I swallowed every profanity that I'd ever heard in my life. "_Jackson Brandon Cullen_ where the hell have you been?" I hissed, crossing the dimly lit room to kneel and kiss every inch of his face. "Did you know I nearly called the SWAT team?"

Jackson laughed and I couldn't stay angry. The sheer relief of it all kind of diffused the situation, "I'm sorry Mommy." He blinked up at me with those big emerald eyes and I averted my gaze. "But I found the snacks!"

Mussing his hair I took a deep, soothing breath and murmured, "That's fantastic honey, but please don't you ever do that to me again." From my peripheral vision I saw him nod in agreement and I sighed.

"You must be Alice, Edward and Emmett's little sister." I was taken aback by this abrupt southern accent and stood up to face the guy that had been sitting with my son. I nodded, dumbfounded by the man before me, he chuckled extending a large hand. "I'm Jasper Whitlock, Rosalie's step-brother."


	2. Betrayal

Jasper Whitlock was taller than I would have preferred – then again, everyone was when you're me. He must be a smidge taller than Edward, he's certainly more muscular, yet nowhere near how brawny Emmett is. It's just that, the way he looked down at me made me feel like I was gradually turning to liquid. I was glad for the extra edge my heels gave me.

It was odd how much he reminded me of Rose. Last time I checked she didn't have a southern accent, especially not one that made my toes curl. And still it was the little things that told me they were related. His full lips, the way he tilted his head, the blond waves of his thick, flippy hair, the vibrant blue eyes.

Still, there was enough that you would know they weren't. His accent obviously separated them, but so did the square of his jaw and the near-invisible dimple in his chin, even the prominence of his cheekbones.

You learn to pick up every tiny detail when you work in the world of fashion.

Instantaneously I was struck by the urge to check my makeup, then I remembered all I was wearing was lip gloss and mascara. Why are my hands so clammy? God, I'm turning into Bella!

I had to remind myself that I wasn't like this. I'm Alice Cullen, you'd have to be some kind of glossy Greek god before you could even _think_ about holding my hand. This in mind, I shook off the haze of nerves and looked at him seriously.

"That would be me," I nodded, shaking his hand, stunned by the firm, callused grip that met me there. Um, hello, I'm like a flower – this isn't an arm wrestling match!

From the corner of my eye I caught movement. "And where do you think you're going?" I narrowed my eyes on the teeny, lithe figure attempting to sneak out on me. Jackson turned, unleashing the full force of his five-year-old cuteness on me.

"I'm going to see Bella – I promise I won't go far!" Jackson cried, pouting in the way I did when I really wanted something. Ugh, that boy could bring down an entire army with a single glace if he wished it.

Trying to remain the dignified parent I am, I nodded a fraction. "And you're going to stick to her like glue right?"

I cocked a brow at him and Jackson smiled my excited smile, "Like peanut butter to jelly!" He said over his shoulder before pulling the glass doors wide and striding inside.

Oh, no, now I'm alone with him. Great.

Turning on my heels I gazed back up at Jasper, who was grinning warmly at the glass doors Jackson had exited through. "You're Rosalie's brother," I mumbled, sitting down in the posh scoop chair Jackie had occupied. "I've never heard of you." I said this in the tone I used when speaking to the girls I worked with, who thought they knew more than me. Emmett calls it my _"Bitch, please!"_ voice.

Jasper's smile widened as he sat down across the elegant round table in his chair. "I'm not surprised," He drawled, making me melt a little. "Rosalie wasn't too happy when her Dad cheated on her Mother, then left her for mine."

I felt like I needed to be remorseful about this statement, but I was lost in the twang every word coming from his lips had. "That's so sad." I said it, but the words were anything but believable, "It's sweet of you to come to her engagement party though."

Jasper smiled, all toothy and sweet. It was there that I finally recognized Rosalie's father, he and Jasper shared the exact same crooked smile. "Her mother insisted that I come, she isn't quite as bitter as her daughter."

Instinct took over and I blurted, "Rose isn't bitter," before I could think the sentence through. Jasper's smile only got bigger, he didn't even look the slightest bit fazed. "I'm sorry," I whispered stupidly. "But she can't be _that_ bitter."

Jasper shook his head, wisps of his blonde hair tumbling into his face. "Would you honour me with a dance, Miss Cullen?" The question was abrupt and I lifted my chin at him, trying to be arrogant about it. That was really more Edward's thing.

Usually I turned down dance requests. Not because I couldn't dance – believe me, that was _not_ the case. It's just that I was usually asked by Eric Yorkie or that Tyler boy that almost ran Bella over in the parking lot in high school. I still hated him for that, after all, Bella could have been squashed! Thank God for Edward pulling her out of the way.

No one I had ever been remotely interested in had ever asked me to dance. Of course, I only ever dated Tristan in high school and I'd gone out with many men when I traveled, but it wasn't like this.

"I guess." I nodded, not looking at him when I responded. Jasper may look and sound like someone I would meet on a runway, but he was still just a guy.

He chuckled, standing to reach for my hand. I stared at his rough fingers a moment, they were nothing like the smooth, baby bottom soft Tristan's had been. Which made them seem safer to me for some reason. I took his hand, twining my fingers through his as we went back into the house.

Jasper and I made our way through the crowds, pausing only long enough for me to see Jackson on stage with Edward and Bella. The relief that washed over me when I saw him there made me feel foolish. I was in a constant state of paranoia when he wasn't in my line of sight.

Relaxed now, I let Jasper lead me into the swarm. Distantly, over the sound of what seem like hundreds of voices, I heard the boom of Emmett's laughter, followed by the silvery sound of Rosalie's. So they were still dancing, it made me indescribably happy to know that they were having a good time.

Dancing was something that had come easy to me for as long as I could remember. Unlike Emmett, I did it for the sheer joy it brought me, not to purposely make an idiot of myself.

Here, in the light, I was impressed by not only Jasper's sense of rhythm, but by the clothes he wore. I resisted the brief desire to check the tag of the blouse he was wearing.

It definitely could have passed for Lacoste designed by Christophe Lemaire himself with ease. The precision of the cuts and seams was flawless, not to mention the grey fabric yielded to every muscular contour on Jasper's body. His outfit was simple, but so elegant it passed for the Black Tie Event this was.

"I'm surprised," I smirked, pleased with the slow tempo of the song Edward had chosen. Jasper looked at me curiously, sending me away gently, to twist me back in. "You're keeping up, I didn't think you'd last so long." At this he laughed, shaking his head so his hair swayed around his face.

As the song came to a close, Jasper twirled me, his arm unexpectedly snapped back so I slammed right into his chest. His hand fit perfectly in the bend of my knee as he pinned my left leg to his hip. I'd attempted to swallow the gasp that had jumped up on me, but it evaded my control. Jasper smiled smoothly, "I may have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"There you are Alice I've been – oh!" Rosalie cut herself off. Only then, staring into the blue eyes of the step-brother she disliked, did I realize my dress had slipped back on my thigh to a very inappropriate length.

Emmett swore and Jasper released my leg, blinking I stepped out from the chains of his arms, turning to face my very displeased friend. "So you found him did you?" Rosalie hissed, "Should've locked him in the basement."

Emmett glared at her, "Don't do this." Was all he said, Rosalie's lip twitched. She gazed at me with a sharpness that clearly told me I'd wronged her by dancing with him.

Jasper was polite, "It's good to see you Rose, congratulations to you both." He smiled softly, gentlemanly. "Dad would be proud." I knew he'd crossed a line there. It was clear in his voice that he had no intention of hurting her feelings, but Rosalie's expression became dead hostile.

"Don't give me that Jasper, I'm not as _naive_ as Alice is." She snarled, blonde hair whipping around her shoulders as she shook her head. I grimaced, holding my tongue and looking to Emmett, but it was Jasper who jumped to my defence.

"She's done nothing wrong, Rosalie, _I_ asked _her_ to dance. This has nothing to do with Alice." His voice didn't change from the charmingly sweet southern drawl, but there was a steel enmity to his words that seemed to leave a stinging bite.

Rosalie looked mortified, then furious as her whole face burned crimson. She held her hands in fists at her sides and continued, "I want you to leave. _Now_."

Jasper just nodded, pivoting towards me to quietly take my hand, bring it to his level and kiss my knuckles. His mouth, unlike his hands, felt like silk on my skin and I could feel my cheeks heating. "It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Cullen." With that, he let go of my hand merging with the mob before he vanished completely.

I stared at my hand, still in the air above me and blushed even harder realizing how moronic I must look. Rose stormed by me, her shoulder colliding with mine hard enough to knock me back.

"Rosalie," I started, my voice as pained and frantic as I knew I appeared. She kept walking, raising her hand over her shoulder to silence me, Emmett growled something crude under his breath as he watched her leave.

"You okay?" He asked, touching my arm. Emmett looked genuinely concerned, my hulking big brother, it reminded me of being a kid. When I nodded he gave my shoulder a squeeze, "Just give her a minute to blow some steam, you know how Rose is."

Nodding again I pressed my lips together, unable to make my fingers stop tingling. "Thanks to you I'm definitely not going to get laid tonight." Emmett groaned and I scowled, jerking away from him.

Ugh, disgusting. Shaking my head I made way for the stage, Emmett following behind me. Rose was there and she did not so much as acknowledge my presence, Bella gave a fleeting glace to me, the worry on her face made me frown.

"Jackie baby," I called, watching as he spun on Edward's bench to troop over to where I stood. "We're gonna go home now okay, I'm not feeling so good."

Jackson's gleeful expression dissolved into one of hysteria and he slapped his palm on my forehead, checking me for a fever. "Don't worry mommy, I'll make you better." He promised, the determination crossing his green eyes making me look away.

He jumped from the stage and into my arms, wrapping his legs around my waist. "I'll see you guys later." I smiled cheerfully, peering over at Rosalie through a shield of my black hair. "You look beautiful, Rose."

She snorted, folding her arms over her chest. With a sigh I waved to Bella and Edward, murmuring goodbye to Emmett before wandering into the crowd.

"Did you have fun tonight?" I asked, burying my face in Jackson's hair while I spoke. He nodded into my shoulder and I grinned, "Me too."

Jackson slept on the way home and I carried him through the apartment lobby, up the elevator and to our room. Unlacing his shiny dress shoes, I set them in the cubby organizer in the corner of his room. He snored on the bed, rolling onto his stomach and sighing into his pillow, while I drew the duvet up over his tiny body.

Kissing his hair, then his forehead I flicked on his nightlight and closed his door. Once I was out of my dress clothes and into my pyjamas, curled in bed I realized just how wide awake I still was.

Jasper consumed my thoughts. The feel of his hands on my sides as we danced, how he smiled at me...how I never got his phone number! I swore, smacking myself with one of my pillows. Disappointment rippled through me and I slouched into the soft rosy pink of my bedding.

It hadn't been a good time to ask such a question with Rosalie there, but I wish he had at least asked for mine while we were dancing. Ugh, of course – I meet an absolutely stunning guy and I forget to ask him for his phone number! Good one Alice, real smooth.

I barely slept through the night, tossing and turning as I was. I kept waking up and laying there for an hour, before tumbling into another empty sleep. Before I knew it sunlight was pouring in through the windows along the side of the room. Ducking under the sheets I tried to clear my mind of all the night's events and get something of a solid sleep.

There was a knock at my door and I sat up lazily, rubbing at my eyes. "Hey sweetie, how come you're up so early?" I asked, glancing at the clock beside my bed, it was going on 6:00am.

Jackson blew out a shuddering breath and I woke up entirely, "What's wrong?" I asked, speedily rolling out of bed, brushing hair behind my ears as I came towards him.

Jackson's eyes were bloodshot, his face doused in tears. The horror of his expression broke my heart as I dropped to my knees and wrapped him up in my embrace. Jackson coiled his arms around me, sniffling when I said, "Another bad dream?"

Combing my fingers soothingly through his hair, he leaned away from me, wiping at his nose. "A-a-are you d-dying?" The seriousness of his question almost made me laugh, then I saw just how sincere he was about this and shook my head.

"Oh, God no baby, whatever made you think that?" Moving my hand from his hair I swept away his tears, narrowing my eyes at him. Jackson's plump, underdeveloped lips pressed together in a firm line, his eyes widening as another wave of tears walloped him.

"You-you-you said you were sick!" He moaned, practically diving onto me. Jackson's entire body rocked with heavy, howling sobs. Gathering him in my arms, I carried him back to my bed, crawling under the sheets and holding him tightly to my chest.

"Jackie, I just had a bad a headache, that's all. I'm okay." I rubbed circles into his back through his shirt, Jackson hiccupped against me. I rolled us so I was on my side and he lay on his back, touching his nose with my fingertip I whispered, "Look at me, Jackson, look at me. I'm not going anywhere, I promise I'll never _ever_ leave you."

He breathed in raggedly, struggling to blow it all out again. "You swear?" I'd never seen him so scared in my life, it terrified me.

Smiling I nodded, propping myself up on my elbow. "You're stuck with me kiddo." Jackson laughed softly, wiggling closer to nuzzle into my side. I brushed my fingers through his soft shaggy hair, over his small ear and back again until he was sound asleep.

Dropping down into my pillows, bringing the duvet up to his chin, I locked myself protectively around him and closed my eyes.

I dreamt about Jasper Whitlock.

Woken up by someone nudging my arm, I groaned into my pillow, closing my eyes tighter. The nudging continued. Bella jumped out of the way when I took a swipe at her, her clumsy feet slamming her back into my wooden dresser.

Bella was the only person with a key to my apartment, and at this particular moment I hated that fact. She smiled at me, wearing her casual sweats-and-a-hoodie that I loathed very, very much.

Patting around under the sheets, I searched for Jackson only to find that he was no longer there. I shot up in my bed, glancing at the clock on my nightstand. It was a little after noon.

"It's okay," Bella spoke cheerily, "He's downstairs watching TV." I exhaled a gust, falling back into bed and jerking the pink duvet over my head. Bella giggled, "I brought coffee and donuts." She sang, "The Parisian kind you like."

I smiled, she knew me too well.

Jumping out of bed, I stretched until every part of my body felt good and ready to work. Bella grinned a toothy, timid smile. "I'll meet you in the kitchen."

Showering quickly, I brushed my teeth and styled my hair, throwing on a pair of comfortably snug track pants and a clean camisole. Bella sat dreamily in the living room on the couch. Sponge Bob was on the television, Jackson sprawled across the rug making explosive sound effects while playing with some toys.

I stared at the brownbag of donuts Bella had left on the counter beside a classy, equally brown, paper cup that was still breathing clouds of steam out of the drink opening. Smirking I took the bag and my coffee out into the living room.

Okay, I really love this room. The furniture is all vintage and off-white, with splashes of colour like the cobalt pillows on the couch where Bella sat. And then across the room was the loveseat of the same colour with a vibrant knit blanket spread over the top.

The windows were long and rectangular, giving a vast view of the green outside and the few buildings that made up the town. It was always so bright and cosy here, Jackson and I spent a lot of time just relaxing and watching movies.

Bella waited until I was nibbling on my second donut, taking about my eighth gulp of coffee, savouring the spices and the hint of vanilla that lingered on my tongue.

She cleared her throat, "Um, so I talked to Rose last night. Well, Edward did kind of, he was really angry about the way she treated you." Bella shook her head, she wasn't one to get mad, but I could hear the distaste in her voice when she said, "Even after all that you've done for her."

Sighing, I set my coffee cup down, bringing my legs up to sit on them as I leaned into the soft, squishy material of the couch. Thinking of Rosalie made me think of Jasper. Oh, I think I'm developing a crush on this boy.

I sneered inwardly, that was sudden. I knew nothing about him, and it was going to stay that way since I had no chance of acquiring his phone number.

Shaking my head I pulled my fingers through the velvet smooth of my hair. "That's just Rosalie, she'll come around on her own time. You know trying to change her mind will only make her more determined."

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, her forehead wrinkling. "Alice! You can't be flowers and sunshine _all_ the time! Rosalie is just so..._mean_, don't let her get off with it!" My eyebrows arched, all this from _Bella_? She must have stolen some lines from whatever Edward had told Rose.

I laughed, peering over at Jackson, deep in his own imagination. He was gorgeous. "Bells," I murmured, facing her again. "I have every reason to be all flowers and sunshine. Rosalie doesn't bother me, she's going to be my sister-in-law soon remember?" Bella just rolled her eyes and moaned while I laughed.

"Hey!" She piped up then, her brown tresses spilling over her shoulders in her excitement. "Who's the guy? Edward said it was all some guy's fault – he was so angry he didn't tell me who."

I froze, biting my lip and snatching up my coffee to take another swig. Bella waited, patient and quiet as always. When I sighed, her brown eyed brightened. "Rose's step-brother," I whispered. "And it wasn't his fault!"

Bella gawked at me, "Since when does Rose have a step-brother?"

An idea hit me that second, I gasped, gazing deviously up at Bella. She squinted suspiciously, "I know that look. Whatever it is, Alice, I'm not doing it!" Bella fixed her arms tightly over her chest.

I threw on the magic pout that melted even Edward's heart. Bella squeezed her eyes shut. "Please, Bella," I whined. "You're still close with Rosalie, I just need you to ask her something – it might be a little difficult though."

Bella opened her right eye to peek at me. "What're you getting at Alice Cullen?"


	3. Compromise

I told Bella everything I knew about Jasper – which wasn't very much – she listened diligently, never interrupting. When I explained my strategy to her Bella cringed, becoming hysteric.

"Alice I can't do that! Why would I of all people want _Jasper's_ phone number – Rosalie probably doesn't even have it." She was whining and I couldn't help myself when I laughed, any other day and I would have thought it was cute, but not today.

"Bella, c'mon you're dating my brother, can you do me this teeny favour? If Rosalie won't budge-" Bella butted in to grumpily say, "Which she won't," I didn't let it stop me "-Then I'll just have to phone her Mom. Worst case scenario Rose will find out what I'm up to and be even more upset."

Bella opened her mouth quickly to say something but I lunged forward and clapped my hand over her mouth. "Don't worry, Rosalie and I have yoga together on Wednesday, I'll work everything out with her then."

I pulled my palm away and Bella pouted. She struggled to find something to say but my mind was already made up. I was doing this. "A-Alice, c'mon now, you know good things come to those who wait?" I could tell she was really trying hard, but she'd phrased her statement more like a question and I giggled.

"Bella," I sighed then, peering over at Jackson, now laying on his back watching the television. "I've waited three years, this _is_ the good thing." She moaned in defeat and threw her arms up. I smirked, it was an off day if I didn't get my way.

"Okay." Bella nodded as she stood up, "I'll try." I jumped up and hugged her tightly while she rolled her eyes. "You knew you'd find a way to break me down – don't gloss it over."

With a laughed I let her go, flopping down on the couch again. Bella sighed, brushing her hair out of her face and straightening the ugly grey t-shirt she wore. "I've gatta go, I was supposed to be at Edward's twenty minutes ago."

I snorted, teasingly muttering, "He's probably already called Charlie to see if you're alive still." Bella's face flushed and she paced over to Jackson, looming over him.

"See you later kiddo." She smiled, not like she had to, Jackson had the world's biggest crush on her. He whipped to his feet and wrapped his arms around her legs, Bella swayed slightly attempting to hold her already lacking balance.

"Bye Bella." Jackson sighed, releasing her legs so she could leave. I walked her to the door, promising to call later before locking her out. Jackson looked at me sadly, sitting himself on the couch.

There was something odd about this expression. "What's up?" I asked, striding back into the living room, climbing over the back of the couch to sit down beside him.

"How come you don't go to Dad's house?" Jackson's voice was but a murmur and I guessed he'd heard Bella's departing words. Still, it didn't make this conversation any easier.

Clearing my throat I tried to think of a way I could explain without having to lie and sugar coat it. "Because..." I sighed, squinting at the drapes around the windows, the dim light of the murky grey sky seeping in. "Because I don't love Daddy like Bella loves Edward."

It was hard for me to say it, thinking about how much I had cared for Tristan before what he had done. Jackson made the face he made whenever I mentioned _Edward and Bella _together. He could be as jealous as I could at times, which was a lot for a five-year-old.

"But _why_?" He persisted crawling into my lap, shifting around so he could look up at me. I evaded eye contact, trying to think of something I could say that didn't involve the word _abusive _.

Shrugging my shoulders I answered softly, innocently. "I just...he hurt me really, really bad Jackie. And...we can't be together ever again." I tousled his hair, forcing a smile that I hoped he couldn't tell was fake.

Jackson's face when rock hard, "Daddy hurt you?" He spoke through his teeth, the way he did when he was angry and didn't know what to do with himself. I nodded and Jackson growled, "I don't like him anymore." Jackson shuffled up to coil his arms around my neck. "It's okay, I'll protect you."

Tears came to my eyes then, my voice shaking when I tried to make a joke. "Hey, who's raising who around here?" Jackson's body shook with laughter against mine and I smiled wholeheartedly.

God, I'm so lucky.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in the small storage room I had redone into an office. My muse came the instant I'd walked in the French doors and sat at my desk, before I could stop myself I was sketching and faxing all twelve new designs I'd made to my boss.

As I waited for her to email me what she thought of them, I started digging. I'd called Rosalie's Mother to discuss the party last night, she had been there but I hadn't the opportunity to come across her. If I was lucky maybe she was at home. I called four times, getting her answering machine each time. I left only one message, hanging up the last three times I phoned.

It was silly how excited I got when it sounded as if someone answered, only to get the robotic machine that left me empty and, dejected. I wanted to call Rose, she was always up for a shopping trip whenever I was upset. Mostly because I couldn't help but buy her expensive things, half of Rosalie's wardrobe consists of items I'd bought her.

I did it because she was my best friend, because it made me happy to see her face light up when she saw the shoes, or the jewellery or the clothes.

That and, between Jackson and I, I had a lot of pocket change. He may be my exact replica personality wise, but he is a boy and doesn't appreciate splurging on clothes. He saw no point in the costly jeans and jackets and shoes.

And I...well, I'm strong enough to admit I have an addiction to shopping. Just because of what I do for a living, I can't help myself. But I'm not stupid with money and I saved a lot in a vault just for Jackson if he ever needed it.

It just seemed like a natural instinct to shop when I was bothered. And I always had Rosalie there to come with me, because with Bella I had to handcuff her to my wrist just to keep her in the store. It killed me that I couldn't just drive over, leave Jackson with Emmett – as much as I dreaded that idea, both Jackie and Em would love it – and I'd take Rose out.

Then again, maybe I could.

"Jackie," I started, sweeping into the living room to find him charging around the room with a towel tied around his neck. In a second, I was brought back to my childhood, thinking about Edward and Emmett doing the same thing, never letting me join in. "Girls can't be super heroes!" Edward would snarl, I'd contradict him with Wonder Woman and Batgirl but he and Emmett just got angrier.

Carlisle, our Father would come out into the backyard and take me back inside. We'd play our own superhero game and I made an actual cape, one with sequins and sparkles, which was enough to make Edward jealous. I always let them join our game.

I blinked at Jackson, smiling faintly as he ran at me. "It's not safe here!" He shouted in his best superhero voice, pushing my knees. "There's bad guys!"

Jackson frantically backed me into the kitchen. I laughed at the sheer panic for my safety he had. "Do you need help with these bad guys?" I asked, watching him look up at me as if I'd suggested that he bathe in acid.

"No!" He yelled, "Mom, you're the stressed camel, you can't help me!" Jackson objected to any further aid, taking a big breath in and dashing into the living room with a battle cry.

I stared after him. Stressed camel? I didn't think that was something I really wanted to be and – oh! Stressed camel. _Damsel_ he meant, I was the _distressed damsel_. Silly boy, if he only knew how awesome of a superhero I am.

With a roll of my eyes, I started fixing a snack, grabbing a Kraft Dinner box and squinting at it. Pre-cooked noodles that tasted like cardboard and powdered processed cheese. Delicious. That's the last time I take Bella grocery shopping.

Reading the ingredients I frowned, what the heck are Microbial Enzymes? And it was 240 calories! Why on earth does Jackson like this stuff? Wait, why does _Bella_ like this stuff?

Then again I guess she can afford to eat junk like this every once in a while. Bella can cook, she's like a magician in the kitchen, though I'm always sort of finicky when she uses knives. It's a wonder she still has all ten fingers.

I on the other hand...well, some of my previous _experiments_ had gone..._astray_. I'm not that bad, university taught me how to cook, although it was a hard and upsetting lesson. Seriously, these artistic hands – however small they may be – were meant for cutting and primping and pruning. Not mashing and whisking and stirring!

Reluctantly I followed the instructions on the side of the box, adding the pasta, cooking for two minutes, straining them, stirring in milk and butter then the cheese.

Setting out two plates, I grabbed our glasses and utensils yelling for Jackson to come and eat. He grinned enormously when he saw the abnormally yellow-orange pasta, climbing onto his chair and scooping up a mouthful.

"Bad guys taken care of?" I asked, poking at the macaroni with my spoon. Jackson nodded vigorously, mumbling something I couldn't quite understand with his mouth full. "So I'm safe at last?"

Another enthusiastic nod. Another unintelligible grunt.

I leaned over the table to give him a big messy kiss on the cheek, Jackson swallowed audibly then howled! "Mom you can't _kiss_ a superhero!" He looked genuinely offended, "Does Aunt May kiss Spiderman? No!"

I burst out laughing, watching as Jackson folded his arms over his chest, thoroughly displeased. Taking a few long, slow breaths in I looked at him sombrely. "I'm sorry, I didn't know there were rules." Jackson shook his head dramatically.

"Hey," I began, piling the dishes in the dishwasher as I turned to face him, untying the knot of green towel around his throat. Jackson looked up and me and I pretended to wipe something off of my pants. "Um," I cleared my throat. "Want to go see Uncle Emmett for a while?"

Jackson shouted a "yes" before running up the stairs to change clothes, I followed after starting up the dishwasher. Jackson put on a pair of jeans and a blue button-up shirt, white I switched into some tight fitting, low rise dark washed Versace denims and a white lace blouse. I put on a shimmery coat of lip gloss and we were off.

Jackson hummed to a song on the radio with me, he leaned against the window and sighed. "Why do you think everything is so green?" He asked suddenly I smiled, turning down a familiarly long driveway.

"Because everything is so healthy." I answered, seeing him turn to me in the passenger seat and purse his lips. When I glanced over at him he was squinting curiously at me, it made my face hot. "What's wrong?"

Jackson held his place a moment longer, his face scrunched, his eyes narrowed. "Then why aren't we green?" He wondered sceptically, I snorted back a laugh, flicking my head to the side to remove a shiny black lock from my face.

I snickered, "Because we just ate that box of Kraft Dinner." Jackson gasped, hands on his belly while I parked the car behind Emmett's hulking jeep.

"We shouldn't eat that anymore," Jackson decided, holding my hand as we marched up to Rosalie's door. I breathed in slowly, knocking three times and waiting patiently, then I heard Emmett yelling. That was normal.

He opened the door and smiled hugely when he saw Jackson, moving out of our way so we could come in. After hugging us both Emmett suggested that Jackson go wait in the living room so they could play some kind of video game.

When Jackson vanished Emmett whirled on me, "You shouldn't be here, Rose is still pissed. She even called to chew out her Mom last night for inviting Jasper over."

Fear bubbled in my gut. I wanted to fix things with Rose, not make them worse. What was I thinking, asking Bella to get involved? Ugh, I'm such an idiot!

Turning to Emmett I tried to look big and bold when I was teeny and nervous. This wasn't me, I'd never let Rosalie bustle me around, she had her days but I didn't stand for the crap she threw my way when she was angry. I am too good for that.

"It's okay I'll–" My voice hitched when Rosalie walked in, the interest on her face easily fading as outrage fired up over her features. I strode towards her, only realizing how she towered over me when we were a few feet apart.

"Emmett!" Jackson shouted impatiently, my brother looking at me hesitantly, I just waved him off. I'd rather Jackie distracted than hearing whatever Rosalie had to say to me.

Sighing, I looked up at her. "Rose, however I have wronged you, I'm sorry." I said it firmly, authoritatively Rosalie just snorted her eyebrow cocking.

"Alice you don't even _know_ him." She hissed, her blonde hair swinging around her slender body. "And yet you have Edward on my case and _Bella_ pestering me about Jasper's _phone number_?"

I winced, poor Bella. I didn't think she'd ask Rose so soon, she probably panicked and had no idea what to say to her. Rosalie was intimidating, and it was not something that got softer deep down inside her. Rose was just plain scary, I knew her too well for it to frighten me, but Bella didn't.

"That was wrong, I should've asked you outright." I murmured, not letting any of my emotions overthrow me. I wasn't going to have a yelling match with Rosalie – especially not while Jackson was anywhere near. "I just wanted to give you some time to...relax. I thought if Bella talked to you maybe you'd be more comfortable than if I showed up demanding answers. As for Edward, you know how he gets, he's my brother he thinks it's his duty to protect me."

Rosalie stood perfectly still, the hostility of her expression unmoving. Her blue eyes bore down on me with a force meant to crush. "Please Rose, I only came over to ask you to come shopping with me." I sighed, seeing how difficult a task breaking her down was going to be.

She spoke through clenched teeth, "You only shop when you're upset about something." That wasn't completely true, but I only came to Rosalie when I was in need of emotional aid. However cold she was, she was as good a friend as Bella. And I knew if I ever needed anything they would be there for me.

"There's just something about him." I blurted, wishing I hadn't when I saw her reaction. "I'm not sure, Jasper's different Rose, and I'm sorry but I want to see him again."

Rosalie lifted her chin at me, I guess it's not just Edward who can pull of the condescending glower. "That's what you said about the last one, remember? Tristan? The one who knocked you up, slapped your kid around and-"

I snarled, which is so unlike me. "That's too far Rosalie – you're out of line." I stamped my foot, furious that she'd brought _him_ up, but my eyes stung and my throat clenched. No Alice, don't cry, this isn't you. Flowers and sunshine, that's you, boundless energy Alice, bright and happy Alice.

Or is it?

"H-h-how could you say that to me?" My voice wavered, I felt the tears coming and wanted to turn away. This isn't me! I kept telling myself, I never break like this – I'm the invincible one!

Rosalie's iron hard fury slipped down, she sighed as her blue eyes darted away from me, her perfect full lips pressing together tightly. She didn't apologize and I knew she wasn't sorry, but I accepted the comfort I found when she hugged me.

She made me feel teeny, like _I_ was the little kid. Rose pet my hair, "That was out of line." She agreed, though the resolution of her tone made me certain that she was nowhere close to regretting anything she'd said.

Rosalie held me at arm's length now, tilting her head so her right eye was masked behind a golden curl. "I'll...call...him. _Jasper_." Rosalie could barely talk, I knew what she was saying was difficult but I didn't know it was really that hard for her.

"You're not-not joking are you?" I narrowed my eyes at her, feeling the anticipation seize my stomach. Rosalie shook her head a fraction, clenching her teeth. I jumped on her. "Thank you! Thank you!"

I spent the next morning driving Jackson to school, walking him up to his classroom and giving him advice about cooties. I kissed his nose and unleashed his gigantic personality on his senior kindergarten class. Mrs. Reid, his teacher caught me in the parking lot before I managed to escape. Mrs. _Daisy_ Reid and I never saw eye to eye.

Mainly because she thought I was a whore for getting pregnant so young. That, and apparently I am an awful mother because I had Jackson stay with my parents while I went to Rome on a business trip. It wasn't like I didn't invite him – everyone I work with adores him – but, Jackson's terrified of planes besides, I'd die of the worry if he went missing for even a second.

If you ask anyone in Forks, they'll tell you Dr. and Mrs. Cullen raised Emmett, Edward and I to be the most well-mannered and, respectful children you would ever meet. Well, with the occasional slip-up from Emmett. That was just the way Carlisle and Esme were. Clearly that memo missed Mrs. Reid.

She loved Edward and Emmett, it's just me – of all people _me_ – she has an issue with. "Alice." She called, I took in a deep calming breath and closed my car door, pivoting in my heels to face her. "May I have a word with you?" Mrs. Reid asked.

Daisy had a crooked nose and these lazy grey eyes that seemed to rake over you whenever she glanced your way. She smiled sweetly, falsely. The only thing I found relatively pleasant about Mrs. Reid was the light grey pencil skirt she was wearing today. A knock-off of course, but still a beautiful colour.

"I just thought you should know," She started, quickly glancing around the parking lot. "That I caught your son, Jackson, cheating on his multiplication last Friday. This is the second time mind you." Mrs. Reid looked down her misshapen nose at me and I wished I'd worn my pumps and not my ballet flats.

Clearing my throat and combing a messy hair from my face I smiled as kindly as I could. Years of working with snooty models made you quite the good actress. "Well, Mrs. Reid, we have been practicing at home. Besides Jackson is more creative than mathematical, he's trying his best and-"

Mrs. Reid interrupted me rudely, taking on this quiet murmur of hostility. "Oh I know he's creative, all he does is doodle on his desk." She snorted, "I can't imagine what kind of vandalism this will develop into."

Taking a deep breath I warded off the rage that had captured me. Breathe Alice, I told myself, just calm down. "Jackson's only five and with all due respect ma'am a few doodles is not going to result in bank robbery. He's a brilliant little boy if you just give him the chance to prove it, he will."

Mrs. Reid snorted and shook her head. "That's just what I would expect from an irresponsible parent." She snapped, turning and taking a few paces away from me. I held my tongue, having to keep my hands firmly at my sides to keep from punching her. "I suppose I'll have to handle the situation myself. Good day Miss Cullen."

Outraged I climbed back into my car, revving the engine loud enough to draw some attention before ripping out of the parking lot. I put my headset on at a red light, eyeing the ugly black clouds forming overhead as I called my Mother.

The phone rang twice. "Hello?" Esme's voice was soft, the feeling of home instantly calmed me.

"Mom?" I growled, listening as she sighed. "Would you help me home school Jackson if I was to pull him out of Fork's Elementary?"

Esme breathed out heavily, her soothing voice rising slightly. "Oh Alice, don't tell me Daisy's gotten to you again." I clutched the steering wheel as I drove through the small town, smiling and waving when I saw a familiar face. "If you stop reaction she'll stop trying."

Shaking my head furiously I pulled into the small parking lot beside Rosalie's candy red BMW and cutting the engine. "Mom," I hissed, "This isn't a school bully – she _hates_ me! I despise every day I have to take him to that awful place."

Esme laughed on the other line, the warm, gentle sound made me smile. I missed hearing Mom's voice. "Alice take a deep breath-" I did "-Relax and have fun with Rosalie today, if Jackson is anything like you, you know he's going to be just fine."

I made a face, unhappy that she didn't just tell me I could yank Jackson out of school and have him hang out at home with me. "Love you Mom, I'll talk to you soon."

Esme's voice held a smile, "I love you too sweetie, keep your chin up." With that I ended the call, setting my headset down on the passenger seat and stepping out into the oncoming rain. Rosalie soon followed, the two of us making our way towards yoga class as I filled her in on what had happened.


	4. Anticipation

Thank you everyone for the reviews, I hope this chapter is as good as the last. I'm kinda surprised, I really REALLY like writing this lol it's just different, but I'm loving it ;P thanks again, R&R and let me know how I did :D

~Selene

* * *

"Ugh, I never liked that old witch." Rose quipped turning her nose up at the very mention of Mrs. Reid. I admired her blonde braid, wrapped like a halo around her head. Rosalie wore a fitting pair of sweat pants and a hoodie that was so clearly Emmett's I probably would have drowned in it. She seemed to pull it off gorgeously.

Slipping out of our shoes we entered the wide rectangular room, with the soft light wood floors, and fully mirrored walls. The air conditioning droned, humming over the rain that had begun pouring outside. It felt cool and comfortable inside, Rose and I joining the group gathered with their yoga mats.

It was wild how this class got my teeny body back to shape after I'd had Jackson. When I came now, it was so relaxing I hardly realized my body was getting any kind of work out. Rosalie joked that it gave her some time off from her own child at home.

The guy who lead the class, Chace, appeared to be as straight as the letter S, nothing that I was even slightly opposed to, however my brother was a totally different story. Emmet believed it to be all a sham, it was a wonder that Rose was allowed back into the class after he nearly scared Chace into wetting himself.

We worked our way through the various poses, ranging from simple breathing to the Bird of Paradise, which strengthens the legs all the way to the Dolphin Pose.

Rosalie and I whispered through the whole session. She told me about how Emmett threw a black t-shirt in the wash and, dyed everything black yesterday. Then this morning he used too much soap in the dishwasher and the whole kitchen flooded with bubbles.

I snickered, Jackson had done that once, he'd been trying to be helpful and do some chores. There was soap everywhere, though I couldn't be as mad as I would have liked because his intentions were sweet.

After the class was over Rose and I toughed through the rain to a familiar cafe. It wasn't a place I would usually be fond of, but it was small and quaint and always smelt of cinnamon buns. Coming here after yoga just made me want to nap for the rest of the day.

Elbow on the table I rested my chin in my palm, drawing out my iPhone to check my messages. Sure enough I found an email from Elise, a series of photographs from Rome and the new line of lingerie we were supposed to be releasing next month. At the end of the email she asked me what size and colour I wanted and I grinned.

Elise Notting was one of the few girls I was close to when I worked. I made sure to buy her something nice whenever I traveled, and she did the same. Elise was lucky enough to be shipped off to Rome for the month, while I stayed here in sad, rainy Forks, Washington.

Rosalie sat down across from me in our snug little booth, sliding me a mug full of hot chocolate, on top was a tower of whipped cream and a thick drizzle of caramel. Smiling gratefully I took up the mug and had myself a taste, wiping away the cream moustache I'd acquired.

"Why Jasper?" Rose finally asked, I stared down into the melting mound of whipped cream and sighed. I had been working to avoid this conversation, at least until I could call Bella and be giddy about it. I certainly did not want to cross Rosalie again.

Pursing my lips I took another gulp of my drink, savouring the burning trail of coca and the tang of caramel. "Why _not_ Jasper?" I wiped at my mouth, eyeing her carefully.

Rosalie held in her delicate hands a large mug, twice the size of my own that smelt strongly of caffeine and mint. She made a face at me that bluntly said, "touché" but she didn't let the subject slide.

"Alice, you don't know him." There was something in Rosalie's voice that, if I didn't know better, I would have thought it a whine. Meeting her gaze I shook my head gently, disarrayed wisps of my hair lashing on my cheeks.

"You're not giving me the chance to know him." I countered, insulted that she was treating me like a child when I was anything but. Rosalie looked down her perfectly slender nose and drank from her mug again.

"You know you could have any guy in Forks – hell, any guy on the planet! Why Jasper?" Rosalie was adamant, her persistence now was bordering the lines of annoyance. It wasn't fair – she was going to be _marrying_ Emmett in a few months, I'm not even allowed to _see_ Jasper?

"Alice you deserve better than some Texan raised farm boy, who's lived in a barn all his life!" She spoke sharply now, "I mean, can't you find some classy, sweet talking Italian to sweep you off your feet?" Rosalie leaned back in her chair, running her hand over Emmett's sweater and grinning faintly.

I laughed, I'd had one of those already, unfortunately our relationship did not progress beyond the second date. "I'm flattered Rosalie, really I am, but how will I know if I don't try? He seemed really nice at the party." It was as if as soon as I mentioned it, my knuckles began to tingle. I wonder how it would feel to kiss a mouth so gentle and compassionate.

Blushing furiously, I pushed the thought from my mind, remembering who I was sitting with. Rosalie snorted, "Yeah, I bet he was real smooth." Pressing my lips together I gazed across the table at her firmly, I wasn't going to let Rose break me and she knew that.

I sipped my hot chocolate, "Oh stop it." Hesitating, I waited until Rosalie had taken another slow gulp of her drink before asking, "Did you call him?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and set her mug down irately. Her expression was one of mild anger, she breathed in several slow breaths before glaring at me. "I did." She nodded stiffly, frowning harshly at my excitement. "And he told me it wouldn't be _courteous_ of him to have you phone, then he asked for your number so he could _call upon you_ instead-" Rosalie clenched her teeth "-I gave it to him, then hung up."

Holding back every ounce of my animation I merely nodded and mumbled, "Oh well that was nice of him. Thank you." Rosalie rolled her glimmering blue eyes again. I grinned stretching my arm over the table, seeking her hand. "Really Rosalie, thank you."

She pulled her hand out from under mine and scowled, "Yes, I know." Rosalie and I finished our beverages, speaking of other things that didn't involve either of our brothers. I paid the bill, despite Rosalie's protests and as we left the shop to brave the rain again, we planned a trip to the movies – of course I still had to call Bella to see if she would join us.

Rose and I went our separate ways, I sped home just a touch over the speed limit. Once inside I forced myself to clean, vacuuming mine and Jackson's bedrooms, organizing his toys in the proper bins, all the while gathering laundry. I took the bin and headed to the third floor where the laundry room was, filling three machines with quarters and loading them up.

It took everything I had just to sit still and email Elise via iPhone, and not race back to my apartment to check the answering machine. He probably hasn't called, I told myself, he probably has much more to do than call you. I frowned, disappointment frightened me, what if he hadn't called? How foolish would I look then? Rosalie said she spoke to him yesterday evening.

"Ugh!" I moaned, hiding my face in my hands. Now I was afraid to go back up there, if he didn't call I would just be wallowing in my own misfortune until I had to go pick Jackson up. "He's right," I laughed, the sound muffled by my palms. "I am a stressed camel."

Someone laughed.

The sound made me jump so high I thought that maybe, just once in my life I'd be able to touch the ceiling. I whipped around to find Andrew Holt, the landlord's son barrelling towards me, frantic. "Alice I'm so sorry!" He gasped, "I didn't men to scare you!"

He grabbed my elbows and rasped out a lengthy stream of apologise. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, waiting for my heart to slow when I realized just how close he was to me – I could feel the heat coming from his skin.

Opening my eyes I gaped up at Andrew, pale hazel eyes, shaggy brindle hair, long face, the bow-like mouth that curved upwards at the corners. Clearing my throat I stepped out of his grasp, smiling forcibly, he returned the grin then frowned, becoming shaky and quiet.

Realization struck me and I saw just how deep my flirting had gone. Oh, no, don't ask me out! The words were not spoken aloud but I hoped the message was relayed on my face. Andrew sighed then peeked down at me nervously, "Listen, um, I was kind of wondering if...if you were busy tonight?" He smiled sheepishly, "Maybe we could...ya know, catch a movie or a bite to eat later on."

He looked so hopeful that I wanted to say yes just to make him happy, any other day I would have, but I couldn't – not when I was clinging to the shred of hope that Jasper had left a message. I smiled sweetly, putting my hands up on his shoulders, "I'm sorry Drew, but I have a lot of work to do today and I have to help Jackson with his school work."

He looked utterly miserable, and I struggled to keep ploughing through. I didn't like hurting people, and Drew was really a sweet guy, I was a year his senior but, he was always nice to Jackson and I. "Maybe another night?" I said cheerily, pulling him down and standing on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

Andrew's face flushed, he bit his lip and nodded, the happy-go-lucky Drew I knew swooped back into action yet again. "Y-y-yeah, sure thing Alice, that'd be great." He stumbled backward, turning on his heels and I grinned as he touched his cheek and headed for the door. I turned back to my laundry when he called my name again. "Um, Alice? What did you mean by stressed camel?" He held off a laugh and I blushed.

"Uh, it's an inside joke," I mumbled. "Between Jackson and I." Andrew nodded and left the room I slumped over one of the shaking machines and groaned. I must've sounded like a complete dope!

I waited until the wash was finished, folding the clothes and setting them back in the basket I'd brought down. I moved slowly through the halls of the apartment, grinning gleefully at the people I knew in the building. As I stood in the elevator, scaling up to my floor, I focused only on the glowing numbers above the door.

3...4...5...6...7...8..._ding!_

I dreaded coming down the hall, walking as sluggishly as possible until I came to my door...where the phone rang inside. My heart leapt and I almost dropped the entire laundry basket, fumbling to get my keys and unlock the door.

Dropping the laundry in the front hall I sprinted for the kitchen, springing over the mop and bucket I'd left in the doorway. I snatched up the phone a second before the answering machine, my heart pounding, skin crawling. "Hello?" I asked, breathless.

He called! He called! He called! I danced in the kitchen, pirouetting and jumping and–

"Hey Alice, I need your help with something me and-"

I almost screamed, "Edward!" I punched the wall, wincing as I did, drawing my hand back and silently moaning in agony.

Edward snorted, "No, Santa Clause, who else?" I collapsed onto the floor, pinching the phone between my ear and shoulder as I whimpered over my now throbbing hand. Oh no, it's swelling! Jumping to my feet I strode over to the fridge, opening the freezer and wiggling my hand between a bag of peas and a tray of ice.

"Have I ever told you I hate you?" I growled, my whole body breaking out in goose bumps and a relentless bolt of chills. Edward chuckled on the other line.

He sighed, "Yes, when I told you leprechauns didn't exist and that there was no end or pot of gold to a rainbow." My nose scrunched at the memory, I'd cried for hours until he took it back. "Seriously though Alice, I need your help."

I rolled my eyes, yanking my hand out of the freezer when it numbed and closed the door. "Okay, what's wrong?" I held the phone between my ear and shoulder, pacing out of the kitchen and into the front hall.

I kneeled and refolded the clothes that had fallen from the basket, placing them gently inside. Locking the front door and carrying the bin upstairs I began sorting out the clothes. "Well," Edward started, "I'm taking Bella out and I can't figure out what to wear."

Holding in my laughter I shook my head, taking a pile of sweaters and handing them up in Jackson's closet. "Edward, you've been together since high school, somehow I doubt Bella's going to care about your _clothing_."

He grunted, being firm, obstinate Edward. "Fine," I hissed, "Where are you going?" My questioning began as I folded up a pair of red lace panties and tucking them away in my drawer, setting the matching bra beside it.

"No where huge, you know how Bella gets, we're just going to a diner – you know the one off of main, just outside of town?" Edward was openly displeased by this fact, I smiled. He'd tried to treat Bella before, taking her to one of the very few uptown restaurants. She nearly fainted from the anxiety of being in such a classy place.

Bella was perfect for Forks, she was the personification of small town. She hates expensive things and fusses whenever any of us buy her extravagant gifts.

I knew Bella would appreciate Edwards stress over his outfit, obviously he wanted this to be special and she would see that. "Easy." I muttered, "The black button-up with the dark wash jeans I bought you. Not too formal, just enough that she'll notice without making her feel underdressed."

Edward was quiet a moment, when he spoke next I heard the grin in his voice. "Thanks Alice." I rolled my eyes though he couldn't see. "I'll talk to you later." I mumbled my goodbyes and clicked the phone off, tossing it on my bed and carrying a pair of jeans into Jackson's room.

I draped them on the hanger I'd bought specifically meant for pants, then closed his closet door. Taking the laundry bin into my closet, I packed away a pair of faux leather tights and hung up two of my evening dresses. I took the last few items into my room, quickly putting away my sweaters, shirts and jeans then, placing the various sets of bras and panties in their drawers.

I stared at them a moment, the intricate webbings of lace, the diverse solid colours and patterns. I never went undergarment shopping with Rose or Bella – strictly because Bella blushed and stammered at the very idea of stringy lace and at the very worst lingerie. I didn't go with Rosalie because it devastated my ego, until the point I just wanted to hide away. Try shopping with someone who's a D and you're an A and tell me how you feel.

Closing up the drawers I came back downstairs, returning the mops and brushes to their closets and glancing at the clock. Jackson would be out of school in an hour.

Setting the table and washing a handful of potatoes, chopping them up and dropping them into a bowl of water. I got out some vegetables and chicken, thawing them both out before I grabbed my coat and keys, heading out.

I drove slowly in the rain, playing a CD Edward had made for me. The windshield wipers hummed, dragging across the glass as I steered down the familiar curves and bends.

Jackson was waiting under the overhang with a group of kids, the supervisor on duty was Jackson's art teacher who we both loved. He was quiet and patient and I was certain every mother who saw him drooled.

Even I had had a small crush on him, we'd gone out for lunch once. After which, Edward and Bella convinced me it was disconcerting to be dating a man that was older than Emmett. Mr. Scott Tory, was thirty and Emmett was twenty-six, only now did I truthfully see just how uncomfortable that was. To make matters even worse, he taught my son.

I cringed, pulling the hood up on my black jacket, it was one Elise bought me in Milan, designed by Vivienne Westwood. Trooping through the puddles, I called Jackson's name, watching as he turned and beamed. It was impossible for me not to smile when I saw that face.

The day hadn't seemed long until now, when I was a mere thirty feet, only in this instant did I miss him more than I'd missed anything in the world. Jackson waved to his friends and to Mr. Tory, splashing down the walkway to coil his arms around my legs.

When Jackson finally backed away a step I lowered to his level, ignoring the rain and how it made my skin cold and clammy. "I missed you." I smiled, inclining towards him to kiss his hair, Jackson wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I missed you too." He sighed, and I scooped him up, carrying him back towards the Porsche. I set Jackson in the passenger seat, scurrying around the front of the car to duck inside where it was warm and dry.

"Did you have a good day?" I asked, carefully backing out of my spot, driving cautiously through the lot until we came to the road. Jackson leaned against his door, eyes chasing the trees that whipped by.

Jackson smiled at me, fiddling with his seat belt. "Yes." His smile grew, "Valeria said we could play together now because you gave me my cootie shot." His grin faded suddenly and I reached out to muss his hair with my right hand, clutching the wheel with my left.

Turning my left signal on, I made my turn gradual, then picked up a little speed. "What happened baby?" I asked, thoroughly bothered by his abrupt quiet and frown.

Jackson mumbled something under his breath, I put on my right signal, pulling over on the side of the road. "Did something bad happen at school today?" I asked, Jackson nodded. I clenched my teeth, "Did Mrs. Reid say something to you?"

Jackson looked up at me, and I forced my gaze to stay on his. His lips began to tremble, hot tears spilling down his face. "I-I-I-I got stuck on a question in math time a-a-and I leaned over to ask Zoe for help, but Mrs. Reid yelled-d-d at me and said I was _cheating_!" He cried, unsnapping his belt to crawl over the console into my lap. Jackson hid his face in my neck, his tears burning my skin. "Sh-sh-she sent me to the office and told Mr. Banks I was a delicate like you."

Delicate? No, _delinquent_.

Clenching my teeth, I held him close with one arm, turning my blinker off and speeding back to the school.

"Where are you going?" Jackson moaned when I cut the engine, sliding him into my seat as I stepped out. I ran my fingertips over his cheek, pulling them through his hair.

"Stay here sweetie, I'll just be a moment." I promised, trying to sound as comforting and kind as I could while boiling in a haze of rage. I closed the door, pushing the car keys into my coat pocket, as I stormed up the walk way again, Scott glanced at me, befuddled.

I didn't pay him any attention, storming inside, down the hall into the third class room on the left. "You have no right to speak to him that way!" I roared, Mrs. Reid leapt up from behind her desk, the surprise on her face hardly satisfying.

"_Delinquent_," I snarled. "You talk to me that way, never to him-" I stomped towards her desk at the side of the room, Daisy backing against the wall with her hands up when I slammed my fist on her desk "-if you ever speak that way to my son again I swear those will be _the last_ words out of your mouth!"

"Alice, Alice stop!" Mr. Tory burst in, hands on my shoulders, drawing me away from the trembling Mrs. Reid. After Scott brought me into the hallway I couldn't believe what I had done. Other teachers gathered in the hallway, each of them looking confused and frightened. I was going to be the talk of Forks by the end of the night.

I'd never raised my voice at someone older than me – someone I was meant to respect and honour. I was mortified. I should have gone straight to Mr. Banks with this instead of lashing out at Mrs. Reid. Oh God, what have I done!

Scott took me outside, hands on my arms. "What happened?" He looked genuinely concerned by my outburst, I just wanted to go home, never speak of this day again. Heaven forbid this news reach the hospital, Carlisle would have a fit if he found out what I'd done. Hands on my cheeks, I paced, telling Mr. Tory everything beginning at the events of the morning.

"It's okay, it's alright." Scott murmured, holding me still, "You have every right to be angry, that was completely unprofessional of Daisy." Then he sighed, looking hesitant.

Narrowing my eyes on him, I shook my head, smooth black hairs lapping at my face. "I'm terribly sorry for the trouble I've caused," I murmured. "I'll...I'll just go."

I sat in the stillness of the car for the longest time, gazing over at Jackson, who'd crawled back into his seat and buckled up. Throwing my own seat belt on, I drove home. Neither Jackson nor I said anything until we were standing in the elevator, his hand in mine.

"What happens now?" He asked, leaning into my side. The elevator dinged, and we strode out into the hall. It was such a relief to be away from that place, that place and that vile woman.

Opening our door, I held it open for him. "Now you're not going to school tomorrow." I mumbled, locking the front door, taking his coat and hanging it up alongside mine in the hall closet.

Jackson's eyes brightened, I flinched. "Or ever?" I smiled at his enthusiasm, his ability to bounce back so quickly. Jackson was so bright, a small sun all his own. I shook my head at him, "We'll see."

He smiled a wide, toothy smile, toeing off his sneakers and setting them in the coat closet. I watched as he darted off for the stairs, dashing up to his room, completely unfazed.

I stretched and glanced over my shoulder at the front door. I'm locking it out, I thought, locking out all that had happened. I wouldn't let it crush me, that is who I am, flowers and sunshine. There was a bright side to this, one I could not yet see, but I would find.

Returning to the kitchen I started dinner again, frying up the chicken and cooking up the potatoes and vegetables. The kitchen smelt of spices and warmth, something that reminded me of home.

I heard Jackson in the living room, mumbling about numbers. Taking a moment I stepped out into the hall, smiling widely when I saw him reading over his flash cards. It was incredible, his determination.

Sliding into the kitchen again, I left him to his work, not wanting to disrupt his focus. When I caught I glimmer on the kitchen wall I spun on my toes, squinting at the letters showing on the teeny screen below the phone.

O...N...E...M...E...S...S...A...G...E

What? Then my stomach fell down to my toes, I snatched the phone off the receiver. _One message_!


	5. Open Wounds and Seas of Scars

Okay, before you read this chapter PLEASE read Chapter Two again, just 'cause I made a massive, mortifying mistake and I bet everybody picked up on it. Jasper's older than Rosalie and yet her Father divorced her Mother for Jasper's? I'm an idiot. That's why I rewrote it and edited this one.

~Selene

* * *

Jasper's voice, the slow drawl of his words, it made the frustrations of the day seem unimportant and stupid. I called him, of course – after listening to the message twelve times before feeling foolish. I held my breath while the phone rang, having to busy myself with setting dinner on the table and calling for Jackson.

"Hello?"

I froze, standing perfectly still in the hallway, eyes wide mouth agape, words...escaping me. "Hello?" He said again, I couldn't remember how to move my tongue. Jackson slammed into the back of my legs, the both of us staggering, I made an awful moan as I stumbled.

Great, just great! Now you _have_ to say something!

"H-h-hey," I stammered, squeezing my eyes shut as my face broke out in burns. "It's...it's Alice." I leaned against the wall, peeking my eyes open only when I heard Jackson's chair scrape back in the kitchen.

Oh, Alice you goof! He can't see you! I cleared my throat, shaking my head and pacing into the kitchen, dropping into my chair and gazing over at Jackson who stared at me in confusion.

Jasper chuckled on the other line and my fork clattered against my plate. Ugh, how is he doing this? "Should have known," In Jasper's voice was a smile and I immediately had to gasp for breath. "I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner."

I sighed, "It's fine." Poking a carrot around on my plate I glanced up when Jackson groaned. He touched a sprout of broccoli and glowered at it, as if the tiny tree may just sprout arms and legs and lunge at him.

"Eat it." I prompted, narrowing my eyes at him.

Jackson gave me a tight expression, one that bluntly articulated his displeasure. He skewered the leafy green with his fork and waved it at me, "You eat it!" He laughed when I drew the phone from my ear, snatched his hand and bit the broccoli off his fork.

"You get the rest." I said, trying to sound as threatening as I could. Jackson's eyebrows arched before he turned to his plate once again, sneering at the vegetables.

Shaking my head I brought the phone back to me, eyeing Jackson carefully, making sure he wasn't spitting his food into his napkin or anything. I used to do that when my Father tried to make me eat spinach.

"Sorry," I murmured into the phone. "My son refuses to eat his food." Jasper laughed while Jackson stuck his tongue out at me, I grinned returning the gesture.

I heard him exhale on the other end, Jasper's smooth drawl made me shiver. "You haven't tried bribing him? That always worked for me." I smiled sheepishly, Jackson would not be bribed, it was like he could smell a trap a mile away. He evaded my persuasion and went on with what he was previously doing.

See? He's brilliant if given the chance to show it. Jasper and I spoke on the phone while I stared at the food growing cold on my plate. Holding the phone between my shoulder and ear, I cleared Jackson's plate and placed it in the dishwasher, making up a bowl of chocolate ice cream and setting it down in front of him.

Jackson smiled at me gratefully and I started pushing the untouched meal on my plate into the garbage. "What are you doing this evening Miss Cullen?" Jasper asked while I stacked our dishes in the washer, my fingers fumbled on the dishwasher soap, I nearly dropped the bottle which would have spilled soap everywhere.

Taking a deep breath I grumbled, "Going over flash cards." Then I sighed, closing up the washer and starting it up. I stretched and faced Jackson, still seated at the table, chocolate already smeared across his mouth and chin.

Before I knew what I was saying, I'd invited Jasper over, the directions to our apartment had never come to me so quickly. Hanging up the phone seemed to cast an electric charge that began in my fingers and stole through the rest of my arm.

"Who's coming?" Jackson asked when I'd treaded around the table to stand beside him. He handed me his spoon, squirming slightly in his chair as I scooped up a mouthful of ice cream. Chocolate swirled in my mouth, a combination of bitterness, cold and irresistible sweetness.

I swallowed, handing him his spoon before kissing his hair. Jackson gazed up at me and I turned away, pretending to peer over at the clock. "Do you remember the man from Auntie Rose's party?" I murmured, petting his hair. "The one who sat with you?"

Jackson became pensive, his lips pressing together in thought, his shimmery emerald eyes tapering. Then he gasped, "Whitlock! Mr. Whitlock!"

My lips fidgeted on my face, Jackson's chocolate smudged mouth forming a wide smile. "Yes, he's coming for a while, so you need to get cleaned up." Jackson held his arms out to me and I swept him off the chair, carrying him up the stairs.

Jackson went for his pyjamas while I warmed water for the bathtub. Curls of white vapour rolled off the water, I took up one of the expensive bottles of bath soap, squirting three sweetly scented spurts into the water and watching as clear bubbles formed beneath the faucet.

Jackson set his pyjama's on the floor, disrobing quickly and sinking into the warm water. I sat on the toilet lid, fascinated by him as he wiped bubbles onto his chin and pretended to be Santa. I waited until he was settled, cleaning be soft skin between his toes when I said, "One times One?"

He gazed over at me and rolled his eyes, "One." He sighed, then whimpered, "Mommy, why do we do math?" Jackson dunked his foot under the water for an eighth time, lifting it out to scrub at his ankle.

I smiled, slouching over my knees and resting my chin between my palms. "I don't know sweetie," Jackson made a face at me, and then fell back in the tub, splashing in the water and jumping back up again.

"Two times two?" I pressed, Jackson gasped turning his head from side to side, I squealed leaning out of the way of the water flaying from his black hair.

"Four!" He shouted, dropping his face into in the water and bumbling his lips until new bubbles made themselves known. He came up giggling, it was such a perfect, gorgeous sound that I couldn't hide my grin.

"Two times three?" I continued, while Jackson scrubbed at his arms and legs, splish-splashing around in the tub. He groaned, water dribbling down his face from his hair.

He whined, "Six." I drilled Jackson until he was towelled off, wriggling into his Batman and Robin pyjamas. I let him brush his teeth and lean over one of the sinks on his stool, baring his teeth into one of the oval mirrors.

"Shiny?" I asked, leaning on the bathroom doorframe. Jackie nodded hopping off his stool and bolting by me for the refuge of his bedroom. As he lay down I tucked him in, sitting on the edge of his bed, tenderly sweeping my hand over his hair.

"Love you mommy." He yawned, closing his green eyes and curling into a tight ball. I smiled, I lived everyday waiting for him to say that. Those simple three words, spoken every day all over the world, meant nothing to me until Jackie was saying them to me.

Kissing his hair, I watched as he shrunk into a heavy sleep. Jackson's long, low breaths and quiet mumbling moans were the only indication of his liveliness. Brushing my fingers over his hair one last time I made my way across the room, switching on Jackie's nightlight and creeping out the door.

I walked back into the bathroom, cleaning up the water that had spilled out from the tub. I pulled the teal shower curtain closed, mopping up the toothpaste Jackson had dribbled in his sink, tossing out the tissue I'd used.

When I retreated to my room, I speedily switched clothes, hopping across the hall to my closet. Blue dress? Too formal. Sweat pants? Not formal enough. I settled on a comfortable pair of light blue Prada jeans and a loose lavender t-shirt.

Savaging my hair, I smiled at the chaotic disarray, combing on a layer of mascara before dancing downstairs. I tried to tap into a different Alice, one that I realized, had been dead for two years.

She wasn't there anymore. The Alice that practically sprinted to the door when there was a knock, the Alice who jumped into the arms of the person on the other side of that waited. She no longer existed.

When there was a buzz, I went to the small intercom to the left off the door. "Hey." I said, finding myself with a smile on my face. There was static all through the front hall, Jasper's voice making my heart stumble. "C'mon up." I clicked the button that would unlock the door in the lobby and told him what floor I was on.

My heart raced, I felt utterly ridiculous darting around the living room, collecting multiplication cards and teeny, plastic soldiers. When the bell on my door rang I hurried to pack away everything, trouncing into the front hall, snatching the door open.

Jasper loomed over me, "Miss Cullen." He nodded and I had to clench my teeth to keep my jaw from dropping. Extending my arms I filled the doorway, Jasper looking curious.

"Ugh!" I growled, "The moment you step in this door I'm just _Alice_." I grinned up at him, stepping aside so Jasper could walk in. My heart thundered and I feared he would hear it, after locking the front door again Jasper and I lounged in the living room.

He told me about growing up in the south, and I laughed at the stories he told me about Rosalie. Jasper claimed to have been close to her growing up, because Rosalie often came to his home on weekends. He said she'd been a nightmare when she could fully understand what had happened to her parent's relationship. That the only reason Jasper even walked this earth was because their Father cheated on her Mother two years before Rosalie had been born.

There was something about the way he talked about his home that was beautiful to me. Jasper's eyes lit up and I grinned, his masked impatience to return to the place he'd grown up called out to me.

"She was a bit of a princess." Jasper chuckled, I'd been waiting for this from the moment Jasper told me he and his Mother had lived on a farm. I couldn't imagine glamorous, elegant Rosalie trooping through fields to bail hay. Apparently neither could Jasper. "I had to do more chores because our Father wanted to spend time with her. Rosalie never came off the porch when she was at our house, she wouldn't even feed the dogs!"

Jasper and I laughed, it made my stomach clench to hear our voices together. He looked at me, blue eyes narrowed, a blond tress curving on his cheek, and smiled genuinely. It made my heart stop.

"Um," He shook his head, gaze drifting from mine. I was thankful for whatever distracted him, it allowed me the chance to breathe. Jasper looked so odd sitting just a few feet from me on the couch, right arm spread over the back. I felt small in front of him, diminutive. Having Jasper there made me feel safe.

Taking in a deep breath I started with, "That sounds like her." I nodded slowly, giggling at the thought of Rosalie on a ranch, glaring at the endless sea of fields and hoards of animals. "So what happened with you two?"

Jasper pressed his lips together, peering up at me carefully as if wondering if he could trust me. I wanted him to. I desperately wanted him to. When he opened his mouth to speak, I realized just how tense I'd become on the couch and had to scuttle on the couch to unravel myself.

He shrugged, "We got older, Rose got meaner." Jasper snickered, lips twitching gently, his accent making me sigh. "And I enlisted, which sort of made life in our house unbearable."

I gaped at him, "You enlisted?" Jasper looked at me fiercely, similar to the way Rosalie did. His blue eyes softened, he sighed and nodded slowly. "As in..." My heart hammered, "As in _war_?"

Another nod. I gasped, just the thought of someone..._shooting_ at him, trying to _kill_ him made me sick to my stomach. I underestimated the horror on my face because he slipped closer to me on the couch. "Oh my God!" I breathed, "Why would you do that?"

Jasper tilted his head a fraction and shrugged, "It was the way I was raised." He said this as if he hoped the words would convince me he hadn't done something utterly moronic. "It seemed..._natural_. I wanted to go and fight and be there for my country. Friend's I'd known as a child were going and I wanted to be there to protect them."

I shook my head, not wanting him to go on, the way he looked at me proved he sensed what I was feeling. "Actually," He grinned ruefully. "I just got back little more than a few months ago-" Jasper flinched at my gasp "-there was an accident and..."

Accident? I searched Jasper's face and neck but could find nothing that indicated an injury. When he began to talk again I heard the reluctance in his voice, watching as the pain unfurled over his expression.

"I um, scaled the ranks all without having seen any real action, and was being titled Major Whitlock before I even knew what it meant. My unit and I had just returned to our base when the mortars hit." Jasper's eyes became distant, I saw the events as they passed through his eyes and was unable to breathe a word.

"Todd and Sean Jacobs' – the friends I'd enlisted with – were part of my unit. We'd just gotten out of our truck when we got slammed, the first hit threw me back and into the hood of another truck." Jasper took a long, shuddering breath.

I could feel tears coming to my eyes when he started again. "Todd was killed instantly, Sean was alive but his leg...was pinned under our vehicle after it flipped. My hearing was shot by then, and I can't really remember what happened after, just that I'd tried to get to him. Um, I don't know what I would have done – I couldn't lift the truck off of him – but I tried. The second time we got hit I was thrown back and now I'm here. I don't know what happened between the time I got on the plane home and when our base was struck."

I reached out to run my fingers over the square of his jaw. "I'm so sorry Jasper," I couldn't begin to express just _how_ sorry I was, though I hoped that maybe he would see it in my eyes. He leaned into my palm, his hand rising to clap over mine and capture it where it was on his skin. "So can you...do you know what I'm saying?"

Jasper nodded, "For the first few weeks I couldn't hear a thing, they sent me home for being useless, and it killed me. I couldn't hear but I could still fight – I should be out there _right now_." His voice kept the same lazy drawl but something in his words steeled, the outrage I heard made me recoil slightly.

I waited for him to calm down, and when he did he told me the rest of what he had to say. "I dislocated my shoulder when I was knocked back the first time, I'm assuming it was the adrenaline that kept me going. The second time?" Jasper shook his head, "I broke three ribs, broke my left leg. I'm still waiting for all my hearing to return. Then again, I shouldn't complain, I'm one of the lucky ones."

I didn't want to think of him out there. Killing people, losing more friends. Some part of me prayed his hearing would never come back. Jasper squeezed my hand, his rough palm scraping against my skin. Farmer's hands. I smiled up at him, finding it unbelievably difficult to imagine this beautiful, sweet, charming man going through all that he had.

When he slipped away from me completely I felt this odd zing of disappointment, much like what I'd felt earlier. "When the truck exploded-" He started to pull his shirt over his head and my heart and stomach collided in a way that made me nauseous. "-I was so close that whatever remained of it flew back with me."

In an abrupt state of awe, I rose to my feet, putting my hand out to touch one of what looked like a thousand scars. They were scattered all over his chest, his stomach, his arms, they'd been hidden from me before. My hands had never looked smaller then when I put them on Jasper's chest. A shiver that seemed to originate from us both, tore through my shoulder and arms until, like an electric current, it found Jasper's skin.

They were long and rumpled and shiny, I wanted to touch them all, as if my sheer willpower alone would make them disappear. I counted twenty, before becoming distracted by the random soft patches on his chest, the few places that weren't marred by scars.

Beneath the awful battle wounds, there was latent muscle that made me blush. Control yourself, Alice. I told myself, forcing my hands from his body to knit my fingers together, I didn't think that I would be able to stop if I didn't keep my hands together.

Jasper sighed, when I looked up I realized he'd just opened his eyes. My lips twitched, I liked that I could do that to him. "Your turn." He smiled, bringing his shirt back over his head, I gave him a questioning glance. "I want to know the Alice Cullen story."

I snorted, my face heated anyways. "No you don't, it's nothing compared to what you've told me, I'd probably put you to sleep." Jasper laughed outright at this, I motioned of him to follow me into the kitchen.

In search of something to drink, I was suddenly glad to be one of the girls who enjoyed the finer things in life. That and, whenever Rosalie came over she insisted on drinking nothing but wine. I took the bottle out of the fridge, examining the label as if I knew wine like Rosalie did then set it on the countertop. Bringing out two fine crystal glasses, I fought with the cork until it succumbed to my wishes, Jasper muffling a laugh behind me.

When I turned round I almost dropped both goblets, which would have destroyed one of favourite pairs of designer jeans. Jasper moved as if to catch me, but I closed my eyes tight and tried to remember any kind of breathing technique from yoga, I could.

"Don't sit there." I whispered, opening my eyes to face Jasper again. My throat clenched and my voice shook with the threat of tears. "Just...anywhere but there, please."

Jasper froze, his expression horrified, he moved mechanically from Tristan's chair at the dining table to cross the floor to where I stood. He took the glasses from my trembling fingers, I heard the quiet clinking as he set them on the counter again. I covered my mouth with my hands, as if that would silence the sobs, Jasper wrapped his arms around me.

For a moment I sunk into the warmth, the compassion I found in Jaspers arms. I wanted to stay here forever, he was just so..._safe_. "I didn't...I'm sorry...that was _his_ chair wasn't it?" When I nodded into the curve of his chest Jasper swore. "Rosalie told me. I'm so sorry Miss Alice, I should've known."

I laughed humourlessly into Jasper's snug blue-grey sweater. "I told you not to call me that." My voice cracked, though I clung to the hope I found in his low chuckle. God Alice, you're a mess, I said to myself. Shaking off the ruthless pain and haunting memories.

Jasper cleared his throat, taking a step away from me, his calloused fingers slipping under my chin to tilt my head back. "I'm sorry." Jasper murmured, "For everything, I didn't mean to upset you."

The hard pad of his fingertips on my skin. It was a spectacular distraction, when I gazed up at him again, I honestly thought about yanking him down to my level if only for a moment. Just enough that I could kiss him.

Rosalie's voice staggered me, a chilling growl in the back of my mind: _"Alice, you don't know him." _Sucking in a deep, grounding breath I shook my head again, wanting her cautions to leave me alone.

Was it wrong if I happened to fall? Was there no way I could just release again? Part of me wanted to melt into Jasper's charming drawl, his unfamiliar embrace, the promise of safety in his arms. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I smiled up at him, wishing I could feel as if I was smiling at Andrew, or Scott or even Roberto. Jasper wasn't them, I couldn't draw the line that would keep him from me, like I had for any man who'd approached me in the past two years.

He couldn't be a simple piece in an endless game. I didn't want him to be. "You wanted my story," I mumbled, speaking less to his eyes and more to the wall behind him. "Well, I grew up here in Forks with my brothers, my Father's a doctor and my Mother's an interior designer. I went to the local high school, thought I was in love with my first crush-"

Jasper tilted his head, as if he knew I wasn't speaking to him, his eyes sought mine then. "You don't have to tell me Alice." I grinned at his worried blue eyes, as if he was feeling everything I felt. The regret, the idiocy, the _hurt_.

"But I do." I smiled, pressing my chin into his fingers. "He proposed once we graduated and during my first year of university I got pregnant. You'd think that would make education difficult, but with Tristan everything was just so _easy_. I finished my program, top of my class, and with the help of that beautiful little boy I somehow got to where I am." I forced myself to wink. "Cullen's don't give up."

Jasper leaned down, the way he did it – so dissimilar from everyone else – made me feel tinier. I gripped the soft fabric of his shirt, obviously a name brand, and sighed into his kiss.


	6. On the Town

Sorry I took so long to update, I've been woeking on about twenty million different things. R&R as let me know what ya think.

~Selene

* * *

"I'm sorry Miss Alice, that was completely uncalled for I didn't mean..." Jasper's voice had fallen away from my attention at that point, leaving behind a dull murmur that rung in my ears. My whole body shook at the thought of his mouth on mine, I giggled, suddenly feeling a little of the old Alice jolting to life again.

Is it appropriate to say someone is delicious? Of course not, so I kept that thought to myself. Pressing my lips together in a firm line, I hoped that by doing so I could keep that searing, enchanting spark Jasper's lips had made on mine a little longer.

"...Please forgive me, I'd never do such a thing, it will never happen again-" My laughter made Jasper's anxious pleas shut off almost immediately.

"You're apologizing for kissing me?" I snickered, peering up at him with a highly uncontrolled humour. Jasper's face fell slightly, his cheeks warming to a bright pink hue.

Jasper stammered, "It-it was out of-of context." He shook his head. "Disrespectful. I didn't ask." This just made me laugh harder, I had to hold my hand over my mouth, worried Jackson would hear.

Without thinking, I sputtered, "You don't have to ask to kiss me." Then I blushed, making my tongue still behind my lips. Oh, Alice, you and your big mouth, I said to myself squeezing my eyes shut tightly. "I'm sorry," I whispered, peeking up at him after a minute. "_That_ was out of context."

Jasper chuckled quietly, nodding in agreement. "I thank you though." He stated, bringing his fingers through my hair, something Tristan never did. Nobody touches my hair, well, unless you no longer wish to keep that hand. Jasper was an exception, "I'd like to see you again." If these were his goodbye words, I could learn to love them.

I walked him to the door, opening it wide for him before gradually closing it and locking up again. My heart thudded wildly, in a silent fit of my own I danced in the front hall, squealing as loud as I dared.

After cleaning up, washing my face and changing into some shorts and a slinky t-shirt, I resisted the urge to call Bella – at least until the morning – and headed to bed. I slept soundly, like I had never slept before, it was the most amazing sleep I had ever had.

I awoke to something crawling on my legs, my heart leapt into my throat and I jerked upwards, choking. Jackson gasped, perfectly still on the foot of my bed, I laughed. "Jackie, even though you're frozen, I'm still seeing you."

He groaned, flopping onto my legs. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, peering over at the clock beside my bed. Only 9:30am. I tousled Jackson's hair, watching as he rolled over and wiggled into the sheets beside me. "Mommy," He began, bringing the thick rosy duvet to his chin. "I have to tell you something."

A million different things when through my mind. Worst case scenario he wet the bed again, that could be handled with a quick trip to the drycleaners. Situation diffused. Looking down at him now though, quickly told me he hadn't, the last time he had an 'incident' he'd been so embarrassed he cried.

"Oh?" I nodded, laying back down and combing my hair back to watch his changing expressions. Jackson bit his lip – something he'd evidently picked up from Bella – and peeked up at me nervously.

He tucked his hands behind his head, a movement that was so like his Father that it nearly made me throw up. I positioned myself so Jackson would have to move in order to speak to me, which he did. How pathetic is that?

"Can we get a puppy?" Jackson finally blurted, the hope in his eyes made my heart soar. Such a look made me want to say yes and take him to get a puppy right now. But I couldn't, puppies liked to chew things and I had a lot of _very_ expensive shoes that I very much liked intact.

How could I say no? I didn't want to, but for the sake of all that I cherished in my closet there was no way in hell, an animal was coming in my house. "Jackie baby, a puppy is a lot of work." I shook my head, "They're a lot of responsibility."

The look on his face expressed his defeat, it killed me to see him such a way. I felt like the horrid parent Mrs. Reid claimed I was, the memory made me furious. Then again, had she been right?

Jackson's bottomless green eyes welled with tears, his lips quivering and he began to wipe at his nose. "Okay." He blubbered, "No puppies." I fought myself to stay strong.

I was right, puppies required a serious amount of exercise and space, that which our apartment couldn't provide. They also needed a lot of attention. Attention I'd already forked over to just about every other person in my life. That made me happy, doing everything I could for those I loved. I could feel myself caving the more Jackie struggled with his tears.

"I didn't say _no_ puppies." I murmured, smiling widely as the hope reappeared on his face almost instantaneously. "Just-just...not right now, maybe in a year or two, then I promise we can get a puppy. A _little_ one – I mean one I could fit in my purse!"

Jackson giggled and shook his head frantically, black hairs bouncing on his face. "Eww! No!" He clapped his hands over his face, proving just how bad of an idea my small dog was.

Ugh, he was right, I would never put something that pooped and peed in any of my purses. Now, if I bought one specifically for a puppy...oh! Maybe a turquoise one, Versace maybe, or Marc Jacobs. But of course, it would have to have enough space for my furry companion _and_ my wallet.

He nodded in agreement, gasping suddenly and looking up to me. "Did Mr. Jasper come here?" I blushed at his question and nodded, my lips tingling. Jackson sat up, peering suspiciously around my bedroom. "Well, where'd he go?"

Jackson even lifted his hands in confusion, as if he was questioning my sanity. I laughed loudly, "He had to go home sweetie, I'm sure he's very busy." No, that was a lie, I wanted Jasper to be so un-busy he'd have to come over or die of boredom.

Jackie frowned, shaking his head slightly and putting his hands on his hips. "You should call him Mommy." He looked so serious, as if he was reprimanding me. I giggled, growling dramatically and jumping on him in a tickle frenzy, Jackson belted out a screaming laugh that resounded on my high ceiling.

"You call him!" I roared, scurrying my fingers over his sides and his stomach until he swore he would wet himself if I didn't stop. When I finally released him, Jackson was panting, scrubbing at his teary eyes. I grinned as he came down from his high, "Hungry?" We both nodded, "I'll meet you downstairs."

He sprung from the sheets, darting for the door and whipping out into the hallway. As I got up to brush my teeth I could hear him pounding down the stairs, I had a fast shower, changing into some comfortably respectable clothing before dancing down to the kitchen.

Jackie sat at the table, attempting to put his tongue to his nose, his eyes crossed eagerly while he grunted. Shaking my head at him, I brought out the pancake mix and the package of strawberries. Our kitchen was filled with the scent of dough and the clatter of dishes and utensils. Before long I stacked two small pancakes down on Jackson's plate, then two for myself.

He was telling me about finger-painting and how his kickball game was cancelled because it rained. When was it not raining in Forks? I listened diligently, asking about Valeria and watching Jackson's face warm at the very mention of her name. I teased and he howled his protests, shouting that he didn't like her, or her red hair, or her green eyes, or how her favourite colour was his favourite colour.

Jackson headed up to his room to get his toys while I packed the dishwasher. The phone rang. For a fleeting second chills tumbled down from the crown of my head to my toes. Stumbling to reach it in time, I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers, twirling when I heard Jasper's voice.

"It's too soon to call you, I'm sure," He started, I shoved the rest of the dishes in the washer, filled it with soap and started it up before making my way to the living room. "You'll have to forgive me for that. I couldn't help myself."

My face flushed, fingers coming to my mouth. "It's fine." I murmured around my palm. "I wanted to talk to you anyways." Jasper chuckled proceeding to ask me the most trivial things. What company did I work for? What is my favourite colour? My favourite snack?

Why Victoria's Secret? This question I jokingly replied to with, "I like being able to go into work half naked." To this answer he responded with a gulp, before bombarding me with a series of other questions.

Jackson bombed back into the living room, staring at me curiously, I opened my lap to him and welcomed Jackson into my embrace. He snuggled closely to me, his hair smelling of my shampoo, his skin soft and creamy from last night's bath.

I twisted my fingers tenderly through Jackson's hair. His soft breaths came in time with mine, I could feel his heart through his back the sound was soothing. Jackson dozed in my arms briefly, shaking loose of the drowsiness to leap from my arms and steer around the vast room like a race car. His imagination was endless, I admired him every second for it.

As I lay down on my back, head up on the cushions, Jasper spoke to me for an hour, which easily became three. "I want to take you out Miss Cullen," He was saying suddenly, his accent making my heart stutter. "In an honest way, to dinner if you'll have me."

Oh, I'll have you. My face heated quickly, who talked the way he did? Rosalie was right, Jasper is very, _very_ smooth. Rolling my eyes, I paused longer than was needed, bordering the lines of being rude then sighed heavily. "I'd have to check my schedule-" Jasper chuckled "-But I can see what I can do. When did you have in mind?"

He returned the pause and the wait almost made me whimper. "Thursday, that should give you plenty of time to, um, go over your _schedule_." There was a smug smirk secreted within Jasper's lazy words. He's good, I thought, tactical.

Shrugging nonchalantly I muttered under my breath, "We'll see." I bit my lip, grinning when I heard his laughter again. Oh, God, just his voice made me melt into a messy puddle on the couch.

"We'll see." He agreed, "Good day Miss Cullen." I sighed, saying nothing until the dial tone came, it was then hearing those irritating beeps that I screamed. Jackson paused to gawk at me, his shock lasted for only an instant before he was ripping around the room again. Speedily I called Bella, she was number two on my speed dial, my parent's claiming number one.

As soon as she picked up I squealed, "Oh my God Bells, he's amazing! He came over last night and-"

"Stop right there!" Edward growled, "Who came over last night? Did he touch you? Who is he? Alice!" I winced, holding my breath – maybe he would think I hung up. I heard Bella laughing in the background, her gentle voice pleading. Edward swore quietly.

"Hey Alice, sorry about that, Edward's really fast when he wants to be." Bella mumbled shyly, slightly breathless. Did I even want to know why she sounded this way? Shaking my head furiously I smiled into the receiver. My whole body shook with shivers when I thought of Jasper, the warmth of his soft lips, the sensation of his fingers through my hair.

"I think I'm going to marry this man." I spoke firmly, giggling when I heard her anxious gasp, before Bella could launch into her speech as to why marriage was worse than boiling puppies, I rescued her. "I'm joking Bella, sheesh, grow a humour for me please-" Bella scoffed "-he kissed me Bells!"

Oh lord, I felt fifteen again. Since when did I ever call Bella about things such as this? She probably thought I was being completely stupid – but I couldn't hold it in! Besides, I didn't want to explain the concept of kissing with Jackie for at least another ten years. That, and Rosalie would faster strangle me than listen to me blather about her brother.

"It was the most amazing feeling!" I slumped down into the soft of the couch pillows, squeezing my eyes shut. Bella laughed, I could just imagine her expression. After all, the only thing she could possibly compare my experience to was Edward – and I did _not_ want to know what she did with my favourite brother.

Ugh, I miss Rose. She and I had kissed the same boy once, at different times of course, but Rosalie had had many other boyfriends before she found Emmett. They met when we were camping and the moron tried to show off, ending up being chased by a bear. Emmett was lucky to get to Rosalie's tent in time – and that she let him in!

"I'm happy for you Alice." What I loved about Bella was that she was always honest, not that she was even the teeniest bit of a good liar. She listened to me, even if it was to hear me describe a new pair of shoes. "You need a good guy in your life, ya know, Jasper should come to the beach with us. Emmett was talking to Edward about another trip."

I stifled a snicker, "Bella, darling, remember the last time Emmett planned a trip to the beach? It ended up pouring rain and we had to sit in the Volvo for four hours." Bella laughed quietly, the memory made me angry. I'd found the perfect bathing suit just to sit in Edward's car until the storm passed. Rose nearly murdered Emmett right then and there.

For a moment, I wanted to tell Bella about Jasper's scars, how he had lost his friends. But it felt like a gift he had given me, one I did not want to share. "So Rose and I were going to the movies tomorrow, come with us." I murmured, changing the subject off of Jasper reluctantly.

Bella giggled, something that was so unlike her it made me tense. "Sure, that sounds good," She answered, a half-hearted response. "Just tell me when and I'll – Edward don't! – I'll try to meet you there."

My nose scrunched, stomach clenching. Pinching the bridge of my nose I muttered, "Bad time?" I could almost see Bella biting her lip flawlessly in my mind. She laughed again, Edward's voice in the background.

"Kinda." She admitted, sounding rushed and timid. "I'll stop by later-" I could have sworn Edward said something along the lines of _no you won't_ in the distance "-you can tell me everything."

I nodded against the phone, "Sure thing. Talk to you then." And I quickly hung up. I wanted that, I realized, I wanted it badly. I wasn't jealous, I never have been that kind of person, it would just be nice to have someone to keep me off the phone. As silly as that may sound.

Leaving the living room, I collided with Jackson, who hugged me desperately and apologized. "Bella's coming?" He asked, eyes alive with anticipation, I nodded and laughed. Jackie stared up at me seriously, "I love her ya know, Mommy, I really do."

I just shook my head, kneeling down to cup his face in my hands. "You don't lover her more than me I hope, that could end up in an awful triangle. Of course, Edward would have to get involved so it would be more of a square and-"

Jackson threw his arms up, "Maybe I don't love her so much." He shook his head in my palms, pressing his lips into a taut line. I smiled, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. "Mom, I'm supposed to be at school right now, did you know that?"

"Yeah, baby, I know." The thought of Mrs. Reid made me furious and embarrassed, I suppose Carlisle hadn't found out. My Father would be outraged that I'd spoken to someone in such a manner. "You're not going today, remember?"

Jackson's mouth formed a large O before he said, "Yes." His eyes lit up once again, his train of thought jumping onto another track. "I'm going to be a race car driver when I grow up."

My smile widened, what an imagination indeed. "Good, I like going fast." I released him to stand and step out of the way, Jackson buzzed his lips to imitate an engine, his arms extended as if he held a steering wheel. He jumped into a sprint, bolting around the room yet again.

I went to my office, leaving the door open a crack so I could hear Jackson. On my laptop I found ten new emails, seven of which were stupid chain letters sent from Eric, to Mike, to Jess, to Tyler all the way through Bella to me. I grit my teeth, deleting the spam to open a message sent from work.

However, when I saw who it was from, I regretted opening the message at all. Kourtney Costner. Clenching my teeth I read over the email carefully, looking between the lines as one would say. I muffled a groan.

Ali,

FYI we're moving the banquet to the eleventh, and holding it in one of the few finer parts of Seattle. Did I mention that you're planning it? I know it's short notice. Oops, guess it slipped my mind! See you next month.

K.

That's so like Kourtney. I'll never know what her issues with me are, I've been nothing but sunshine to her – even when I didn't want to be. Yet, she seemed to hold this kind of grudge against me, one that quickly festered into hate. I wasn't scared of Kourtney, on the contrary, I can be pretty damn terrifying when I want to be. It's just when she did things like this that made me want to yank her hair out.

Now, I could plan a party in a month. Book caterers, a band, decorations, rent a large, gaudy ballroom in a five star hotel. That was a piece of cake, nothing a little Alice Cullen magic couldn't handle. Though...a Victoria's Secret party? With special guests, with specific music, certain decor, an even larger, more ornate location? That could prove to be something of a challenge.

Not to mention Kourtney knew I had to balance Jackson in all this planning – and now Jasper – what is her problem?

I took a moment, breathing slowly, I called various people, different companies, booking entertainment and caterers, all the while sketching out new designs. All this amounted to a rather large head ache, and I was glad for the distraction Jackie presented when he came knocking on my door.

He looked at me sadly, "I'm hungry." I laughed at his shattered expression, shutting my sketch book and pushing back in my desk chair. Jackson smiled when I took his hand and lead him down the hall to the kitchen. We both had big bowls of Frosted Flakes cereal, I sat in the living room, attempting to watch Teletoon. Jackie seemed so absorbed with the cartoons, he hadn't even budged when I took our bowls and washed them.

I was reluctant to return to my office, I loved being busy, and I really do enjoy my work, it's just that all my efforts involved Kourtney now. This was a fact that did not please me.

By the time I was supposed to be making dinner, I'd phoned around to a few local caterers, then made a couple more long distant calls around in Seattle. I was clicking around a ritzy hotel website when Jackson shouted that someone was at the door.

Making some notes, leaving them where I would see them as soon as I returned to the office. I don't usually forget things, but I didn't want to take the risk of forgetting important names and companies, that I seriously needed.

Gazing into the peephole, I found Bella and Rosalie. Seeing them together, standing so close, seemed off to me. Rosalie so tall and glamorous, donned a sleek burgundy cocktail dress that made her lean legs seem even longer and her gold hair brighter.

Bella was even...well...she was as dolled up as Bella can be. What with her long hair half-up-half-down, she wore a tight fitting pair of jeans and, the navy blue blouse that I'd bought her ages ago.

What the heck?

I opened the door, Jackson scrambling by me to lunge at Bella. She gasped, staggering backwards as he knotted himself around her legs. Rosalie snorted, pacing by me to head right for the kitchen, Bella glanced at me and blushed.

"Hey Jack," She smiled, "I think you'll have to um, let me go so I can come in." Bella tried hard, she really did, but she didn't really have that gift for children. Not that I expected her and Edward to be having any, it was just that she had no idea what to do with Jackson – and all his inherited energy.

He released her to climb up to his feet, hand outstretched for hers. Bella bit her lip, gently taking his hand while I held the door for them. "Hey Alice." She murmured, big brown eyes warm and wide.

When the three of us came to the kitchen, Jackson explaining in detail all that he had done today, as if Bella should be taking notes Rose had already poured herself a tall glass of my wine.

I cocked a brow at her, smoothly running her middle finger around the rim before lifting the goblet to her mouth. This was something I'd seen Emmett do a million times, but never understood why.

"How come you're all dressed up?" I tilted my head slightly, black hairs tumbling onto my cheek. Rosalie took another sip before eyeing Bella, who grimaced, sharply.

Confusion bolted through my body and I gasped when Rosalie murmured, "So Jasper kissed you?" She spoke more to the wine glass then to me, her expression heavily unimpressed, Jackson gasped then shouted a loud, "Ewwww!"

I felt my face warm, "Oh shush!" I grinned at him, "You don't even know what kissing is." Jackson gawked at me, his jaw falling clean to the floor.

"Do to!" I growled up at me, puckered his lips and made a noisy smooching sound, running to the living room before I could nab him. I peered up at Bella who had drawn her shoulders in and was staring down at the floor, pressing herself against my kitchen wall.

"I didn't mean to." She mumbled when I gave her a questioning glance. I knew this was true. Bella had probably mentioned something by accident at Edward's, and since he shared an apartment with Emmett, it was no doubt Rosalie had been told something. I just wished my brothers didn't have to be so close all the time.

I smirked at Rosalie, the haughtiest smirk I could muster. "Yup, he did, and it was the best kiss I've ever had." I narrowed my eyes at her, "All tongue and groping and-"

Rosalie clapped her hands over her ears and swore. I hit her shoulder lightly, I didn't want Jackson picking up on any of that, Emmett was bad enough. Shaking my head I giggled, "Relax, it was nothing, and he apologized afterwards."

She rolled her eyes melodramatically, bringing her fingers smoothly through her hair. "So tell me, why are you all glamorized?" I said this with a grin, taking two more of the crystal goblets down and pouring Bella and I the last of my red wine.

"We're going out tonight." Bella whimpered, looking to me hopefully, expecting me to say something that would keep her from having to go anywhere with Rosalie. "Some big place in Port Angeles." She shrugged.

Rosalie grunted, glaring at her as if Bella should just duct tape her mouth shut. I leaned on the table, placing myself between them as best I could. "It's a _club_." Rose snapped, "We're _all_ going."

Clenching my teeth I shook my head, taking the teeniest sip from my glass, holding the slender goblet between my palms. "I can't, I have to plan for a party coming up soon, and Jackie-"

"Has already been taken care of." Rosalie's blue eyes tapered, jaw flexing, she rolled her shoulders under the long waves of her blonde tresses. "Emmett called your parents, Carlisle's already on his way to take him for the night."

I opened my mouth to protest, they had no right to do this! Damn it Emmett if I ever get my hands on him, I swear I'll just–

"Jasper's coming!" Bella blurted, hands coming over her mouth, eyes shooting over to Rosalie, whose expression must have been as shocked as my own.

Bella's face began to glow a bright shade of red as she cleared her throat, "We...I...E-E-Edward knew you wouldn't come so...he pulled some strings and got Emmett to do some sneaking around..." Her voice faded and Bella quickly said, "I'm sorry! I told him not to!"

Two nights in a row? He's going to get sick of me faster than I got sick of the blue pumps I bought two weeks ago. "Isabella Swan-" the three of us yelped when my fine crystal shattered in Rosalie's fist. "_Perfect_."

I rushed to get Rosalie a towel and band aids while Jackson whizzed by me to see what had happened. You wouldn't believe how many times I had to get out the first aid kit for Jackson. He was always running here, flipping over this, diving over that – the boy never learned!

"All I've got is Spiderman," I whispered, entering the kitchen again while Bella dabbed up the spilled wine with two handfuls of paper towel. Rosalie cringed at me, her expression openly displaying her displeasure. "Sorry." I held off a smile as she held her hand out to me, I cleaned the teeny wounds with antiseptic and taped on three band aids.

Jackson gasped, tugging at my pants. "Mommy, those are mine!" He yipped it like I was doing some terribly awful deed. Letting go of Rose's hand I tousled Jackie's dark hair.

"Is it okay if Auntie Rosalie uses them, we can always get new ones." I responded softly, watching his expressions change but never gazing directly into his eyes. Jackson heaved a great sigh and nodded, Bella and I laughed.

After I'd pacified Rose's hand, put the TV on for Jackie, dealt with the broken glass, snapped shut the first aid kit and shut it away where five-year-olds couldn't reach it, I sighed. "Seriously, I can't go. I have so much to do and Jasper..." I took a deep breath, "Well he's just going to be disappointed, Jackson comes first."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Don't give me that Alice," She slipped off her chair, towering over me the way Rosalie does. "When's the last time you've been with a relatively good guy?" When I opened my mouth to list them, Rose kept going. "One that will tolerate that..._thing_-" She glared at her bandaged hand "-Come on, I guarantee you Bella has had more action in a week, than you've had in over a year."

Both Bella and I winced. I was suddenly grateful Edward was dedicated to the idea of saving himself for marriage. However utterly embarrassing that may be, my ego would need a band aid if my little Bells was going around the block faster than I was.

I groaned, leave it to Rosalie to stab me in the weak points. "That isn't everything," I argued, "I've had boyfriends who liked Jackson." I didn't go on to say that Jackson himself had not been fond of these men, which is why my relationships with them did not excel past date one.

Rose set her hands on her hips, blonde hair curving over her smooth shoulders. "Alice, you're irritating me, go change." To emphasise there was another series of knocks at the door, these much more fanatic and loud.

Bella shuffled off to answer it, and I swallowed every lurid word I could think of, rising on my toes to stand almost as tall as Rosalie. "I have a party to plan for, I don't have time for this – it's my _job_ Rose."

"Which is why you need to cut down and have a night out." She insisted, stomping her high heeled foot, very fashionable shoes I might add, if I wasn't angry with her I may have asked where she'd bought them. "I swear Alice, if you ever want to see my brother outside of a body bag, you'll come."

I laughed, tensing up when I heard Emmett's booming voice fill the front hall, followed by Edward's and Jackson's. I think I need some air. Pinching the bridge of my nose I slouched, cursing under my breath – something I hardly ever do – and nodded. "Not for long, and I won't be drinking. Not. One. Sip."

Rosalie snorted, pivoting slightly to collect my wine glass, she shook it in my face the scarlet contents splashing around. "Oh?" Rose was smug, I could feel it smothering me.

"Hey, Tiny, coming to party with the big people? Think you can handle it?" Emmett asked, his gigantic figure thumping through my kitchen, his thick arms coming around Rosalie's waist.

I turned away, I hated when Emmett did that, got up close and personal with Rose right in front of me. He only did it to make me feel even more single than I already was. Ugh...I seriously can't do this right now!

As I headed for the stairs, I could hear Jackson quizzing Edward on multiplication in the living room. In my bathroom I brushed on mascara and a light coat of lip gloss. Then I hurried around my closet, yanking on a snug black sequined dress that came just above my knee, setting a cute bright pink headband just behind my bangs. Slipping into a pair of pink peep-toe heels, I pivoted in front of my mirror, pausing when I saw Jackie lean on the doorframe.

This was such a simple action, one that would go totally unnoticed by any other person. I struggled to breathe, closing my eyes tightly, I counted to ten then open my eyes and face my son again. Only now did I fully grasp that I had a mini Tristan growing up in my house, one that hid behind my personality, but nevertheless existed.

"You're pretty Mommy." Jackson smiled.

In my head I heard: _"Come to bed Alice," _in the too-smooth bass that was Tristan Michael's voice. He would smile a horrifically perfect smile, one that wore braces for two years before reaching it's full potential.

Clearing my throat I grinned at Jackson's reflection in my mirror. "Thank you sweetie." Pacing to the door I knelt to kiss Jackson's forehead, "I promise I won't be gone long, I'll be back before you know it."

He returned my smile, "Grandpa's here, he said I was sleeping over so I packed my bag." Jackson's smile widened even more if that was possible. "He said I could go to the hop-tall tomorrow."

"The hospital?" I gasped then pinched Jackson's nose, he squealed. "Nope, your nose isn't sick, maybe it's your belly..." I tickled his sides, Jackson pawing hysterically at my hands, trying to squirm away. "I guess not, hmm. I wonder what's wrong."

Jackson, now laying on the floor shouted, "I'm not sick! I'm not sick!" I gasped, throwing my hand over my mouth over-dramatically while he giggled.

"You're not?" I shook my head, "That's just what a sick person would say." I snatched him up off the hardwood, taking him back downstairs towards my Father's voice.

Carlisle held Rosalie's hand, grinning at the ring on her finger, one that held a diamond half the size of my head. Emmett was never one who could limit himself, and when it came to Rose, I was pretty sure he would go to school to become an astronaut and bring her moon if she asked for it.

"Dad," I said, "I think he needs to go into intensive care, he's too sick to admit he has an illness." It took a moment for Jackson to grasp what I was saying and he was writhing in my arms by the time we made it around the dining room table.

Carlisle turned from Rose to Jackson and I, putting on the serious face he used when he spoke to a patient. "No!" Jackie howled, "I'm not sick!" My Dad grinned widely, and it was then that I figured out why all the nurses hit on him, even Rose was momentarily dazzled by his smile.

And here I thought only Edward and I had the Dazzle Factor, so that's where we get it from. "Hmmm." Carlisle's eyes narrowed, "I think I can handle this case Alice." He held his arms out and Jackson lunged at him.

"I'll have him back by eight, that should give you all day." Dad's eyes became truly concerned, "I don't like this not going to school. And don't think I didn't hear about what occurred with Daisy the other day." I winced, throwing on my most innocent expression when Carlisle frowned at me. "We'll talk about that incident later Mary-Alice Cullen, as for now, I hope you all have a fun evening. Be safe."

I hate it when he does that, uses my full name, ugh! Rosalie snickered, I stuck my tongue out at her, striding out into the front hall. Dad was saying something to Emmett and Edward, his face riddled with solemnity.

"...I mean it...take care of Alice...don't let anything happen. I don't want either of you driving if you plan to be drinking." Carlisle never raised his voice, I couldn't think of an instant where he had been anything but a placid, perfect Dad to us.

Emmett rolled his eyes, Edward shook his head. "Please, Dad, I'm an _adult_ – nothing's going to happen. Besides, Alice's new boyfriends going to be there, we'll be fine." Emmett clapped our Father on the shoulder holding the door open.

Jackson collected his bag and slung it over his shoulder, taking Carlisle's hand and blowing me a kiss over his shoulder. My heart sunk, I can't stand sending him away. I know Jackson is just fine with Carlisle and Esme but...he's _my_ little boy.

"Bye baby," I whispered, the door closing behind my Father and Jackson. God, it hurt to see him leave. I grinned, he's going to leave an endless trail of broken hearts when he gets older.

Emmett clapped his hands together, "Okay, let's go people! _Let's go_!" Rose grabbed Emmett's keys from his hand, ignoring his pout as she lead him out into the hallway, Edward in tow. Bella waited for me to turn the lights out and lock up before we joined them.

"I'm really sorry about all this Alice." Bella sighed, brushing her hair back behind her ears, "I didn't think they'd ambush you." She blushed, scuffing her sneakers on the hall carpet.

I wanted to snap at her for wearing sneakers – eww! – but I held my tongue and reminded myself that this was Bella I was dealing with. "Yeah, usually we get _you_." I teased, winking at her as we jumped into the elevator.

Edward's hand sought Bella's in our group, I backed away to allow him room, watching their fingers tangle. Bella quietly apologized about having sweaty hands, though Edward just smiled.

Taking a deep breath, I pinned myself to the far elevator wall, feeling claustrophobic. Emmett had leaned down to whisper something in Rosalie's ear, through the shield of her hair. By the look of her expression, the way she clutched at the white thermal he wore, I figured it was something lurid that I would not want to know about.

I wanted the nights like this to end. Where we all went out as a group and _I_ was the wallflower – _me_ of all people! It's not like I don't think Rosalie and Em are absolutely adorable, and Edward and Bella are pretty much perfect for each other, it's just suffocating sometimes.

It was a relief to get out of the elevator. I drove in the Volvo with Edward and Bella, since Bells didn't drink she planned to take us home, though I'd be here for backup.

We listened to Clair de Lune all the way to the club in Port Angeles, the drive gave me time to think about Jackson. Did he pack extra underwear or his toothbrush? Better yet, did he pack his pyjamas?

Oh, this is going to be such a long night.


	7. Old Friends

Sorry I took so long to update, I was working on some other stuff :) but I got it all cleared up now so heeeere we goooo!

~Selene

* * *

Everything changed the minute I stepped out of the Volvo, straightened my dress and heard Emmett growl, "Who does he think he is, Rico Suave?" Biting my lip I stepped around the back of Edward's car and smiled at Jasper, across the lot from us.

He sat back against the trunk of a shiny black Mercedes – the one I'd seen from Rose's engagement party. Jasper wore a loose fitting, black pinstriped blouse that hid most of his scars, his hair neatly curving around his face. My heart launched into my throat and I actually had to think about walking so I wouldn't fall over.

"Miss Cu-" I glared at him, and Jasper corrected himself. "Miss _Alice_," He smirked an odd, crooked smile, his low voice carrying with it that unfamiliar accent.

I felt my face flush, "Too soon?" He looked at me curiously, then a wash of understanding took over his blue eyes, like he literally felt the stupidity radiating from of me.

"No," Jasper's voice was quiet, firm and I gladly took his hand when he offered it to me, leading us back towards my group. Now I saw Emmett puff up to his full, naturally terrifying bulkiness, he must have been some type of puffer fish in a past life. Edward's eyes narrowed, jaw flexing, I watched him roll his shoulders and descend right into protective older brother mode.

Jasper stifled a chuckle, "Brothers?" I peered up at him, grinning when he leaned unnecessarily close in order to hear me. Unintentionally I squeezed Jasper's hand, nodding slowly.

"Don't worry," I muttered, "Emmett will try to scare you and Edward will try to undermine you anyway he can." Shaking my head slightly, I watched as the challenge surfaced in Jasper's oceanic eyes. "They're both blockheads."

He nodded at both Edward and Emmett, smiling warmly at Bella as he shook her hand. Emmett snorted, making a very unimpressed expression before turning to take Rosalie to the doors.

With a quick flash of identification we got in, the volume of the music within the building made my ears pop, the flickering lights forcing me to squint. This whole place screamed Emmett. Yet Jasper seemed completely unfazed by these things, his fingers slipped from mine, then planted themselves on my back, smoothly guiding me through the crowds.

It was tense at first, I didn't know what I could say or do to make everyone warm up to Jasper. Bella seemed to be the only one making the slightest effort to speak to him. Edward glared at him every five seconds it seemed, and Emmett went out of his way to say something vulgar whenever he got the chance. Rose was, well, Rosalie made eye contact with Jasper, but the kind you'd expect to see from someone about to maim you brutally.

Jasper had gone to get us drinks when Bella approached me. She had been working very hard to stay near a wall at all times, anywhere that she could hide and claim to not have enough room to dance. Edward eventually saw through this ploy and dragged her out into the middle of the hoard to unite with Rosalie and Emmett.

"Where'd he go?" Bella panted, gripping my arm as if some kind of awful creature would soon swoop down and assault her. I pointed towards the bar, slouching on a stool, watching Jasper's back as he weaved through the people.

"Oh," Breathing in deeply Bella shook her head. "Why does he always look like he's in pain?" Bella's question was innocent enough, if only she knew just how much pain he was in.

I shrugged, tilting my head to take in her shimmery face and the hairs that stuck to her cheeks and neck. "This isn't really his scene, Jasper doesn't like big crowds of people." I answered, this was true, he'd told me so only five minutes ago.

Bella rasped a laugh, "Alice, you and your personality alone is a big crowd of people." I laughed with her, shaking my head, Edward's voice came from somewhere in the distance, indistinct but enough that Bella's face became stricken with horror. "You have to get me out of here! Edward keeps making me dance and I just _can't do it_! I already fell onto someone – seriously I'm going to hurt somebody!"

Giggling I jerked my arm away from her, pinpointing my brother's bronze disarray of hair in the mob and waving for him. Edward smirked, pushing through the groups.

"Alice!" Bella whined, "Do we need to go over the safety hazards of dancing? Bella plus dance floor times people equals utter mortification and lawsuit." She reached out for me hysterically when Edward seized her by the waist, hoisting Bella clean off the ground and carrying her back into the lights and voices and music.

"Well that was interesting." Jasper murmured, handing me a glass of water. I smiled up at him, he didn't look in pain to me, maybe a tad bit irritated but not totally in pain. He waited while I drank, and when I put the glass down Jasper said, "Now, will you dance with me?"

I laughed, "If you think you'll be able to keep pace." I shrugged nonchalantly, gently taking his arm, "Humour me." Jasper just shook his head at my comment.

Oh, he could keep my pace, _and_ he could keep me breathless. I liked being this close to Jasper, he was so different from everyone else, and it was because of this that I loved it so much. Because it was his unknown hands on my waist, on my arms, laced with my fingers–

A sudden noise pulled us apart, and I struggled to catch my breath again while figuring out what the heck I'd heard. I peeked up at Jasper, at his smug expression, at his smirk...

"Oh!" My whole face burned with a searing heat, I held my hands over my mouth. A moan? A _moan_! "Oh, I'm...so, so sorry!" I panted, wondering if anyone else had heard it, if Jasper had and he couldn't hear properly it must've been fairly loud and...I cannot believe I did that!

I'd never felt so small in my life. It was as if my legs were melting out from beneath me, followed by the rest of my body – I was becoming a sloppy puddle on the floor as the seconds passed!

Jasper's big hand grasped my chin, so I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. But the kiss never came. Opening one eye I frowned, "You don't need to ask me." Jasper didn't budge. Stupid Southern gentleman farm boy! "Fine! Yes, you can kiss me."

He leaned down, gently pressing his mouth to mine, the jolt made me grab at his shirt. I sighed, following the buttons of his blouse up to his shoulders, why did he have to be so dang tall? His arms came around me, bringing forth an entirely new brand of shiver, I swallowed the sound rising in my throat, not allowing myself to ruin this kiss.

I pressed my tongue to the glass smooth of his lip and grinned when he pulled me closer. Wait, Alice, you need to stop this right now! There's people here, all over the place! This is totally inappropriate and–

"Damn!"

Jasper drew away from me, the annoyance on his face speedily overcome by confusion. I waited for the rapture fade, turning around in a daze to be whipped by a wave of terror.

Greg Rodgers held his arms over his chest, short brown-blonde hair hanging about his eyebrows. His grey eyes narrowed while he shook his head. He pointed above me, obviously at Jasper. "New guy? Didn't take you for the kinda gal who went for blonds."

Gregory Rodgers. Tristan's best friend.

Jasper's arms were like big thick protective bars, his lips at my ear. "You know him?" I nodded slowly, oh yes, I know him. I squeezed his arms, hoping he'd be able to feel what I was, the abrupt change of Jasper's sweet drawl proved he had. "Really."

Greg went on, oblivious to our exchange of words. "This is interesting Alice, I haven't seen you for so long. How's Jackson? You two are all Tristan's talked about for the past, what? Two years?" Greg rubbed the back of his neck, eyeing me sharply. "He's not going to be too happy about the new BF."

This made Jasper snap. "I think you need to leave." His words made me flinch, I'd never heard that kind of..._snarl_ come from someone before. Well, maybe Rosalie. Rosalie who I would really like to have around right now.

Greg's brows arched, "Do you know who I am?" He shook off Jasper's remark, and I felt him shifting behind me, Jasper moving to put himself so in front of me ever so slightly. "You've always been attracted to the wrong guys, eh Ali?"

I grimaced, pressing my nails into Jasper's sleeve, the pressure made it easier to ignore Gregory. "You know, Trist-" Jasper cut in, Greg now looking genuinely offended.

"No, _you_ know, tell Tristan to stay away from Alice and Jackson." Jasper hissed, Greg shook his head furiously, taking a step towards us. Jasper pushed me back a fraction, my back grazing that of another person. "And if he has a problem with that, tell him Major Whitlock would _love_ to dance."

"Rodgers?" That was Edward's voice, it was sharp, angry. He shoved aside two other dancers, clenching his teeth and glaring at Greg. Emmett's burly body pressing right passed Edward.

"I hope you just came to say goodbye to my sister Gregory." Emmett snapped, "We wouldn't want to have another accident now would we?" Greg touched his jaw absentmindedly. Emmett had broken it a year ago, and he still bragged about it to this day.

Gregory nodded, "Just leaving." He looked at me with a gaze that could kill, disappearing into the mass. Emmett took a few minutes to de-puff, exhaling and smirking widely when he faced us, "I was kind of hoping he'd put up a bit of a struggle."

I leaned into Jasper's arm, still rigid. He touched my hair with his free hand, breathing slowly before responding to my brothers. Edward made a face, "_Major_ Whitlock?"

"Jasper's an army vet." Rose muttered, stepping out from the direction Emmett had come from, Bella behind her. Rose held a very elegant looking drink in her right hand, she looked absolutely untouched by the heat and music and lights, Rosalie didn't have a bead of sweat anywhere.

Emmett whistled long and low, folding his massive arms over equally massive his chest. Edward looked between us edgily, his guard still high in place, unlike our elder brother's. Rose's lips twitched, "Could you even hear a word he said?"

I gaped up at Jasper, who chuckled and shrugged, "Not at all." When he gazed down at me he erased my shock, there, on his face were the answers. _I knew you weren't safe, _his eyes told me, _I felt it._

"Well, that's a total buzz kill." Emmett moaned, his disappointment easily becoming a tangible force in the air about us. Rosalie smacked his arm, "What? I'm not the only one thinkin' it." Rose rolled her eyes, her fingers closing around the collar of Emmett's thermal, the two vanishing into the sway.

Bella gazed at me, the worry clear on her face. "You okay?" Her voice was kind, soft, barely a whimper over the music. I nodded, leaning into Jasper's arm. But I wasn't okay, all I could think about was Tristan...and how angry he could get.

Angry enough to hit our son for leaving his toys in the hallway...

Now I'd brought Jasper into it too, as if Jackson wasn't enough. I felt sick and tired and upset, then I was angry at my brothers, at Bella and, at Rose. "You never should have made me come!" I yelled, in that moment, I could have sworn I was louder than the music.

There was shock and hurt on both Bella and Edward's faces, and I left them before I could feel awful about causing it. Rosalie and Emmett had made it look so simple to just slip in and out of the crowd, when in fact it was anything but easy. I stumbled all the way to the doors, feeling more and more like Bella with every step I took. I've never been clumsy – not ever! – but it seemed as if all that grace was finally catching up with me.

When I got to the Volvo and tugged at the door, I almost tried to punch in one of Edward's windows. I couldn't go home in the Volvo, I couldn't go home in Emmett's Jeep, and why? Bella and Rosalie had the keys, and they were going to stay here for as long as they wished.

"Alice!" Jasper's hands folded down on my arms, "It's fine," I whirled on him, wanting to believe that what he was saying so true. But it wasn't, nothing was fine, it's never been fine.

His hand swept through my hair, the look of his face making me crumble on the inside. "Can you take me home? Please." Jasper nodded, an arm coming around my shoulders as he directed me towards his car.

"That's what I hate about Forks." I murmured, leaning against the cold of the passenger window. It was quiet in the Mercedes, quiet and cool and the seats huffed out a breath of Jasper's cologne every time we moved. I could feel his eyes on me for a moment, even though he wasn't looking. "I can handle the rain, the people, it's just so..._small_."

Jasper didn't respond, I wondered if he had heard what I'd said, though when I gazed over at him it was evident he had. "Why are you putting up with me?" Jasper glanced over, eyes steeled.

"I'm not _putting up_ with anything." He shook his head at me, as if I was some child he was reprimanding. "Now," Jasper murmured, attempting to change the subject. "Which street do I turn on from here?" He didn't need directions, I knew this and he knew this.

"No." I said frantically, "I...don't take me home." I put my hands over my face, wishing I could just be normal happy-go-lucky Alice. Where had she gone? It felt as if I'd worked so hard to revive her, just for my past to snake back in and poison her.

Jasper nodded wordlessly, I leaned over the console, pressing my face into his shoulder and closing my eyes...

Oh, God, what is that smell? I pawed at my pillow, the fat squishy fabric beneath my head, moaning softly when more of the scent coughed out. Bringing the sheets to my chin I smiled, inhaling deeply, such an amazing scent.

When I peeked open my eyes, I face a deep shade of navy blue. Fluttering my lids down again I slouched into the tiny groove in the bed and–

"Blue?" My voice was heavy with sleep, my head spinning when I whipped up and into a sitting position. The whole room was lathered in a wash of dark blues and rich browns, the windows to the left of me open to allow the sound and smell of rain in, though the curtains remained partially drawn.

Where's the pink? Where are the delicate antiques that make up my bedroom? Where are my soft, sweet colours – this _is not_ my bedroom! When I scurried in the sheets my body ached, I didn't realize I still wore last night's dress until I'd swung my feet out of the sheets. There, just below my dangling legs were my slinky heels, not the fuzzy Elmo slippers Jackson picked out for me.

As I staggered to my feet, rubbing at my eyes, I paused to stare at the black pinstriped blouse draped over the armchair in the corner. Jasper's blouse. I clapped my hands over my mouth, dancing out into the hallway where I could hear someone banging around just down the hall.

I need to brush my teeth! Then I smacked myself, no toothbrush, silly! I straightened my dress and grit my teeth as the fabric scraped over my skin. It seemed to have glued to me overnight.

Padding out of the bedroom and down the narrow hall, I stopped to assess the large, open-concept living room. It was so airy and open here compared to the dark lounge of his bedroom. A hot blush awoke my cheeks when I saw the mangled sheets on the beige couch, along with a single navy pillow.

Creeping into the kitchen I stilled in the doorway, admiring the mess of Jasper's blonde hair, something one could only acquire after a very uncomfortable sleep. He wore a loose fitting black thermal, the sleeves of which stopped at his elbows to show the various slashes that consumed his forearms and wrists. Jasper's track pants draped around his hips, just barely held on and I tried not to stare. Was every part of him this attractive?

I couldn't even be upset about what he was wearing, considering the outfit he wore was so unflattering it made me want to yell at him. But after all he had done...

"Hi." I murmured, Jasper didn't flinch at all. He peered over at me and it became clear to me he hadn't heard what I'd said, but felt my presence grow in the kitchen.

He smiled, the glow of his blue eyes fading quickly. "I didn't want to wake you," Jasper mumbled, his lips fidgeting. "I took you to Rosalie's first, but I couldn't remember where her spare key was, so..."

I shook my head at him, stepping further into the room, my face flushing when I saw the large kitchen table. He must have made at least eight different kinds of breakfasts, ranging from eggs and bacon, to bagels and waffles, all the way to fruit salads.

Jasper sighed, leaning back against the counter, "I didn't know what you would like, and you looked so happy I didn't want to get you up just to ask-"

"It's perfect." I said finally, interrupting his rambling. Jasper smiled at me, pivoting to face the fat bottle of orange juice on the counter. Taking a deep breath I crossed the small kitchen and wound my arms around his waist.

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded, looking up at him and wondering, if only for a second if this guy was seriously some kind of divine force. Jasper just shrugged, his hand at the nape of my neck curling in the teeny baby hairs I had back there.

"I didn't have the same upbringing as Rose," Jasper whispered, his blue eyes becoming hard, unfeeling. "Rosalie wasn't the mistake, I was." I gaped up at him, trying to remember just how to move my tongue in the way that would form words.

He went on, "I did not resemble my Father – the man my Mother had married – I look like Emerald Hale, Rosalie's Father, even if only slightly. He knew I wasn't his, and this made things...worse. By the time the neighbours were starting to notice, I was too big and too strong for my Father to beat me, or my Mother for that matter. I never lost a fight." Jasper's nostalgic expression slipped, replaced with one of stone.

He cleared his throat, eyes narrowed at the juice jug. "Then there was Maria and-" My heart sunk, tumbling down to my toes before I could even think of rescuing it.

"Maria?" I repeated, pressing my lips together, every teeny hair on my body seemed to stand on end. I don't think I've ever been so jealous in my life. "Don't tell me you're married." The words were meant to stay in my head, when suddenly my mouth started working again.

Jasper's eyes widened, he laughed in a way that was both incredulity and anger. "God no," He shook his head, clenching his teeth a moment. "She influenced many of my thoughts at the time, made me do things...I'm not particularly proud of." Now he looked in pain, the pain Bella had talked about last night, I tightened my grip on his waist and pressed myself closer. "I thought that she loved me," Jasper squeezed his eyes shut, "But...I was the puppet...she pulled the strings."

Burying my face in his side, I found the origin of the amazing smell that had doused my pillow. I smiled widely, despite myself. Jasper's eyes were on me, I knew, but I didn't want to stop.

He sighed, "She was another reason I enlisted," Jasper confessed, his jaw held tight. "Maria made me into something else, I went over so I could protect Todd and Sean, that's what I keep telling people. Really I was just so angry at everything, I wanted something I could hurt just as badly as I'd been." I drew back to watch his expression's change, this side of Jasper made me nervous, and not like in the way he had before.

I wasn't afraid yet it seemed like I should be, though there was just something there that erased all that fear.

"When I was sent home, they treated me like I was some kind of hero – even Rosalie did. I mean, I'm partially deaf!" Jasper lifted his free hand to rake his fingers through his already chaotic hair. "The things I've done...there's nothing my hands aren't capable of now."

I wanted to say something, anything. I couldn't think of Jasper _killing_ people, I knew he had, and that he was punishing himself for it. But, his hand on me now, his fingers so callused and so gentle in my hair, there was just no way I could see him as some kind of monster.

Jasper shifted in my arms, only slightly, but enough that he could lean down and press his face into my hair. "It took so long just to not be upset about it. To not hate everyone and everything for my actions, for what I had to do. It was so hard to come to Rosalie's engagement party," Jasper shook his head. "But she is my little sister, even if we're only step-siblings."

I tried to imagine what I would be doing right now if Jasper hadn't come to Forks. I slouched into his side. Oh, that's right, I'd probably be hung over from last night and sprawled across my bed. Fun.

When he chuckled, I knew my Jasper was back, that the darker side of him had passed. "Emmett found me, he'd been wandering around, searching for a little kid he was too big to find." My lips twitched when I realized where exactly he was going with this.

Jasper continued, grinning into my hair. "He stashed me away in the sunroom hoping Rosalie wouldn't see me. When in walked this tiny little boy-" I laughed, thinking of Jackson strutting through the doors "-He brought finger-sandwiches of course, and we discussed rainbows-" My gasp cut Jasper off midsentence.

"Please tell me you didn't tell him leprechauns and pots of gold aren't real. Edward did that to me and I don't think I'll ever tell Jackie." Surely my hysteria was well defined on my face because Jasper pulled away and laughed at me.

"Don't worry," He chuckled, "I didn't. He just went on about a girl at school and puppies, when I told him I had five dogs growing up he just about lost it." Jasper paused for the longest time and I thought that maybe he'd finished when out of nowhere he was speaking again, now only a murmur.

"Then you came in," He snickered. "And you were so unimpressed with me." We both laughed for a moment, if he only knew just how impressed I really had been.

Jasper's fingers left my neck to curve around to my chin, tilting my head back. "I don't know what I would have become without you." He made a face then, "As...awful as that may sound. I'm...I'm not trying to scare you away but-"

My whole face was ablaze, my toes curling on the cool kitchen tiles. "Hey," I grinned, "I'm not ever going to make you to be that again." Jasper leaned down to me and I squeezed my eyes shut like we'd kissed millions of times before...

"Wait!" I felt my nose wrinkle as I ducked away from him, my arms flinging back from around his hips. "Don't...not just yet." I had to wait until my mouth tasted like something that wasn't sleep before he could put his mouth on mine again. That prospect alone seemed to dampen my mood more than all that he had told me.

Jasper looked at me as if he knew, standing straight once more to pivot and extend his arm to the dining table. "Ma'am." He smiled, and I rolled my eyes dramatically, striding across the room to take my seat.

"Thank you," I murmured, gazing up from beneath my eyelashes to where he sat across from me. Jasper gave me a quizzical glance, and I blushed. "You defend me last night, let me stay in your apartment, let me _sleep in your bed_, and you made about twenty different meals for me."

Jasper's lips began to fidget on his face, and he smoothly tilted his head a fraction and shrugged a shoulder. "Miss Alice, I don't want your thanks. Would you expect me to be inhospitable?"

I snorted, "Well, you are Rosalie's brother." Jasper chuckled, the sound of his laughter making me jump slightly. How could Rosalie hate him so much? I could see how she would be very upset with her Father, but to hold a grudge for such a long time. Then again, she still isn't too taken with Bella either, and she and Edward have been together for nearly several years.

My gosh, seven years...Tristan and I hadn't been engaged for more than a year when I got pregnant. Ugh – no! I don't want to think about him, I leaned back in my chair, trying not to giggle when I saw Jasper fumble with his fork.

When he looked up to me I cleared my throat, "Um," My voice was shaken with laughter. "It feels like it's been forever since I've seen someone use one of those." Jasper's expression only became even more puzzled. "Jackson eats with his fingers whenever he thinks I'm not looking."

Jasper grinned faintly, his languid drawl making me shiver. "I used to do the same thing," He admitted, "Until Rosalie made me feel like a complete slob for doing it." His face reddened slightly and I could feel my smile growing. "I'm sorry," Jasper was saying abruptly. "I always end up saying more than I mean to."

I stretched my hand out in front of me, examining the manicure I'd given myself. Esme always said I could have gone into aesthetics if I so decided. I leaned across the table to steal a grape out of the giant fruit salad Jasper had made.

Eating with my fingers was something I'd done as a child simply because Edward and Emmett had done it. I describe it now as the "monkey see, monkey do" effect. Half of the things I wanted to do when I was young, I wanted to do because my brother's did it. At the time they were probably the most amazing people I'd ever met in my life.

One of Jasper's eyebrows arched curiously and I smirked. "I didn't think you'd be opposed to improper etiquette."

Jasper chuckled and nodded, setting his fork back down, "Not today."

I laughed.


	8. Silk to Stone

Sorry it's kind of short, but I'm building up to something epic lol so don't worry!

~Selene

Ps. I've been asked to do an Emmett and Rosalie story, not too sure if I could master those characters, so lemme know what ya think of that idea too.

* * *

I ate until I felt like a blimp, then helped Jasper clean up the dishes despite his objections. I sat on the couch, flicking through messages on my iPhone, Carlisle had called to promise me Jackson was fine, that he would see me later on this evening.

While Jasper was in the shower, I made a few calls around Forks, then searched the internet on my phone for an outfit online. I needed new shoes, and a new gown of course, I had drawers and drawers of accessories, the only issue would be baggage. A full purse seemed a little too much for an evening, perhaps a clutch?

Thinking about these things made me long to travel, I simply love shopping in different countries. Paris for elegance, London for edge, Venice for flare...the list goes on! Forks just isn't enough – nor could I get myself a stunning pair of flashy red heels by Christian Lacroix anywhere here.

I flicked through the colours, the sizes, requesting a custom order sent immediately to my apartment. It said it should take roughly three weeks for the shoes to come in, therefore, if they were being honest, my shoes would just manage to reach my eager hands in time.

Now I began to hunt for a dress, running through Gucci, Versace and Prada before settling on Dior. Ugh, I absolutely love shopping, but I just can't do it now that I'm here, in _Jasper's_ house, in _Jasper's_ living room. He himself is enough of a distraction as it is.

Almost on cue to slaughter my perfect morning my phone began to chime, Rosalie's ringtone echoing through the expanse of the room. I didn't want to answer. However; if I didn't she would undoubtedly call Carlisle or Esme and promptly inform them of my abrupt spiralling off the face of the earth.

I brought the phone to my ear, murmuring a very soft, "Hello?" Rosalie's gasp gave me a sense of a security, though I realized perhaps a second too late that it was false. I winced, feeling myself melt into Jasper's couch.

"Where the hell are you Alice?" She shouted, I blinked, so she wasn't mad? Rosalie was..._worried_? I smiled, suddenly beginning to see what lay beneath all that egotistical gorgeousness. "I hope you know I've spent the last five hours rummaging through your apartment." Just as I was about to ask her how exactly she had gotten in, Rosalie snorted and muttered, "Bella says hi."

I gave a nervous laugh, running my palm over the sequins on my dress. God, what I would give to get the hell out of this thing! I mean, I know I look amazing wearing it, which I should because it cost me two hundred dollars, plus it really is an absolutely beautiful garment – but not to sleep in!

"At least you're alive," Rosalie snapped, now I could hear Bella's anxious questions in the background. "Bella wanted me to phone Charlie-" I held my breath at the thought "-Obviously I didn't, I'm not an idiot. Though you really have me frightened, and Emmett is _so_ hung over Alice!"

I laughed, cut short when Jasper strode into the living room, pausing when he saw the phone in my hand. He looked at me as if he thought I'd phoned in to report that I'd been kidnapped. When I giggled his expression lightened, he crossed the room silently, and only when he had come closer did I see the silvery, clear droplets falling from his damp hair.

Jasper waved a plastic package at me before delicately resting it on my lap. I stared down at the tooth brush, unopened in it's case, and wondered if that's why he had been gone so long. I mean, I haven't taken an hour long shower in forever.

"...Mary-Alice, are you listening to me?" Rosalie barked, both Jasper and I winced. I took the phone from my ear and mouthed a thank you, he nodded and headed for his bedroom.

Jasper glanced over his shoulder, forcing me to turn away so fast I may have given myself whiplash. I resisted the nagging urge to stick my tongue out at him – an unbecoming habit I seem to be taking from Jackie – when he chuckled. "Y-y-yes, sorry, I just got distracted." I murmured, if she only knew.

Rosalie sighed, the annoyance dribbling from her words. "Where are you, are you okay?" Rosalie made a noise that, because I couldn't see her face, could have been a snort or a snicker. "Because, I certainly don't intend to go to the theatre with _her_ without you."

I rolled my eyes, "No Rosalie, I wouldn't make you suffer in such a way. Don't worry, I spent the night at Jasper's, I just didn't want to go home after the encounter with Greg." I clapped my hand over my mouth as the realization struck me. Did those words really come from my lips?

Rosalie was silent, Bella's voice in the background becoming even more urgent. After a moment of wordlessness Rosalie cleared her throat, if concern had previously been present, her outrage had stabbed it to death.

"Alice, Jasper is my brother. You've known him for all of three days." I could tell she was speaking through her teeth, one of the things Rosalie did that frightened me slightly. "I thought you would have more class than to _sleep_ with him already."

I leapt to defend myself, "No Rosalie – it's not what you think, he's not like that at all." My voice turned into this whisper soft dreamy murmur, and I held my eyes closed.

Rosalie scoffed and I groaned through my teeth the way Jackson did when I made him go to bed at eight. "Nothing happened alright, I'll call you later." With that I speedily ended the call, dropping my face into my lap.

Jasper laughed quietly, I peeked up at him, knowing my face must be as red as the shoes I bought not five minutes ago. "That's Rose for ya." His Southern lilt came hard and I fought to keep breathing properly

Usually, I am much more classy than this, I have much more grace and so much more poise. Why did all that seem to just slip between my fingers when it came to Jasper? He probably thinks I'm some sort of moron now, a moron with an even more moronic past.

"I have something for you." He smiled, then motioned for me to follow him. I took a deep breath and gathered my scattered composure before coming after him.

Slouched on the doorframe, I watched Jasper pass the dressers and closet doors to lift a large black bag onto the bed. He tugged at the practiced zipper, his dripping hair bouncing across his face.

"Now, I'm not sure if it will fit," He rambled quietly. "But it's the smallest one I have-" Jasper dug around in the bag for a moment, extracting a t-shirt that was evidently too small for him. I smiled "-You just don't look comfortable."

When he came to me again, all I could think of was getting out of this clingy dress. The toothbrush I'd been holding in my left hand slipped from my fingers, the package clattering on the floor. I yanked him down to my level to mould my form to his.

I didn't give him the chance to draw away and ask if this was alright, rolling myself up to the tips of my toes, tangling my fingers in his hair. Jasper sighed, then suddenly I wasn't straining to reach him any longer.

My toes curled at the abrupt absence of ground. I curved my fingers over the muscles, now flexed, in his arms. His arms tightened around my waist as I pressed my tongue to the soft, warm curve of his lip.

I wasn't aware of our stumbling until I was straddling his jeans in my dress. There was the briefest moment of coherent thought, before I was pinned beneath him on the navy sheets, when everything faded away again.

God, he made me feel so _small_! Cold droplets from Jasper's hair danced on my face, I arched my back to push myself into him. My hand, clutching the fabric of the shirt he wore, so it bunched at his shoulder, slipped down to his forearm. Here I was greeted by an endless array of lumpy, slippery scars.

Jasper and I parted so I turned my head to better examine the battle wounds. Jasper's hand, holding the duvet in a tight fist beside my head, seemed to be so large next to me. I followed the bend of his wrist to the scattered mess of permanent memories, embedded in his flesh.

"Why are you doing this?" I rasped, my fingers falling from his arm to rest on the thick, downy sheets. Jasper breathed slowly, blinking several times before gazing down at me.

He smiled that unusual, oddly crooked smile and closed his eyes for a minute. "I don't have to be human for you, Alice, you want me for whatever monster I am." Jasper's sweet blue eyes opened, holding my gaze with little effort.

It took me a moment to grasp his words entirely, and I grinned. "Good answer," I nodded a fraction, gasping for my breaths. "You're my kind of monster."

Jasper's kiss came gently, a shadow of what had past only seconds ago, his weight shifting above me, while his hand formed to my jaw. Even being here, in the safety that came with being near him, within his absolutely unfamiliar embrace, all I could think of was Tristan.

Tristan, the only person I'd ever been this close to. Tristan who had promised the same security. Tristan who was Jackson's Father.

Recoiling from Jasper, I forced myself as deep into the cushions as my body would go. Don't do this Alice, I told myself, don't do this to yourself. It took every bit of my strength to push my hands up and under Jasper's shirt.

His fingers found the hidden zipper to my dress and, I could have sworn my heart tried to burst out of my very body. "We have to go slow, okay." I whispered, hoping he wouldn't be able to feel me trembling.

Jasper leaned away from me, his vibrant blue eyes becoming sceptical. "I won't force you to do this Alice," I couldn't believe how firm his tone became in that instant, silk to stone.

Making myself smile, I brought a hand back, my fingers gliding over the golden shadow of stubble on his chin. "You're not," I whispered, gradually slanting my mouth over his again.

It was a matter of squeezing my eyes shut, timing my breaths with his, and giving myself up to whatever primal instincts I had.

Jasper's scars were _everywhere_, from his ankles to just under his chin. I hadn't a single scar on my body, and yet the way he looked at me, told me he could see them. I nearly jumped straight from my skin at the press of his callused fingers on my stomach. Jasper smiled, his hair dried, but had become even more twisted every time I put my fingers through it.

He was just so...patient? Jasper was quiet, never insistent or forceful...the exact opposite of Tristan. I sighed his name and it sounded so perfect, so _meant to be _it made me snatch his hands and plead for him to stop. Jasper went totally rigid, his eyes widening if only for a second, he held his breath and did not move a muscle.

"Did I-" I interrupted him before he could get another word out, placing my hand over Jasper's mouth.

I blinked again and yet again, until I was certain I could hold the tears off for at least a few minutes. "I...can't." I whispered, feeling my face burn uncontrollably. "I'm sorry." My voice shook, the sign that I was quickly losing a battle.

Jasper lay beside me wordlessly for the longest time. I wanted to get up, collect my things and run as far as my pumps would take me. The longer I stayed there, next to him, the more I realized just how big of an idiot I was being.

Rolling onto my side, I tucked my face away in the curve between his shoulder and neck. Jasper pivoted on the bed, nowhere near enough to disturb my position, just enough to encircle me with his arms. I would understand if he hated me for this, because I hated me for it.

Rosalie was right, I wouldn't be surprised if Bella really was getting more 'action' than I was. And yet, somehow, being bent flush to his side as I was, I'd never felt more wanted.

I was angry then, utterly furious. Pushing myself out of Jasper's grasp, I crawled over him, collapsing in the bend his chest made designed to fit me. Tristan and I never did this, I couldn't even keep count of all the extraordinarily expensive bras and panties I'd gone through with him, that he never even looked twice at.

Now, that they were the only thing – besides grey pair of boxer briefs – keeping Jasper and I separated they had never seemed more important to me. Which is saying something, because the intricate network of turquoise lace I was currently wearing, were $260.00 Chantal Thomass originals.

"_Where were you_?" I demanded, the outrage in my voice hardly reflecting just how enraged I was. Jasper's eyes widened again, before the recognition answered the questions his blue eyes carried.

He propped up against the headboard slightly, making me slide downward if only a fraction, to the unbelievably hard grooves of his stomach.

Jasper's thumb swept along my cheek, I was angry I hadn't even noticed the tears there. His eyes narrowed pensively, his quiet lilt the indication of his suffering. "If I could have been there, Alice, I would have been." He moved again, fingers combing through my hair, his lips at my forehead. "Jackson would have been mine, _you_ would have been mine."

I smiled, though, trying to picture my Jackson, my emerald eyed, mop-topped little boy with Jasper's blue eyes and blond hair, was not as difficult as I thought.

Moving myself up bending my legs, on either side of his hips. I brushed my hair back, only now considering what a big mess my ebony layers would be in. "Why couldn't it have been that way?" I asked, pressing my face into his warm neck, marred with puckering scars.

Though I could not see his expression, the way Jasper moved, the way his palms roamed my skin, made me wonder if he really could be feeling everything I was.

He never answered me, merely kissed my hair and smiled ruefully into the dark tresses.


	9. Meeting the Parents

"Mom!" Jackson screamed when he saw me, he hesitated the instant he took in my outfit, passing me a very curious gander before charging full tilt.

I couldn't believe how badly I wanted him in my arms again. It took everything I had not to sprint towards him and scoop him up off the ground. Jackson lunged, unable to get himself higher than my hips, but I hoisted him up and into my arms to squeeze him to my chest.

Jackson coughed exaggeratedly though I proceeded to kiss every inch of his face until he squealed for me to stop. It seemed like such a long time since I'd been home, _actually_ home.

The Cullen household remained exactly the same as it had been when I'd moved out of it. The only changes were the photos of Jackson as a baby on the shelves in the living room.

Holding Jackson on my hip, I stepped gracefully down from my pretty pink heels and turned to gaze up at Jasper as he came through the door. The way his eyes narrowed at the elegant furniture, the costly paintings on the walls and the satin soft hardwood, made me nervous.

When he peered down at me, I could feel he felt out of place though he'd said nothing. Our exchange was quickly interrupted when Jackson's bubbly voice shouted, "You!"

"Hey," I gasped, shaking my head at my son. "Where'd your manners go?" Jackson's green eyes found me and I hurried my gaze away, clearing my throat.

Jackson's face plummeted into a bright shade of crimson. "Sorry," He whispered, pursing his lips and dropping his eyes to the floor. "Hello Mr. Jasper, why are you here?"

Jasper smiled warmly, "No apologies necessary," He nodded in the gentlemanly way he had when he met my siblings. "I've come to get you." Jasper smirked when Jackson stammered and gasped.

"_Me_!" He squeaked, locking his arms around my throat and steeling his legs around my waist. "Oh, my Mommy wouldn't let you do that." Jackson timidly hid his face under my chin while I smiled.

"Alice, you know I have no problem driving him over..." Carlisle's smooth, kind voice faded when he strode out into the foyer, my Father's glimmering topaz eyes widening when he caught glimpse of Jasper and I. Or perhaps it was just my clothing...

I'd refused to climb back inside that black dress, no matter how adorable it was. So I donned the brown t-shirt Jasper had given me, it was still rather big, but it was a refreshing feeling.

Though, of course, it was simply not something I wore...in public, actually I'd never _ever_ willingly wear something such as this. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose.

Carlisle put his fingers through the softly refined golden locks of his hair. This is an action that so clearly belonged to Edward, it was odd to watch our Father do the same thing. He grinned that dazzling, perfect grin and flickered his eyes between us.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Jackson beat me to the punch. "That's Mr. Jasper, Grandpa, he said he was going to take me away!" Rolling my eyes I kneeled delicately to set Jackson back on his feet, touching his nose before rising up again.

Jasper waltzed around me, arm extended. I half expected him to bow or something and the thought made me giggle under my breath. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Jasper's words were strained, passing through tight lips, even his beautiful lilt seemed to have hardened.

Carlisle welcomingly shook his hand, then released Jasper's to extend his arm to the next room. Jasper glanced at me over his shoulder before continuing into the kitchen. "I missed you," Jackson sighed while he grabbed my hand to jerk me forward and follow them.

Being home now, with Jackson's fingers in mine, made every second I'd spent with Jasper so surreal I clutched the baggy t-shirt I wore in my fist, for fear it would vanish in a sudden _poof!_

Jackson told me about all he had done at the hospital today. How he spoke many patients, doodled lots on wordy documents, ate the lollipops he found in Carlisle's desk. Jackie then proceeded to tell me that he would never be a doctor, because he wasn't allowed to play in the wheelchairs.

This I only shook my head at, remembering all the times Emmett had goofed around in the wheelchairs over the years. Come to think of it, he still did, on the rare occasion he discovered one large enough to seat his burly body.

Esme was taken aback by my attire, though she politely kept her comments to herself and collected me in a crushing hug. "I've missed you sweetheart!" She sang in her gorgeously compassionate voice, kissing my cheeks pleasantly.

Shortly after Jasper introduced himself to my Mother, Jackson left me to stalk Jasper and Carlisle. The trio disappeared into the maze of halls and stairs that our house consisted of.

Esme touched my cheek, knowing better than to pet my hair. She blinked at me then, her smile growing. "We're making Italian if you'd like to stay," Mom's voice was as hopeful as ever. "There should be clothes of yours in your room still."

I leaned against the counter watching Esme dance about the kitchen, stirring this, whisking that, sprinkling here and pouring something there. She sighed contentedly, turning to face me, her eyes gentle and charming.

It was unbelievable how much I'd missed her simple gaze, I almost cried. "So, would this be the 'boyfriend' Emmett mentioned to your Father?" She lifted a slender eyebrow at me, laughing and clapping her hands when I blushed.

Pulling my shoulders in I bit my lip. I'd never been the quiet, meditative youth in the house, Emmett and I left that role for Edward. I had been the _bouncy, _frivolous child as Carlisle often told me, Emmett was the loud and impulsive one.

Though now I was feeling very, very shy which was something I'd never experienced before.

"We're not...official." I murmured reluctantly, prattling my fine nails on the countertop. "Jasper is Rosalie's step-brother, they have different mothers." My explanation was a whisper though Esme's eyes still bulged.

She gracefully moved her wrist to sauté something in a large pan, filling the kitchen with sharp sizzling. As the sound died down again, Esme brushed her long bronze tresses from her face and sighed.

"Rosalie, hmm? I should have known, they share quite a few similarities." Esme swept across the massive kitchen once more, to retrieve a bottle of spices that, one opened, burned my nose from where I stood. "Does Jackson approve?" She gazed at me and smiled.

Exhaling slowly, I closed my eyes and dropped my head back. "I hope so." I couldn't even begin to describe just how much I hoped. "They haven't really had any time to...get to know each other-" I couldn't hold my smile off any longer "-He's _incredible _Mom, it makes me upset that..." I couldn't finish, once I realized what I was about to say, I didn't dare finish.

Esme strolled around the island in the heart of the kitchen, to hold my face between her palms. "That it hadn't been Tristan?" Mom leaned down, kissing both my cheeks and then my nose. "Don't feel guilty Alice, what he did to you – to Jackson – was unforgivable. It isn't wrong for you to love someone else, you deserve to."

Holding my breath, and my tears, I wound my arms around my Mother's shoulders. Burying my face into the silken cloud of her hair that smelt so like my childhood, I sighed, "Thank you."

Esme laughed, the gentle curves of her cheeks warming to a rosy pink. "Don't thank me for things you already knew darling, now go change your clothes, I won't have you walking in my house like this any longer."

With a nod I made way for the stairs, climbing up to my floor and pushing the door open. My room had been converted to Jackson's so he would have a place to stay here, that was somewhat similar to home. However, few of my clothes still lingered in the enormous closet, that was truly the only remnant of me in the whirlwind of toys and picture books.

Flicking through the dresses, I smiled at the different colours, the sequins, the silks, and the denims. How did I leave all these here? I plucked out a rich, ruby coloured Chanel gown that slipped just down to my knees, and had the prettiest embellishments across the chest.

Gently tugging on a pair of tights, I ran my palm over the detailed designs that covered my legs. Then, nearly crying my eyes out, I found the _sexiest_pair of Christian Louboutin stilettos with gorgeous red-lacquered soles.

"Where have you been!" I shouted at them, there was no way – absolutely _no way_ – I would ever have left these here! Perhaps I have doubles? I must have doubles, these shoes are too cute to have been left here...here where Jackson could have coloured on them!

Anxiously turning each CL in my palms, I checked every inch of them, from the lengthy heel to the arch in the sole. All I could think about were the tortured beige Jimmy Choo's, resting in the box I'd bought them in, covered in glued on rhinestones and green, orange and, yellow marker. I think I may have sobbed for an hour consistently before Bella got me to accept that they couldn't be revived. What did Jackie have to say about the whole incident? _"I'm sorry Mommy, I just wanted them to be purdy."_

Graciously, these were perfectly intact, either I'd hid them in the best spot ever, or the Shoe Gods were watching over my darlings like hawks. Slipping my feet into the comfortable heels, I paced around the room once, careful to avoid the large yellow plastic Tonka truck, just begging to be tripped over.

At the massive mirror over Jackson's oak dresser, I brushed my hair out of the snarls it had been, mussing the black layers harshly. Unfortunately I didn't have time to bring it to it's full disarrayed glory, but settled for something very close.

It felt good to be dressed respectfully again, not that I hadn't felt completely in my own skin whilst wearing Jasper's shirt. I came back down to the first level in time to find Carlisle and Jasper, both so absorbed in their debate they hadn't seen me join them.

From what I had heard, Jasper was going into great detail discussing the Civil War with my Father. Carlisle listened diligently as always, taking in every word Jasper spoke, and adding his own comment every so often.

I could hear Jackson in the kitchen, demanding that my Mother tell him the purpose of math. Smiling to myself and clearing my throat, I was given the utter satisfaction of Jasper's swift intake of breath.

He stared at me for such a long time before shaking his head and offering me his hand. "You're beautiful," Jasper smiled, lifting his arm to twirl me round. I liked that he said, _"you're beautiful."_ Tristan always said, _"you look beautiful,"_ as if all he could see of me were my clothes.

Thinking of Tristan made my stomach tangle in the worst of ways. I felt smothered by the mere memory of him, it made my head spin vigorously. I missed the days where no matter what went wrong, I inevitably viewed sunshine and rainbows. When I thought of my old self, I felt incredibly distant from reality. My old self. So, if Alice was gone, locked away in a deep black asylum, what was I now?

Jasper frowned almost immediately, drawing me against him, leaning down to kiss my face. Only when he had done this, did I realize Carlisle had gone, my Father's voice and laughter entwining with Jackson's in the dining room.

I gripped at his clothes, my tone breathy when I murmured, "Come home with me." Jasper's eyebrows nearly jumped clear into the neatly chaotic waves of his blonde hair. He looked at me carefully, taking my face in his hand to scrutinize every inch of me.

He sighed, pressing his mouth to the smooth skin of my forehead through my bangs. "You're going to have to try harder than that Miss Cullen, I won't be had so easily." Jasper winked at me and I felt my lungs slowly winding themselves in an knot, around my heart.

"Later," His blue eyes sought and held mine. Blue, a colour that now appeared to be so far from green. "We'll discuss this later." The force of his tone, the effect his effortless lilt had on my entire being, made me wonder if somehow he could control me. Making a face I leaned away from him and saluted sternly, to which he laughed and took me down the hall to the dining room.

Jackson was strategically pushing his food around his plate, eyes narrowed at the army of vegetables spread over his pasta and chicken. He gazed hopefully up at me as Jasper and I sat at the fine, polished maple table. If he thought I was dumb enough to fall for such a trick, Jackson clearly underestimated my intelligence.

Narrowing my eyes at him I shook my head. "Eat it." I hissed, ignoring my Father's chuckle from the head of the table. Jackie wrapped his fist around the fork and speared a slim green bean, lips in a taut line.

"You eat it!" He howled, I was ready to lean inelegantly across the table and strain to snatch his hand. Though, by the time I was already perched up on my chair extending my arm, I noticed Jackson wasn't waving the bean at me.

Jasper stared at the fork directed at his face, he considered it a moment and his eyebrows came together. I sent a fleeting glance to my Mother, seated at the foot of the table, she simply smiled at me. Mortification flooded me from the crown of my head to my scarlet painted toes. "Jackie," I whispered, "Sweetie, just eat your-"

Jasper interrupted me, his hand folding over mine apologetically once he realized he had. "How do you think Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk?" Jasper squinted at my son, whose face became undeniably blank. The sudden agitation on Jackson's face made me flinch, he had never looked at me – at anyone – in such a way before.

"He gets angry." Jackson quipped, his chair squeaking as he inclined himself further over the table. His elbow nearly knocked over one of Esme's prized crystal glasses, and I winced, awaiting the gasp. Emmett had been fooling around once and shattered one of our Mother's glasses and I could have sworn she nearly had a heart attack.

Jasper grinned, eyes flickering down to the crystal cup. He didn't look worried, if he was, I assumed he would say or do something to make Jackson stop. Instead, he continued, "And how do you suppose the Hulk became _green_?"

Jackie snorted, face scrunching with impatience, when suddenly he was struck by an epiphany so hard he dropped back in his chair. I was certain Carlisle, the splendid doctor my Father is, would have to reattach my fallen jaw. Jackie smiled hugely then shoved the lengthy bean into his mouth.

Jasper smirked, releasing my hand to collect his own fork and start at his own plate. I gawked moronically at Jasper, Carlisle's laughter from the far end of the table was warm and certainly animated. Was I the only one who was at all taken aback by what had just occurred?

When I looked back to Esme, her face was alight with happiness, she met my gaze for a moment and her smile grew.

Yes, I most definitely the only one fazed by this.

Throughout dinner, Jackson fired random questions about superheroes which Jasper speedily shot down without any difficulty. I watched as Jackie's face became tighter and tighter. Only in that moment, when my sons face fumed red and he shovelled a roughly spun ball of noodles into his mouth, did I see that he was testing Jasper.

Carlisle sat elatedly at the head of the table, topaz eyes moving from one to the other vigilantly. My Father's expression was obscurely thoughtful, he said nothing throughout the whole meal, eating quietly and absorbing the stalemate between my son and...unofficial boyfriend.

I helped my Mother clear the table, the two of us silently packing the large dishwasher in the even larger kitchen. Esme suddenly cleared her throat, and I peeked up at her nervously. Her expression was similar to my Father's, had they been wordlessly testing Jasper as well?

"You're sure of this one?" She asked abruptly, making me recoil into the counter. Esme's eyes softened and she sweetly took my hands in her own, squeezing my fingers as I gaped up at her. "Jasper is _different_. You're so bright and bouncy Alice darling, and he is so..." Esme shook her head and closed her eyes.

I quickly hopped to Jasper's defence, "He's been through a lot Mom, besides, Jasper is Rosalie's brother. Can you blame him for being a little...uptight?" I tilted my head, thinking that my defence was stupid and feeble.

Esme just shook her head, "No, I suppose not." Her eyes tapered if only faintly while she exhaled and assessed me. "He grounds you Alice, you've always been a little odd," Esme giggled slightly and I frowned. Everyone in high school thought I was incredibly strange and no one in my family would allow me to forget it.

"However Jasper seems to keep you in one place, which can be quite taxing. It's beautiful." She grinned, appearing on the verge of tears, I smiled and shook out of her grasp to hug her.

"Besides," I smirked into her shoulder. "You know better than to bet against me, Mom."

Esme laughed holding me at arm's length, and shaking her head, so her smooth hair spread about her round shoulders.

Jasper and I stayed for another hour after dinner, when my phone began to ring. Rosalie's ringtone. I held my breath, excusing myself from the table and sneaking off out into the hallway.

"What the hell Alice? Where are you?" She snapped the instant I'd answered, squeezing my eyes shut I waited until Rose was done ranting before speaking.

"Sorry, I totally forgot." I murmured, pressing my forehead against the wall. "I had to pick Jackson up from my parent's, we're just leaving now so I'll see you soon." Rosalie snorted and hung up on me shortly after I'd said those words.

Coming into the kitchen I wandered around to kiss Esme and Carlisle, slipping around the dining table to collect Jackson. He was slumped over the table, face buried in his arms, his quiet breaths shaking when I lifted him into my arms.

Instinctively he shifted to wind his arms around my neck, and lazily throw his legs around my hips. Carlisle chuckled, "He's getting too big to carry, Alice, he's almost as big as you are now."

I frowned heavily, muttering under my breath. "I'm not that short." Jasper smiled between my Father and I thanking them for their hospitality, to which Carlisle just waved the comment off.

At the door Jasper gathered my shoes delicately in his hand, holding the door for me. Esme told me to stop by more often, and to bring my brothers, who were both coincidentally MIA. Leave it to the baby of the family to hold things together.

It was a relief to be driving home, everything that had recently happened seemed so...unreal. And I still have a party to plan...and a movie to see...and a boyfriend to make _official_. Ugh, does it ever stop?

"He looks like you," Jasper murmured, staring ahead as he drove, the gleam of the dashboard lights glowing across his face. He combed his hair back, the lazy drawl of his words so soft and admiring.

I ran my fingers through Jackson's hair, a mumbling groan pushing past his small lips. "When his eyes are closed," I smiled ruefully, kissing my son's forehead. Jasper lifted his hand absentmindedly, dragging his hand throughout my hair to hold his palm at the back of my neck.

"You're extremely lucky I did not attend Forks High." Jasper smirked, but I couldn't disagree more, he couldn't even begin to understand how badly I wished he grew up with me.

I shivered at the coarse feel of his fingers on my skin. It was difficult to focus on what Jasper was saying while he was touching me. I have this _thing_ with my neck, and when he did _that_ it felt really...

I sighed involuntarily, closing my eyes tightly. I could have sworn I'd heard him snicker, purposely dancing his fingertips down my spine. My toes curled and I had to clench my teeth to refrain from making any inappropriate noises.

"Wh-why is that exactly?" I asked, when I was sure I could form words again. Jasper's palm slipped from the back of my neck, the sudden lack of contact there caused my head to whirl with awareness. Jackson's weight in my trembling arms hit me with a wave of embarrassment so hard my eyes began to water.

Jasper, both hands lethargically on the wheel once again, gave a simple shrug. "I wasn't so innocent," He explained with a glance in my direction, "Certainly not as innocent as you, darlin'." Jasper's voice, when he called me that, the way his southern drawl tickled my skin, nearly made me scream.

And why, Alice, did you not sleep with him today? I found myself asking, smacking myself upside the head the way I used to with Emmett, prior to his became a beast.

"I had a baby when I was eighteen." I laughed icily while peering across the console at him. "I would think you have a very flexible definition of 'innocent.'" Jasper's lips twitched at my statement, his knuckles white where he clutched the wheel.

We were quiet a moment, I shifted Jackson in my arms to cradle him against my chest. Carlisle was right, he was getting to be too big to do this. Still, Jackie pawed at my hand in his sleep, curling his fingers around mine and holding them to his face.

He had done this as a baby, sometimes even putting them in his mouth. I'll never know why he did that, after all I never sucked on my fingers as a baby, not even my thumb. Esme always said I was content, just squirming around and making Edward cry.

I giggled at the thought, I was restless even as an infant, and my quiet elder brother couldn't stand it. Edward and I are exactly ten months and one day apart, you would think that's a little soon, but it had always been nice to have my favourite brother there.

We must have been a handful, now that I think about it. What with Edward and I with the extra baggage of Emmett, he was two when we were born. I guess I can't really fuss about Jackson, it could have been much, much worse.

Returning myself to the present, I tried to stay as still as possible, as to not disturb Jackie. When, from nowhere, Jasper was speaking. "Flexible," He nodded, "So flexible, and still I damn near snapped the term in half." I met Jasper's eyes with curiosity, waiting for him to elaborate. "I wasn't totally responsible as a teenager."

He used a very stiff tone and I laughed outright at him, "And here I thought you were the perfect gentleman, Major Whitlock." I curved my tongue as I spoke, to give a flawless imitation of his accent and Jasper chuckled. Years of mimicking Edward until he screamed made me a master of imitations.

In all honestly though, could you look at Jasper and even dare to assume he was the type that...slept around? The idea would make me cringe, if I didn't grow up with Emmett, of course he changed the day he dove into Rosalie's tent that day. Obviously Jasper had changed all on his own, I didn't need to interrogate him to know that.

"I won't have you think anything less," Jasper grinned, "Besides, the Alice Cullen's of my school were smart enough to stay away from me. I expect that you would as well had I been here back then." He said this, while watching me from the corner of his eyes, I just shook my head. No I wouldn't, are you insane? I could barely think when he was around me _now_, could you imagine how I'd act as a hormone-raging teenybopper?

"What turned it all around?" I asked quietly, hoping he would say nothing about the Maria woman he had been with. Even thinking of someone else with Jasper upset me.

Jasper shrugged, "Rosalie." I watched as his expression became one of absolute outrage. I pressed myself against the cool leather of the Mercedes' seat.

"She had an accident – that I'm sure she told you of – with a man I knew through a good friend of mine, Charlotte." Jasper looked at me carefully, as he had the night he came to my apartment. Only this time, he didn't question whether or not he trusted me. "I planned to rip his head off when I found out, but Rosalie-" Jasper smirked proudly, his eyes glimmering "-is not a girl to be taken lightly. She just about killed him herself for what he did to her–"

I interrupted with a gasp, "You mean Royce? Royce King?" Jasper nodded firmly, jaw clenched. I shivered, Rosalie told me about it once, and I'd almost thrown up. Her memory of the incident was so vivid, I couldn't believe she hadn't gone into shock or blocked out.

Before she came here and collided with Emmett, Rose had a..._traumatic_ accident with a guy she was dating. Apparently Rosalie's Mom is very strict when it came to everything her daughter did. She was always saying how her Mother would shake her and yell at her as a little girl. So, she didn't have much choice when it came to who she was with. Her Mother chose Royce, so Rosalie was supposed to love him unconditionally.

Little did Mrs. Hale know, that perfect man she picked out for her daughter, would end up beating and raping her. And he didn't do it alone. Rosalie said her Father spent almost every penny trying to mend the damage that had been done.

I'll never know how exactly she did it, but Rose just about broke every bone in his body and buried Royce alive, coffin and all. She had left him there in the cemetery until the police discovered him. Which, I suppose, explains why she's tough as nails now.

It gave me chills to think about it. Rosalie could bend her arms and twist her legs in the most unnatural ways now, and claimed that they just hadn't healed properly when the doctors put the pieces back together.

"I couldn't ever go through that." I whispered, staring blankly at the trees through the tinted glass, as they whipped by. Every hair on my body stood on end when I thought of what Royce and his friends did to her. Each of them in a drunken haze, taking their brutal turns, and then leaving her for dead. "I would just want the doctors to let me die."

Jasper moved his hands speedily around the car to park it, inclining himself across the car to kiss me. His mouth was like fire to my frozen skin, and I jumped up when he did it. "I wouldn't let anyone do that to you, Alice." He promised, sweeping my hair back with his callused fingers, to press his lips to the tender flesh behind my ear.

I watched, befuddled as he climbed from the car, wandering around the back to open my door. He gently took Jackson from my grasp, which was such a strangeness to me, I just about ripped him away from Jasper. I stepped from the passenger door and smiled up at my towering apartment building.

Closing my door, I took Jasper's free hand and followed him inside my building. Andrew was behind the desk where Angela, the receptionist usually sat. He looked up from whatever he was doing and smiled sweetly at me, though it did not last long, and his whole face burned red when he glared at Jasper.

"Hey Drew." I grumbled, pacing towards the desk while I spoke. Jasper's fingers fell from mine as he extended his hand over the soft, shiny wood of the desk to shake Drew's hand.

Andrew gaped at Jasper's arm, as if considering whether or not to tear it off. He never returned the hand shake, turning his sour face to me. "Miss Cullen. One Isabella Swan and Rosalie Hale called to leave a message. They will be arriving within the hour." Drew sounded twice as grouchy as he looked and I tried not to blush.

"It's just Bella." I corrected, hearing his uninterested snort, when suddenly Jasper piped up beside me. His voice was polite, and quiet, though somehow hostile and frightening.

"Is this how you speak to women?" Jasper hissed, blue eyes tapering while a blond curl tumbled down into his face. "I would highly recommend you watch your tone when speaking to Miss Cullen, Andrew."

With that, both my jaw and Drew's cracked against the expensive tiles of the lobby. Jasper took my hand in his again, hauling me to the elevator. Once we were inside I burst out laughing at his expression, he was sincerely furious about what had happened.

"It is completely improper to speak in such a manner to a lady." Jasper grunted, openly displeased by my laughter. However, this only made it worse, I was in tears by the time we'd reached our floor.

"What century are you from?" I demanded, fiddling with the lock on my door until it swung open. Jasper didn't answer, following me inside, I took Jackie from his arms and hurried up the winding stairs.

Jackson yawned, his eyes opening ever so slightly as I pulled open the Velcro straps on his shoes. I was thoroughly repulsed by this footwear, but they were comfortable, and for whatever reason Jackie liked them.

He looked at me thoughtfully as he stretched out across his bed. "Mommy," Jackie breathed, scrubbing drowsily at his eyes. "Is Mr. Jasper going to be my Daddy now?"

I pretended not to hear his question, setting Jackson's shoes in his cubby rack. He asked again, sounding more awake this time. "I don't know baby," I slouched down into a sitting position on his bed as I coaxed him beneath the sheets. "Do you want him to be?"

Jackie's face scrunched, he blinked long and hard then heaved a lengthy sigh. "I'll let ya know later," He decided with a grin, but quickly frowned and jerked upwards to coil his small arms around me. I pet Jackson's hair, thinking nothing of it until I head his sniffling. "Don't leave me, okay."

Now I drew him back to fully speculate his face, avoiding Jackson's eyes. "What on earth are you talking about? I can't go anywhere Jackie," I smiled, "All my pretty clothes are here."

His face lightened if only for a second, "So he won't..." Jackson glanced around before shuffling closer to me and whispering, "He won't take you away?"

I laughed and shook my head, "No, silly," I kissed Jackson's nose. "Jasper isn't going to take me away." Jackson looked thoroughly relieved and flopped heavily back onto the bed, turning onto his side and closing his eyes.

Once Jackson was fast asleep, I turned his nightlight on and closed his door, sneaking back downstairs. Jasper sat in my chair at the kitchen table, smiling when he saw me walk in. "You're a good Mother, Alice," He spoke in a whisper, blue eyes sweeping over me.

Pulling my fingers through my hair I chuckled, "I'd like to think so." I took the room with confident strides, not allowing myself to think when I placed my mouth on his. Jasper's left arm came around my waist to hold me against him, his right hand tracing the curve of my jaw.

Jasper rose from the chair to tower over me, I would have been bothered by this, had he not lifted me to the table top. Here, as I wound my legs around his, I discovered the proof of his desire and smirked. He pulled away for the briefest of moments, and I gathered breaths I felt I didn't need. Jasper's hands roamed my dress in search of buttons or zippers, when he growled and gathered the fabric in his fists.

"Don't," I snapped, feeling him tighten his grip anyways. "_Don't_." But he didn't stop, and I gave a dry sob at the snarling rip that seemed to resound in the room. I watched the gorgeous Chanel gown slip to the table in a heap of shredded material. Every designer's nightmare come true. I think I'm going to cry!

Then, just as quickly as Jasper ruined my explicitly expensive evening dress, I was utterly furious. I punched his chest and winced, holding my throbbing hand all the while Jasper chuckled.

Jasper was taking my tights over my knees when I pulled his hair as hard as I could. He grimaced and reeled back, still flush against me and glaring.

His mouth fidgeted and he narrowed his eyes vehemently when I blubbered, "My dress." I moved my hands over the frayed strands of material, he hadn't even pulled at the seams, my eyes bulged. "How the hell did you do that?"

Jasper pursed his lips, and shrugged naively. "I just wanted it...not on you." He kissed my cheek sweetly, peeking up at me through a set of thick blond eyelashes. "I'll get you a new one."

I glowered blackly up at his apologetic eyes, "You most certainly will." Jasper scooped me off the table, and I kicked my legs back and forth until my tights landed safely on the floor, where they couldn't be harmed.

I was momentarily staggered when he set me gently on my bed. Jasper started at the buttons of his blouse, and I bounced up to my feet. He stilled my hands on the final button keeping his skin from mine. "Miss Alice," Jasper started, his eyes reflecting his worry. "I can-"

Jumping on his sentence, I stamped it into the ground with a low growl. "Don't you even think about saying you'll wait. You _destroyed_ one of my favourite dresses – this is happening."


	10. The Origins of Jazz

Sorry I took so long to post this! My sister keeps stealing my internet stick so I can never get on the net to update, so I'm sorry if my updates are a lil slower (than usual) but I hope ya like the chapter. I dunno if you could call it grapic or not, I just didn't want you guys to think I'm like this creepy perv lmao aaaanyways, with out further delay, CHAPTER TEN! YAAAAY

~Selene

Ps. And no, fantasizing about Jackson Rathbone sooo does not count for pervy-ness )

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I placed open-mouthed kisses over Jasper's scars, from the pulse beneath his jaw to the sharp curve of his hip and back. He twisted his fingers in my hair and held me still above him, moving my lips with his, until somehow Jasper had me crushed beneath him.

And then, like nothing, we were moving. I wished it had been this way every time, I wished that he had been there. That I'd been Jasper's to take, and it made me so mad that Tristan had stolen everything. But I wouldn't do that, not here, not with Jasper now that he was mine.

"I can't breathe," I rasped, Jasper grinned gently against my mouth, I trailed my fingers over the shiny scars scattered about his arms, Jasper's personal incurable affliction.

Blinking quickly, I was stunned by the sound that made my heart skip over it's own beats. A shaky, unnecessarily loud, _"Jazz...!"_

Every drop of blood flooded through my cheeks and made me insatiably dizzy. "Oh!" I shut my eyes momentarily, "That was me!" And it was, for some reason the _'per'_ part of his name was evading me.

Jasper chuckled, but it was breathy and hoarse, he pressed his forehead to my own and groaned deep in his throat. It came again, from somewhere in my stomach, his name, remaining incomplete on my tongue, over and over and over again.

While my fingers continued to ravage every strand of his blond hair, I kissed the skin of his neck, my mouth grazed the rumpled flesh of his scars, hitching on the sharp stubble along his jaw.

Then I was staring over the edge, at the deep colourful void he was pushing me towards. I held Jasper's face between my palms, making him slow our rhythm. I wanted to draw this out as much as I could, the moments where every fibre of my body was his to own.

But the brink just kept coming closer and closer, until I was barely holding my balance. My toes curled in the downy soft, rosy pink duvet, mangled around us and I tossed my head back into my pillows.

Jasper's left hand, which had been desperately clutching my headboard, dropped down to snake to the back of my head. His rough fingertips pushed hard into the unbelievably receptive flesh at the nape of my neck. Jasper's lips clouding over mine to muffle the scream, that thrust itself aimlessly out of my clutches.

"Jazz," I smiled feeling so high above everything, waiting for my body to assemble itself again. Jasper exhaled heavily, the release so freely demonstrated on his face made me giggle. Breathing heavily, I gradually welcomed my sanity once again, pushing up from beneath him to slouch into my pillows. "You know," I laughed, "A few weeks ago, I never would have even considered having a relationship. Now look."

Jasper gazed up at me and sighed, eyes wide with a shimmer of uncertainty. "Now look?" He was weary, and the mess of blond hair around his face made it impossible to keep from smiling. "Have you just taken advantage of me, Mary-Alice Cullen?"

I cringed, tilting my head to the side and brushing the silky wisps of hair from my face. I was done trying to be better than Jasper, I couldn't pretend to look down my nose at him like I had with any other man. Especially now.

"No," I yawned, stretching my arms high up above my head. The soft lacy straps of my bra shifted off from the stickiness of my skin. God, I'd be lucky to not have imprints of the designs in my flesh by morning. "But you did indeed ruin my dress, didn't you?"

Jasper rolled his eyes dramatically, dropping lazily onto my bed. "I suppose that's fair." He nodded, laying on his stomach and folding his arms beneath his chin.

I lay beside him, curling to Jazz's side and resting my face in the dip of his shoulder. Drawing my thick bedding up to my chin, I felt my eyes water when he slid his arm around me over the pale pink sheets. Jasper's shimmering blue eyes vividly displaying his concern, I covered his mouth before he could speak.

"Can you just...give me some kind of proof that this isn't a dream?" My voice shook, the soft whisper of my words seeming to make my tears all the more real though they did not fall.

Jasper sprawled out across my bed until his back cracked. Jazz closed his eyes and smirked, "I'll be making breakfast when you wake up." He pet my hair before tumbling into sleep, shortly after I followed...

I was woken by something gentle and minty moving over my lips, eyes fluttering open to find Jasper kissing me awake. Pushing my palm against his chest, I sat up fully to clutch at the clothes he wore. Even half asleep, I could practically feel each thread of Italian fabric, which made up Jasper's shirt.

"You're awake," I mumbled, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I would have been angry that someone woke me up, but he had done it in such a way that I couldn't be.

Jasper stepped aside while I brushed my teeth then dug in my drawers. Extracting a purple camisole, Jasper watched me curiously as I brought out the black silk boxer briefs I'd bought a few years ago.

I used to wear Edward's briefs –Emmett's were much too big – in high school, it was then that I realized boys had everything easy. They even got to wear the comfortable undergarments!

Tristan hated when I wore these, or anything that wasn't the least bit feminine. Jasper didn't seem to care the slightest bit, his eyes were always on my face.

Opening my bedroom door, I started for the master bathroom. Wait a second...it's quiet. No cartoons, no laughter, no overly exaggerated sound effects.

The reason I picked this apartment was because I could hear everything, so even if I wasn't in the same room, I would always know Jackie was okay. I couldn't hear him.

"Where's Jackson?" My heart felt like it was about to burst, I looked to Jasper fearfully. His expression was blank, shimmery blue eyes wide with horror, he stammered helplessly and I ran for the stairs.

Jumping down the last three stairs, I skidded into the kitchen to find Jackson with his hands over his mouth, until he threw them back and shrieked, "Good morning Vietnam!" My stomach fell straight down to my toes, causing my head to spin uncontrollably.

Jasper's laughter behind me made it twice as worse, his hands appeared on my hips, pressing his lips to the flesh behind my left ear. "You should have seen your face!" He smirked, and I jerked away from him, pointing at them both.

"You little...!" I growled, hands on my smouldering cheeks as I came around the table to smother Jackson with my arms. "Do you know how scared I was?" I squeezed Jackie's cheeks until they were red, his small hands swatting at my wrists.

Jackson sneered, "Scared enough to call the SWAT team?" I laughed and nodded. He held my hands to his mouth swinging his legs back and forth under the table.

Jasper cocked an eyebrow at me and instructed, "Sit." Which I did, keeping his blue gaze with my glare, I crossed my legs in my seat and slouched over the table. My glossy wooden table where my ruby red Chanel dress and tights were folded beautifully on the edge. Had Jazz done this?

Jackson began to describe to me the very interesting dream he had had last night. I listened attentively, while watching Jasper flip pancakes like he had done it a million times. I was still impressed that he could cook at all. I know it's stereotypical to assume that all bachelors can barely set a timer on an oven, but after staying at Edward and Emmett's for dinner I had deemed fiction as fact.

I couldn't pretend to be apathetic.

As he was setting the table, he met my inquisitive gaze and sighed. The look that came over Jasper's face worried me, though it quickly vanished when he faced Jackson.

"If you could be Barry Allen or Bruce Wayne, who would you be?" Jackson narrowed his eyes at Jazz as if this question was one of vital importance to his existence.

I wanted them to get along, more than I wanted anything, and though I knew Jasper was trying, I also caught a glimpse of hostility in Jackson's eyes I had never seen before.

Jasper pursed his lips for a few seconds, taking that time to place three plates out across the table. "Bruce W-" Before Jasper had even completed his response Jackson was critiquing it.

"Why?" He demanded, emerald eyes fixated on Jasper's so sternly, I reached out and tousled Jackson's hair in an attempt to deter his antagonism.

I'd never demonstrated any kind of surliness in front of Jackie. Mainly because I wasn't a mean person, and I didn't want him to treat anyone rudely or speak out of aggression. I was certain he hadn't picked this kind of attitude up from me, perhaps Rosalie? She could be...cold when she so chose to. Or, worst case scenario, he had inherited it...

Tristan wasn't a resentful person. Maybe jealous, controlling and occasionally demanding, but he had never been–

Good God Alice, are you defending him? Defending the man that ruined your life? I wanted to slap myself. It wasn't a question of where he had attained this kind of attitude, because I knew the answer already. There really was a mini-Tristan growing in my house!

"Jackie, sweetheart, it's a little early to be quizzing people." I murmured, biting my lip. Jackson turned to me, pivoting in his seat, a different person entirely. He smiled my bright, energetic smile as the antipathy dissolved the minute he peered up at me.

Jasper answered anyway, as if Jackson's discourtesy and my anxiety had been absorbed and banished. "Super speed is great, but I'd rather be the world's greatest detective, and the amazing mansion. Besides," Jasper smirked dropping a perfectly round pancake on my plate, "Batman always gets the girl."

Warding off the heat that had scaled to my cheeks I shook my head at them both. "Jackie I thought Batman was your favourite?" Jackson poked guardedly at the golden circle on his plate, he looked across the table at Jasper and frowned.

"Not anymore."

I put my hand over my face. Perfect, I should have seen this coming right? After all, Jasper's too fantastic, even with his flaws he is just too good to be true.

Pushing my plate aside I smiled falsely at Jackson, "Baby could you get my sketchbook? It's in my office." Jackie nodded and scooted off his chair to bolt down the hall. Jasper touched my arm softly, the warm press of his callused hands making me shiver. "I am so sorry, he's not like this! Jackson would never-"

"Alice," Jasper spoke sharply when he said my name. "Don't apologize, you've been his for as long as he can remember – _just_ _his_." A small smile formed on Jasper's lips and he shrugged. "He doesn't want to lose you."

My jaw seemed to fall loose, smacking on the table. "Seriously, Jazz, why are you doing all this? You're so tolerant of us." I took Jasper in fully, the loose burgundy t-shirt he wore and grey track pants. Instantaneously I was appalled, hastily bringing my eyes to his face so I wouldn't make a comment on his clothes. I grinned widely at what I saw here.

Jasper needed to shave, not right at the moment, but he soon. His thoughtful blue eyes wide as he watched me, dark and drowsy smudges lay under those eyes. Jasper's hair made me giggle, the messy snarls around his face created something Emmett would call, "Sex Hair," though Jazz definitely pulled it off.

He leaned awkwardly over the table to hear me, and I repeated my question gently against his ear. "Why shouldn't I?" He gave me that strangely crooked smile, "You must have seen me coming."

Worsening his hair by matting my fingers in it, I grinned. "I'm just happy that you stayed." I kissed Jasper's ear through the knots of his hair. "It means a lot to me."

Jasper sat back in his chair as Jackson strut back into the room, his eyes flickering suspiciously between us. He slapped my sketchbook and a pencil on the table, continuing to prod his pancake, picking pieces off and sticking them lethargically in his mouth.

I flipped through the pages until I came across a blank one. Jasper's eyes were on me as I scribbled out a rough sketch of a woman, slowly adding different accessories. When Jazz realized I was drawing the dress he had so destroyed, he snorted and slouched further into his chair.

When I was finished, starting up on a new drawing, Jackson excused himself from the table and made way for the living room. Tomorrow I would send him back to Forks Elementary, the drama with Daisy still hadn't blown over, but perhaps a formal apology would change that.

"Rosalie came by." Jasper murmured, clearing Jackson's plate into the garbage. His remark hadn't even fazed me until he went on to say, "Last night."

The lead of my pencil snapped and I stared at the large silver tear in the flannel pyjamas I'd been doodling. My eyes landed instantly on my clothes folded on the table, before I slammed my face into the pages of my sketchbook.

"You didn't wake me up?" I grumbled, digging my hands into my hair, I heard him pull the dishwasher open and begin packing away our plates and utensils. Breakfast had been incredibly short, I realized, Jackson had barely touched his food and I just wasn't hungry.

Jasper grunted, the loud plastic crack of a lid flying across the room. He gasped, scurrying across the room. "I didn't think to," Jazz admitted. "All I heard was someone come inside, both you and Jack were in bed, so I assumed..."

When I dared to look up at him, Jasper's expression was harsh. I laughed icily at him and shook my head, "You thought Tristan was here? I had all the locks changed the day I made him leave. Only Bella has a key." The seriousness of Jasper's gaze was unyielding.

"I thought of that," His face reddened clear down to his neck. "But I needed to be certain. When I came downstairs I almost collided with Bella, and she fell down a few steps-" Jasper coughed over a chuckle "-I don't know how you slept through the bang. Rose was in the kitchen drinking wine – she wasn't pleased when she saw me. She just wanted you to call when you woke up."

Breathing in shakily, I forced a tight laugh. "That sounds like Bells." Jasper grinned, starting the washer as if he had been doing it every day. "It was our movie night, I totally forgot. Rosalie is going to be ticked."

Jasper cocked his head to the side, leaning back on the counter ledge and folding his arms across his chest. "I thought it was a pretty good reason to miss movie night." I laughed, combing my hair back. "Still," Jasper muttered pacing to the side wall to pluck up the phone. "You should call her."

I didn't want to, but I did as Jasper suggested, narrowing my eyes at the repulsive clothing he wore. "Where did you get those?" I asked, vaguely hearing the phone ring on the other line. Jazz blinked at me, looking down to his sweats and t-shirt, his face burning red.

"Gym clothes, they were in my trunk." He explained, then smirked wickedly, "Your friend was not pleased to see me come down this morning." He was talking about Andrew, who had completely slipped my mind until now. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, he was a great guy it's just–

"Yes." Rosalie's curt voice cut off the dull ringing in my ear and I liquefied in my chair. I saw a brief glimpse of the future, one where she would be strangling me with my own tights.

"H-hey Rosie." I grumbled, hoping the use of Emmett's nickname for her might soften the blows soon to come. Rosalie snorted and I stared down at the ruined design in my sketchbook.

My eyes followed Jasper as he paced out into the hallway, distantly, I heard his voice and then Jackson's. "Alice," Rosalie snapped. "How was your _night_?"

She was goading me, and if she thought I was just going to crack and beg for forgiveness Rosalie had another thing coming. "_Ah-mazing_!" I smiled against the receiver, "I'm sorry I missed our movie night, we'll go tomorrow after yoga – my treat."

Rose was quiet for such a long time I wondered if maybe she had hung up on me. She's done that before. But she cleared her throat and murmured, "I'm glad you're happy, Alice, you know that. I'm just not particularly fond of Jasper. I'd love to go out after yoga, as long as it's on your dime-" Rosalie was cut off by a roar in the background.

Rosalie's voice was distant when she said, "Emmett _what_ are you _doing_?" There was silence for a moment, then a sudden bang that made my body launch up nervously. Then Rose laughed, it was a beautifully musical sound, "Are you pouting?" She sounded smug, though I strained to hear what else was exchanged.

"Pfft! _Pouting_ – I don't pout." Emmett hissed, "I'm being sexually frustrated! Are you not seeing this? It hurts!" I could hear him stomping around now, grumping and groaning. Rosalie mumbled something unintelligible, though I was practically slapped by the indifference that seemed to drip from her words.

She sighed, "Sorry Alice, Emmett's proving how immature he can be." I heard my brother curse in the background, giving a terrible imitation of Rosalie's voice. "Emmett I swear to God if you break that..." Rose snarled, her outrage making me flinch suddenly there was this loud crash. Rose grumbled, "Let me call you back, I have a child to punish."

I hung up, dragging my fingers through my hair. How did she plan to spend the rest of her life with him? The way things were swinging Emmett wouldn't live past their actual wedding day. With a roll of my eyes I tore the drawing out of my sketch book, crumpling it up to toss across the kitchen.

What am I gonna do? I still have the party to plan for...and I'm still varying on themes for said party. Caterers were booked, it was just a matter of location, decorations and entertainment now. Not a big deal right? Wrong.

When I came into the kitchen, I found Jackson sprawled across the rug on his back, while Jasper sat in the loveseat across the room. They both snapped back and forth at each other, Jasper's voice obviously much kinder than Jackie's. They were discussing something about school, a topic Jackson had suddenly taken a disliking to.

This hostility thing needed to end right now.

"Jackson that's enough." I said, trying my hardest to sound angry. I never really scolded him unless he did something insanely wrong, like ruin my purse or shoes...or that one time my cell phone.

It felt weird trying to reprimand Jackson now, because he really is such a good kid I've never seriously had to in the past. "You're being incredibly rude-" Jackie looked at me with green eyes that could kill, they welled with tears fiercely. I could feel my anger diminishing by the second "-just...just apologize, okay."

Jackson's bottom lip quivered unstoppably as he sat up, though, instead of saying anything to Jasper he charged at me. Out of habit I knelt to collect him in my embrace, finding myself more shocked than not. "I'm s-s-s-sorry Mom-m-m-y." He whimpered, arms wound crushingly around my neck.

Jasper smiled wordlessly across the room, bringing his fingers slowly through his hair. I rubbed deep circles into Jackson's back, gently kissing his hair as I sighed and leaned away from him. "I know you are," spoke under the command of a faint smile, brushing away his tears and pressing my lips to his nose.

"Can you go pick up the clothes in your room, I'll do laundry today." I said this simply to give him a task to do, but Jackson nodded and took off for the stairs after kissing me on the cheek.

Jasper's brilliant eyes followed me to where he sat on the couch, his hand petting my hair when I uncurled myself in his lap. His expression made me curious, as if he could feel just about every emotion radiating from me.

Jasper's lips twitched, "Why are you so afraid of him?" His voice was soft, his question not meant to hurt me, though it did. I wasn't afraid of Jackson, I was afraid of what he could be capable of. However, I didn't want to talk about it, not right now anyways.

"I'm just a bit stressed out." I smiled wearily, palming the slippery silk of my boxers. "I'm planning a company party that's coming up in a few weeks-" I put my hands over my face and groaned "-nothing that I can't handle, it's just that I have so much to do."

He pulled his fingers though my hair, brushed them over my shoulders, the rough calluses making me shiver. Closing my eyes I melted into the warmth of his hands, his body, his absolute unfamiliarity.

"I'll leave you to it then," Jasper was saying all of a sudden. I reluctantly allowed him to coax me into a sitting position, watching him carefully. He leaned down slightly and lightly swept his mouth over mine, my nails grating over the fabric of his shirt. Jasper sat up properly again, kissing my forehead before he was up on his feet and wandering towards the front hall.

Wait a minute! I thought, what's wrong with this picture? I felt like some silly little child, racing to my feet and towards the door. "You're leaving? Just like that?" I made a face that could have been a pout or a scowl, I couldn't tell by the way every part of me was scrunching with displeasure.

Jasper tilted his head and grinned, I was deftly aware of him sliding his shoes on before me. He put his hand around me to grip the door, his other curved around my wrist, scaling to the bend of my elbow...

My eyelids fluttered down instantaneously. My every hair tracking his coarse palm as it climbed to my shoulder, then bent down over my collar bone, his fingertips pressing into the tender skin there. My chest seemed to tighten, making it impossible to breathe while every part of muscle in my body tensed and froze.

The click of the door lock fell on deaf ears, Jasper drew me in, lips on mine. My heart pounded uncontrollably in my chest so loud I worried he would hear it. The smooth skin of my face burned, the blood there racing beneath the surface.

Jasper's hand slithered to the back of my neck and in that second I was totally gone. My arms hung numbly at my sides, utterly useless while knees buckled and my toes curled into the satin soft hardwood.

Nothing could compare to the feel of his hands on me.

"Jazz..." I sighed over the motion of his mouth, Jasper groaned and I felt the sound on my tongue. Before I could do anything, before I could push the door closed, he had stepped around me and into the hallway.

It took me a moment to get my eyes open again, but when they were I was glaring blackly. "How did you..." I shook my head, either I'm just that stupidly incoherent when he's near me, or Jasper is much smoother than I'd originally anticipated. I hadn't even realized he had come around me and stepped out the door.

"I'll call, I promise." He smirked, thoroughly amused by my dumbfounded-ness. Jasper's slow, soft lilt made my stomach twist. But I couldn't believe how much it bothered me to see him leaving, what with his gentlemanly nod and a wink from under that complete mess of blond knots.

I stared after him, long after Jasper had vanished into the elevator doors. I didn't grasp just how big of a dork I must have appeared to be, until little old lady, Mrs. Jones came by and asked me if I was okay. With a blush I nodded and sunk back into my apartment.

_I'll call, I promise.

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_

Well...how'd I do? ahahaha, I know, I was kinda unsure if I should do his name as "Jas" or "Jazz" but I like the Z so it's stayin! lemme know what ya think people, too much detail, not enough, TELL ME!

~Selene


	11. Nightmares do come True

First off, sorry I took FOREVER to update lol, but I like this chapter so I hope you guys like it too. and THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH for the lovely reviews, you have no idea how much I really appreciate them 3 3 anyways...I'm thinking, after I finish this one, I might do another one XD not like a continuing series but another fic about Jalice so lemme know whatchya think and if anybody has some ideas for me I would very much like to hear them!

~Selene

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"Alice?" Bella touched my hand, her worried voice made me jump out of my stupor. I looked around the cafe like a moron, clearing my head of all the thoughts of Jasper that had been haunting me since the day he'd left my apartment.

I turned to face Bella as she smiled at me, brushing her hair back behind her ears. "Sorry," I murmured, "I zoned out for a moment." My face flushed while Bells shook her head at me.

"Don't worry Alice, your weirdness has grown on me." She winked sipping at the fancy paper cup in her hand. Whatever it was, the beverage smelt strongly of lemon, and left Bella with a hilarious foam moustache.

We both pivoted in our chairs when the bell on the door rang. Rosalie had gone home at the end of yoga class, after receiving a panicked call from Emmett. Bella and I were placing bets on what he had broken now. I said Rose's pride and joy – her dining room crystal chandelier – Bella seemed to think he'd set the stove on fire again.

I swear, between partying in university and playing rugby, Emmett had the brain cell capacity of a gold fish.

But it wasn't Rose who paced through the doors, it was Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton. So they were together? Again? Jess gave both Bella and I a sharp look before smiling and waving, while Mike, blushed and flailed his arm about.

They both wore thick jackets, and boots that _galumphed! _whenever they took a step. I frowned, turning to glance out the shop window, so the snow was still falling? A smile tugged at my lips when Bella instinctively chattered her teeth together.

"What's wrong Arizona? No love for the snow?" I teased, Bella shooting me a heartfelt scowl, before setting her cup down and wrapping her arms around herself.

She snorted, "Snow means it's too cold for the rain." Bella's nose wrinkled to accentuate her utter disapproval. I laughed, leaning back in my chair and nodding.

Bella forgot my family and I spent a year or so in Alaska, we only paid visits now unfortunately, there was just no time with all our busy schedules. Carlisle had friends who lived in Alaska, they were very nice people, though I wasn't too fond of Tanya.

The snow doesn't bother me, I actually kind of like it, the way it makes everything so bright and sleepy. It's so beautiful, not to mention that one time Emmett forced Edward to stick his tongue to a pole at school. That was a comical winter memory I couldn't forget.

"One second Alice." Bella sighed, ambling to her feet and trudging towards a beckoning Jessica. Mike piped up when he saw Bella coming, though Jess pushed him into the line up for drinks. I snickered, poking at the cinnamon bun in front of me, my finger sinking into the sugary layer of icing.

Setting my chin on my hand, I proceeded to think. First my thoughts were centered on different themes for the Victoria's Secret party. Then I switched onto Jackson, wondering how he was doing in school, if he'd eaten everything in his lunch. Soon, however, my train of thought had thoroughly lost itself deep into the vibrant crevice of my mind that belonged to Jasper.

Jazz. My Jazz. I grinned goofily to myself, just thinking about him made my head spin. He hadn't called, not that I was counting the days or anything – three days to be exact – but I could wait him out.

He thought he could get away playing _my_ game. Well if he thinks he knows how to play hard to get, then his whole universe is about to be rocked! After all, I'm Alice Cullen and–

"Ali-cat."

I froze. Oh, God, my hands raced to my chest – where did the beating go? There's no beating! My mouth opened but there was no sound, no intake of breath, no breath at all!

Dad always said that all you had to do was close your eyes, think of a happy place, then count to ten and monsters would go away. So I did just that, squeezed my eyes shut, thought of Jackson as a newborn in my arms, counted slowly and opened my eyes.

But Tristan was still there.

Tears sprung up almost immediately, followed by a thick ball in the base of my throat. I blinked up and met his glimmering green eyes, eyes like sea water, I thought.

Tristan smiled, a wide shimmering, flawless smile and shook the white clumps from his curly hair, longish hair that was almost the colour of chocolate. Everything about him screamed warmth and sun and happiness, right down to his tan skin.

Tristan's freckles remained, teeny dark speckles that scattered from cheek to cheek all the way down to his bellybutton. I'd tried to count them once. He bat thick dark lashes at me and tucked his hands into the pockets of his snow dampened jeans.

"W-w-what..." I stammered, holding my hands over my mouth as he sat down in Bella's seat. Bella! My eyes flickered over to her, but she was missing, it took me only a second to pick out her long chestnut hair. But she was leaning awkwardly over Jessica and Mike's table, locked in a discussion she didn't want to be in.

Tristan sighed, stretching an arm out to pluck up my cinnamon bun and take a bite. Icing clung to his lips as he chewed, his emerald eyes holding me with an inescapable force. I wanted to scream, every part of my body rocked with silent shrieks as I pinned myself to my chair.

"Why are you h-h-here?" My voice shook near the end, just barely fighting off a gripping sob that made my shoulders jerk. Tristan was insulted, swallowing quickly before setting my bun back down.

He brushed his hair with his hands, the soft strands sparkling where the light caught the snow in his hair. "I miss you Ali, I miss Jackson too." Tristan placed his palms on the table, reaching out for me like he did when we would have an argument and he wanted to make up.

There was salt and warmth on the corner of my mouth, only then did I finally grasp that my tears had evaded my control. Tristan made a face, one that openly told me just how upset he was. I never enjoyed seeing him this way, it wounded me deeply.

"I just want things to be the way they were before." He murmured, hands still open, still waiting. My eyes flickered between the soft, welcoming curves of his palms up to the sheer agony within the green shades of his eyes. "I know I fucked up Alice-" I hated that, I hate when he swears "-if I could go back, if I could change everything, I never would have snapped like I did. You know I love Jack, you _know_ that, I'd never hurt him."

All I could do was shake my head, this only made Tristan more persistent, as I should have expected. My mouth opened, dry and useless, but then I thought he wasn't good enough for my words. Tristan didn't deserve one peep from me, the nerve he had to come here!

I stood to leave but he gripped my arm in an iron fist, his fingers biting into my skin. "_Sit_ _down_. _Now_." Tristan spat venom at me, and though I longed to yank free, to run to Bella, to where it was safe, I sat stupidly in my place.

He smiled half-heartedly at me when I obeyed, though his eyes narrowed with an annoyance that made my un-beating heart jump start again. "C'mon Ali-cat, we were everything – don't tell me you don't miss it. I want you Alice, I've spent the last two years wanting you. I'm not taking no for an answer now."

Twisting my arm I relieved myself of Tristan's grasp holding my hands to my chest. "I..." My voice wavered, forcing me to dig inside myself for any bit of Rosalie that may have rubbed off on me. "I don't...I don't want you back." I mumbled softly, it wasn't much, but it was something right?

Tristan's face contorted, both with hurt and outrage. His jaw clenched in the way it did when he was angry, but his eyes were wide with a fear I'd never seen before. "How can you say that?" He demanded, hands turning to fists on the table. "I've been in love with you since I was fifteen Mary-Alice Cullen – you had _my_ son, and now you just _don't want _me?"

Pressing my lips together, I tried to keep a firm glare on Tristan, tried to look strong even if I didn't feel it. "I'm with someone else." I hissed, watching as his eyes widened, if only for a moment.

Tristan slouched back in his chair and gave a condescending chuckle. He rubbed his hand over his face once, shaking his head mockingly at me. "Who? Blondie from the club?" When I gasped Tristan smirked decadently, "Don't think Greg didn't tell me about your little one night stand, Alice, and don't think I'm not gonna pummel that jackass for even touching you."

I snapped, slapping my left hand down on the table, "I don't _belong_ to you Tristan! I don't want you either, you lost that the minute you laid hands on _my_ son!" Tristan only laughed harder at my outburst, even though by now I knew we must've been drawing some attention.

He inclined himself over the table, one eyebrow cocked triumphantly. "_Your_ son," Tristan quipped. "I hadn't realized you'd gotten pregnant all by yourself Alice, darling. I'm not giving up, I never should have left the first time, I'm done reasoning with you Ali-cat–"

I interrupted him furiously, jerking back in my chair so hard it fell backwards. "Don't call me that!" I shouted, stomping my foot out of habit, the whole cafe turned towards us.

Bella came running along with the teenage boy that had served us our drinks and cinnamon buns. "I-is this man bothering you, ma'am?" He stuttered, trying to look intimidating. The gesture was sweet, and I would have been so grateful had I not been so fuming mad.

"He must be if he got Alice to raise her voice."

I whirled on my heels to throw my arms around Rosalie, ducking my face into the soft fluff of her fur coat. The boy continued to hassle Tristan until he was on his feet, I didn't see or hear him leaving, but I could feel his glower ravaging me through my clothes.

Rose finally hugged me back, pushing me away shortly after to fling her hair and roll her eyes. "I leave you two alone for two hours and all hell breaks loose?" She motioned for us to follow, clicking away in her heels, obviously Manolo Blahnik's, but I would never wear shoes like that in the snow. Rosalie was bold, though too that would be an understatement.

Bella thanked the boy, quickly trailing behind Rosalie and I as we paced outside. I clutched my coat to me, closing my eyes as tight as I could and praying this had all been a dream.

Though, the words that Bella spoke next proved everything had been real, "He's gone." There was hope to her words that I wanted to bask in, I opened my eyes gradually and faced my friends.

Rosalie was examining her pristinely blood red nails, the gentle purse of her lips showing just how fascinated she was by them. Bella watched my every move, and she was there instantly when the tears started pouring.

She ushered me towards her hideous truck, when Rosalie snatched my arm, handing me her cell phone. I was about to ask her why she had done this when I saw whose number was flashing on the screen. I ducked into the cab of Bella's unsightly truck, leaning against the glass with the phone pressed to my ear.

The truck roared indecently to life, and I was appreciative for the heat which soon flooded the cab. My eyes flickered over the icy road as Bella followed sluggishly behind Rosalie's car. Bella was quiet and I just about shrieked with joy when I heard someone answer the phone.

"Rosalie, do you have any idea what time it is?" Jasper groaned.

I giggled, "It's one in the afternoon sleepy head." God, I couldn't believe how easily my encounter dissolved as soon as I heard his voice. As I sunk into the squashy bench, Bella muffled her laughter.

Jasper shuffled around on the other end. "I know, but you know how hard it is for me to sleep – Alice?" The surprise was not hidden well within Jazz's delicious drawl, I closed my eyes and put myself there with him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you. Jazz I had the most terrible afternoon." I could practically feel his arms around me, listening to the gravely sound of Jasper clearing his throat.

He mumbled something I couldn't quite understand, then said, "You're alright Alice, don't worry." He soothed, "What happened?" Jasper's voice was still groggy with sleep, but the effect he had on me made everything Tristan had done and said melt away.

I felt bright and happy, indestructible..._Alice_. There you are! Cried my thoughts, where have you been? I smiled against the thin flip phone in my fingers and sighed. It felt good to be me again.

Tristan couldn't touch me, he could try all he wanted, but he wouldn't win. So things were chaotic, a muddle of imperfection and faultlessness. I have everything I want: Jackson, my friends, my family, my incredible job! So why can't I give in just once? Say screw it all and somehow fit Jasper into all of my craziness. Well I can, and I will.

"There was an incident..." I started slowly, trying to block out what had happened only moments ago. However; the sobs lingered in my words, the pain, the memories that haunted me still. Tears were unstoppable, and I sniffled against the phone. "Tristan found me today," I choked at last, flinching at the near feral growl on Jasper's end.

"Where are you Alice?" He demand in such a smooth, calm voice it frightened me. From the near-snarl he had made only seconds before, I was startled to hear how relaxed he was.

I rubbed my eyes, looking at the smudge of mascara on the side of my hand and frowning. I blinked over at Bella beside me, eyes so concentrated on the road as she hunched over the steering wheel. Bella is like a hawk when she drives. She smiled faintly, sensing my gaze and I leaned back on the window.

"On the way to Rosalie's I guess," There was static over my words as we rumbled into a low-reception area. Bella snickered quietly while I kicked my boots off and wiggled around in the cab, trying to get as high as up as I could manage. "We had yoga and were supposed to see a movie today."

Tristan's face kept flashing in my mind, not a memory but a nightmare. I had gone two years avoiding every bit of him, even our mutual friends. I did everything humanly possible while bringing up Jackie to keep Tristan distant. Except now, Jackson was growing, growing and growing into something I couldn't cut apart and piece back together.

I ducked my face into my arm on the top edge of the bench seat. "I don't know what to do," My voice was hoarse, unstable. Every ounce of my being fought to hold onto Alice, she had seemed so strong only a moment ago. A bright ray of sunshine, the old me surfacing, it was silly to think I could keep her for more than a few seconds.

Who am I kidding? I'm still a mess!

"That's enough," Jasper said, stern but gentle. He baffled me. "You're not like this Alice, you know you're not. I won't have you react like this to some moron, you're better than that." Jazz made a sound that could have been a laugh, "You're _my_ girl."

Closing my eyes tightly I grinned ruefully into the slick leather of the truck's bench. "Where were you?" I murmured again, clearing my throat when Jazz asked me to repeat myself. I forgot he was hard on hearing still. "Sorry, I just said...I think I'm in love you."

The truck swerved slightly and I jerked up to look to Bella. Her brown eyes wide, she looked at me worriedly, pressing her lips together as she faced the windshield.

"Is that weird?" I asked, turning back to sit properly in my seat. My eyes scanned the coral pink nail polish on my toes, I tilted my head to the side, thinking that they would look better lavender.

Jasper chuckled, "I'm accepting the fact that that's just you, Alice, you're odd." I rolled my eyes, this was nothing new, everyone I knew thought I was _odd_. However now, it seemed more like a compliment. "Are you all right? Would you like me to come by Rose's?"

My nose wrinkled, Rosalie would murder me and Jazz on her doorstep if I said yes. "No, that could end badly." I stated, narrowing my eyes on the towering evergreens that surrounded Rosalie's flamboyant manor.

There was a smile in Jazz's voice, "I'll call you later then?" I didn't want to say goodbye so instead I said nothing, knowing I was pouting childishly. Jasper sighed, "Don't tell me you love me Miss Cullen, at least not until that _think_ is a _know_." With that, Jasper said goodbye and hung up after a long moment.

I stared at the phone in my hand for such a long time, it made me gasp when Rosalie snatched it out of my hand. "All better now?" She spoke sourly, I smiled falsely and nodded. It's a shame that the light Jasper brings leaves when he does as well.

"Thank you," I murmured, climbing out of the truck and staring up at the skyscraper of a building Rosalie's home is. Emmett's red jeep was missing, I glanced over at Rose who shrugged and rolled her eyes nonchalantly.

"He's probably off-roading," She said with a smirk. "If we're lucky maybe he'll get stuck somewhere." Bella and I shook our heads at her while Rosalie lead us up the drive to unlock the front door.

Bella jumped right inside, kicking her massive red boots off and relieving herself of the ugly yellow jacket she wore. Rosalie's house was always hot when it was cold out, she undoubtedly had the best heating and cooling system in Forks.

It was like summer here and I welcomed the unyielding warmth that flooded over my skin. I straightened the cashmere sweater-dress I wore and brushed the remaining snow from my skinny jeans.

Rosalie had us settle in one of her great living rooms, our bottoms squeaking on the slippery black leather furniture. Everything from the flowing, swaying drapes to the Persian rug beneath her shiny glass end table, shouted Rosalie's executive side.

Each room of her house had the same feel, though each was larger than the next and withheld different sides of her. The bedroom, for instance, exuded an intensity which even made me stagger. I'd gotten over the fact that my best friend was sleeping – violently – with my brother ages ago. Even still, simply standing in that room was overwhelming.

We rested in silence for a moment, before Ross spoke. "You and Jasper, hmm? Together? For certain?" I nodded, glad that she was saying nothing of Tristan. I couldn't stand to think of him, just the thought of his hands on me again made me sick to my stomach. What did he think would happen if he showed up and apologized the way he had? That everything could be better? Nothing will ever be better.

Just when I thought I was back, the real Alice, the..._happy_ one. She was gone, secreted, smothered by Tristan's very presence. How could he do this to me?

"He makes me happy Rose." I murmured, feeling the need to defend Jasper. Rosalie flung her blonde tresses over her shoulder tipping her nose up to me before turning her face away.

Bella sat beside me wordlessly, she ran her dull nails over her faded jeans and smiled timidly between the two of us. Bella was always the peacekeeper. When her brown eyes caught my gaze it was with concern, not pity and I thanked her mentally for that.

Rosalie snorted, "Maria made him happy." At my intake of breath Rose's fierce, shimmering blue eyes narrowed on me while her jaw clenched. "He didn't tell you?"

I nodded a fraction, feeling that no words I could speak would suffice. The vehemence that stirred in Rosalie's eyes made me shudder, Jasper had told me, and it had been clear how much this Maria had hurt him.

He practically exuded the pain he was feeling, creating a palpable force that rendered me speechless. If the thought wasn't so silly, I may have asked Rosalie if Jazz was some kind of empath, that's what they're called right? I think Bella and I saw a movie about someone like that.

"She ruined him Alice – if you only knew the things she made him do..." Rosalie shook her head, eyes squeezed shut with both rage and agony. "I hated her. From day one _I hated her_. But would he listen to me? Of course not. I was the dumb little sister, then he thought he could just leave. After wrecking my life, my Mother's life, he had the balls to just leave us."

Bella sat back in the couch, her attempt to disappear. She did this when I took her shopping, as if she thought she could melt into the clothes and hide. I could have sworn I heard her whimper, if only slightly.

"You mean when he enlisted?" I mumbled, though the look I received was enough proof that I was right. Rosalie held her jaw tight, inclining herself slightly away from the couch, making me duck back into my own seat.

She snorted, "You know don't you, about what happened there?" Rosalie tilted her head a fraction so her thick, golden hair would fall in her face. "Sometimes, I wish he just hadn't come back at all."

Both Bella and I balked at her, I just about screamed at her when I hissed, "How could you say that?" Rosalie glowered at me, though I didn't pause long enough for her to speak. "About your own brother, Rosalie!"

She cocked an eyebrow at me, blue eyes tapered. "Don't pretend to understand Alice." She snapped. "You don't know anything about him except what he decides you need to know-" Rose laughed cruelly "-which is hilarious I think. You two really are a perfect match, huh? I mean Jasper can barely control himself and you – you're just the perfect mess aren't you?"

I stood from my seat, as did Rosalie, when suddenly someone was screeching at us. "Stop it!" Bella jumped to her feet, although when we glanced at her, her face seared red. "Just..._stop_." She murmured, dark hair swinging about her shoulders as she stabbed her index finger towards Rose. "You have no right to treat Alice like this – there's no reason for you to be involved."

Rosalie rolled her eyes melodramatically, "Alice have you even thought about what all this is doing to Jackson? He's growing up without Tristan which isn't the issue, that guy is a complete jerk." Rose treaded around the table pacing around past protective Bella, to rest her palms on my shoulders. "You have to consider that throwing Jasper in is just going to confuse him even more."

I slapped her hands away, feeling as if I was drowning. My words were quiet, choked, "But I'm in love with him Rose. I am, I don't want to be with anyone else. Ever." My eyes brimmed with tears, hot tears that made it difficult to blink. "Tristan was a mistake, we all know that. But if I could have waited for Jasper, if I could have just thought about what I was doing..."

Rosalie pressed her lips together, displaying how little she wanted to hear what I had to say. No one argues with Rose, you're always wrong and she's always right. There can never be an _in between_.

"Don't tell me what to do with Jackson, I trust him to make his own decisions. But I _will_ be with Jasper, I don't care what you have to say." I stood as tall as I could, which wasn't much, though I puffed my chest and put on my determined face as I gazed up at her.

Rosalie just shook her head, "Sure Alice, because the last one turned out so great." She fluttered her fingers about the air in front of me to indicate my distressed stature. I winced, though Rose didn't so much as hesitate when she grunted, "Guess we'll see."

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Yeah I know, pretty expected chapter but don't you worry, I got some huge twists ahead ;) R&R PEOPLE! lol

~Selene


	12. All one can Ask

Rose and I were on tough terms for what remained of the week. She was typical, ice cold, ruthless Rosalie who crushed my every hope of redemption every chance she got. It hurt not to have her around. Eventually I decided to let her blow off steam by herself, though apparently she'd been unexpectedly stressed out about our scuffle too.

Emmett called and forced me to endure a very detailed, very scarring little chitchat about how I'd ruined his intimate life. Evidently I needed to make up with Rose before he died from a perpetual case of "blue balls."

Ew!

I'd spent the weekend with Bella while Jackson spent the night at his friend Gavin's cottage. It was odd not to have him around for more than a few hours, I found myself repeatedly making a mess of his room just so I could clean it up again!

On Saturday we went for a drive out of town, just to see how fast I could push my Porsche before Bella would freak out. Though the whole time she was distracted, telling me all about Jacob and how he'd been purposely trying to get at Edward.

I dislike Jacob because...thanks to an incident our family had at the reserve there's been a very thick tension between us Cullens and the Blacks, as well as many other native families. So much tension they banned us from ever going on their land. Funny thing is, Carlisle never much relished to discuss the matter with us, so whatever accident occurred remained a secret to everyone except Mom.

That and Jacob has a serious thing for Bella, he just about makes Edward snap whenever the opportunity arises. My brother's overbearingly possessive when it comes to Bella.

I did my best to give her advice, and though she nodded her head and agreed with what I was saying, Bella never actually listens to anyone when it comes to Jake, it's almost like she's addicted to him. Which is another thing that never ceases to make Edward crazy.

Later that evening I went nuts, doing load after load of laundry before admitting defeat. Slouched over the drier I sobbed into my palms, unable to shake the absolute loneliness that devastated me down to my very being.

God, I could barely last two days without Jackson. And my moods were in a constant sway once I realized I hadn't seen or spoken to Jasper in nearly three days. How pathetic can one person be?

Of course, I couldn't call Bella again, she was spending the night at Edward's. But I didn't dare phone Rosalie, she'd probably just hang up on me for the millionth time.

So, unfortunately, I was left with only one option...

"Hey Drew," I grinned sheepishly when he answered his door. His apartment was nestled directly across the hall from his Father's, the landlord. He looked down at me reluctantly and sighed, I scratched my arm nervously. "What're you doing tonight?"

Andrew gave a simple shrug, not looking at me in the slightest when he mumbled his response. "I'm pretty busy Alice, you know...paper work and..._stuff_."

I rolled my eyes, pushing the door open and gliding past him into the apartment. Andrew gawked at me, though he closed the door and locked it sloppily. It wasn't the first time I'd been here, though it had always been on professional terms, never to hang out.

Andrew's home was spacious though his furniture was sparse and mismatched horribly. It hurt my eyes to gaze around the living room – who puts plaid and corduroy _together_? My gag reflex jumped, making it excessively difficult to sit down on said red plaid couch.

Drew joined me gradually, looking more anxious than I'd ever seen him. It made me blush to know that I'd made him feel this way. We discussed pointless matters such as the weather, and how the issues between Daisy and I were still circulating through the veins of Forks.

Andrew finished telling me about how he and his carpentry business were going when he snapped, "So, where's your boyfriend?" I could tell he had been meaning for the words to sting, which they did because I honestly had no idea where Jazz was.

I peeked up at him from under my eyelashes and shrugged innocently. "He's been...MIA for the past few days." I immediately regretted saying my choice of words . Missing In Action. God, just thinking about that made me shiver.

Andrew pretended to look remorseful, though his faint grin made me giggle. "I'm sorry Drew, I never meant to hurt you it's just-" Andrew didn't allow me to finish, his lanky body stiffening on the couch as he interrupted me.

"It's just I'm not your type." He spoke solemnly, yet still managed to choke out an angry chuckle. It startled me when he grunted, "I get that now. You're into the army dudes."

My gasp only made Drew's face tighten even more. He looked so helplessly angry, so jealous I lamented walking in here in the first place. "H-h-how did you know Jazz was in the army?"

Andrew snorted and shrugged, combing his choppy hair back with his fingers. He pursed his lips at me and dug his fingertips into the couch cushions, "How could I not know? He was all over the television at one point, The Soldier That Survived and blah, blah, blah."

My face scrunched in fury, how dare he speak about Jazz in such a way. After all that had happened to him...he didn't deserve any resentment just because of me. I leaned further away from Drew on the couch, wishing I could see him as the cute, incredibly sweet boy I had before.

"It's..." I began softly, not sure exactly what I intended to say. Being confrontational was never something I was good at. It took a lot for me to fight with someone in earnest, I could only think of one person who made me freak out like that. Rosalie. Well, I guess Kourtney too.

"You can't even begin to imagine all that's gone in his family." I squinted at Drew, hoping that he would let this conversation pass and move on. The evident gleam in his eyes told me differently. His arms pressed deep into the couch, making the disgusting fabric grunt and groan.

He merely shook his head, biting his bottom lip harshly. "You're so difficult Alice." Andrew snorted, brindle hair bouncing across his forehead, I stared at the dark strands a moment. They glimmered in the lamp light, more of a shimmery gold than a coppery brindle now...

I tried to focus on how Drew's hair clashed with the striped turtleneck he was wearing. It was too late, I realized, I was already envisioning Jasper's hair, knotted blond clumps around my teeny fingers. Holding my eyes tightly shut, I forced the image away and rested my hand over my lips. Small lips, lips that seemed to tingle with the reminiscence of the sharp stubble that had been atop them only days ago.

In an instant, I wanted Jasper more than I had in the days that had passed – oh God! Drew was still talking to me? Damn it, focus Alice!

"...I just wished you would've given me a chance...before all of this." He murmured, the rage I'd believed to be in him before long since dissipated into depression. I blinked at him, wondering how I could have tuned him out so easily.

Sure, five years of Jackson's screaming and my selective-hearing kicks in now? Ugh. Andrew looked curiously at me, dark eyebrows pulling together quickly to wrinkle his forehead viciously. Was I supposed to say something now?

"Alice?" Drew prompted, the curiosity in his gaze turning to annoyance. I sighed and nodded as if I had heard every word of his statement, as if I hadn't been fantasizing about Major Whitlock.

Pursing my lips I pretended to contemplate Drew's thoughts on the issue, my attention lingering on his last words. Glancing at him apologetically I shook my head while brushing away the unruly black tresses that lapped at my face.

With a final exhale I smiled falsely as I drew my shoulders in. "I'm sorry," I mumbled aimlessly, "I've just always seen you as a friend. I know I must've lead you in the wrong direction...but Jasper...he's everything." Andrew winced at my response and I tried to flip the subject to bring things to a happier note – if that was even possible!

Standing up from the couch I clapped my hands hopefully together and smiled widely down at him. "But I'm here, and you're here-" I pointed from me to him, then at the black lace blouse I wore and my dark jeans "-so I'll take you up on that dinner now!"

Andrew dropped his face into his hands and groaned shamelessly, I grimaced. When he did look to me again it was with full pity, though something told me this was a pity directed inwardly.

He heaved a great breath and slouched back into the cushions. "I'm tired," Andrew muttered glumly all the while holding his jaw in an obviously painful manner. "Tonight isn't good for me."

Translation: _Please leave so I can sulk and play Xbox_.

With a curt nod I made way for the door, not wanting to struggle with him. I crept out of Andrew's apartment, only grasping how alone I was again when I stood uselessly in the empty hallway.

Before I could allow the panic to set in, I rushed to my floor again, locking myself away in my office. I started at a sketch I had begin last week, scribbling away until I was too deep in my work to think of anything else.

Drawing out a rough design, I continued to add a few accessories...stilettos...Oh! Maybe if I coloured this blue – no green...in a solid twenty minutes I had a gorgeous pair of lime green panties and swanky matching bra and sheer, lace robe before me. Now all I had to do was scan it over to HQ.

Smiling widely, I gladly welcomed the distraction my work brought me. After an hour or so of emailing, scanning and doodling I cast my undying attention to my huge project: the company party. I spent the rest of my evening making calls and reservations, taking down numbers and bargaining with greedy men. I had the perfect locale, the perfect theme and with a few clicks of my mouse on a familiar website, I had the perfect dress.

Now I just needed the perfect date.

"Alice?" There was an extended pause. "Alice would you get up!" Someone mumbled something, I squeezed my eyes shut and yawned, belting out an echoing scream when I was shaken violently.

Emmett released my swirly chair when I took a swipe at him. He snickered, retreating to the assembly that had gathered in front of my desk. Edward smiled at me, hand-in-hand with Bella who was biting her lip and shaking her head. Behind them, I could vaguely make out one tall figure in the hall outside my door.

Rosalie held her face away from me, her arms crossed over her breasts, blue eyes staring blackly into my office though they never neared me. Hair over her shoulder, I heard her mutter something sharp and livid when Emmett joined her in the hall.

"Mmm..." I murmured, rubbing at my eyes. "What's going on?"

Edward eyed me slyly, gently elbowing Bella whose expression had become one riddled with hesitance. She cleared her throat and tucked her hair back behind her ears, staring at the floor when she bumbled, "We're going shopping."

I couldn't help but gawk at her. _Bella_ wanted to go _shopping_? Actually _wanted_ to? Pressing my lips together and scrubbing my eyes again I gazed around the space of my office, shaking my head out slowly to get rid of the sleep lingering about me.

"Where's Jackson?" I asked, instantly terrified by the quiet that wrapped around my apartment. Emmett shuffled in the hall, drawing my attention for a moment to where he held Rosalie's hands in his own, his usual ridiculous expressions missing.

From where I sat I was almost certain I heard Emmett say something about apologizing. A question which Rosalie promptly replied to with a sharp, definite, "No." And she jerked her hands from his, following up with, "Don't touch me, Emmett."

Blinking away from them again, I looked fearfully to my other brother, lifting to my feet and stretching my muscles.

"Rose dropped him at school already." Edward explained quietly, a small grin beginning to form on his mouth. "He made you breakfast before he left. Unfortunately the ice cream melted."

I couldn't fight the smile that overcame me. God Alice, you have a five-year-old taking care of you? I ran my fingers through my hair, gazing down at the steel clock on my desk and gasping. "It's noon!" I glanced between Edward and Bella, both of them chuckling at my reaction.

"Yeah," Bells was the first to speak, throwing her thumb over her shoulder to indicate Rosalie. "It was her idea, I'm just playing Switzerland," She sighed and rolled her eyes.

Edward and I laughed aloud. "As usual," We said together. I ran my palm over my face once and stretched again. "Alright, let me get ready." I grumbled, pushing away from my desk and around them to stagger into the hallway.

Forcing a smile I peeked at Rosalie, who didn't have the courtesy to even make the slightest eye contact with me. Typical.

It took me little under an hour to brush my teeth, shower up, pick out an outfit and style my hair and makeup. Edward and Emmett had made plans to stop by the hospital and see Carlisle before going home to see Esme.

I figured Edward persuaded Emmett into going with the promise of a buffet.

Before heading out I poured the bowl of melted chocolate ice cream, cupcake sprinkles, and soggy bits of Eggo waffle down the sink. I really am lucky to have Jackson, no matter what Tristan did, I'd never regret getting pregnant.

Bella agreed to riding in my Porsche, she was a little more reluctant after our trip out of state. I swear she nearly threw up every time I pushed my car past 100. Then again, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, her truck couldn't do much more than 55 on a good day.

I followed behind Rosalie's candy red BMW listening to the static on the radio. "So," I began. "This is Rose's apology?" I asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to make conversation with Bella, who had been staring out the window for the last ten minutes.

She swung her head towards me with a groggy look on her face. I giggled helplessly, "I'll slow down." Bella nodded heavily, exhaling a sickened gust as I dropped my speed.

"She called out of nowhere." She responded at last, opening the passenger window to stick her head in the way of the oncoming wind. "I didn't want to leave you two alone just yet so...here I am...on the verge of throwing up."

Laughing outright I patted Bella on the shoulder, stopping behind Rosalie at a stop sign. We continued to talk about miniscule things, our focus mainly on Jacob Black to my dismay.

We drove for a solid hour, stopping only for a coffee. Though when we reached the small strip of outlet malls I couldn't complain, it was nice to be out of tiny Forks and with Rosalie again.

I knew she didn't plan to apologize, simply because saying sorry was a sign of weakness when you were a goddess such as Rosalie Hale. I was willing to accept all she had to offer, though I still wasn't too sure what grounds I shared with Rose.

After everything she said, I didn't know if I was ready to forgive her entirely.

We made small talk, giggling whenever Bella cringed at the different price tags. Rosalie told us what Emmett had broken over the past few days and which day he planned to make us all head down to the beach. I had an ongoing bet with Rose that it would rain and, Bella wouldn't set foot anywhere near the water.

I'd skinny dipped in a lake just outside Forks once, with Tristan of course. It had been so cold I got sick the very next day, and spent the next two weeks napping and blowing my nose.

It was just after I'd talked Rosalie into buying a sleek black pair of lace-up heels, and bought Bella the cutest sundress – despite her protesting – when I saw them.

I dropped all twelve shopping bags in my hands and raced over to the window they were situated in. The first thing that came to my lips was: "Jasper would love this!" To which Bella responded with an exaggerated gag and Rosalie snorted arrogantly.

They both followed me in the store though. I bypassed the different contraptions, the misshapen figurines, and set my mind on one task and one task only. Even the slim girl working the cash register seemed to grasp that I was on a mission.

So focused I was, I didn't even take the time to tell her that her shoes – leopard print stilettos – did not match the lime green and neon yellow zebra striped t-shirt she was wearing.

I seized her arm and hauled her to the mannequin in the front window. "I want that," I demanded, stabbing my finger at the outfit. "In the smallest size you have."

The girl looked at me nervously and hurried to the back to check to see if they had any in stock. Only now did I take the time to dash over to Bella, yank the device out of her hand and say, "You _do not_ even want to know what this is."

She blushed furiously under the dark cloud of her hair and knit her fingers together innocently. Rosalie stood at the cash register, arms folded irately over her chest as she watched us. The impatience that lavished her face etched into my dwindling nerves – where the hell was that clerk?

The relief that I felt when I saw that hideous striped shirt was colossal. There was excitement coiling in my stomach as I watched her bag the clothes. Rosalie proceeded to ignore me and glower around the store, while Bella remained shyly at my side, fearful of whatever else she may come in contact with.

I snatched the hot pink plastic bag out of the clerk's hand so fast, I was scared that I'd broken one of her terribly fake acrylic nails. She winced, nodding quietly when I apologized. I honestly meant it when I said it, however I was so wound-up that my words sounded more than a little bit dishonest.

"Alice, when do you plan to wear that? It's way too cold here." Bella asked, still eyeing the bag after I'd bounced gleefully from the store. Rosalie laughed harshly under her breath, as if Bella couldn't grasp an obvious joke.

Tilting my head and looking up at the slender brunette I shoved off a fit of giggles. "Do you really want to know?" Bella cringed and shook her head following quietly behind me as we strode over to another shop.

I made sure we hit at least eight more stores, before caving into Bella's whimpering. She grinned from ear to ear the moment we reached my Porsche and she could sit down, I turned to say goodbye to Rosalie before I knew what I was doing.

Her blue eyes met mine with a coldness that could have possibly sucked the soul out of any other person. Yet mine remained within me, perhaps shaken, but still intact.

"Bye Rose." I grumbled half-heartedly, turning away from her so fast my hair whipped into my eyes. Rosalie's perfect hand rested on my door to keep me from opening it, I examined her nails, the flawless turquoise paint that coated her nails.

Pressing my lips together I tightened my grip on all the bags in my right hand. "I'm not sorry, Alice." Rosalie stated, "You don't know Jasper. He's going to hurt you, I know he will. So believe me when I say I'm trying to protect you."

Rosalie withdrew her hand enough for me to yank the door open. Bella sat curiously in the passenger seat, eyeing us both with a sceptical gaze. "Bye Rose," I repeated, ducking into my car and slamming the door shut. Bella and I drove home in absolute silence despite my attempts to be cheery little Alice. But, Bella knows me too well to ever care for that.

There was a large truck parked on the curb in front of the familiar house. "So you're seeing him tonight?" I asked after pulling up the driveway to Charlie's. Bella tucked her hair back and nodded, looking me over before heaving a great sigh.

"He's my best friend Alice." She said softly, determination suddenly coming over her warm brown eyes. "I love Edward, but I'm not going to let this whole jealousy thing change everything."

Reaching across the console I patted her gently on the shoulder. I understood Bella's predicament, although it did not make me like Jake any more. Bella was Edward's whole reason for living. I don't think I could ever look him in the eyes again, if he was to lose her to a mongrel like Jacob Black.

I clenched my teeth together when I saw his familiar frame come through the front door, followed by Charlie's. I put on a fake kindness as I stepped out of the car, bypassing Jacob without so much as a sideways glance, I gave Charlie a tight hug.

It was natural for me to feel at home when I was here. However; whenever Jake was around I almost felt protective of Bella and Charlie, as if he was some threat to take this comforting feel from me.

Jake helped Bella with her things, both he and Charlie joking about how she would have to put on a fashion show once they went inside. Bella simply blushed and punched Jake on the arm, a pitiful blow which he easily shrugged off.

Hurrying back to my car I promised to come by another time as I dropped back into my seat. If my clock was right I could get to Jackie's school just in time to pick him up. I wouldn't be able to beat the rain, but I wouldn't have him waiting outside in the cold, that's for sure.

I was cautious on the roads, more or less because the streets were slick. Though as soon as I saw Daisy Reid striding through the school parking lot in one of those hideous reflective vests, I was tempted to run her down.

Jackson sat in the grass just off of the pathway to the elementary front doors. I parked swiftly and raced to gather him in my arms. "Hey you!" I smiled widely holding his face between my palms as I kissed him everywhere. Jackie said nothing. "What's wrong baby?"

He shook his head and took my hand, leaning into my side as we walked through the rain. It was a sticky, uncomfortable cold that fell over Forks. The rain melted away the snow and left awful, murky puddles in it's wake. My nose tingled with the cold of the afternoon, and Jackson's hand was clammy in mine.

Together we drove home, I quizzed him on his multiplication. Hoping that maybe he would open up to me, I had never seen him so oddly quiet. Running my fingers through his hair as I drove I peeked over at him when he sighed.

"How was your day?" I asked, glancing both ways before crossing an intersection. Jackson twiddled his thumbs and fluttered his eyelids at the passenger window for a long moment before he responded.

"It was...okay." He leaned away from my hand to reach up and twist his fingers through mine. "Mommy, what do girls like?"

My lips twitched almost clumsily on my face as I grinned at him. "By girls do you mean Valeria?" Jackson's face reddened immensely as he shook his head too quickly, too sharply to ever be believed. "I don't know Jackie, different girls like different things."

His green eyes hardened suddenly, forcing my throat to tighten up around a painful lump. "What do you like?" He questioned, looking to me hopefully.

Jasper flashed across my mind and it was all but impossible to keep from gasping. "Shoes," I answered swiftly winking at him while he rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry Jackson, I don't know what to tell you sweetie. Why don't you ask Grandpa or Edward next time you see them?" I suggested, not mentioning Emmett for fear he would tell Jackson to grab the poor girl's bum.

He continued to press the question until I'd made him have a bath. At that point Jackson lost interest in girls, and centered his attention to sinking the imaginary sailors in his plastic submarine.

While I darted in and out of rooms upstairs, packing and hanging all my new clothes, Jackson and I discussed the trip to the beach Emmett was planning. Apparently the blue swim trunks I'd bought him last month simply wouldn't do.

I had clearly forgotten how quickly a five-year-old changed their favourite colours. Jackie, like me, chose colours based on his moods and today he had chosen red. Red because Valeria's hair was red, though he wouldn't admit it.

Standing in the kitchen, I carefully read over the stir fry recipe Esme had written for me, when there was a knock on the door. Placing a large glass lid on the stainless steel pot, I paused in the kitchen to listen for splashing. Holding in my laughter I distinctly heard Jackson shouting, "Dive! Dive! Dive!" Figuring he was safe and sound where he was, I darted into the front hall.

Peering into the eyehole, all I could see was red. "What on earth...?" I whispered, unlocking the door and flashing a wide toothy smirk when I found a massive bouquet of slender red tulips.

Jasper smiled down at me, and for a second I was devastated by his height. Lord, it felt like I hadn't seen him in years! "Hi." I bumbled moronically, moving out of the doorway to allow him entrance.

My fingers grasped the crackly plastic folded around the bright flowers. Jasper nodded, "Hi." Instantly I was on my toes to accept his kiss, soft and brief as it was.

Touching the silk soft petals I felt my grin grow even larger. "Tulips?" I cocked an eyebrow at him as I kicked the front door shut again. Jasper's lips fidgeted faintly as he shrugged.

"You, ma'am, don't seem like a rose type. Tulips are much more beautiful anyway." Jasper explained, walking alongside me as I paced into the kitchen, which smelt of sautéing vegetables and frying chicken.

I rolled my eyes slow enough for him to see clearly. "Do you say that to every girl?" Jasper's blue eyes widened a fraction before he pursed his lips and set his fist beneath his chin in mock thought.

After a lengthy moment, he reached out to curl his fingers under my chin. "Just this one." He winked at me and I could have sworn my heart tried to burst right out of my chest.

Jasper help me set the table, laying out the white placemats and the tall crystal glasses. "Where did you go?" I asked quietly, setting out a jug of fruit punch and a carton of chocolate milk for Jackson.

The confusion that made up Jasper's expression seemed to make his face appear more angular. He leaned unnecessarily close to me and I smiled goofily while repeating my question.

"Oh," Jasper bit his lip, holding my tulips while I picked out a vase to host them. "Um, I had to go...out of town for a while-" Jasper's eyes became noticeably nervous which seemed to make me twice as anxious "-for therapy and training."

His eyes, piercing and focused never lost their warmth as he waited for me to completely understand. I filled the vase up with cool water, trying to make myself relax when I responded. "Training?" My voice was shrill, frightened...almost _betrayed_.

Blonde tresses came into Jasper's face when he leaned back onto the edge of the table. "They want me back, Alice." His eyes narrowed as if he was trying to force himself to look remorseful.

I knew he was doing this for me, not himself. From the very first night he'd come into my home and spoken to me, I had known Jasper wanted to go back, to lead, to be _useful_. But that didn't mean I wanted to accept it.

Resting the vase on the counter I crossed my arms over my chest. I held my chin high, pressed my lips together and tried to replicate the expression Rosalie used when she was angry with Emmett.

Jasper tilted his head, his deep, unfairly sexy lilt even sounded wrong to me. "I have to go back." His expression was hopeful, sweet. "I'm getting better, my hearing is coming back...little by little."

I opened my mouth to speak when a boom derailed my concentration. Jackson bounded into the kitchen, coming to a skidding to an almost violent halt just between Jasper and I.

"Jackie," I scolded, my tone weak and exasperated. "What have I said about jumping down the stairs?" Shaking my head at him Jackson's nose wrinkled and great, toothy smirk came over his mouth.

"Not to." He snickered, green eyes glittering with mischief. Jackson's black hair was still wet and soapy, which convinced me he had done more playing than washing in the tub.

He whirled on his heels to peer up at Jasper, I could see the effort he put into maintain a polite tone when he said, "Hello Mr. Jasper." I should've been worried about Jackson's aggression, but for once in my life I couldn't find the energy.

Jackson ran into the living room, I heard him thud onto the floor before the television came on. I returned to my cooking, not exactly sure what I was doing anymore. Jasper's presence in the room smothered me, it was as if he could fill the entire area merely by willing to do so.

Staring at the vegetables in the large black pan, sizzling away I became irritated by the crackling pop and turned the stovetop off. Taking the pan I then went on to scrape everything I'd made into the garbage.

Bringing out every box of popsicles I had and each freezing tub of ice cream I spread them out on the table. Once I called Jackson for supper Jasper grasped my arm.

"I'm sorry." He breathed, drawing me against him. I didn't protest. Jasper wrapped his arms around me securely, causing me to feel tinier than I'd ever felt before in my entire life.

Jackson cleared his throat rudely, shaking the table when he jerked his chair out. I didn't separate from Jasper until I was absolutely certain I could handle doing so.

Jackson pried the lid off of the neo-palatine ice cream, speedily collecting his spoon to scoop into the strawberry half. Jasper chuckled, "Something tells me you've done this before."

I gazed sharply across the table at him. "Just when I break up with a boyfriend." Jasper stiffened but I continued, not looking at him when I spoke, "Some girls like cookie dough, I like popsicles."

Jackie's eyes flickered between us, settling on me with something that appeared to be worry. Before he could fret in earnest I made quick work of a subject change, "So Valeria..." I began and Jackson groaned.

Jasper followed along with me, maintaining his gentlemanly tone, as if he was completely unharmed by all that I'd said. "Girl you like?" He asked, his delicious drawl coiled firmly around the words. Jackson's face burned red, from chin to hairline. I cheered outright when he finally nodded.

"Is that so?" Jasper smiled genuinely, though I could tell he believed this to be mere puppy love. I, however; had to assume differently. It was our greatest weakness as Cullens, we all love too easily. "Does she um," Jasper met and held my gaze with a ferocity that made my skin crawl. "Does she like you back?"

Jackson's face was overwhelmed by guilt, such an expression made my heart still for a long while. "Not anymore." He sighed, glancing at me with glossy green eyes.

Jasper's eyes hardened as he stared me down, he did it in such a manner I don't think I could have looked away even if I had the ability. "I know the feeling." He rumbled, releasing me at last to dig into the same ice cream Jackie was eating.

"Did you try giving her flowers?" I asked, fighting myself to keep from looking at the colossal bouquet of tulips on the edge of the table. Only now did I realize how difficult it was to be at odds with Jasper, it wasn't something I enjoyed very much.

Jackson pressed his lips together, causing the baby fat around his mouth to crease. I thought it was adorable despite the circumstances and couldn't help myself when I giggled.

When reality sunk in again, I noticed how Jasper was watching me. Not in the almost spiteful way he had before, no, this was admiration colouring the blue of his eyes. He smiled at me the way he had when we first met, the dimple in his chin showing more, the curve of his lips almost hypnotic.

I just about screamed at the sensation his simple glance put on me.

"Well, err, I put worms in her hair today." Jackson simultaneously destroyed my moment with those nine words. I was certain I heard my heart thump on the hardwood, and actually peered down to make sure it was still inside of me.

Jasper laughed, a warm, thundering laugh that consumed the room with it's contagiousness. "You didn't!" He sounded slightly winded when he turned to Jackson's delighted face.

My son nodded sternly, "Yeah, I did." A big smile came over his mouth, "They were pink like the berets in her hair, so I thought she'd like them." He shrugged innocently, honestly believing he had done this poor girl a favour.

Then Jackson frowned, slouching deep in his chair, "But she got all mad and pushed me in a puddle-" his eyes widened with the horror of the memory "-she said she didn't want to play with me anymore – Mommy!"

I reached out to Jackson, tipping my chair slightly to curl my fingers in the slick mess of his ink coloured hair. "Jackson Brandon! You never, _ever_ touch a girl's hair!" His panic only increased, but I couldn't push the laughter away, and before I knew it I was just barely managing to form a proper sentence.

"I dumped my pudding on a girl in first grade." Jasper smirked, making both my son and I gasp. He nodded proudly, though his smug expression was easily replaced by one of sincerity. "But I'm pretty sure they like the nice guys, not the ones that put worms in their hair."

Jackson listened intently to Jasper's advice, as if this information was crucial to his existence. He nodded, _ohh_ed and _ahh_ed at everything Jasper had to pass on. I watched the guardedness begin to fade from Jackson's eyes, and was confident that he had come to accept Jasper.

Ironic that they should come to terms just as Jazz was leaving. I wished I could go back and stop myself from ever coming in contact with Jasper Whitlock.

After dinner was finished and I'd acquired a terrible brain freeze, I dismissed Jackson to his bedroom with the promise that I would soon tuck him in. Jasper lingered in the kitchen, as if he expected me to say something. But, what was there left to say?

"When are you leaving?" I asked, positioning my vase in the centre of the table, twisting and turning it until the glass perfectly reflected the kitchen light. Jasper dropped the tulips into the water, leaves rustling together as they settled in their new home.

He shrugged, "I don't know. When my hearing comes back, I guess." His response was so simple, I felt the undying need to yell at him for a more substantial answer.

"Why can't you just say it never came back?" My voice rose slightly, and I instinctively looked upward, wondering if Jackson had heard anything. Jasper tilted his head at me, not needing to speak to convey his reply. I squinted up at him, slouching back onto the edge of the table. "_I_ want you to _stay_."

Jasper took the room in few strides, looming over me as he rested his palms on the table at either side of my hips. He touched the tip of his nose to mine with great effort to stoop to my height level.

Putting my hands over my face I tried not to think of Tristan, of Rosalie, of how right they both were about me. "You weren't supposed to hurt me." My voice cracked, and in the darkness of my palms I saw the old Alice fall into the shadows entirely. I have never been more certain that I would never see her again.

"Alice!" Jasper's voice was fearful when he drew my hands back. I was sure that my teary face was not an attractive one. "Stop it," He kissed me softly, so softly I couldn't be positive he had actually done it. "You're _my_ girl, you'll always be my girl."

I snorted, "I love how you think that will make a difference." I bit back angry tears, wondering to myself if this was how Rosalie felt every time she laid eyes on him. "Why did you have to do this? Couldn't you have just not told me?"

Jasper smiled a gentle smile, "You would have been happier if I just vanished?" He shook his head, sending golden tresses about his face. "I'm sorry ma'am if I'm confused, I've never come across a woman who _wanted_ me to lie to her." I tilted my head back and felt my bangs slant on my forehead, Jasper kissed my forehead.

"I don't like this, Alice." He murmured, coarse palms rising to take my face between them. "What you're feeling," He added quietly. I almost laughed, so perhaps he did know everything passing through me.

Dropping my head against his chest, I could almost taste the scent Jasper exuded. It was intoxicating. "I'm not going anywhere Alice, I'll always come back." He spoke against the shell of my ear, making my whole being rattle.

I tilted my head so my mouth rest atop Jasper's. "You can't die." I closed my eyes, hating the thought the minute it came to my mind. "That's all I want."


	13. A trip to the Doctor's

Sorry I took forever, I'm kinda everywhere at once :P but I'M BACK! Anyways, I hope the chapter is awesome :) won't know unless you guys tell me, and if ya have any ideas or suggestions it'd be cool if you guys filled me in too :D

~Selene

* * *

Would it be strange if I said I had never done this before?

I couldn't think of a single time Tristan and I had laid in my bed and he had just...held me for the entire evening. Was that wrong? It must be, though; it was almost as if I had not known anything better.

Until Jasper, of course.

Currently, he was spread over the couch when I walked into the living room, so absorbed in his book he hadn't heard me say, "Earth to Jazzy." I squinted at the cover, so tattered and well-used I couldn't make sense of the title even slightly.

Looking at him now, I realized just how tiny my furniture is. No, perhaps I'm wrong, maybe it's just Jasper who's too big. And here I thought I only had this issue with Emmett!

He finally took notice to me when I crawled over his legs, I smiled when he grunted out a very firm, "Mmm!" Stretching myself around his legs, to either side of his hips, Jasper occasionally sent a fleeting glance over the top edge of his novel. I couldn't see it, but his eyes, great bottomless blue depths, promised me he was smiling.

Pressing my lips together I manoeuvred myself under the gates of his arms to collapse atop his smooth body, ducking my face into the curve of Jasper's shoulder. I skimmed the page he was on, and the next several that came, before deciding it was unbelievably boring.

I made innocent movements, shuffling one leg this way and the other that way, pausing between to flicker my eyes up at him. I admired Jasper's focus – this I couldn't deny – and I would, any other day be glad to settle here against him and bask in the endless current of his concentration. Just not _now_.

Holding my bottom lip carefully between my teeth, I slipped my left leg up and across the grey fabric of his thermal, until it rest securely against his hip. Jasper's eyes didn't leave the flimsy yellowing pages before him, however; the tone of his voice was enough to make me stash away in the soft bend of his throat, "Behave Alice."

Not hiding my pout I glared long and hard at him, knowing that although he wouldn't see it, Jasper would feel it like no other. He turned his head if only a fraction, the outside light catching the pale stubble across his chin, casting a bright gleam across the right side of Jasper's face.

Now I couldn't help myself. It wasn't a taxing task to seek out one of Jasper's scars and when I found one, shiny and rumpled on the side of his neck, I bit it. Not hard, never hard, enough that his eyelids would noticeably droop and his hips would shift below mine.

In that moment, I wondered if there were other couples that did...love _bites_. It should sound utterly ridiculous, and believe me I know it does, but you wouldn't immediately come to that conclusion when it's Jasper's skin and Jasper's teeth.

He glanced at me sternly growling out my name and making me shrink back once more. Peeking through my eyelashes I gazed at his book for ten short seconds and decided that I had to do this, I just couldn't sit here with him like this any longer.

"What's so fantastic about philosophy anyway?" I sulked, twisting a wavy lock of his hair around my index finger. "You're not going to find the meaning of life in there." Jasper's lips twitched, the dimple in his chin becoming more pronounced in this lighting.

His arms dropped slightly, his elbow seated on the base of my back. "You can never find something you're looking for, Alice." And with those final words of wisdom he returned to his reading, the quiet murmur of flipping pages making me sigh.

Running my the tip of my nose along the curve of his jaw to his temple I murmured, "That doesn't make sense, if you're not looking for it how then do you suppose you'll come across it, oh Wise and All Knowing One?" Jasper's chuckle was warm, every part of him was warm. It made me dizzy.

His novel held tightly in his left hand, while he grazed the knuckles of his right from the curve of my elbow to my wrist, shining blue eyes never parting with his book. "I came across you, didn't I?"

My face burned, God did I ever want him badly. I smirked against his temple, the curls of his hair tickling my face. "I was waiting for you for a long time, Major Whitlock." The corners of Jasper's mouth lifted, his smile widening.

His arms encircling me came stronger for a minute, holding me snugly to him. Jasper exhaled, the breath fanned across my skin and made me shiver, I could practically feel every hair on my body rising in anticipation.

I continued to prowl over him, leaving a trail of gentle nibbles from his chin to his earlobe then I pressed my lips to the incredibly soft skin behind Jasper's left ear. His head tilted back slightly, lips parting in a silent groan, I grinned victoriously while he regained his composure.

I'm not the only one with a sweet spot Jasper Whitlock, I thought triumphantly. Though just as fast as the words came to mind his hands were set on my waist, putting me away from him. "Alice," Jasper warned, his expression exasperated though his eyes wanted to play.

Gnashing my teeth together, I pushed myself up off the couch, stomping into the other room and straight up the stairs. Oh, believe me, I can play hardball too!

Reaching my enormous closet, I began flicking through outfits, disappointed with all of my findings when abruptly a great plastic bag fell down from atop my shelves. "What the...?" I mumbled to myself, kneeling to open the crumpled bag, laughing wickedly at what I discovered within it.

It didn't take me long to change, though perfecting my outfit proved to be a difficult choice of action. I stood before the long mirror within the confines of my closet, picking and pruning until I was flawless.

Revelling in the click of my heels on the hardwood, I held the railing to my winding stairs carefully, gliding down with an aura of resilience. I stood in the doorway to the living room, fists on my hips as I cleared my throat demanding his notice.

Jasper's brow furrowed, his eyes flickering across the page before he blinked over at me. He turned to his book once again, before the feeble paperback slipped entirely from his fingers. Jasper's eyes went over me once, twice, widening a fraction before he laughed, "You've got to be kidding me."

Peering down, I struggled to remain absolutely immobile, my attempt to keep from ruining the utter faultlessness.

My boots were leather and beige, cowboy boots that had pretty designs embedded around the ankles. Unfortunately I did not have legs like Rosalie, which was a reason I avoided shorts, though this would have to be an exception.

I wore distressed and fraying short-shorts which, had I had even the slightest hint of a bum, would certainly show a fair portion of it. They were low-rise, barely holding to the slender bend of my hips, they were denim and surprisingly comfortable.

My tummy was bare, leading up to the white halter-top that left little to the imagination. It was loose, teasingly low and draped around my torso, which made me feel much more naked than I actually was.

Jasper, after tucking the corner of his page, slid gradually to his feet. My stomach went into a series of wicked knots, I did not open my mouth for fear that the butterflies I was holding inside might flutter past my tongue.

Tilting my head back to meet his admiring gaze I smirked gloriously, welcoming the coarse feel of his palms when they met the instantly electrified smooth of my flesh. I closed my eyes and melted into the rough push of his fingertips on my sides, allowing my heart to stumble and race as he scaled my body to my shoulders.

With a shuddering exhale I peeked up at Jasper again, unable to keep from smiling when he took the brown cowboy hat from the ebony disarray of my hair. Jasper rolled his eyes at me, placing the hat on his head and nodding down at me. "Alright, I'm listening."

I am content to be in Jasper's arms again, more so than I am to be getting what I want. Rosalie's resentment for him only confuses me more when I am with him this way, I've never met a more...more _passionate_ person in my life.

Our height difference is shown the minute Jazz lurches over to collect me in his arms. Twining my fingers in his hair, I find within his gaze a seriousness I have never seen before. I vaguely remember Rosalie's final comment, something having to do with Jasper's sense of control, a control that I've never seen out of place.

Which makes me want to break it down...

Conquering his mouth with little effort, I give way to the brush and trace of his palms, finding their unfamiliarly memorable roughness to be unbearably arousing.

The cowboy hat that had been situated so perfectly atop his golden curls tumbles helplessly to the floor, as Jazz takes us to my couch. Jasper's breaths are rugged and anxious by the time I'm jerking on the fabric of his thermal.

Watching the ridiculous shirt come off of him, I must say, is almost as incredible as the abrupt contact of his skin on mine. Wrapping my legs around the waistband of his trousers, I tugged gently at the already snarled mess of his hair as Jasper punched the wall beside us.

As adorable and inappropriately revealing as these shorts are, I'm beginning to find them more of a hindrance than a necessity. There came what could have been something of a whine deep in my throat, for them to be removed.

Jazz's mouth departed from mine, leaving my lips swollen and yearning still. However; the connection of his lips, his teeth, his tongue on the hot flesh of my throat and shoulder easily dissolved the disappointment.

More now than ever, I want to see him break, shatter to a million pieces. Pressing my palm to the marred flesh of Jasper's chest, we noisily toppled to the floor with a bang. Gasping faintly, Jasper's blue eyes sought my gaze with something that looked like apprehension.

He held my legs on either side of his waist, sitting up then to coil his arms around me. "Don't." My voice was timid, and I couldn't seem to muster the courage that I had nursed in the doorway only moments ago. Between my palms, I held Jazz's face slipping away from him only an inch.

"Don't hide from me, Jasper." I murmured, fingers grazing the terrible scars that scattered over the broad span of his shoulders. His eyes understood as if he felt my comment more than heard it, as if he felt everything.

Jasper breathed out in a lengthy gust, his hands biting into my sides. "I'm not," His expression made a liar out of the sincere words he mumbled. Softly, I kissed his nose, the almost invisible dimple on his chin, and shook my head.

"Don't lie to me either." I narrowed my eyes on him, pulling my nail across the ruffled flesh of another scar. "Be vulnerable," I hadn't meant to sound half as beseeching as I did, but was happy nonetheless when he opted to try.

It was an inelegant mess of kisses and clutches before we reached our destination. But I was glad to be joined with him again in this way. Jasper made me forget, made me feel whole. No, perhaps those are the wrong words. He just makes me..._feel_.

I'd never felt so small before, I know I've always been tiny, it's just the way Jasper held me made me feel even punier than before. His arms were like unbreakable chains, looped around my back crushing me against his chest.

Jazz kept his face hidden away from me, secreted in the bend of my shoulder and neck. Only the shaken spurts of his breaths on my skin proved any of this was real.

"Slow." My voice was but a whisper, nothing like the jubilant chime I was used to. Jasper held me tighter, I wound my arms around his shoulders, our bodies seeming to speak a language only they could interpret. "Slower." I could feel all his scars, the long ones, the fatter ones, each misshapen ruffles of flesh now embedded in my own skin.

I drew him closer, our chests pressing together with each rasping breath we took. That same terribly vivid gorge approached me, creeping ever closer with our every movement. "Alice," Even Jazz's explicitly delicious drawl was shaken, he tensed beneath me, every muscle and fibre tuning to marble.

Digging my nails into his shoulders I gaped out the long living room windows and into the murky, grey outdoors as I plunged into the depths of that colourful void.

We sat there for what felt like ages, goose bumps layering every inch of our bodies, until Jasper drew back. Grey afternoon light spilled over the planes of his chest, unsmooth skin shimmering faintly. His scars were shinier and in this light I could see them all, each and every one spread over his torso. Thousands of unfading nightmares.

"Happy now?" His tone was light and carried by a sarcasm that seemed to make his accent heavier. I met his blue eyes carefully, wondering what lay in their oceanic depths that did not in Tristan's gaze.

My mouth fell open and instead of some witty retort, was a breathy request that somewhat stunned us both. "Will you be my date? My date to my company party."

Jasper rolled his eyes, his large hands falling from their position clutching at my sides, to raise and comb his chaotic hair. "Your attention span baffles me sometimes." He admitted with a sly grin, shaking his head a fraction while my cheeks blazed. Jasper nodded slowly, appearing more exhausted than his voice would let on, "Of course I will be, you didn't have to ask."

I felt like Bella, blushing the way I was. Leaning against him again I held Jasper's body as close as physicality would allow. It was an odd feeling, how his heart beat against mine, each at a different pace, yet so oddly in tune. "I'm sorry," I smiled, falling down with him when his body slouched back farther.

"Alice!" Jasper gasped abruptly, sitting up straight and drawing me away from him. The shock in his eyes gave my body horrible chills, Jasper clutched at my shoulders a moment longer before saying, "Jackson!"

My jaw fell open as my hands made to cup my face, "Oh God! What time is it?"

Never have I gotten dressed faster than I did in the mere seconds it took to dart upstairs, and throw on jeans and a leather jacket. Jasper was at the door in the clothes he was previously wearing by the time I'd bounded into the front hall.

We raced into the hallway, to the shining elevator doors. I struggled off tears and terrible images of Jackson, waiting for me outside in the rain, while pressing the down key until my index finger ached. Slithering through the opening bronze doors, I was already hitting the lobby button when Jasper joined me.

He held my shoulders, pressing his thumbs into my skin through my coat. "Relax Alice, he's not there alone." Jasper's voice was soothing making it difficult not to fade into it's intoxication drawl.

Once we reached the lobby I didn't even break to say hello to Andrew at the front desk, speeding outside and towards Jasper's Mercedes. He unlocked the door in time for me to climb into the passenger's seat, the anxiety clawing away at my stomach as I waited for him to get in with me.

The Mercedes purred, coming to life with the simplest of Jasper's hand motions. I played with my seatbelt, needing something to focus my apprehension on. Jasper's eyes did not part with the road the whole drive, he seemed so much more in control than I was, which would have bothered me any other day.

My stomach, I could feel within my throat, toiling away as I twisted and turned the slippery seatbelt fabric. I stared at Jasper's hands as he drove, the white of his knuckles and the stiff bend of his fingers.

When we stopped at a red light I nearly shrieked, firmly closing my eyes and holding my breath deep inside my gut. I'd never been late before – _never_!

"Drive faster," I whispered, my tone beseeching. Jasper's eyebrows began to knit together, his hectic blond hair swaying around his face when he turned to me. His palm was warm on my thigh, like a ray of sun searing through the dark denim of my pants.

The next four stop signs became blurs as Jasper's eyes flickered about the intersection and we blazed through.

The quiet of the engine made itself known as Jasper changed gears, easily surpassing the respectable speed limit. We whipped into the school parking lot, I would have jumped out before the Mercedes came to a halt, but Jasper's hand held me captive.

I climbed out and into the moist, cold Forks air, feeling the slightest hints of rain on my cheeks. The only thing stopping me now was the burgundy Chevrolet Equinox positioned faintly crooked in the parking spot beside us.

Taking a deep breath I ran my palm over my chest, wondering were my heart had gone. Jasper's door slammed as I pivoted on the balls of my feet, staring down the pathway to the school doors, where Tristan was talking to Scott and holding Jackson's hand.

I took all of two steps around the front of the sleek black Mercedes before Jasper's steeled arm stopped me in place. He growled, "No," without making any eye contact, I could see the muscles of his jaw at work and the cogs in him head tick away.

About eight different expressions flashed over his features, brief emotions that faded as quickly as they came. Jasper strode away from me and down the blackened pavement towards my son.

The small, slouching hooded form standing beside Tristan's lean figure, turned on his heels and appraised the oncoming disaster. Jackson's green eyes moved over Jasper with an unseeing delight and, he gazed beyond his trudging body to where I stood.

It seemed too easy that Jackson ripped his arm from Tristan's and came sprinting down the walkway, stepping in all the puddles as he went. I smiled out of instinct, wanting to meet his excitement with my own, when Tristan turned and glared at me.

I coughed, hand on my throat as I inhaled sharply. This moment reminded me of the time Bella crashed my computer, deleting all of my important contacts, each and every one of my business calendars to leave me with a frozen screen. Of course Edward fixed it, but still, there were those seconds where the whole system blew. That's what my innards felt like. Sudden deletion.

While focusing on how to reboot myself, I heard a noise that I couldn't be sure was totally real. At least, not until I took the time to look and discover it was Jackson, making this God awful whining sound. Then I regarded his facial expression, realized it was pain and began striding towards him.

My quick steps effortlessly turned to a jog which became a sprint, as I dropped to pry Tristan's fingers from Jackson's forearm. All sorts of different sounds poured in then, Mother's gasping, Father's rushing towards us, children calling for their parents, but mostly men shouting.

"Stop it Tristan, you're hurting him!" To me I was screaming at the top of my lungs, but I was certain that no one had heard a word that came from my lips.

Jasper's ferocious voice intermingled with Tristan's cursing and Scott's pleading. Jackson pawed at my coat with his free hand, kicking his feet about and moaning loud enough to almost shatter another octave.

"..._Your_ fucking son?" Tristan snapped, yanking again on Jackson's arm, electing another whimper. "Excuse me if I fail to see the link that connects you to either of them!"

Jasper's hands balled into fists, I didn't stop to wonder if he could hear a word coming from Tristan or Scott's mouth. But stopped instantaneously when I heard the deafening crack of skin colliding.

All at once Tristan's fingers slipped from Jackson's arm, and he staggered back a step. Jackson screamed once and for all, lunging into my grasp and sobbing onto my jacket.

Wrapping my arms around him, I peeked upwards to see the two Fathers that had come to restrain Jasper, who appeared calmer than I'd ever seen him. This, in itself, seemed to make him even more terrifying.

Tristan swore, only now gathering all my attention. I looked up to find him with his hand over his nose, red staining his fingers and dripping from his wrists.

He groaned, shoving away Mr. Tory when he tried to help. Tristan's emerald eyes found me and Jackson, huddling on the ground, my grasp tightening. "You're gonna regret this one Alice, that's a fucking promise." He hissed, making me flinch when he spat blood on the ground not an inch from me.

Tristan hobbled off, shouting at a lady who threatened to call the police – that would be perfect, for Charlie to see me like this. Ugh.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Jackson squirmed, drawing my attention again, I mussed his hair, kissing his tears away. Jackson clutched my t-shirt underneath my coat, speaking over hiccups.

"What is it baby?" I asked, holding him close, "Are you hurt anywhere?" It seemed as if a million different people were speaking to me as I soothed Jackie, asking all sorts of questions I just couldn't answer yet. He was my only concern, if they would just wait...

"He's alright, he's fine." Scott Tory was saying, waving people off, "A little shaken, but everything is okay now."

As he was reassuring the crowd that had built around us, Jasper kneeled opposite me, turning Jackson over. He made quick work of his puffy blue coat, unzipping the zipper without giving me or anyone else an upwards glance.

Carefully Jasper peeled away the sleeve of the arm Tristan had been holding. I squinted to see what he saw, but instead gasped when Jasper swore, peering up at me with an unyielding concern in his voice. "Alice we need to get him to the hospital?"

"Why?" Both Jackson and I demanded, the horror that had accumulated lingering in each of our voices. Jasper's face became very serious, causing chills to descend my spine.

Jasper made a face, his eyes narrowing on Jackson when he murmured, "He needs an X-ray." I knew he was using words Jackson couldn't quite grasp to keep the boy calm, but it did not have the same effect on me. In an instant I was in tears, helping Jackson into Jasper's arms.

He carried Jackson's limp body to the Mercedes, opening the back door and laying Jackson across the bench with ease. All this time, Jasper remained calm and steady, utterly emotionless while I fluttered about, whimpering and whining.

"Do you need any help, want me to call an ambulance-" Mr. Tory's voice was smooth and helplessly delicious, despite the apprehension that clutched his every syllable. Even still, Jasper cut him off before he could offer any more of his assistance.

He shook his head firmly, robotically. "It's nothing that serious, his forearm is fractured." Jasper almost sounded irritated that Scott was so involved. "I apologize for reacting the way I did, especially in front of children. I'm sure Alice would be grateful if this remained less than it was."

Jasper spoke fluently, so fluently it was like he was speaking in a foreign tongue. Before I, or Mr. Tory knew it, he was retreating inside the driver's side of the Mercedes and starting up the engine.

Scott and I exchanged brief glances before I whispered an apology over my tears. "I'll let you know how he is." I tried to speak the way Jasper had, but my confidence evaded me, sending me around the car to join Jackie in the backseat.

He rested his head in my lap, "Mommy, my arm hurts." Jackson's lower lips trembled, his eyes groggy and bloodshot from crying. I shushed him, petting his hair gently.

"Don't worry, we're going to see Grandpa, he'll take care of you." I smiled down at Jackson, praying he couldn't see how false it truly was. I glanced up to Jasper, sitting wordlessly as he drove, his gaze found mine in the rear-view mirror. They too were expressionless.

I mouthed a thank you, to which Jazz merely nodded, and I felt the car accelerate.


	14. Jasper can be Dirty

Sorry I took forever to post this! I got the new Assassin's Creed so I'm being dead serious when I say I've been willingly locked inside my bedroom playing this game until I started having dreams about it lmfao so I'm starting to go through withdrawl for that now. So far I've lasted like...almost 24 hours without gaming :P ...I'm a nerd, I can't help it! Anyways, tell me what y'all think :D some big events are coming up for Alice and Jasper, some I've mentioned some I haven't so get excited!

~Selene :)

* * *

"He'll need a cast." Carlisle decided squinting at the X-ray pinups. My Father turned to face the three of us, smiling at Jackson. "You can have a blue, green or pink one."

This, in spite of everything that had happened today, made Jackson grin from ear-to-ear. He happily exclaimed, "Blue!"

Jackson sat on one of the firm beds in the hospital room, bouncing gleefully as Carlisle instructed one of his nurses to get a mould for him. Carlisle passed the girl and I pretended not to see her gawk at him once his back was to her.

My Father put his arm around my shoulder's leading me a stride or so out of the room. "You said Tristan did this?" He asked, the compassion his voice was unfailing, but I could certainly detect the outrage within it.

When I nodded, Dad sighed, shaking his head a fraction. "Do you know how hard someone would have to grab a person to _fracture _a bone?" It was a rhetorical question though it did make me shudder.

"He jerked it," I explained, "I thought it would be more of his shoulder than his forearm." Carlisle became pensive, pursing his lips and running a smooth palm over his blond locks. This reminded me thoroughly of Edward.

"Doctor Cullen." The nurse sang, now standing in the hallway no more than a few feet from us. She held a white, tightly sealed bucket covered in different labelling and numbers, about half the size of her torso.

She tilted her head at us so the brunette locks of her hair would tumble over one shoulder. I bit my tongue while she fluttered her eyelashes. Is it just me, or can anyone else see the thick white-gold band on my Father's ring finger?

"Thank you Melissa, if you want to get started, I'll join you in a moment." Carlisle dismissed her with a nod and a warm smile, pivoting on his heels to sigh exasperatedly at me before we both slipped back inside the room.

Jackson held his arm out for the nurse with some effort, he bit his lip and gazed around the room, emerald eyes sparkling where the light touched them.

I stared at the great bruise on his forearm, just before his elbow crease. It was a misshapen blotch, the colour of ink in the center, gradually turning a ghastly shade of purple then a sallow, sickly yellow bordering the outside.

The colours reminded me of a spaghetti-strapped evening gown Kourtney wore at a fashion show we unwillingly attended together. Of course, that was French silk, not the result of a forearm fracture.

The bone that had previously been protruding from Jackson's arm had been pushed back into it's natural position. However, the sheer knowledge that some part of my son had been _broken_ continued to rattle me to my core.

And all this, gave me the undying urge to shop, to shelve the anxiety of the afternoon and hide myself in expensive denims, velvets, satins, until I was asphyxiated by them.

Jackie's giggling broke my concentration, and I found him laughing at the blue mush being smeared across his arm. He wouldn't be pleased once the mould hardened and he could no longer move within it.

I brushed my fingers through my hair, momentarily gleeful at the satin-soft disarray that met my skin. Glancing over at Jasper, I found his expression to be one that was so stiff, so impossibly passive that it was unnerving.

His hair curved around the angular bends of his features, blond wisps that seemingly twisted themselves to perfection. He held his arms tensely over his chest, the fabric of his grey thermal soaked through to a black where the rain had caught him.

For a brief while I tried to wonder how this had all occurred – to wrap my head around it, so to speak. How I had gone from feeling so safe, so incredibly jubilant in Jasper's arms, to a mangled assortment of emotions, clammy skin and damp clothes currently standing in the hospital.

Turning to Jackie again I was curious to know what made him so..._happy_. He doubtlessly saw rainbows in spite of the hell that churned around him. Tilting my head at him, I assessed the wide smile and flash of small, square baby teeth and glittering green eyes.

I would be happy if that was where Alice had gone. Where the old me had decided to bury herself. He was the perfect host after all, so bright and helplessly optimistic.

I could continue to be this..._assortment_, as long as I knew that Jackie was okay, that who I once was, was okay.

"Alice," Jasper touched my shoulder, I almost jumped at the abrupt contact. At a loss for words, I peeked up at him through my lashes, ducking my head in the unsmooth, scarred flesh of his neck.

His palm flattened on my back, pressing me closer to his body, his security. "Your worrying is giving me a headache," He smiled briefly and kissed my face.

Carlisle cleared his throat quietly, "How does it feel?" He asked, I glanced across the room once more. Jackson's face was scrunched, he waved his arm around in the air, grunting when he realized how restrained he was.

We waited a moment when he finally groaned and muttered, "I can't move, Grandpa." Jackson's brow furrowed as he gazed around the dimly lit room before making eye contact with me at last. "I can't do anything Mommy. Is this gonna be forever?"

I cleared my throat, waiting for my voice to return before whispering, "No sweetie, it'll just be for a month or so." My voice, thankfully, did not betray me this time and I smiled inwardly.

Carlisle sent us home with the promise of coming to check in on Jackie every once in a while. I held Jackson on my hip while the three of us stood in the elevator up to Jasper's apartment. He snored quietly into my throat, occasionally grasping at my jacket with his capable hand.

"Is there anything else I should know about Tristan?" Jasper asked, the lilt of his accent making my skin crawl in spite of his topic choice. I pressed my lips together, ducking my face into Jackson's hair while gently shaking my head.

The elevator dinged to signal our exit as Jasper responded with, "I would feel more relaxed with a little knowledge of my enemy." I still withheld my answer, feeling more like blueprints for a war ground than a person.

Jasper's mood switch was nearly tangible as I followed him down the hallway, where a small, withered lady was fumbling with her door keys. Her silver hair piled high atop her head in a tight bun, she hunched over herself in attempt to collect the keys from the ground.

It seemed Jasper was beside me one moment, then snatching up her keys the next. He flicked easily through the ring of bronze before finally sliding the correct key into the slot and opening the door wide for her.

"Ah, thank you Major Whitlock." The woman smiled a soft, practiced smile before adjusting her glasses to lay eyes on Jackson and I. Her thin lips formed a surprised O before she peered up at him and smirked.

A red hue conquered Jasper's face before he could compose it. "Jasper would you mind carrying that in for me?" She asked, scuttling into doorway before he got the chance to reply.

I paced slowly to join him, waiting silently in the doorway while he gathered the brown bag of groceries that had been sitting beside the lady. Jasper carried the bag into her home, vanishing through another doorway.

The smell of an exotic perfume pulsed from the woman's home, an intoxicating scent that made me dizzy. Perhaps an Italian cologne of some sort? I'd have to remember the smell on my next trip to Florence.

Jasper strode out from the room again, grinning at the woman who followed him. "Alice, this is Ms. Olsen," He spoke smoothly, distracting me with the almost harmonious tune of his voice. I clutched Jackson to my chest, it was an effort to shake Ms. Olsen's hand and hold him.

She nodded at me wordlessly, grey eyes scanning every inch of my body before her smile widened even more. "And this is...?" Ms. Olsen lowered her voice to a whisper, directing our attention to Jackson.

"My son," I mumbled into the dark silk of Jackson's hair, averting Ms. Olsen's gaze. Jasper placed his hand on my shoulder, I could practically feel the heat of his skin right through my clothes.

"Ahh," Ms. Olsen nodded, smiling another gentle smile. There was so much understanding in her eyes it almost made me sick to my stomach. For a split second I wondered if she would think I was some delinquent like Daisy did. "You two look good together," She said cheerily. "She holds you together quite nicely Jasper."

Jasper cleared his throat gruffly, combing his fingers through his shaggy hair. "Thank you," I put on the famous Cullen smile while I spoke, and flashed my teeth vibrantly at her.

After saying goodbye to Ms. Olsen, we proceeded down the hallway to Jasper's apartment. He eased the door open gradually, stretching in the front forayer.

"She seemed nice," I laughed, toeing my shoes off before passing Jazz in the hall to carry Jackson into the living room where I left him on the couch.

Jasper nodded in agreement, then slowly shook his head. "You didn't answer me." He held his arms over his chest and for a long while, stood there watching me, as if he expected my life with Tristan to come spewing from my pores.

I made a face at Jasper, hoping to better project my revulsion. "It won't happen again," I muttered, surely sounding as hesitant as I felt. "He doesn't think about the things he does before he does them. It's...it's not his...fault."

Clenching my teeth I stared at the black bangs dangling before my eyes. Where did those words come from? Why did those words come out?

Jasper's eyes locked onto my mouth as if he was waiting for the big punch line. I sighed, holding my hands against my temples as I strode into the kitchen.

"What I'm saying is: he's not like _that_...always." I stood against the counter, narrowing my eyes on him as he moved about the kitchen, so quiet, so thoughtful.

Why wasn't Jasper upset? Why wasn't he shouting at me?

Tristan would've yelled...

But he wasn't always like that, he could just be angry. I loved what I believed he was, not who he could be.

"You're so tolerant," I grumbled, "It's driving me crazy." Jasper's lips twitched. His blue eyes becoming full with something I couldn't quite grasp, while he watched me speak.

He shrugged so simply I thought for an instant that my head would burst. "I have no reason to be angry with you Alice, it's obvious that you're..._conflicted_ about him." Then Jasper's voice lowered, becoming a menacing sound that made my throat swell. "So far I can't seem to understand how exactly you agreed to marrying him in the first place."

I gagged unintentionally, a rather inappropriate habit I picked up whenever I thought of being so close to Tristan Michaels ever again. And yet, out in the living room, there laid Jackson – a flawless replication of him.

Shaking my head I snapped, "It was a spontaneous idea, I was eighteen, it...it..."

Jasper's hands engulfed mine, great calloused fingers locked around my own. It seemed almost as if the moment he made contact with me, every abstract thought in my mind separated, becoming one fluent stream. The sudden lack of obscurity was so relieving I thought my whole being had departed from the ground. I hadn't even seen him move towards me.

"It's a bit cliché to hear about screwing up from me," Jasper gave me a crooked grin, his left eye shielded by a blonde twist. "But, mistakes happen."

I don't know when I fell asleep after that, I just remember lying in bed with Jasper, wearing another of his shirts. Then waking abruptly to find Jackson curled against my side, yanking at my hair – it was cute when he was a baby, but now it just plain hurt!

Next thing I knew I was sprawled across the span of Jasper's bed, smothering myself with his sheets. Pawing around beneath the duvet I rolled over in search of Jackie, however; the small dip he had been occupying had long since filled out and gone cold.

I bounced speedily out of the sheets in a lethargic daze, yelping when my bare feet met the icy wood panelled floors. There were voices coming from down the hall and I raced to join them, jerking my fingers through my hair as I did so.

At the end of the hall, I discovered Jasper on the couch, Jackson on his knee, the both of them bent over a shiny white laptop on the low coffee table. Their hair was hilarious and I stopped briefly to compose myself before entering.

"Mornin' Mom," Jackson waved just as Jasper lifted his head. I nodded, walking curiously towards where they sat. Glancing at the screen of the computer, I met the dark brown eyes of another man. I jumped up at first, rubbing my eyes while Jackie and Jasper chuckled.

Jasper nodded to the screen then to me, "Alice, this is Major Lucas Dare, a very close friend of mine, he...took over my command when I was shipped back." Jasper's eyes remained on my face as he awaited my response, as if he expected some exaggerated expression to assault me.

I leapt out of the view of the slick black webcam atop Jasper's laptop, glowering at him while I fixed my hair up. Jackson watched me with comical emerald eyes, biting his finger to hold off his laughter.

Leaning back in I waved embarrassedly. It took a few seconds but Major Dare waved back as well, sporting a wide, toothy smile. Only now did I take in his appearance, the beige t-shirt and camouflage he donned, the sun-bleached hair and the burnt red of his glimmering flesh.

Beneath all that sand and sunburn I knew Lucas was probably a very attractive man, but right now all I could focus on was the block letters spelling ARMY across his chest.

I turned to Jasper and sharply shook my head. He frowned at me, clearly aware of my irritation. "He's one of my closest friends Alice," He was swift to defend himself.

Pressing my lips together I squinted at him, then I remembered Jackson and quickly righted myself. "There are several things I would like to say to you Jasper Whitlock..." I clenched my jaw firmly and spoke through my teeth, "We'll talk about this later."

With that I stomped into the kitchen, but not before I heard the words, _"Damn Jazz, you've been busy, eh?"_ The words were choppy and unclear, though the voice was a deep brassy tenor.

Jasper's reply was relaxed and joking, "The perks of being blown up I guess."

Where I stood in the kitchen I winced, shoving the images of all Jasper's scars from my mind. All Jasper's scars, open, burning, _bleeding_...

And he would be going back to that – no! He _wanted_ to go back to it. Ugh! How could someone so incredible make me want to rip my hair out all at the same time?

I stomped around the kitchen childishly. Slamming cupboard doors and purposely scraping the chairs loudly across the tiles when I pulled them out. Actually, I was so annoyed from trying to irritate Jasper that when he finally paid attention to my fit – a half hour later – I was exhausted from staying angry for so long.

Sitting at the table, crushing the crust of the burnt toast I'd made myself, I glowered at him when he strode into the kitchen sporting a grin. "All done?" Jasper was amused, winking at me from underneath a terrible assortment of blond tresses.

Jackson came in shortly after, scraping his nails across the material of his cast. "_Mommy_!" He whimpered, forehead wrinkled to it's most extreme, eyebrows knit together so tightly they cast shadows over his green eyes. I held off my giggle at his fury. "It's so...so..." Jackson's face blanked as he struggled to find the proper word. "So..._there_!"

He pivoted to whack his restrained forearm off the edge of the counter, and I begin to hop from my chair as Jasper snatched his arm. "Trust me, you do not want to do that," Was all he had to say before releasing him again. Jackson squinted at Jasper suspiciously then dropped his arms to his sides again.

As Jackson figured out new methods of working with one arm, I slithered from my chair at the table, slugging towards the counter to rid myself of the tasteless black squares on my plate.

Jasper scoffed at me and shook his head. "You wouldn't last a day at my Mother's house." He grinned a slanted, drowsy, ridiculously sexy grin and I felt his nostalgia all the way down to my curling toes.

I cocked an eyebrow at him as he pointed to the garbage can. "The amount of food you toss away..." He blew out a sharp breath and pushed his hair from his face. "Jasper Whitlock, you'll eat everything on your plate and you won't leave the table until I say you're finished!"

Both Jackson and I laughed at his shrill imitation of his Mother. Jasper tilted his head to an angle I would have thought uncomfortable, though at the moment, all I could concentrate on was how badly I would have liked to place my mouth on that exposed skin. "I hated when she did that," Jasper's nose wrinkled.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I manoeuvred out of Jasper's path, watching his hands as they moved so quietly about the cabinets in search of something. Pressing my forehead against his spine I ran my hands down his sides and over the soft fabric of the old shirt he wore. I'd need to do more shopping, how could I have him walking around like this?

There was the quiet thud of cardboard landing on the counter, I peered under Jasper's arm at the box of pancake mix and sneered. He didn't even give me a sideways glance when he said, "What's that look for? I was under the impression you wanted something real to eat."

Smirking I muttered, "I don't want to eat food," rolling up onto the tips of my toes to bite his shoulder. In what seemed like a fraction of a second to me, Jasper went from clutching white-knuckled at the counter, to gently pushing me away from him.

The expression in his eyes was undistinguishable, but my smirk only grew when he waggled his index finger at me. "Set the table," He ordered stiffly, his words sounding much more like a warning than a command.

With a slow nod I turned entirely on my feet to face Jackson, still sitting at the table, his face scrunched in disgust. "You must have _a lot_ of cooties." He grumbled, eyes darting between Jasper and I.

I made up placemats for Jackson and Jasper, swiftly adding cups and utensils as Jasper cooked away.

"Hey, when are we going to the beach?" Jackson questioned with a tilt of his head, I pursed my lips. In all truth the whole beach trip had become a background thought, I hadn't really had time to center on such things with all that had happened.

"Well, honey, I have a party to go to this week." I whispered with an irritated twitch of my lip, "But I'll call Emmett to see what he has planned." I promised, filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness at Jackson's massive smile.

"A party?" He gasped, pawing at the table in all his excitement. Jasper silently set out their breakfast and took his seat between Jackson and I without a sound.

I nodded and bit my lip for a lengthy period. "Yes, but a business party – with big people and yucky food." Jackson's expression fell as I anticipated. "But-" as soon as I began the light returned to his eyes "-Bella and Edward are going to take you out that night anyways."

Jackson wriggled in his chair, chewing vigorously so he could speak again. He swallowed audibly, making a face as the pancake lump went down heavily. "Bella _and_ Uncle Edward?" His distaste was evident.

I chuckled, "Yes, but don't worry, I'm pretty sure you'll have her all to yourself anyways." Jackson's eyes glittered as he went to inhale another large bit of pancake.

Jasper finally said something again, "This week?" He looked at me curiously when I nodded. "What are you wearing, should we not...match or something?" His face contorted while he spoke around a mouthful.

"I can't tell you," I smiled and tilted my chin up smugly. "It's a surprise, I'm sure whatever you're wearing will be fine."

Jasper snorted, "I already have everything planned."

The rest of our day consisted of me watching Jasper introduce Jackson to everyone overseas via webcam. I stayed out of the view, preferring to deny the whole thing, than ever having to admit Jasper was part of the events going on over there.

We took Jackson out to rent a few movies and stayed in, which was strange for me. I couldn't recall the last time I curled up on the couch with Jackson _and_ guy at the _same_ _time_.

Later that afternoon, while Jackson slept on the floor to an _Air-Bud _movie, I waited for Jasper while he was in the shower. Jasper who was taking _forever_!

Finishing up my email to Elise on my phone, I filled her in on all the details for the party and padded into the master bathroom. Seriously, I don't believe I've ever lost my clothes so fast, though I drew the curtain back and stepped into the shower in what felt like a blink of an eye.

I took one step in and screamed at the top of my lungs. A scream that lasted for all of ten seconds before Jasper's hand clapped over my mouth.

"It's freezing!" My teeth were already chattering, if it hadn't been for Jasper's arm around me I think I may have leapt right from my flesh.

He rolled his eyes at me drastically, shutting the tap off entirely. "How the hell do you shower in water like that?" I demanded, following Jasper straight back out of the shower once again and straight into his towel.

He laughed outright at me, "I don't know, I just kind of got used to it." Jasper snickered at my expression, stretching the green fabric of his towel around the both of us. His hair was the colour of chocolate when it was wet, perfect ringlets. I responded with a very quizzical glance – who the hell bathes in ice cold water?

"Alice," He started. "When you're over there, it's so hot all you want is an ice bath." Jasper shook his head wickedly, sending frozen pelts across the bathroom. "Besides, it's not like we can just stop and shower whenever we want to, water is water so you learn not to process the temperature after a while."

My ears honed in on one thing and one thing alone, so it didn't surprise me very much when I gasped, "What does that mean? How often did you shower?"

Jasper swallowed his laughter, sucking the corner of his lip into his mouth as he shrugged. "Um, whenever I guess, I can't remember really." He couldn't keep himself totally composed when I gagged, shoving him out of the reach of the towel.

"Jasper!" I hissed, "That's disgusting!"

He simply shrugged, unhooking another towel from the back of the bathroom door. He tilted his head at me, winding the white material around his hips as he did so. "Boys will be boys."


	15. Company Gettogethers

Hey guys... it's been um, a while ahahaha. First of all, I had to stop updating cuz I just had probabaly the biggest break up with my boyfriend and I almost deleted all my romance stories cuz they upset me so much. I'm sorry if this chapter is suckish, it was really hard to get back into everything again. I'm working on something a little bit darker, I dunno if I'll post it or not, we'll see. Anyways, just gunna say this now, I know it's a couple DAYS trip to Seattle from Forks...as in I know that NOW. I was more focused on getting Alice there, not on how ahaha, I'm not up on my geography I guess. Okay, here we go, lemme know what y'all think!

~Selene

* * *

In the days that passed, I revisited the party venue with Rosalie and Bella, getting their two thumbs up at long last. Rose wasn't pleased with my colour choice, though it was perfect for Victoria's Secret with the different shades of reds.

Bella cringed and said it reminded her of our unfortunate trip to Italy all those years ago. Edward, so addicted to overreacting, had a falling out with Bella and decided to move away...from all of us. In Italy, Bella, Edward and I had a terrible run in with the Volturi family – close friends of Carlisle's, not ours.

Rosalie winced at the great runway at the very front of the room, claiming, what with the enormous chandelier, it was overly ostentatious. However; she did like my ball gown and my shoes, and Bella liked the food I'd planned for the caterers to bring. After the compliment on my outfit, nothing else really seemed relevant to me.

Before I knew it, Friday was upon me. I was extremely excited for the party, but partially losing my mind because Jasper refused to tell me what he was wearing. I hate surprises. If it was anyone else, I could crack them no problem – it was an off day if someone actually survived keeping a secret from me.

But Jasper had ways of distracting me...

Have you ever spent an entire day in bed before? No? Well I hadn't either. It all started with:

"_Can't you just tell me?" I whined, watching as Jasper's smirk grew and he shook his head. I clenched my teeth, tilting my head to listen for Jackson, I could hear him stomping around in the bathroom upstairs preparing for his bath. _

_Inching closer to him on the couch I pouted, feeling juvenile. Jasper chuckled, "It's only fair Miss Alice, you won't tell me, so I can't tell you." His long fingers mussed my hair gently, the coarse pad of his index finger running along my jaw momentarily. _

_Frowning unbecomingly, I groaned deep in the back of my throat. "Not even a little hint?" I was resilient, placing my hands on his thigh and shaking his leg gingerly. "What if you're wearing plaid-" I grimaced at the thought "-and I'm wearing stripes?" _

_Jasper cocked a curious blond eyebrow at me, "Are you wearing stripes?"_

_I snorted, lifting a hand to hold his jaw between my index finger and thumb. "Nice try Major Whitlock, but you'll have to do better than that."_ _Jasper's expression became very serious, his blue eyes narrowing on my face before he sent a fleeting glance over his shoulder. _

_Jasper drew me into his lap slowly, deliberately while shaking his head again. "Why does it even matter? I'm sure we'll...coordinate anyways." His lips twitched faintly as if he was restraining a very large grin. _

_This made me even more frustrated. Biting my lip I murmured, "It's blue." Jasper's eyebrows seemed to disappear entirely into his hair line, he looked at me for a long while with this shock all over his face. _

_His arms tightened around my waist, pressing our bodies even closer together. He leaned toward me slightly, enough to place the tip of his nose to mine despite our remaining height difference. _

"_You're lying." He smirked against my lips, his hair tickling my face. I grinned sheepishly and nodded. Jasper sighed, his breath fanning across my skin like feathers. The tip of his nose slipped up to my forehead as he closed his eyes. _

_As his palms, rough and hard to ignore, moved across the elastic waist of my track pants, I leaned slightly in an attempt to see through the kitchen doorway to the winding stairs. Distantly, I was certain I could hear the bathtub faucet running. Even still, the mere idea of Jackson so much as hearing us right now, petrified me. _

"_Why is it such a big deal?" I whispered, my will beginning to crumble the moment his mouth grazed my throat. "Just tell me what you're wearing, it's...it's..." What was I talking about again? _

_Jasper gave me a crooked grin, his lips slightly pursed, his hair in his face. "What if I'm not wearing anything?" _

_And that was that. _

I grit my teeth at the memory of the evening. He'd even gone so far as to take Jackson and I out for dinner – just to keep from having to discuss clothing with me! Sometimes he'd even just take out Jackie, the two of them vanishing as soon as Jackson got home from school, returning at all hours of the evening.

The worst of it all was that not even Jackson would tell me anything. Yeah, that's right, Jasper had turned my own son against me!

I did my makeup between making Jackson dinner and doing laundry, ever grateful when Edward and Bella showed up. I smothered Jackson with kisses until he screamed for me to stop, then I made him promise to be careful with his cast.

"Relax Alice, we're just going to the movies, what's the worst that can happen?" Edward muttered, hands in the pockets of the jeans I'd bought him a few weeks ago. I could hear Bella across the hallway with Jackson, her voice timid and quiet, she _oooh_ed and _ahhh_ed whenever Jackie introduced a new toy to her.

Edward cleared his throat softly, I paused for a moment, glancing at him in the mirror. Edward's reflection combed his hair, then crossed his arms over his chest. "Does Rosalie know you're going with Jasper?" He asked, voice calm and harmonious as usual.

I nodded carefully, brushing gently through my eyelashes with mascara. I don't wear much makeup – I simply never need to – but it was fun every once in a while, besides, Bella never let me use my artistic talent on her. The rare times she did, she winced and whined like I was prodding her face with a white-hot poker.

"You're pretty serious about him Alice," Edward sighed after a long moment of quiet. Pursing my lips I flicked through my makeup drawer in search of my favourite lipstick. I didn't want to talk about this with Edward – or anyone for that matter. Why was it such a big deal what I did?

Almost like he could read my mind, Edward forced a little grin and murmured, "I'm just looking out for you sis, I don't want to see you hurt again."

I made a face, I hated when Edward did that. It was uncanny how well he could read people. "I'll be okay," I replied with a shrug, "I was a little..._chaotic_ before, but I know what I want now. What it could cost me."

Edward nodded slowly, pivoting on his heels to face Bella as she came into my bedroom, prying Jackson off her chest to stick him to my brother. Bella looked at me apologetically, but I just smiled. It would take at least twelve more life times before Bella had enough energy to tire Jackson out.

I swept through my hair with a thickly toothed brush, taking out the hair iron Emmett got me last Christmas. Well, it said on the card it was from Emmett, but it was obvious Rosalie had bought it. I never really had much use for it, my hair usually liked to be in it's natural disarray anyways. But this was a special occasion.

Before long, Bella was beside me, her lips parted in a giant O shape as she watched me navigate the iron through my hair. Fifteen minutes and I looked like Shirley Temple – and people say you need to put in rags for this!

With a smirk, I slipped in the silver comb I bought on my last trip to Hong Kong. The comb was thin but unbelievably durable, and was edged with these perfectly round pearls it was hard not to stare at.

"You're pretty Mommy," Jackson grinned when I turned on the balls of my feet to face them. Bella nodded, at a loss for words while Edward's eyes squinted momentarily to appraise me before he smiled.

I vanished into my closet once I'd shooed them off. Nobody was going to see the grand unveiling until I was totally ready. And totally ready took a solid 30 minutes of picking and probing at my dress – then an extra five to speedily sew in my own, last minute personal touch-ups.

It was a silvery strapless gown, lined with silk, had a crystal encrusted bust and a snug fitting waist – which was more like a second skin. The gown then flowed out from my bellybutton in these metallic shell-like pleats, that gradually became larger until they reached just beneath my bottom in the back. Underneath the pleats were layers of sheer silver lace that fanned out in a complete circle around my form.

I bit my lip as I twirled in it. If I wasn't so determined not to ruin my makeup I think I may have cried my eyes out. This dress was a fashion designer's dream at best, enough to make me squeak with unrelenting excitement. Slicking on a shade of scarlet lipstick, I slipped into the chic studded black flats no one would be able to see under my dress anyway.

All but bouncing down the hall, I worked my best to be dignified as I came down my winding stairs, holding in my screams of utter jubilance. I swear I heard Bella's jaw hit the floor when she saw me, which only made my ego swell. Edward flashed his teeth in an admiring smile, though quietly remained at Jackson's side.

"You look like a princess!" Jackie gasped, quickly turning his nose up at my gown. I'm sure he would much rather me go out mismatched with two different shoes, than see me dressed up. His fashion sense would click in sooner or later.

"You look great Alice," Bella breathed, striding in to give me a loose hug. "Still tiny though." She said with a wink, I rolled my eyes and scrunched my nose at her.

I glanced at the kitchen clock, rushing everyone out a second later. If I was right, the limo I'd rented would already be here, and would have been waiting outside for the past 45 minutes. Is there such thing as too fashionably late?

Holding my dress up in the elevator, I really did feel like a princess. I left at least twelve smears of red lipstick on Jackson's face before we finally parted. I could still hear him telling Edward about how he'd let Valeria have his chair in a game of Musical Chairs the other day, by the time the limo driver was guiding me into the door.

I flicked through my clutch, grabbing out my phone and dialling Elise's cell number. I was almost in tears on the tenth ring when she answered at last.

"Hello?" Greeted a thick British accent.

Grinning against the phone I shouted, "I look awesome!" There was static for a long while before I could hear Elise chuckling again.

"Alice, darling! I've missed you!" Elise's voice was similar to coming home, it gave me a tingly warm feeling deep in my stomach. She gave me compliments on the party decorations, demanding to know where I was.

I held the bridge of my nose tightly and groaned. "I know, I know! I got hung up gawking in the mirror, sorry. Listen, is Kourtney-"

Elise didn't so much as let me begin with my question before she was laughing again, even harder this time. "Costner? Oh believe me she's here – and wearing a _gorgeous_ dress!"

I gasped theatrically, "Bite your tongue!" Both Elise and I snickered, I grasped at the leathery limousine bench impatiently. I could hear music in the background on Elise's end and it made me so, so very antsy. Moreover, I couldn't help but think of Kourtney, how she must be obnoxiously flaunting her dress. It must be something to gawp at if Elise was complimenting it.

"Oh, Alice, I meant to tell you, there's a guy here." Elise paused a moment, mumbling something to someone else and quickly returning. Already I was envisioning Jasper. "They let him in without even checking the list! Then again, I can't be touchy, he's _strappingly_ beautiful. And he's looking for you."

There was jest in Elise's tone and it took all I had to keep from screaming at the top of my lungs. "Tell me what he's wearing!" I yelled, making the largeness of the limo close in on me in one shout.

I could hear her making fake static. "Sorry Al, you're breaking up!" More false static and chuckling in the distance. "You'll have to see when you get here, chow darling!"

Every swear word I'd ever heard come out of Emmett's mouth – and that's a lot – flickered through my head. I punched at the leather beneath me, working my very hardest to restrain from screeching at the driver to go faster.

It so long. SO LONG, before I arrived. The driver opened my door with and outstretched hand, but I'd already sprung out and was rushing up the stairs toward the building. There were cameras flashing, lights everywhere and a line up that nearly wrapped around the building.

I gave a wicked chuckle. Bet this was the most action Seattle would ever see. I was welcomed without being checked on the list, prancing through the great doors to be assaulted with different scents, lights and music. It was as if entering a totally different world.

The room was romantically lit, the marble floors hiding beneath the hoards of people. The Victoria's Secret Angels were strutting down the runway I'd had installed across the room. Elegant people were mingling, holding champagne, seated at finely decorated tables, sheathed in fine crimson cloths.

Yeah, this looks like an Alice Cullen party to me.

A shrill shriek had my attention in seconds, I jumped into Elise's arms. She twirled me with ease, to set me back on my feet and throw me out to arm's length. "You're stunning!" She agreed with a nod.

Elise with her bold chin and riveting brown eyes, eyes that donned incredibly long lashes. She pursed her lips at me full, bow-like lips with a nude lipstick and gloss atop them. Her hair, flawlessly positioned over her left shoulder in smooth, graceful red waves. She was tall, slim, the ideal figure of a model and then some, secreted in a glittering baby blue cocktail dress that bellowed Jovani at me.

"Mary-Alice Cullen!" Chimed a male voice, from behind Elise came Jonathan Estelle and his boyfriend and model, Mark who both greeted me with kisses on the cheek. "Sweetie you're so cute!" Jonathan gushed.

My face was reddening by the second, I was sure of it. Both Mark and Jon were brunet, though Mark had considerably longer hair, I'd seen him on the cover of many underwear magazines. It was almost painful that they were both so attractive, any girl would be bowing at their feet I'm certain.

"Honey, there is a _dashing_ young man looking for you." Mark sighed dreamily, earning a smack from his counterpart. He directed with his hands, "About this tall, this muscular – has an adorable accent?" I refrained from lunging at Mark, settling for a blink and a squeal.

Clearing my throat politely, I nodded, taking a moment to compose myself. "And this dashing young fellow is where?"

The three of them pointed over my head.

Reeling around I stopped myself just short of jumping on Jasper. Holding my mouth shut with my right hand I murmured, "Oh God." Distantly I was aware that Elise and Jon were laughing at me, but my mind wouldn't completely register it.

He was just covered in so many medals and buttons and..._shiny_ things! I reached my hands out to run my palms down the slippery, crisp black fabric of Jasper's uniform. His tie was red, ironically the colour of my lipstick and I spared a moment to gush over him mentally. He pulled a twist of my curled hair and grinned, "Happy?" The lilt in his voice did me in.

Hoisting myself up on my tiptoes I granted myself a small kiss. "I'm happy _now_."

I introduced Jasper to Elise, Mark and Jon. He was polite as always, and so quiet, like his whole body went on lockdown. His voice, that satin smooth drawl, was curt and hushed.

"Do you have a brother?" Elise was always right to the point, already I could feel my face reddening as her eyes just about raped Jasper from head to toe and back again.

Jasper smiled sweetly, "No ma'am, unfortunately not."

Elise gave an obvious pout, glancing at Jonathan who also checked Jasper out and sighed, "That's a pity." Mark scoffed, flicking a perfect tress of hair out of his face.

I rolled my eyes, taking Jasper's arm and leading him away from them. I introduced Jasper to everyone I worked with – thankfully never running into Kourtney. We danced for a while, drank champagne, I teased him because he looked so lost here in my world.

With a giggle I brought the intricately twisted, spun glass goblet to my mouth again. Jasper caught my wrist, a look of true concern on his face. "How many have you had?" He asked me, I suddenly felt nostalgic, reminded of a party Emmett had in University where he asked me the same thing. Of course, Emmett made me go to bed after I told him how many I'd had...

Pressing my lips together I scowled, "I'm twenty-three, Jasper – an adult – I know what I'm doing." I glared at him over the thin rim of my glass as I drank. There were crisp bubbles on my tongue, they were bittersweet, the liquid sped down my throat, ice cold yet pulsing through my body in burning waves.

His eyebrows knit together, causing unbecoming wrinkles to form on his forehead. Jasper's voice was low, scolding, yet even more intoxicating than my drink. "You're tiny Alice, I don't think you realize how tiny." Now his big hand was swallowing mine whole, taking the glass from me with little, to no effort. "And I can imagine how upset you'll be if I crease that dress carrying you out of here."

I snorted, turning my nose up at him, "I've had three small drinks Jazz, that's not even enough to get a hamster drunk."

Someone snorted, I turned slowly, forcing my glower away from Jasper to gaze at the person. With a childish snort I clapped my hand over my mouth and burst out laughing.

Kourtney scowled at me, her eyes raking over Jasper before she stepped closer to us. The heels she wore were of a fine, crimson colour. They hugged her feet the way I imagined Cinderella's glass slipper might. They were finely edged, shapely yet very unique in their style. Kourtney wore a grey long-sleeved gown, short and leggy in the front though it proceeded to get longer in the back, stopping entirely just before her ankle.

Her blonde hair twisted over her shoulder in an elegant ponytail. If one looked close enough, you would certainly see the extensions she wore which created such a flawless hairdo.

"Alice," Jasper elbowed me softly in the ribs, enough contact to remind me I was being rude. Not that I truly cared. I looked up to him quickly and pouted, puckering my bottom lip the way Jackson would.

Blinking at Kourtney I sighed and walked forward to greet her. "Kourtney," I nodded, still chuckling under my breath. "This is Jasper, my boyfriend-" I took Jasper's hand and pulled him against me"-Jazz, this is Kourtney Costner."

Being the gentleman he is, Jasper reached out to shake her hand. Kourtney responded with a glare and then smirked haughtily at me. "Do you like my dress? It's a prototype for a new design – they're not even out yet." She said this so sharply I had to bite my tongue to keep the acid off my own words.

"Oh," I giggled, "I _know_." Kourtney cocked a pristinely waxed eyebrow at me and grunted in her throat. I cleared my throat and began to explain, "I um, I submitted that design last month. They accepted it a few weeks ago. You're, um, wearing _my_ prototype Kourtney."

In an instant her face went from its usual too-good-for-anybody rude expression to a beat red mess. "I-I...well I knew that. And I'm only wearing it because...because they _forced_ me – it's got flaws _everywhere_ by the way, you have a lot of work to do with this piece, Cullen." Kourtney snapped. I held my breath in my chest, pressing my lips together as she huffed out a sharp, dry breath and stomped away from us altogether.

I snickered relentlessly, leaning into Jasper's arm to steady myself. "Wow! Never thought _I'd_ be the one to shut her up." Sticking my tongue out simply out of having watched Jackson do it dozens of times, it took everything I had left to come off this abrupt high.

Jasper frowned down at me in a stern way. I pouted, feeling my forehead wrinkle in displeasure. "What?" I demanded sullenly, "You have no idea how mean she is to everybody – especially me." I pointed my finger in the direction Kourtney had vanished and stomped my foot.

"Then you shouldn't treat her that way." Jasper shook his head, "It's unladylike." I actually paused to gawk at him wholeheartedly. He chuckled, "You're nothing like her, there's no sense in stooping to her level."

I was quick to defend myself, clutching at his sleeve as I was. "But you...and she...evil..._I'm_ nice to _everyone_!" Jasper grinned at my inability to form a solid retort. A definite first and last in my case.

He leaned down and kissed my nose, "I'm going to get you some water." With a sharp roll of my eyes I reluctantly released him and watched, with uncanny vigilance as he took the enormous ballroom with his long strides.

I proudly made a full round of the room, posing for pictures with office friends, running behind the runway stage to change up the outfits and order. I called Edward's cell phone every chance I got when it was quiet enough, speaking in brief spurts with Jackson.

Elise soon found me, arguing with a guest who moronically assumed my dress was a knockoff! She was greatly mistaken to make such an accusation.

"You know you look perfect Alice, don't be silly." Elise wagged her finger back and fourth in my face. "On other matters," she winked at me and elbowed me softly in the ribs. "When did you meet what's-his-face?"

I laughed and grinned at her. "Jasper. He's Rosalie's step-brother," I explained while ignoring the look of distaste on Elise's face. She and Rose hadn't really hit it off when they first met, they more or less tolerated each other for me. Much like Rosalie tolerates Bella – which could use some work. Only Elise was no push-over, once or twice I thought they'd actually start pulling hair and blackening eyes.

Perhaps it's because Rose nearly put Elise's modelling job in jeopardy when our boss saw her in all her natural glory. Or maybe it's because Rosalie was sporting the hulking man-purse that was Emmett on her arm.

I try not to look into it too deep, just focus on fixing the matter.

"He's nothing like her." Elise scoffed, I nodded quickly in agreement. That much she definitely had right. "I like that." She admitted, "I'm jealous-" I gasped and Elise rolled her eyes "-don't look at me like that! It's true, I am."

Reaching my hand out I squeezed Elise's wrist, trying not to blush. "What about Lex, he's a great guy." I said softly, glancing at the platinum, diamond encrusted band coiled around her wedding finger.

Lex, Elise's husband of three years was a very, _ridiculously_ successful personal trainer. It was a wee bit terrifying how buff this guy is, he's probably bigger than Emmett. Which to me is gross, I'm not into that scary muscle like Elise. He's a wonderful person, incredibly sweet – he'd do anything for Elise.

This is probably the only time I've ever heard her talk down about him since I've known her.

"Oh, I know!" She answered almost breathlessly, but quickly snapped back into herself. "It's just that, the way he watches you...it's like he knows everything you're thinking."

Now I couldn't control it, my whole face was certainly burning up. I probably looked like a tiny version of Bella. "Thanks. Thanks a lot." I smiled sheepishly up at her resting my head momentarily on Elise's shoulder.

"Seriously though," She murmured, "Does he have a brother?" We both laughed, I shook my head and Elise groaned. "A cousin? A best friend – you're killing me Alice!"


	16. Pins and Needles

OKAY, sooooo I got another chapter done :D probably my fastest update ever! ...I'm proud. Okay, I'm excited for reviews lmao, that's all I'm gunna say ;)

~Selene

* * *

I was still receiving hate-mail from Kourtney even a week after the party. Silly little tidbits about how she was going to Hong Kong, for a meet-and-greet about another Victoria's Secret that was supposed to go up. There was even one that was just an attached photo of her in a new line of lingerie.

Of course, I struggled with myself and the niggling voice of Jasper in the back of my head telling me to be _ladylike_. So, despite myself, I sent back positive emails here and there, biting my tongue all the while.

According to the Forks weather network, there was going to be two days next week it would be warm enough to go to the beach. This was something I was always happy for, as a kid it meant getting to skip school to go camping with Carlisle and Esme. Now it meant I could shop for another bathing suit.

Jackson and I burned through Port Angeles once he was done school on Tuesday. He wasn't too enthusiastic about the shopping trip. Thankfully, his excitement grew once I finished buying my suit – after exploring eight shops – and we moved on to finding one for him.

"What do you think buddy? Iron man or these Hot Wheels ones?" I asked, holding the boy trunks at my hips, Jackson snickered as I did a pirouette.

Jackson's hair, mussed and hectic from the dampness outside, tumbled around his face and dangled around his eyebrows as he snatched them from me. "No Mommy! These are boy's clothes!" He giggled, forcing his expression into a scolding one.

I grinned, flicking through another rack, it was difficult to find bathing suits in a place that was usually too chilly to swim. For me, however; it was just a matter of minutes before I gathered all the trunks in the area I could find. A simple task for me, yes, but I can't honestly say I _liked_ any of the swim shorts I found.

At first I thought, too bland, too tacky, too..._bleh_. Jackson, on the other hand, was having a field day!

"What about these ones?" He disappeared into a rack, leaving behind a trail of laughter. Part of me wanted to laugh with him, but...instead my stomach clenched as he disappeared. For a moment he popped up again, but slipped into another row of shorts.

My heart was in my throat as I sped after him, grateful for my teeny nimbleness for once. "Jackie!" I shouted, my voice riddled with panic. It took a few minutes of having my whole body tremor in fear, before I finally got hold of his arm.

Jackson whirled around, a huge smile on his face. A smile which shot clear up into the green of his eyes, wrenching away at my heart as it did so. I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds, releasing his arm and standing up straight.

Taking a deep breath I peeked down at him again, avoiding his gaze. "What's wrong?" He asked, I felt his tiny hand grasp mine. "Did I scare you Mommy? I'm sorry."

Exhaling the way I was taught in yoga, I formed a meek little smile for him. "It's okay, sweetie. You just can't run away from me like that. It's dangerous." Jackson nodded his head slowly, twining his fingers through mine and giving a soft squeeze.

He didn't leave my side again for the rest of our afternoon out, though the whole time, I felt as though I'd be sick at any given moment. All I could think of was how flawless of a recreation Jackson was of Tristan. The idea made me dizzy – and yet I'd seen it all along. I had known it this whole time.

But, that didn't mean they were the same person, right? Yes. So this whole thing – having to endure my mini-Tristan – was just Mother Nature playing a sick Joke. I could...tolerate it.

"What do you want for dinner, baby?" I asked, making a note to look straight into Jackson's face when I spoke. It hurt at first, seeing _those_ eyes on _my_ son – it always did. But it faded into a bothersome ache in my chest after a while, which was something I could bare.

Jackson pursed his lips, lifting his small arms to place his hands atop his head. "Um," He buzzed his lips together. "Can we have green stuff?"

My lips fidgeted as I pulled the fridge open, "What green stuff? Salad green stuff, broccoli green stuff?" Jackson wrinkled his nose at those choices but shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "A salad then, with lots of other green stuff."

I threw every vegetable I had in my fridge that was green into a large crystal bowl. Jackson clanked around behind me, setting the table with his good hand.

Drizzling a zigzag line of raspberry dressing over my colourless mess, I placed it in the center of our table. Distantly, in my head I heard my Mother's voice, "_Alice! Kids love colour – mix it up a little." _For once in my life I ignored the advice and sat down beside Jackie.

For a long while all that was heard in the kitchen was the crunching of green peppers, green beans, chopped broccoli and lettuce. Jackson cringed at every vegetable he pushed into his very reluctant lips, but ate nonetheless.

"Is Jasper coming over?" He asked quietly around a heaping mouthful. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, swallowing before I shrugged a shoulder.

Jackson blinked at me like I'd sprouted a second head when I murmured, "I don't think so. We didn't plan on it." His expression did not change and I giggled and mussed his hair. "What? I thought you missed alone time."

He tilted his head a fraction, almost as if he was considering my statement. "I do Mommy, you just look like...Edward and Bella when Jasper's here." I squinted at him for a few seconds, where did a five-year-old get off being so dang clever?

"I like it when you smile Mom." He explained, his eyebrows knitting together. "You don't look sad anymore-" I turned away from him, taking large gulps from the juice I poured myself instead "-it's like Mister Jasper scared away all the bogey-men in the house."

Leaning over, I kissed Jackson's face. "You're such a smart boy Jackie." He grinned from ear to ear, simply facing the salad bowl again as if he'd said nothing.

Nit-picking at our salad, I ate what Jackson didn't and made him eat the last three broccoli before he could leave the table. Of course, he thought I was a tyrant, but he did as I asked eventually.

Once the kitchen was cleaned up again, I started laundry while Jackson did multiplication homework in his room. I made one swift trip to the laundry room a few floors down, and raced back up after I'd emptied a wallet full of quarters into the machine. I don't usually leave Jackson alone for long periods of time. It makes me paranoid to just ditch him like that – even to do the laundry!

I took the stairs on my way back up, figuring I'd burn off some of the calories I no doubt would have consumed from the salad dressing. My heart hit my tonsils when I came through the stair doors to our floor, however.

There was a tall brunette knocking on my door.

"Excuse me?" I murmured, gasping when she faced me.

Her eyes were brown, rich chocolate brown. A similar colour was her hair, which was as voluptuous as it was curly, it framed the sleek oval of her face with little effort. She was tall and slender, much taller than me by far – maybe Rosalie's height. Her clothes screamed designer from her crisp leather jacket, all the way down to the knee-high grey boots she wore.

The way she looked at me, the way her glamorously plump lips, in all their glossiness twitched at me...made me furious. I couldn't place why, or where the hell the sudden change in atmosphere came from – but I was fucking pissed off!

Clenching my teeth I narrowed my eyes at her, suddenly feeling powerful in my pyjama shorts and Versace t-shirt and Elmo slippers. "Can I help you?" I swore I almost hissed the words.

She turned entirely to look me up and down, glancing at the paper in her hand. "Alice? Alice Cullen?" She asked in some bittersweet tone.

Nodding sharply, I watched her fiercely as she snickered and shook her head. "I apologize, I was looking for someone else." And just like that, she stomped off, her shoulder grazing mine by a hair.

I could've lunged at her.

Even when she had slunk into the elevator, the aura didn't change. Unlocking the apartment door I went inside, kicking it shut behind me I paced into the kitchen.

"Mom?" Jackson mumbled, standing on the stairs and peering at me through the railing.

Grunting in my throat, I struggled to form proper words. "One...one second sw-sw-sweetheart." I choked, ripping the cupboards open and snatching out a glass. In one fluent toss I launched the cup across the kitchen and watched it shatter against the wall. Obviously those twelve years of baseball pitching hadn't rubbed off.

Jackson yelped palming at the railing while I closed the cabinets and sat on the kitchen tiles. And here I thought Jasper was the one affected by different environments, not me. Breathing slowly I gazed gradually up at Jackie who stood over me and brushed my hair.

"Are you sick?" He questioned, "Do you want big people medicine?"

Grinning daftly at him I felt my mood level once again, instantly I was horrified by what I'd done in front of him.

Clearing my throat and fighting to settle myself again I held Jackie's face between my palms. "I'm sorry you had to see that Jack, I'm fine – I just got a little..." What's a good word for an abrupt mood swing you've never experienced before?

"It doesn't matter anymore." I decided carefully, softly pinching the baby fat around his mouth. "I'm all better now."

Jackson sighed and shook his head, "I don't think your cup is all better yet."

Laughing quietly I struggled to my feet and nodded in agreement. Jackson stayed at a good distance while I collected the glass shards on the floor. Who was that woman? How did she know me? I'm certain I would remember her if I had met her before. I just...I just couldn't for the life of me place a name to that face.

She was still on my mind when I cleaned up my mess and sent Jackson to his bath and to bed. I couldn't put my thumb on it...who on earth was she?

It was a restless sleep that sought me, curled in bed at three in the morning. It was a relief when utter exhaustion wrapped it's heavy fingers around me and pulled me under at last.

When I awoke again, I felt like my normal self, which was a positive. I carried on with my day, having a short shower before getting breakfast ready and driving Jackson into school.

I stayed home for most of the day, doodling away in an attempt to distract myself. Things only got better when Edward came over, he told me we'd be going to the beach next Thursday for certain. We talked about everything, I always trusted Edward – and he always supported me.

As soon as I mentioned my encounter with Tristan, he tensed up. He explained to me that Carlisle had already told him all that happened to Jackson's arm.

"Have you ever thought about a Restraining Order, Alice? I mean, this is getting dangerous – it's much more than Emmett and I can handle." Edward said, his golden eyes shimmering with the light coming in through my living room windows. He held his jaw firmly, my brother's intensity seeming to overcrowd the room.

Sitting on my legs I sighed, leaning back against the arm of my couch. Combing the silken strands of my hair away I cocked my head at him. "Of course I have, I mean...right after we broke up I planned on talking to Charlie about the whole thing."

Edward's eyes narrowed, "But you never got around to doing it, Alice. I'm worried about you, about Jackson. This whole scenario isn't healthy for either of you."

Pursing my lips I dropped my gaze down to the couch cushions and shrugged. "They'll talk about us for months Edward." My voice was a whisper. I grinned slightly, "I mean, they almost charged us out of town with pitchforks. You remember what everybody used to say, how the _whole_ _town_ thought every Cullen was a freak right off the bat."

His jaw flexed for a minute before he answered, his eyes locked on my own. Edward stretched an arm across the back of the couch, his other hand straightening the soft, plaid blouse he wore.

"Alice, I'm only concerned about you. Nobody else matters – you know I don't give a damn what _they_ think. If your safety and that of my nephew's is in jeopardy, don't hesitate to think that I won't take action into my own hands." Edward almost hissed the words at me, causing me to flinch back away from him.

Oh Edward, my dear big brother so very, _painfully_ prone to over-exaggerating things. I know he'd do anything for me, for Jackie, but I didn't want to drag anybody into hell with me.

"Please Edward, I know it's silly but-" I bit my lip "-if things get out of hand I know I can take care of it myself. There's no need to upset everything all over again." My tone paled in comparison to the anger beginning to form in his vibrant eyes.

"Things are already out of hand!" Edward snapped, gripping at the fabric of the sofa as he talked. "I'm your _brother, _you'd have to be inept to think I wouldn't do everything to protect you." He reached out a big hand and gripped my forearm, only now could I truly see the panic beneath Edward's rage. "If that means sneaking around behind your back – I'll do it."

Sucking in a deep breath I didn't argue with him any longer, instead changing the subject. I could tell Edward was less than willing to allow me to change the course of our discussion, though he succumbed at last.

I went right for the only topic that could cloud Edward's head enough to make him forget about my troubles: Isabella Swan.

"I think you should just ask her," I murmured with a sly grin. "What've you got to lose?"

Edward snorted, his mouth fidgeting. "My dignity?" He raised a sleek eyebrow at me and rolled his eyes, "You don't just walk up to someone and ask them to marry you, Alice, that's not how it's done."

I laughed outright at Edward in all his bashfulness. "Yes it is! That's how people have been doing it for years." Edward proceeded to shake his head, trying to tune me out as I continued. "It's not going to be like some story book Edward, you just get on your knee and ask her."

He dragged his fingers through the disarray of his bronze hair and looked at me without a wink of humour on his face. "I want it to be like a story book, that's what Bella deserves."

Hunching over myself I stuck my index finger in my mouth and pretended to gag. Edward wacked my arm, chuckling as he did, I giggled outrageously as the image of my brother as some Prince Charming and Bella as Cinderella popped into my head.

Yeah, right, our little Bells in heels is bad enough. But Bella in _glass_ slippers? Oh boy.

"She'd say no anyways," Edward shrugged a wide smile still plastered on his face. "Any form of public gathering and you know how Bella gets."

Honestly considering slapping him across the face, I grunted over a dry chuckle. "I don't think her own wedding really counts."

Edward simply nodded once at me.

We bantered for hours before Edward had to leave because of a page from the hospital. I waltzed around my apartment, thinking about redecorating the living room and kitchen. I was getting sick of these colours all of a sudden.

I lounged in the bathtub for a while, floating between drifting into sleep and being wide awake. The hot water soothed me, which I was definitely grateful for, I played with the pink bubbles coasting across the surface of the water. Soon enough the entire bathroom smelt of the strawberry bath milk Bella had bought me a while ago.

Relaxed and fully restored I redressed in some comfortable track pants and a Gucci sweater and headed out to pick up Jackson. It felt good to be in my car, to be in the fresh air again. I was glad to let whatever had come over me last night fade into the distance. I didn't even think twice about it.

The roads were slick with rainwater, the asphalt gone black with it. I wove around the smooth bends in my Porsche, I'm pretty sure there's nothing this baby can't handle.

All I was thinking about was seeing Jackson, his bright face, the excitement that would undoubtedly meet me. I pushed the car passed 100 down the street, whipping into the school parking lot.

I sat in the driver's side for the longest time, afraid to look anywhere but forward. I didn't want to see Tristan's car, heaven forbid he was waiting here again.

After fifteen minutes I beefed my confidence up again and took a small step out into the dampness. I welcomed the sudden cold of the outdoors with a toothy smile, the cool air nibbled away at my fingertips and my nose.

Striding up the pathway towards the school, my pace broke as I met Daisy Reid's gaze. Pressing my lips together, I held my ground until she shook her head and glanced elsewhere. Jackson stood in a crowd of kids, laughing boisterously as they all took turns writing on his cast.

His laughter, however; fell silent as a red haired girl in a lime green parka reached out for the black marker everyone was passing around. My hands flung to my lips to secret my own giggling as I watched my son's face glow red under the hood of his bulky rain coat.

Valeria scribbled away, handing the marker back to Jackson, her freckle-covered face gone pale save for her cheeks and nose, which were crimson from the cold.

Jackie looked up momentarily, noticed me standing on the path and darted from the group. His restricted arm flailed at his side as he hurried towards me, splashing mud all over himself. I don't know if he was purposely aiming for every puddle he saw, but his loud laughter returned when I spun and ran away from him.

Like hell he was getting dirt on this coat! It was on sale for $300.00 – do you have any idea what kind of deal that is?

I jumped into the driver's side of the Porsche, unable to close the door in time before he was upon me, muck and all. Jackson was cold and sticky, leaving great patches of dark mud on my jacket. He smirked at me triumphantly while whipping around the front of the car to climb in beside me.

"How dare you sir!" I gasped when he buckled himself in. "I should make you walk home young man!"

All the natural colour filled Jackson's face as he chortled in the passenger seat. "You won't do that, you love me too much!" He spoke proudly, his eyes alight with mischief.

"Listen mister," I gently pinched the tip of his nose, "I brought you into this world, I can take you out."

Beside me, Jackson gagged and howled a vociferous, "EW, MOMMY YOU'RE GROSS!" He squirmed helplessly as I leaned over the center console to smother him with noisy smooches.

Driving home, Jackson showed me what everyone wrote on his cast. He focused mainly on the hectic writing seemingly embedded into the blue material.

"Valeria wrote that one," He stated, a slight arrogance to his tone. He appeared so jubilant I didn't pause to think about it. "It says: _get well soon_ with a heart and her name."

I brushed my palm over Jackson's hair, "So much for Bella, huh?" I teased, snickering when he swatted at my hand.

At home I sent Jackson straight to the bathtub to eliminate some of that caked on dirt. He peeled off his coat and boots and raced upstairs shortly after, not ten minutes later I could hear him banging around in the bathroom.

Hanging my coat up in the hall closet I padded into the kitchen to get the phone. I didn't feel like cooking at all, so I was going to call Bella. She was always my out in university, to this day she jokes that I can barely make water. Usually when I invited Bella over for dinner we went out, ordered in, or she cooked for us.

Nothing except Esme's cooking could beat Bella's.

Dialling the number, I paused at a knock on the door. I set the phone back in the cradle, fixing my hair as I headed out to the foyer. One peek in the peep hole and I was tearing the door wide open again.

Jasper dropped down to sweep me right off my feet, he kicked his shoes off and pushed the door shut all at once. It was strange, the last time I saw him was a day after the company party – which everyone was still talking about at HQ – but that was almost a week ago.

For a second I couldn't believe he could carry me with one arm, but that didn't matter to me once his mouth was over mine. The contact gave me such a jolt the tiny hairs along the nape of my neck stood on end.

Gasping I pulled away from him when his free hand came in contact with the bare skin of my waist. "Your hands are freezing!"

He blushed, the twang of his accent and the motion of his lips just barely out of my reach made my head spin. "Sorry," Jasper murmured, moving me in his grasp to swing me over his shoulder.

Trying not to laugh too loud, my breath caught in my throat when he put me down on the kitchen counter. My hands snatched at every part – any part of his black blouse, my fingers blazing through the buttons.

I gasped loud enough to stop us both in our tracks. Jasper's blue eyes searched for answers on my face, I sighed slowly and looked at him through my eyelashes. "I forgot," I confessed, running my fingertips over the lumps of his scars.

Jasper looked timid, "Does it bother you?" Even before I could respond he was fastening the teeny round buttons of his shirt again. Slouching on the countertop I unwound my legs from their knot around his waist.

"I don't care Jasper. It's you – they're you." Forcing myself to grin, I couldn't help but subconsciously kick myself in the butt for singlehandedly destroying a perfect moment.

He just shook his head, blond curls bouncing across his face. Gently clearing his throat, he placed his hands palm down on the countertop. "I brought you something."

Unable to fight off my excitement I writhed on the counter in gleeful anxiety. He lifted his right hand to delve his long fingers into his pocket, extracting a flat, square navy blue velvet box. My heart stopped dead in my chest as I took it from him, my fingers trembling as I lifted the lid.

"It's a...it's a pin?" Somewhere, something deep in my gut was deeply disappointed, but I remained excited. "What does it mean?" I was curious to know it's origins, what it stood for, why this tiny pin, hardly the size of my pinkie nail, held so much significance to him.

Jasper bit the corner of his bottom lip. Okay, I didn't really care about the pin anymore – I wanted those buttons undone.

"It's my army pin. As in literally _me_, so when I-" he hesitated, a look of regret flickering in the depths of his eyes "-so when I have to go...I'll always be here. I've never had anybody who meant enough to me to give it to, but I want you to have it – no matter how mad you might be."

Lurching over myself, I snapped the box shut and put it back in his hand. "I don't want a _pin_ Jasper. I want _you_." Dripping from my every syllable was acid and I stubbornly folded my arms over my chest.

His hand next to me on the counter edge turned to a fist. "Alice please, I want you to take it." Jasper exhaled huskily, "This-" he put the box on the countertop "-this is me too."


	17. The Archangel

Hey guys :3 sorry I took FOREVER buuuuuttt... It's cuz I've been talking to some PUBLISHERS XD so I've been working on like a million different things for them... but here's Chapter 17, I hope it lives up to some expectations and I want to see some reviews! So get goin people, start reading! :P

~Selene

* * *

I stared at the velvet box on the nightstand beside my bed. Even in the dark no matter how hard I tried, I could still see it's flawless square silhouette right there beside my head.

Rolling over onto my other side, I came face to face with Jasper, sleeping soundly underneath his matted yellow hair. If I held my breath and listened I could hear his almost silent snores. He looked at peace, but I quickly learned that whatever he was dreaming about, was nothing peaceful.

Usually I was fast asleep – like in a coma – at this time, so I never saw Jasper having nightmares. But he did, and he tossed and turned throughout them.

I watched him for a while, wondering how on earth I could have ever slept through this. Finally, I reached out and touched his arm, just a little squeeze and he jerked awake.

"Alice?" He blinked curiously at me, "Is something the matter?" Jasper rubbed his eyes, rolling off of his stomach and onto his side to look at me directly.

Shaking my head slowly, I wiggled closer to swing an arm around his shoulders. "You were having a bad dream." I whispered, my voice gone hoarse. Jasper nodded sullenly and shrugged one shoulder.

"It happens sometimes," He grumbled, clearing his throat. "I see things from before I can't change." As he spoke my fingers felt their way in the dark, up his spine, across his neck and into the mangled tresses of his hair.

Combing the small curls from his face I said, "Things like what?" Jasper grimaced at my question, but I hoped that maybe he could get some things off his chest. It always works when Jackson has bad dreams – for the most part.

"I can't describe it." Jasper sighed, "Its things you have to touch, smell, hear for yourself to understand it I guess." His eyelids drooped again and Jasper blinked hard to keep them open. "Sometimes it's hard to sleep, other times I can't wake up no matter how much I want to."

My heart sunk down in my chest at the helplessness that surfaced in his eyes. "How could you want to go back to that?" I murmured, narrowing my eyes on his face in the dark.

Jasper put his hands over his face, "Alice..." He groaned his palms. "What I did was horrible, everything I have _ever_ done has been..._horrible_-" I decided against letting him finish.

"Jazz don't say that!" My voice was a whisper but my outrage was tangible in the atmosphere about us. As I pulled his hands away from his face I pushed him onto his back, crawling over his frame as I did so. "I'm not buying it – I didn't when you first told me. You can't scare me away, Jasper Whitlock."

Jasper's gaze avoided mine under those messy blond curls of his. A meek little grin played on his face a moment, before a great and heavy frown pulled it down entirely. "They're not all about..." He shook his head, biting down hard on the smooth skin of his lower lip. "I have nightmares about everything. You...Rosalie." Jasper winced long and hard mentioning Rose's name.

I didn't dawdle.

"What do you mean? What about Rosalie?" I brushed my fingertips along the stubble that stole across Jasper's jaw. I could feel him press his chin against my hand.

He sighed slowly, exasperatedly. "Well I-"

"Mommy!"

Jasper's mouth fidgeted under the pressure of an unfinished sentence. I sighed, brushing my hair back with my hands while rolling off of Jasper and into a sitting position. I felt the warm roughness of his palm on my forearm, and turned to see Jasper sitting as well.

He rubbed his face in one, harsh swipe and I saw the flash of his teeth in the shadow. "It's okay," Jasper drawled. He sounded much more awake now than a moment ago. "I'll get him."

I watched him slug to his feet, my eyes on the tall, dark form ghosting through my bedroom. It was silent where Jasper stepped, I realized, like he wasn't even touching the ground. And then he was gone, out the door and into the light of the hallway.

While I flicked my side lamp on I took a moment to wake myself up. Good Lord Alice, I thought, you are not a get-up-and-go person after all. Then again, what can I say? I love my sleep, and I especially love my sleep at 3:00am. I scowled at the digital clock on my side table, scrubbing away at my eyes, as I pictured the dark circles under my eyes I would certainly have tomorrow.

The hallway panels creaked, signalling Jasper and Jackson. In a moment the two entered, Jackson's face lulled against Jasper's shoulder, his body already limp with sleep in his arms.

Jasper's eyes widened a moment once he considered me again. "He said he had a bad dream," Jazz's voice was slightly sardonic. The corner of my mouth twitched at the irony of the situation.

Reaching my arms out I welcomed Jackson's slim body into my embrace. This happens a lot, my little boy with such a vast imagination, he scared himself at night. Jackson's eyes opened long enough for him to recognize me, smile to himself and curl against my side.

Jasper stood at the side of my bed, blatantly hesitant. It was as if he couldn't remember what he was doing here. I grinned despite myself, "It's okay, you can cuddle with me too."

He merely rolled his eyes at my remark, gradually – like he was moving through molasses – Jasper sat on the edge of the bed. I could have sworn I heard him gulp.

With a tiny giggle I extended my hand, snatched the thin material of his shirt and yanked him towards me. "We want you here," I murmured softly leaning over to kiss his face. "Please, Jasper."

His eyes tightened while he shook his head at me, stretching onto his back beside me. Turning the lamp off once again, I slithered down between Jackson and Jasper, smirking to myself when I felt Jasper's arm slip around me and Jackson over the duvet.

I slept, quite frankly, like a baby for the rest of the night...

When I awoke on my side, I faced Jackson. He lay sprawled across my mattress on his back, his mouth hanging open, his hair knotted around his face. I wiggled under the weighty warmth of the rosy pink sheets, threw my head back and yawned.

Behind me, something grunted. As if my small movement had roused a great statue, I felt Jasper's arm come to life around my waist. I laughed goofily as his hand swept over the flat, bare skin of my stomach and slipped out from underneath my tank top.

Rolling over, cautious not to disturb Jackson, I lay on my back merely an inch from Jasper. Although his eyes remained closed the corners of his mouth fidgeted restlessly, suggesting the makings of a smile.

I cleared my throat once, blinking the last remnants of sleep away. "Hey." My voice was low, my tongue felt strange moving within my mouth, almost like it was not yet ready to wake up.

Jasper finally looked at me and I swear his eyebrows almost went into his hairline. He jerked straight up muttering, "Oh God." He sounded hysteric, so unlike himself it made me sick to my stomach.

"Jazz?" My voice was hesitant..._scared_. I joined him slowly, terrified of what his expression may expose to me. "Jasper?" I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face into the soft flesh of his neck, which had gone cold.

He was quiet for a long time, hands over his face, fingers clutching at his hair. Finally he breathed out, faced me and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, I just...the dreams are getting to me." He slouched down to kiss the tip of my nose, pushing from my arms and slipping out of my bed.

No. This was wrong.

My intuition flickered immediately. I felt like Bruce Wayne, caught off guard by the Bat-Signal. Oh my...I guess some part of me has been absorbing the Teletoon Jackson watches.

But then...I felt terrible. It was like my body was attacking me, ripping away from the inside out. I didn't feel like Alice, I didn't feel like who I'd become once she left – I was a void. A deep black chasm.

Jasper was lying. He was lying right to my face.

"_You don't know anything about him except what he decides you need to know..." _

Rosalie's voice was cruel in the back of my mind, heartless.

I kicked desperately out of my bedding, glancing at Jackson before I made my way straight into the bathroom off of my room. Before I could even close the door he was there, Jasper's eyes probing my face. I didn't ask questions – I simply just couldn't form the works.

"Alice?" Jasper's brow furrowed, I stepped away from him watching as he slid inside and closed the door. "What's wrong?"

I pressed my lips together, inhaling deeply. This was land I did not wish to tread, I'd been here before and I barely made it through the first time. If Tristan could pull apart my entire life apart, what could Jasper do?

Jasper who was so perfect, so beautiful. Jasper who I'd fallen in love with.

He strode towards me, and I thought quickly to distract myself. His shirt, draped unflatteringly over his torso, did not match the navy pyjama pants he wore. His hair was dishevelled, his eyes were nervous – eyes that lied.

He took me in his arms, here I felt wholeheartedly protected. This too, was a complete lie. I struggled with myself to stay where I was with him, it was impossible to deny Jasper, but better judgment willed me to.

"What aren't you telling me?" I mumbled into his chest, squeezing my eyes shut while he twisted his arms around me. "I know something's wrong."

His dropped his head and kissed my hair – no doubt a sleek black nightmare by now. As I breathed him in, I wondered what it was that made Jasper turn back. He was must have been almost down the hall when I got out of bed.

He grumbled unintelligibly to himself a moment before responding. "You're right, I didn't want to talk about it but...I was dreaming about Rosalie. About Royce, what he did to her. I should have been there – I _could_ have been there." Jasper's voice was dripping with frustration, an outrage directed inwardly. "It's like...it's like, if I hadn't been so stupid, if it weren't for Maria, I could have been _here. _I could've been _him_ Alice – everything would have been different."

I exhaled in a gust. "Jesus Jasper!" I jerked out of his arms and punched him square in the chest. He blinked at me as if I'd lost my mind. "You scared me! I thought..." I shook my head, feeling utterly ridiculous – mortified even. "I don't know what I thought."

Running my palms over his chest I rid myself of the nagging suspicion, the horror that had clouded my mind. Comparing Tristan to Jasper – what on earth happened to me? That was like comparing Aldo and Manolo Blahniks!

"I don't know what came over me." I peeked up at him from under my dark lashes like the total dolt I am. "I'm sorry. I love you." Tilting my head back, I greeted his kiss with my own attempting to shove off the foolishness.

Jasper dragged his palm over my hair, resting his hand at the base of my neck. I smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt with both hands. Freely allowing my fingers to press into the hard grooves of his stomach, I smirked.

"I didn't mean to scare you darlin'." Jasper drawled under his breath, making me melt clear down into my core. "You're just going to have to bare with me every once in a while."

I snorted repeating him with a snicker, "_Bare with me_." Jasper rolled his eyes down at me, feathering kisses all over my brow.

Jasper and I brushed our teeth, in the gracious expanse of my bathroom. Bella, Edward and I had come up with the design, Rosalie and Emmett had done all the easy work installing everything.

There were two sinks, both large, deep glass bowls atop glossy black stone and dark wood, a slender metal tap arched over both. It was obviously Rosalie's elegant-classic side coming through. I washed my face quickly, reaching behind me to grab the ice blue face towel from the silvery, stainless steel rack. I helped Bella with this one, though I certainly appreciated her choice in colour.

Outside of painting the walls, I left all the hands-on work to the pros. Rosalie knew me well enough to put in the massive shower of my dreams. Meaning: the shower nozzle was a great square plate in the ceiling, so when I turned the water on it was like rain.

Meanwhile Emmett was just his typical, goofy self and made sure the pipes made this terrifying clanking sound, for the first minute the shower was running. This of course traumatized me the first time I used it. Honestly – I had baths like Jackson for almost a month, before Emmett came clean and explained nothing was going to fall out of ceiling and squash me!

"I'll never understand you." Jasper commented, like he could read every admiring gaze I passed over the facilities of my bathroom. Seriously, this place is like a work of art.

I looked at him with narrowed eyes, "What're you talking about?" I asked, thinking the exact opposite of his statement. Jasper must secretly be some kind of superhero deep down. I mean...he turned around. He turned around and came back for me, as if he knew what was happening to me right when I did.

Jasper tilted his head, his matted blond slumber-hair twisted all around his face. "All this," He waved his hand about. "You're in an apartment that looks like a mansion that should be on television."

I laughed, folding my towel up again to drape over the rack to dry. "I could move to a motel-" Jasper snickered, his laughter growing infectious "-we could live in a yucky, bug-filled motel."

I shuddered just at the idea, thinking of that one time Edward made me and Bella spend the night in a motel. It was in high school, over some stupid fight Edward had gotten himself into – to this day he'll swear it was for our own protection.

"The horror!" Jasper gasped, his right hand flinging to his mouth as his eyes shot wide. "Heaven forbid, delicate Alice be condemned to a _motel_!"

Gawking at him I snatched up my face towel, swirling it around in the air before snapping it at him. Jasper jumped up like I'd never expected, his jaw dropping momentarily before all recognition struck his face. Then he lunged.

My squeal filled the bathroom while he snatched me from the ground. I kicked my legs up and pounded my fists on Jasper's back. The bathroom door swung open and we trooped out, past the bed where Jackson had rolled onto his stomach and yanked the sheets over his head, and into the hallway.

I clutched at his pyjama's on the way down the winding stairs. I was reminded immediately of home, roughhousing with Emmett and Edward. It was so much easier then, I was so much more..._flippy_ as a kid. I was always the one who could slip out of the tightest headlocks, actually, I could to thirteen back flips in a row! In a perfect line – I wouldn't even be dizzy.

As soon as we hit the main floor, I held Jasper's sides, throwing my legs back until I went completely over his shoulder and onto my own feet. Sucking in a huge breath I turned round to face Jasper, a supercilious smirk on my face.

"How did you do that?" He cocked a challenging eyebrow at me. I watched Jasper's movement carefully as he paced slowly towards me.

Winking at him, I bolted into the living room, shouting over my shoulder. "Just like you wrecked my dress!"

I heard him groan, Jasper chasing me into the other room. "It's just fabric!" He argued, circling me around the coffee table, "I told you I'd get you a new one." There was a distinct promise in his voice, softening his accent.

Jasper's smile was genuine, secure fading instantly as he wheeled around the right side of the table. Spinning on my heels I bounced onto the couch and leapt over the edge, glancing over my shoulder a moment too late.

He wrapped his arm around my torso, pinning my arms to my sides as he lifted me off the hardwood. Jasper carried me into the kitchen with one arm, seating me on the edge of the table.

I was about to snap back, when I glimpsed the flicker of a white flag in his eyes, just like that our game was over. He walked away, eyeing me carefully before he turned his back on me completely. As I watched Jasper swing around my kitchen I wracked my brain in search of the emotion that had assaulted me upstairs.

Was it really so easy for me to lose trust in him? I frowned to myself, suddenly aware that I would never be able to have total confidence in Jasper. Not after Tristan.

Is this some sort of Cullen curse? I mean...how could I fall for the guy so simply and not have the conviction in him to support it? Maybe it's just me. It's just stupid to wait for Jasper to slip up, even if it's just a teeny part of me doing it.

"Darlin'?" Jasper's voice brought me back to reality again.

I glanced up at him in confusion. "Sorry...I was just thinking. What'd you say?"

Jasper grinned lopsidedly, "For breakfast, what would you like?" He looked at me helplessly when I shrugged.

"Cereal's okay, I'm not really hungry Jazz." I tilted my head at him, grinning softly. Jasper rolled his eyes, moving across the kitchen again to take out one of my bowls. I listened to the fast click-clack of Cheerios against the china. Jasper was beside me a moment later, resting the small bowl in my lap, pushing the cold metal handle of a spoon into my fingers.

Jasper combed his fingers through my hair. "Anything else?" He asked sweetly. I definitely think I could get used to this.

Biting the inside of my lip, I set my spoon down and began picking at my cereal. "Emmett planned a trip to the beach in a couple days. It'll probably only be a couple degrees warmer, but you can come if you want to."

I watched him purse his lips, the slight dimple in his chin becoming more prominent. "I'll have to check my schedule." Jasper smirked, slouching to kiss my cheek.

"This again?" I laughed, tossing a Cheerio at his forehead.

Jasper and I spent the morning cleaning up a Cheerio food-fight, a few hours later Jackie finally got out of bed. By noon, I was seriously tired of being pent up all day, it turned out be no problem to get Jasper to take us out for lunch. Although...we did end up getting finger food, due to Jackson's idea of, um, table etiquette. Usually, if we were out to dinner and he used his fingers, I'd call it primitive but, today was different.

After lunch we went our separate ways, another thing that could've easily gotten under my skin. However; watching Jackson and Jasper disappear down the street under my great black umbrella, had a totally different affect on me.

It was _weird_ being at home alone knowing Jackie was with Jasper. Though, it was weird in a positive way. It meant the world to me that they were getting along once and for all. As much as I could see, the Tristan side in Jackie was getting smaller...all for the parts that could never be destroyed.

I was seated on the couch watching terrible television shows and eating snacks with way too much fat in them, when the phone rang. For a moment I was reluctant to get off my bum and answer it, eventually I managed to lug myself up and race into the kitchen on the sixth ring.

Snatching the phone from the cradle I murmured a greeting while rubbing potato chip crumbs off my shirt. Rosalie was on the other line.

"What're you doing right now? Nothing?" She demanded, her voice like the crack of a whip to which I immediately jumped to attention.

Wrapping a black lock of hair around my middle finger I pursed my lips, trying to make up some kind of excuse that didn't involve gaining about ten more pounds.

"I was just..." My voice seemed to scramble out of my grasp as I blanked entirely. "I was just about to do some laundry."

Instantly Rose was onto me, "Liar." Her voice was like a smothering layer of silk, so flawless and smooth yet completely volatile. I winced. She sighed, sending a wave of static over the line, "Come get a manicure with me."

My intuition flickered simultaneously, just like this morning. Rosalie only went to get her nails done when something was irritating her – which happens quite often. Although...something about her tone today seemed strange.

"Sure," I shrugged a shoulder, listening quietly as she explained to me where we would go and when she would arrive to pick me up. It was a brief conversation and I was quickly left on the phone, listening to the dial tone after she had hung up on me.

I felt sluggish, forcing myself up the winding stairs that seemed to go on for far too long. I dragged my body down the hall and into my closet, where the uplift of expensive clothing easily boosted my mood. Within the time span given to me by Rosalie I tried on at least twelve different outfits before she was knocking on my front door.

Once completely satisfied with my choice in fitting skinny jeans, knee-high leather boots, a Burberry red knit sweater and elegant plaid touque, I joined Rosalie in the foyer.

She drank a glass of red wine – as always – before we headed out. I left a note for Jackson and Jasper, just in case they beat me home. Rosalie was quiet for most of the ride, complimenting me on my heels while she drove.

Forks was tiny, and I almost wished our car ride had been a little longer, as we were getting back out of the car not twenty-five minutes later.

Rosalie's company was always welcomed whenever I went out, but when I knew something was wrong I couldn't help but constantly be on edge. It wasn't so much that she was fragile – you needed to have a thick skin just to hang around Rose – but it was a little terrifying seeing my glorified, Aphrodite embodiment all down in the dumps.

We made nothing but small talk for the longest while, only furthering my suspicions. For the most part, I watched in awe as the small, shrivelled lady painted my toes with the most delicate hand, it was as if even touching me was a kind of art.

"Where's mini-me?" Rosalie questioned from under a curtain of her thick blonde tresses. I smiled shamelessly.

"Jackson's out at the movies with Jasper," I glanced at her and knew by the annoyance on her face that I was grinning from ear-to-ear. I didn't let Rosalie's distaste get to me, instead I focused on the chair I sat in, massaging me as it was.

Rosalie nodded curtly when the woman asked if she was certain she wanted black nail polish, then shuffled away to put away the nail polish she had used.

"Alice..." Rosalie mumbled, jerking her head to whip the hair from her face without having to use her hands. She met my eyes with a cold certainty. "Emmett and I have been trying-"

Before she even finished I grimaced – so many horrible things started with that sentence, I'd probably curl and expire if she told me another.

I watched her smile faintly, though the contentment did not reach her eyes. "Don't worry," She reassured me with a wave of her hand, the light of the fluorescents flashing on the black of her nails.

"I mean..." She sucked in a deep, calming breath. "We've been _trying. _I know it's soon, our wedding is still four months away but, last month I went to a friend's house, out of town. I haven't seen her since public school."

Rosalie grinned nostalgically. "So when I went over, I didn't expect her to already have a family – she's only twenty-one. But the baby she had, Henry, looked so much like Emmett...right down to the curly hair." Rosalie giggled a little near the end, which was such an infectious sound I even joined in.

Though, just as fast as she had laughed, she had become stark serious. "I've never wanted something so badly in my life." She whispered, "Even when you had Jackson...to this day I get butterflies when you two are together, you're like magnets."

My face burned red, I couldn't see it, but my cheeks felt ablaze and the blood rushed beneath my skin. I opened my mouth to respond when Rosalie shook her head. I was so happy for her I could've exploded – it was driving me crazy that she wouldn't let me speak.

"But we can't Alice, I mean, Emmett is so-"

I lost it right then and there, "Don't you dare finish that sentence!" I squealed, "I don't want to hear anything about your sex life with my brother – that's just too much!"

The small woman that had done our nails looked at us hesitantly, but otherwise remained silent.

Rosalie rolled her eyes melodramatically. "Fine. We've been trying _a lot_-" I gagged "-And nothing has happened...I know it's just supposed to be spontaneous, but I swear I've read every book, researched every website – tried every God damn _position_! – and nothing is working!"

I covered my face with my hands, ignoring the quiet laughter from the woman. Rosalie's face was crimson, but not with embarrassment.

"It was making me insane so I went to the doctor's, out of town – news spreads like wild fire around here." Rosalie snapped through her teeth, glaring at the lady across the room.

She gazed at me again, frowning heavily. "They told me I can't get pregnant, Alice, they said there was maybe a ten of a hundred percent chance that we'd be successful." Rosalie's voice cracked, and I could see the glossy sign of tears along the rims of her eyes. "And it's not even that there's something wrong with my ovaries. I...my body keeps rejecting our babies. They all just...die inside of me as soon as they're made."

Tears streamed relentlessly down Rosalie's face, like a true Goddess she still looked magnificent. But she was broken.

I saw, right before me, the death of an angel.


	18. Power of the Pixie

I coooouuuuld apologize...but I'm not gunna lol, I feel like I've done that enough that you understand I'm a lazy bum with my updates :P But I really enjoyed writing this chapter for some reason. I went in a totally different direction than I'd pictured buuuuttt... lemme know what ya think!

~Selene

* * *

I didn't have the courage to face Rosalie again after that. I knew she needed me now more than ever, but I just couldn't do it. We spoke on the phone about everything, however; seeing her in person was something I was not ready for.

Rose could put up a flawless facade – though I knew the truth, and the curtain had fallen. I could see the face behind the mask, and it was not a beautiful one.

Emmett was utterly clueless. No, literally – she hadn't told him yet. And I didn't have the strength to tell him either. Emmett can be a bit of a jerk, he is immature and sometimes I can't stand him, but out of everything...he'd be a perfect Dad. And an even more perfect Dad to Rosalie's baby. Except that was a goal he had no chance of reaching...and he had no idea.

I didn't tell Jasper, despite my longing to do so, he made it clear that he knew I was hiding something, but I refused to give in. It would only make things worse. And although Bella could see right through me, I avoided telling her the truth as well. Rosalie had me, quite frankly, living _her_ lie. Surprisingly, the hardest to keep from gushing to was Edward. I wanted desperately to inform him, yet I couldn't, and if there's anything Edward hates, it's when he doesn't know what people are thinking.

It was a game of survival now, but I didn't know just how long I could hold on!

"Is he asleep?" Jasper asked me, he'd been away for the past three days, doing training I had absolutely no interest in, and I was ever so glad to have him back. Our trip to the beach was tomorrow, and I was dreading going to sleep.

I nodded and yawned, stretching inelegantly before crawling across my mattress to lay beside him. Jasper brushed his hand through my hair, his other arm bringing me towards him. I welcomed this comfort, this release from the insistent stress on my mind. I kissed Jasper's face and willed the dark cloud over my head to drift away for a while.

Gently biting his lip I smirked as he shivered against me, Jasper drew away, his eyes intent upon mine. "What?" He asked me, there was not confusion on Jasper's face, but hope.

Twirling his hair around my pinkie finger I shrugged slightly, "Do you think secrets are worth keeping? I mean, any secret, with all the repercussions in mind." I looked to him with a returning faith.

Jasper shrunk back. Not physically, but I could feel him retreating from me. "It depends," He whispered, holding my chin between his thumb and index finger. "It depends what the repercussions are...who you might be protecting by keeping the secret."

Nodding wordlessly, I waited as his words sunk in. "You don't think that maybe if someone is going to get hurt anyway, it's just better to tell the truth?" I cocked an eyebrow at him, my attention focused on the thoughts that flickered across the glimmering shades of his blue eyes.

Jasper smiled cutely, "Alice you'll figure it out, you always do." Then he frowned, eyes darting away from mine, "It's just a matter of time." I bit my lip, feeling as though I had missed a very big clue in an even larger mystery.

Jasper mussed my hair, pulling me atop him, "Why? What secrets could you be keeping?" He kissed me quickly and I laughed at the smooth feel of his tongue on my pulse.

Desperately I wanted to confide in him. I could trust Jasper, that much was obvious, but I couldn't give up on Rosalie. She's my best friend, and Jasper is...my boyfriend? I love them both, but it felt like I was betraying Jazz by not coming clean, and yet if I did Rosalie would hate me.

"Alice," Jasper growled, recapturing my attention once more. I looked at him and my smile fell, his eyes were intense, gleaming at me from under his blond curls harsher than usual. I crawled away and sat back onto my calves. Only now did I see just how much Jasper could look like his step-sister.

He cocked an intrigued eyebrow, "What are you thinking about so hard?" He murmured. I looked at him fearfully, Jasper had this way of looking at me – as if he already knew all that I was thinking. This made my heart quicken.

Innocently I shrugged a shoulder, laying down beside him again. It felt as though a great barrier lay between Jasper and I. One, although invisible, that seemed so palpable it made me feel sick with myself.

I lied uneasily, "Just wondering what bathing suit to wear tomorrow."

Jasper blinked at me, waiting for the truth. When he realized I wasn't going to crack he sighed and nodded, slithering down into my bed sheets and folding his hands behind his head.

"I'm sure whatever you pick, darlin' will look amazing either way." He spoke with a grin on his face, though the thrashing blue depths of his eyes probed at me relentlessly.

Curling to his side, I willed this unwanted forcefulness away from him. Jasper was steadfast, an obstacle in my path that even I, Alice Cullen, could not shatter.

If there hadn't been so much going on in my head, I was certain this stubborn side of Jasper would have appealed greatly to me. I ran my palm over his chest in long, smooth curves, zigzagging this way and that to put unflattering wrinkles in his t-shirt.

I closed my eyes gradually, keeping very still and slowing my breaths as if I had fallen asleep. After what seemed like hours – more likely a few minutes – Jasper's arms encircled me and I heard the click of my lamp turning off.

It took a while, but I did at last tumble into a shallow, guilt-ridden slumber...

The next morning was full of excitement, Jackson leapt out of bed to swoop into my bedroom howling. Jasper woke immediately, the momentum of his movement whipping me into consciousness.

Jackson threw himself onto my bed, disregarding his cast for the while as he shouted, "It's sunny outside!"

I rubbed my eyes, unintentionally irritated by the commotion while I was still half asleep. Jackie was relentless, bouncing over the pink duvet to crash atop Jasper and I, a grin spread from ear to ear.

"It's sunny – it's warm!" He laughed, jabbing at me. "To the beach, Mommy, to the beach!"

It was the most disorientating morning of my life.

Within a fair amount of time, we had eaten breakfast, I spoke on the phone with Emmett – squeezing my eyes shut the entire time. We asserted a meeting place, from which point we would follow Emmett and Rosalie down to the beach on the other side of Forks.

Jackson's enthusiasm drove me to scarf down my meal without really tasting any of it. Jasper shook his head at me, a great smug grin on his mouth as he lifted a large, steaming mug of coffee to his face blatantly savouring every drop.

Things slowed if only slightly when I sent Jackson off to pack his towel, an extra pair of clothes and a bottle of sunscreen. Meanwhile Jasper sat on the edge of my bed, tilting his head from side to side, his eyes growing weary as I changed in and out of several bathing suits.

I put on the new one I'd bought at the mall with Jackson, twirling in front of Jasper with high hopes. "This one? I like this one." I asked, suddenly feeling especially giddy about this trip now.

Again he tilted his head, pursing his lips and folding his arms over his chest. "If I agree, can we leave?" I frowned at him and stomped my foot, a flicker of hilarity shone in Jasper's eyes as he laughed.

My bathing suit was black, a one piece which cut in at my sides and virtually had no back, besides the thin elastic material that tied around my torso. It made me look slim – not that that was of concern to me – but it was elegant, revealing.

Jasper rose from the edge of my bed, creeping forward to play with my hair. He leaned down and placed his mouth on my forehead through my bangs, I shuddered at the feather-soft feel of his coarse palms on my bare sides.

The tip of Jasper's nose grazed mine, his arms winding around me to hoist me up to his level. His mouth was warm and soft like satin, reminding me of the night we met. I giggled as his tongue coaxed my lips apart, Jasper tasted of coffee and sincerity and deliciousness. I pulled absently at the curls of his hair and sighed to myself at the hot velvet of his tongue on mine.

Too soon he put me back on my feet, tousling my hair. There was a curious look on his face, and I smiled meekly at the way he cocked his head to the side again in the way only he did. "I don't get how someone so tiny can pack such a punch."

His accent made my toes curl but I struck a boxer's pose, fists before my face. "I could take you," I smirked, imitating Emmett's voice when I spoke. My entire childhood was surrounded by that remark. Emmett would say that, to me, to Edward – to that alligator at the zoo.

Jasper's eyebrows shot up, his astonishment speedily swept off it's feet by a look of absolute mischief. Jasper's lips slanted crookedly in an unruly manner. "I'd like to see you try."

Rolling my eyes I pushed him away, shunning the thoughts that rose up like a tsunami within me. Facing my mirror when I spoke I mussed my hair, pleased with the natural ebony disarray. "Where's your bathing suit?" I asked him, glancing at Jasper from the corner of my eye when he said nothing.

A red hue seemed to rise up from the collar of Jasper's shirt, climbing heatedly over his features. "Alice," He cleared his throat. "I...I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable." Jasper's tone was timid, almost disappointed.

Twirling on my toes I faced him again, confusion pulling my lips to a frown. "What do you mean? I know everybody was kind of weird at the club but–" I stopped myself midsentence as Jasper lifted his shirt, exposing the sea of crisscrossing scars that littered his torso mercilessly.

I didn't understand. Truthfully, I was much more concerned with the abdominal muscles they decorated, rather than the puckering lashes themselves. Shaking my head, I felt unbecoming wrinkles begin to purse on my forehead.

"–but I look like a freak." He murmured, blond strands twisting into his face as he looked down at his bared stomach. I shook my head sharply, stretching my arms out to press my palms onto his skin.

Skimming my nails over the shiny lumps I buzzed my lips together. "Jackson will think they're cool." My hopeful smile fell short when he croaked out a feeble chuckle. "C'mon Jazzy! I bet they won't even notice."

Jasper nodded wordlessly, dropping the hem of his shirt again once I removed my hands. "You're probably right." His voice was soft, his lilt sounding hoarse.

I threw my arms up enthusiastically, "I'm always right!"

He kissed my cheek and I left him alone. Jasper was one I especially did not push – and I am not one to be refused – he just had a way of gazing _into_ me. Although he said nothing, the simple gleam in his eye willed me quiet. That teeny little flicker that flashed in his eyes was the equivalent to him saying: _"Alice, please. Enough is enough." _

I kept quiet, deciding against getting under his skin. Although, I didn't hide my pout when I realized he hadn't planned to wear beach clothes at all.

Jasper donned this thin, long-sleeved burgundy shirt that certainly could have been flattering, had he not intended to wear it to the beach. It was when he dragged on a pair of jeans that I couldn't bare it any longer and begged. He grinned at me lopsidedly and told me he would roll them up if he got warm.

I opted for argument, determined to break him down until Jackson waltzed in. He ran his palms obliviously over his Transformers t-shirt, his enthusiastic gaze probed at me. "Are you ready yet?"

Tilting my head I took one last look in the mirror before settling on this bathing suit. I packed my things and checked to make sure Jackson had brought everything I told him to. He'd recently grown opposed to wearing any type of sunscreen, and thought that he could outwit me by taking it out after I put it in his backpack. Yeah, right.

I did the same thing as a kid, so many times that Carlisle and Esme would bring an extra bottle.

Jasper drove, mumbling about this and that to keep me occupied. What is it with boys? Do they think if they start talking about the weather that you'll just conveniently _forget_ that you're annoyed with them?

I spent the car ride _harrumph_ing in the passenger seat, arms crossed irately over my chest, constantly changing the radio station in the Mercedes. Jasper didn't look at me, but his lips fidgeted restlessly to shield a smirk.

"Are we there yet?" Jackson asked, writhing on the slippery back seat, thumb running across the rough material of his cast. When I shook my head he groaned, "Will we be there soon?"

Glancing in the rear-view I could see him pouting, pushing his hair back with his good hand and gawked at me with his big green eyes. Quickly I looked away, pretending to see something interesting out the passenger window. I bit my lip and sighed at my reflection in the glass, sooner or later I was going to have to stop this. It was inescapable after all.

We met at Bella's house, where Edward was leaning on the back of his Volvo, face tilted back into the sun. He seemed to glow beneath the golden ribbons. Jasper stopped on the curb behind the silver vehicle, Bella's hideous truck and Charlie's cruiser filling the driveway.

My brother looked down and smiled. It was his trademark grin that dazzled the girls we had gone to school with, and often made Bella a dangerously clumsy disaster-waiting-to-happen. The worst part was that he didn't even realize it.

"Hey." Edward said as I got out of the car, paying no heed to Jasper as I danced over to join him. "I didn't actually think it'd be nice out," Edward admitted sheepishly, tilting his head to the side.

I laughed, "I know. Emmett's never gonna let us live it down." Edward began to respond when a bloodcurdling screech made us both jump up. Like lightning he was around the front of the Volvo and collecting Bella up off the pavement.

"What am I going to do with you?" Edward was muttering, taking her hands in his and examining the fine scratches on her palms. Bella was flushed from the hollow of her throat clear to her hairline, she stammered helplessly and averted her gaze from his.

Unable to stop myself I giggled shamelessly, "Those dangerous flat surfaces get ya again Bells?"

Bella scowled at me. She drew her hands back and tucked them in her underarms, "Really, I'm okay. I just..." As her voice faded she bit at her lower lip, combing her hair behind her ears. "I tripped on my foot."

Edward rolled his eyes at her leaning over to gather up the backpack she had dropped. While my brother threw her bag in the back seat, Charlie came out onto the porch. His glare sought out Edward before he noticed me and smiled hugely. "Alice!"

I meandered up to where he stood and welcomed his embrace. Charlie looked around me, "Where's mini-me?" I chuckled at his question and threw my thumb over my shoulder towards Jasper's Mercedes.

Charlie took the moment to brush at his moustache, look around me and shake his head at Bella. I could tell he was struggling not to chuckle. "You okay honey?"

Bella groaned, hands balling into fists as she whipped her head side to side, glancing up and down the street. "Ugh, did the whole neighbourhood see?" Her cheeks, which had begun to go back to their natural colour, flared crimson once again.

Charlie smiled while we watched her duck into Edward's car and slam the door. I smirked at Bella's annoyed expression, she jerked the hood of her sweater up over her head.

"You kids be good now." Charlie was saying after I'd hugged him goodbye and headed back to the Mercedes. His remark made me feel like I should've been driving off to high school.

Emmett's red jeep came roaring up beside the Volvo suddenly. Rosalie in the passenger seat neglected the twisting buckles that were meant to keep her in. Instead she lounged there, stroking on a layer of red lipstick in the mirror.

Emmett waved one burly arm, his expression similar to Jackson's – grin from ear-to-ear, eyes bulging with excitement. I smiled at Charlie again as I climbed back into the car beside Jasper.

Jasper said nothing, starting the car and following behind Edward while Emmett took point. Jackson pressed his face to the glass, his eyes following the trees, squinting when the sun hit them.

I didn't know when exactly, but one second I was gaping out the passenger window at the water we were quickly approaching and the next I was fast asleep.

The sun heated my skin through my cotton t-shirt and shorts, I saw red before my eyelids and fluttered them open reluctantly. Jasper was smiling above me, opening the passenger door to allow in a single whoosh of chilly lake-water wind. It smelt of trees and musk outside, I could already feel the burn of sparkling sand beneath my feet.

Taking Jasper's hand without thought, I let him pull me out and into the open span of the beach. Despite the size of Forks, it never ceased to take my breath away – and I've travelled _everywhere – _there wasn't anything else in the world that could beat this beauty.

The air was delicious, moist and tangy with the heavy wash of lake water. The sand under my sandals was white and hot, it glittered under the sun and felt like fine silk. Bordering the beach in like a great green fence was a series of trees, sunlight peeking in through the break in the branches. Farther out was the dark smudge of navy blue water, which roiled and rumbled up onto the shore. To the west of the lake were the high, jagged cliffs that Emmett, Edward and I would jump off when Carlisle and Esme weren't watching.

Closing my eyes again I inhaled deeply. This place was a diary of secrets all in it's own. This pale sand was the grounds for my sixteenth birthday, my first beer, my _first_ _time_ and my first – and last – skinny dip. Someone touched my leg and I gazed down at Jackson, a nostalgic smile on my face.

"Are we there _now_?" He said, impatient emphasis on the 'now'. I giggled and nodded. Closing my eyes against the sun a little, I watched as he threw his arms up and ran screaming towards the water.

I paced after Jackson, my eyes locked onto his pale form dancing at the shoreline. His voice would arc up whenever the water came charging forward. Jackson would shriek when he ran from the rolling foam pushing up, and laughed as he chased it back again.

Soon Bella was standing beside me, clutching a sweater of Edward's around herself. I rolled my eyes, "Bella, the sun's out for crying out loud."

Her teeth chattered a while before she responded. "Sure, but it isn't _warm_. I can't believe you guys – the water's freezing!" She shook her head, brown hair billowing around her face. Bella wore a pair of grey track pants I bought her, I could see a plain green t-shirt under the sweater she wrapped around herself.

The two of us leapt at the whip of ivory skin that flashed by us. Emmett was swearing, throwing his shirt to the side while chasing after Edward, who was already knee-deep in the water. Both of my brothers are excellent runners, but I swear I've never seen anyone as fast as Edward before.

Bella dreamily tilted her head to the side as if to get a better view. Edward's hair almost looked red in the sunlight, with the water splashed on his skin his whole body seemed to sparkle. He turned and flashed an arrogant smirk at Emmett before Edward vanished into the dark wash altogether.

I nudged Bella and she nearly fell over, gasping at the sudden contact as if she had been woken from a dream. Her face reddened as I laughed at her.

Rosalie snorted, unfolding a cute hot pink beach chair. "Don't worry about it Emmett, I'll unpack everything." She spoke sourly to herself, setting out her chair and dropping into the bucket-like seat.

Bella and I grinned at each other, returning to the cars where Jasper hung back. I left Bella to her ministrations, watching her cautiously from the corner of my eyes. Bella was bad enough on a solid flat surface, making her walk on the smooth lumps of sand almost seemed cruel.

"Are you okay?" I asked, running my hand over Jasper's arm. His hard expression cracked a little and he smiled softly down at me. Jasper nodded, leaning towards my touch. He seemed very stiff to me, robotic as if he had to think about his every move.

I took his hand in mine, "Come swim with me." Jasper nodded mechanically without speaking, following me down the beach toward the water's edge.

A little ways out Edward was spread on his back, easily staying afloat atop the current. Jackson's laughter was sharp and shrill while he clung to Emmett's back as he swam farther out.

A knot formed in my gut. Jackie couldn't ever be in any sort of danger with Emmett and Edward, but all the horrific possibilities still flickered in my mind.

My toes curled into the warmth beneath the dark, black sand where the water was coming onto the shore. A fine, electric jolt passed straight up from the arch of my foot to the crown of my head. _Home_, I thought, this is home.

Beginning to wade out I was stopped by an abrupt jerk and remembered I was very much attached to Jasper. I turned to him hopefully and found his expression to be a fearful one, his eyes became guarded and his mouth unmoving and harsh.

"I'll just...watch." Jasper murmured, a sort of finality to his tone making me scowl. He grinned at me encouragingly as if to say, _"go and have fun". _

I made a face I hadn't used since I was a child, one Jackson had perfected over the years. Putting out my bottom lip I looked up at him from under a set of thick eyelashes and pouted. "Jazzy..." The almost whimper of my voice seemed to make him cave, but Jasper's will is an adamant thing that made it's rebuff very clear in his responding glare.

"Not this time Alice." He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. For a split second Jasper looked beyond me and out at the water brushing up my calves as it breathed in and out onto land. His gaze was longing and then hard and bleak. "Not this time." He repeated.

"Mommy!" A high-pitched voice sang. I looked instinctively and smiled while Jackson beckoned me towards where he and Emmett were treading. I felt myself tear down the middle, it was an icy feeling, a bitter isolated notion that nearly brought me to throw up.

Now I looked to Jasper, not with the beseeching expression, but one of panic. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. The look of understanding he always seem to wear shone on his features strongly now. "I'm not going anywhere, Miss Cullen." Jasper said smoothly, using that oh-so-sweet southern accent of his to make my heart race.

Reluctantly I nodded a fraction and began my way towards Jackson's delighted face in the distance.

Edward, the show-off he is, swam circles around me the entire way until I was with Emmett and Jackson. The water was a little colder out here, I could feel the goose bumps taking shape all over my skin, but it wasn't anything I hadn't felt before.

Jackson's hair was plastered to his face, a great black spill that cascaded down the back of his neck and into his eyes. He made the clumsy pass off from Emmett to me, and as soon as he was in my arms, Emmett whirled and pushed Edward under the tide with a booming laugh.

We swam until we were wrinkly, and Jackson whined about the cold. I took him back to the beach and coiled his towel around him snugly. Even still he waddled back to the water's edge, hands around his eyes like binoculars to watch Emmett and Edward racing towards the cliffs.

Rosalie had worked up a sort of tan, her golden hair spread perfectly over her shoulders. Her head was tilted back a fraction to welcome the press of heat. Rose donned a white bathing suit, a strapless two-piece that made her look even more like an angel than she already did.

Bella sat on a towel beside her, holding her sweater around herself. The very, _very _decimated copy of Romeo and Juliet opened in her lap, although she wasn't reading – but rather staring off after Edward and Emmett.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked once I was certain Jackson was safe where he was. Rosalie looked at me harshly then glanced over her shoulder to indicate the cars.

My hair was heavy on my skin, slick and sticky and dry in some places but sopping in others. Jasper looked at me as if I was some kind of incarnate of Venus coming out of the water for him.

He sat in the Mercedes, holding a cell phone to his head but he speedily ended the call when I opened the driver's door. "How can you even hear on that thing way out here?" I demanded to know, my cell phone always crapped out on me when we left certain vicinities in Forks.

"It isn't easy," Jasper promised, climbing out to tower over me in the way only he did. It annoyed me even now. "You look like a prune." He snickered when I smacked him, looking down at my shrivelled hands.

I let him hold me a moment. He didn't seem to mind the wet seeping through his clothes, I relished in the heat his body guaranteed. "You trust me right?" I spoke to his chest softly, gradually pinching the hem of his shirt in my fingers.

Jasper tilted his head at me as if I'd grown a third eye. "What would make you ask such a silly question?" He asked, slightly offended. I grinned, holding him tighter.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Jazzy." Snuggling my face into his embrace I barely felt the wet layer doused on my skin. "Come and have fun with me."

Looking up to ensure he had heard all that I said, I saw a struggle break out on Jasper's face. That endless, stagnant expression fighting to dominate while another, hopeful gleam shimmered in his eyes.

He unlocked my arms from around his waist and pushed up the sleeves of his thermal. Jasper's bout of confidence slipped when he looked down at the evident miss-match marks on his skin. At long last he lifted the concealing burgundy material up and over his head, disturbing his mess of blond locks as he did so.

Jasper gave me an angular smile, one that was soft and faint. It was a smile just for me. I took his hands in mine and pulled him towards the beach again, skipping as I went.

Alice was back, and she was bright and burning like the sun that baked the sand.

Jasper made that same brutally composed face when we reached Bella and Rosalie. He looked as if he was in genuine pain. Bella glanced away from where Edward and Emmett were walking up the beach, swinging Jackie back and forth, and gasped. Jasper flinched but I was certain it was so quick and so acute that neither Bella nor Rose had distinctly noticed.

Squeezing Jasper's hand, I felt his blue eyes helplessly search my face. Smiling widely I ran my hand over his chest, suddenly very aware of the wicked scars covering his torso. "He's pretty, hmm?"

Bella's eyes widened a little and she looked at me sharply, after what seemed like hours she nodded mindlessly. Her face began to burn red and I removed her from the spotlight before she combust. Rosalie jumped in swiftly, like a bird to prey.

She snorted irately, eyes closed against the dwindling sun. "Please, Bella, you don't need to lie – he's practically a lump of scar tissue. There's no need to pretend."

Jasper swayed from the impact of her statement, eyes squelching shut, his lips pressing into a tight line. He didn't move much more than that, and yet it felt to me as though Jasper had vanished. When his eyes opened again, they were full of unfeeling, ominous intent. His blue gaze flickered over his sister once, though the simplicity of the look was terrifying all on its own. He had that look of fury in his eyes, like he had when he talked of Maria.

Emmett was saying something about a bonfire as he came closer and I rolled my eyes out of habit. He looked to me, then to Jasper at my side and my brother's eyes bulged, Emmett uttering a low; "Whoa...!"

Still Jasper was wordless, expressionless. Vacant.

Edward had that look of curiosity on his face, one he and Carlisle shared. It had that almost...doctor-ish look to it, as if he was examining a patient. Although it only lasted a minute, before Bella's presence began to work on him.

Butterflies rose impatiently in my stomach and I pulled on Jasper's hand. He followed without quarrel.

My hair was dry now, feathery and weightless. It bounced around my face as I moved, my bangs brushing across my eyebrows. I brought Jasper to a part of the beach I'd never shown anyone else, except my Dad.

I tried my hand a running away when I was in public school, Edward and I had gotten in a huge fight. Back then I couldn't sneak over to Rosalie's or Bella's when my brothers were being jerks.

Instead I would come here, it was a sort of ledge that peeked narrowly over the water, and the waves would smash up against it in great rolling blasts.

You had to have a nimble foot to reach it; with the trees lining your back the whole way, a reckless step like Emmett's would never suffice. And Edward was smart, but he didn't have the patience to work out the proper footing when we were kids.

There wasn't a path, but I'd memorized the way there just by familiar landmarks. There was a petrified tree that I had to duck under at the entrance, it lurched over the path and the edge of the narrow cliff. Next there were those blue flowers that butterflies and bees always fought over in the spring – they were my favourite. I'd creep around one last bend, the one I could practice my ballet step on, and there was the ledge, flat and green with squishy moss and surrounded by daises.

We had to sit on the ledge now, and our legs dangled over the jagged rocks sixty feet or so down. When I was little, I could practically lay out an entire picnic blanket and still have room. I guess I've grown a fair bit after all.

"I'm sorry Jasper." I murmured, squirming in the inescapable clinginess of my bathing suit. Half-heartedly I released his fingers from mine and sat cross-legged on the pad of moss, my back against the coarse bark of a tree.

He tilted his head in that way only Jasper could, the tresses of blond hiding his face. Jasper didn't slouch when he sat beside me, his back was ramrod straight, and he didn't lean either. He looked like a soldier now.

Shunning the horrid and angry thoughts from my mind I drew my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. "They don't mean in." Then I frowned, "Well...Rosalie might've."

"She's right." He whispered, "Look at me Alice. It's pretty gruesome." He extended his arm and twisted it in the air between us, the fading sunlight flashed on the slippery lumps of scar tissue.

I shrugged, they didn't bother me. It was how he'd acquired them that upset me the most.

Gasping his forearm in both hands I brought his hand to my face and kissed the numerous lashes until I reached the soft crease of his elbow. Jasper watched me with half-lidded eyes until I scaled his shoulder to his throat. I bit the last one I could reach, just under his chin, it was uneven and puckering, a light discolour against his warm skin.

"You're pretty to me, Major Whitlock." I mumbled, mouth against his ear. Jasper's face flushed as leaned against his shoulder, he smiled out of the blue, that crooked cowboy grin that made the dimple in his chin stand out.

He turned his face towards the water, fading sunlight splashing oranges and red across his face. The breeze coming off the wash played tricks with Jasper's face, showing his expression clearly. His eyes were closed, that big, slanted smile spread on his mouth.

"What?" I asked, turning my head so I could feel the warmth of his bare shoulder on my cheek. Jasper was quiet, my entire body broke out in subtle shivers as his hand crept over mine.

He shook his head slowly. "Been a while," Confusion danced on my face. Jasper sighed a low laugh, "Since I felt...I felt _hope_."

An odd sense of déjà vu rattled me a moment, I was incredibly dizzy with it. It was like knowing the answer to something you didn't quite have the question for yet.

I looked up at Jasper in puzzlement. "I think I dreamed this. Maybe." I was expecting his usual insight, that Jasper-smart that seemed to always set my arrow straight again.

Rather than that, Jasper shrugged and closed his eyes. "That doesn't surprise me at all, Darlin'."


	19. Not a Good day to be a Cowboy

Wow long time no chapter post eh? ...my bad :/ seriously thought I'd lost the touch for a while there, my brain was working on a million different things and I'M SORRY! But the chapter is here now :D and it's a special FIRST AND LAST chapter :3 so... forgive me? iI'm gunna post the next chapter reeeeeeaaaally sooon!

~Selene

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~JASPER'S POV~

"_Baby...Rosalie's in the hospital."A familiar voice. Mom's voice. She looked at me helplessly, sitting on the porch, as she always did. She clutched the book resting in her lap as if to snap the hard cover in half. She found me with her big, silvery eyes all blood shot and dark from crying. _

_I laughed, trying to make her smile. "She break another nail?" My tone was teasing and for a split second I wondered if maybe it was to comfort myself. _

_Mom's forehead furrowed beneath the soft brown curls draping around her face. Her expression was tight. It made me nervous, the waves coming off of her, this was a thick worried emotion that was strangling me. _

"_Royce was drinking last night, with some friends-" She choked on her words. She choked so hard that her book slipped from her hands, landing with a _thunk_ on the wooden porch panels. "Things...got out of hand. He hurt her Jasper." _

_She was sobbing now. _

_Mom was saying something – shouting something – but I couldn't hear her over the sound of my own breathing. I couldn't think of another time I'd started the truck so fast in my life. _

_It felt like it took seconds for me to get to the hospital, just seconds. _

_I burst through the doors–_

"_Let's go chief!" Todd smacked my arm. _

_I shook my head at him, smearing sweat down my face as I wiped my forehead. "This is serious, Todd, you should be–"_

"_As nervous as a flea on dip day?" Sean winked at me, his brother laughing at the joke. They looked so much alike, then again, we all did – caked in dirt as usual. _

_I made a face, "Is that a crack at my accent, private?" But before I could make any real threat, they'd already linked arms and started stomping around in some clumsy hoedown. _

_Trying my hardest to keep a straight face, I snorted. "Get in the truck, damn it." _

I woke with a headache and rolled away only slightly, surprised to hear the quiet whimper from behind me. Laying down on my back again, I turned my head to stare at the crinkled pillow beside me.

Casting my gaze downward, I found Alice, curled tightly in a ball against my side. Her hair was matted every which way, her small face hidden behind a mess of ebony snarls. I could just make out the small, glamorous curves of her lips, and her tiny nose.

She's so _small_, I thought with a grin, I couldn't think of anyone else that was so little and fragile like Alice. Nor could I think of anyone as beautiful and strange.

Alice yawned in her sleep, a small hand snaking out of the sheets to pull the duvet snugly to her face. I took hold of the plump bedding to drag more over to her side, her teeny form reacted to the motion subconsciously. I tried to stay as still as I could, smiling to myself as Alice unfurled from her ball to stuff her hands up and under my t-shirt, her legs twining around mine.

She slept so much. I sort of envied it. I can't remember a time I slept so deep or so long. I swear I could crash a cymbal beside Alice's head and she wouldn't so much as wince.

Go to sleep Jasper, I told myself, squeezing my eyes shut. I slowed my breaths, stretched them out, held them longer in a vain attempt to force myself to sleep.

But I couldn't. My body was fried, just like Rosalie had said. I was waiting for a bang, a gunshot, a scream – _Something – _that would force me to jump up, to take action. I'd grown so used to being on edge I couldn't recall what it was like to breathe calmly, to relax.

To be honest, I was terrified that if I let my guard down again, I'd never find the strength to put it back up. Exhaling slowly, I focused on the feel of Alice's hand on my stomach. Her hands were so perfect, so unlike mine.

What'd she see in me? I didn't want to know. I didn't even want to ask myself that. I always thought of her as I'd first seen her, so teeny and so frightening and _so unattainable_, I still couldn't believe she was sleeping right here beside me.

I don't deserve this, really, I haven't done anything worthy enough to result in Alice's compassion. Even though she's real, Jackson's real, I'm terrified that I'll wake up somewhere in the sand, in the heat, sweating like a pig, wondering who I'll kill next – if I'll get shot today.

Even still, something in me _needed_ that. Not for a thrill, for peace of mind. It felt as though I'd lost some battle, hiding myself here in Alice's world when I should be there.

Glancing over, I could just make out the silhouette of the puny velvet box on Alice's nightstand. My pin, which she refused to wear, waited for her inside that box.

Closing my eyes again I waited for daybreak, for the sound of Jackson's shouting, for Alice to wake up...

At long last, Alice yawned and stretched. I pretended to be asleep, feeling her come to life beside me. And she did, small palms slipping away from me to scale the span of my chest – I almost couldn't keep my breathing even.

She touched my face and scoffed, "Eww, Jazzy, you need to shave." I couldn't hold it in anymore, wrapping my arms around her frame and peeking open an eye. Alice's fingers scraped across the stubble that I hadn't noticed, a thin sandpaper barrier that kept my skin from hers.

Alice was incredible in the morning, I can't figure out for the life of me why, but she was so damn gorgeous. Her hair was much wilder than I'd originally thought, beneath the knots her face was pink and flushed from hibernation.

She realized I was staring and crimson stained itself atop the pink of her cheeks. Still puny, terrifying Alice scrunched her face up in defiance and fought off a smile.

"It's not that bad," I murmured, lifting a hand from her lower back to scrape my palm over my jaw. It really wasn't so terrible. Mussing up Alice's hair I began to sit up. I could see how tan she was from the beach now that the blankets were pulling back.

She suddenly got this look on her face. It was subtle – maybe I was just over-thinking – but her eyes, every shade of yellow I could think of, grew distant. It was as if she could see something in the distance I couldn't. This look made me paranoid, anxious.

I pushed her hair back, wanting to see more of those eyes. "What?" Alice didn't answer right away, staring away blankly at something before she hummed and gazed at me curiously, like she'd lost her train of thought. My lips twitched, "Where'd you go?"

A sour look twisted Alice's features for a moment, quickly she shrugged and smile at me. "I just zoned out." I leaned in slightly and she repeated what she had said.

Alice's voice. I hugged her close and pretended I needed her to say it again and again until her lips were pressed right to my ear. There wasn't a sound like that in the world, I thought. She snickered sinisterly in her throat and leaned away from me no more than an inch.

"You're hearing's still pretty bad." Her voice was hopeful, excited. I winced. Alice's little hands fisted my hair, pulling it out of my eyes. "That means you won't have to go." She smiled widely and I clenched my teeth.

Her face scrunched, her little form wriggling against mine until her similarly little mouth could reach me. A million traditions worked their way through my head all at once.

In my world, I would have asked if this was okay, if I even had the right to kiss her like this. I would have been a gentleman.

When I was in Alice's world, however, I had learned to let instinct push away all the sophistication my Mother had insisted upon.

I revelled in the smoothness of her skin, the twists of her hair and wondered how I'd do without this.

There was something different in being with Alice – in any way. The way she _felt _was so...unreal, I can't always place words to describe it.

I'd always been good at reading people – their moods – it came in handy when Rosalie went on rampages when we were kids. I was always a step ahead of everyone else, sometimes I wondered if that was how I got to Major so fast.

Then again, it's a curse too I suppose. I'll never forget what it was like to hurt someone, to see it on their face – because I can feel everything they are.

Squeezing my eyes shut against that thought, I focused on what Alice was feeling. She was quite easy to read, I'd concentrated on her long enough to just _know_ now.

Anxiety. I'd become very good at catching her apprehension, at what upset her, or what frightened her. Although this anxiety was the good type. For as small as she is, Alice is an incredibly impatient person, and just as impeccably mighty as she can be eager.

Her hands weren't strong enough to keep mine down, so she spread her legs a bit more and pinned my arms to my sides with her knees. She wore a smirk that paralleled her brother Emmett's as she did this.

"You don't think you're a little overconfident?" I said, blowing a familiar blond strand from my face. She rolled her eyes at me, but otherwise ignored my remark, faced with a new predicament Alice frowned.

Poor girl couldn't get my shirt off unless she let my arms go, but that wasn't such a safe idea. Like a switch to a light bulb flickered in her mind, Alice's face brightened, she pressed her lips together – swollen and red from my abuse – and ran her palms down my sides.

This was something I could've very much enjoyed, if only she didn't look so devious while doing so. Her eyes flashed to mine, narrowed and wicked, and she grasped the bottom of my t-shirt. There was a terrible sound, one that part of me wanted to confuse with the shredding of flesh, instead I gawked at the perfectly straight rip up the hem on my side.

She looked disheartened by what she'd done, then gradually grinned. "Now my dress can rest in peace."

I scoffed melodramatically, about to jump to my defence when her fingertips crisscrossed their way down my stomach, mimicking the pattern of my scars.

God, my _scars_. I grimaced and attempted to roll her off of me, Alice scowled and pressed all her weight down onto my forearms. From beneath the knots of her black hair, those unbelievable golden eyes stabbed at me. _"Stay,"_ they pleaded, and held my gaze for a moment longer before she proceeded with her efforts.

I'd never admit to it, _never, _because not only would it wound my ego enormously, but I would feel as though I corrupted this little fairy and made her into a monster. But the things Alice could _do _to me! – I barely remembered how to think properly.

All that was coherently pulsing through my mind was how badly I wanted to hold something. My gaze flickered upward to the headboard, my constant companion whenever I shared Alice's bed, however it was most certainly out of my reach.

"Jazzy," Alice was saying, murmuring perhaps, her voice was just so sudden, so close. No, I thought, no I can't do this any longer. It wasn't hard to wrestle my arms free – I wasn't very gentle in going about it – and the surprise on her face made me smirk.

Willing her to her back, I fought off my laughter at her defeated expression. I shrugged out of the remnants of my t-shirt and quickly found lodgement for myself.

Despite her playful battles, I couldn't imagine being rough with Alice, I couldn't so much as honestly bring it to mind.

My heart was in my throat, throbbing away so hard it'd be impossible to voice my ecstasy even if I wanted to. She clutched me to her so tightly I struggled to find a suitable pace, between the race of her heart and mine.

Reading people is more of a curse, I realized, I was so attuned to Alice, she made me crazy. The way her expressions changed, the way she held me, said my name, it was all so much.

When suddenly, it all stopped, her face blanked like it had earlier. She smiled after an agonizing minute and wrapped herself around me, her arms and legs like a knot. "I love you Jasper. I do." I'd heard it before, maybe, from a different life. But Alice's voice was so clear, so soft...

It was hard to leave Alice's apartment. As soon as I closed the door behind me, the hope was gone again, like it came and went as she did. I dug my hands into my pockets and made myself enter the elevator, those doors closed and I was alone.

Jackson had tagged along with me, having decided that 'he needed a day with another guy'. Alice had giggled when he dropped that line on me, but I figured she could get some work done while we were gone.

This morning haunted me – it would continue to haunt me. Just thinking about it made my skin crawl, leaning back against the elevator wall I closed my eyes and waited for the chime. Jackson rambled on about having a mud fight with his friend Colin last week, I struggled to listen.

"_I love you Jasper. I do." _

To be honest, I couldn't remember the last time I'd heard those words. I lifted my head slightly and brought it back harshly against the wall. "Now what, Jasper?" I mumbled to myself, low enough that Jack wouldn't hear. "Now what are you gonna do?"

I love Alice, I've got a feeling I always did, somehow. In my own totally screwed up way, and she saw me like that, she must've known – she must've seen me coming. And Jackson? I scrutinized him for a second, just thinking about him made me furious, furious because he wasn't mine. Was that wrong?

My fingers twitched. I wanted to hurt Tristan – I wanted to do more than hurt him – what was worse, was that I had the capacity to do it.

Breathing in slowly I held it for a long while, exhaling after a moment. My anger seemed to crush the elevator – it was everywhere. A 'side effect', my Mother used to say, because I was just so good at reading people. Strong emotions exhausted me a great deal, even my own.

It was a relief to be in the lobby, surrounded by a different atmosphere. However, it was only for so long before Alice's friend Andrew spotted me. As soon as he saw Jack at my side I felt jealousy pouring from him, stifling a chuckle under my breath. His eyes were daggers at my throat until we left the building, no doubt leaving him in a stew.

Alice was my world. Mine.

The Mercedes was home to me. It had lost the scent I'd filled it with when I'd first come to Forks. But I couldn't forget it, the heat, both too moist and too dry, grass on the air and the perfume of my Mother's.

The minute I'd left the parking lot I was scanning for police cars. The speed limit and I had never been very good acquaintances since I'd first acquired my driver's licence. The decorum and chivalry engraved in my mind lost it's grip when I got behind the wheel. In my car I would do whatever I wanted to. I let Jackson play with the radio stations, he told me about the music he liked – rock music apparently – music that drove his Mother crazy.

It was raining outside, surprisingly heavy, the streets were awash with it. Equally surprising, was how much more beautiful Forks was because of it. The trees greener, the grass richer, the air thick with the damp scent of earth.

You could stay here, whispered a voice from the back of my mind. A voice that sounded very much like Alice's.

I stared up at my apartment building, sopping wet and black due to the weather. Shaking my hair out once I was inside, I opted for the stairs over the confinement presented by the elevators. Jackson made it up the first flight and groaned, laughing riotously when I scooped him up under my arm like a football.

As a teenager I may have huffed and puffed at just how many stairs I had to scale, but the training I'd been doing at headquarters made this seem like a joke.

I reached my floor, yearning to get out of my clingy, drenched clothes. Pausing before my door I stared at the handle, acutely aware of something..._off_. Drawing out my keys, I relied on old habits, speedily unlocking the door and slinking inside soundlessly.

"Stay here for a second, Jackie." I said slowly, trying to keep my tone upbeat. He tilted his head curiously, then shrugged off my statement with a nod.

My fingers itched for some sort of weapon.

Close to the walls, I breathed carefully through my nose, depending on my odd sixth-sense as I moved through the apartment. I considered the living room, but immediately dismissed that idea – it was far too open.

Slithering into the kitchen, I steadied my heart beat. Ignoring the light switch I squinted and glanced around the room. The light came on without command, I whirled on my heels and snatched at a very vulnerable throat. Happening to be close enough to the counter, I pressed the blade of a kitchen knife to my opponents flesh.

"Oh! We haven't done this in a while."

I dropped the knife, staggered backwards into the kitchen table and clutched the edge of a chair to steady myself. No, no, no, no. I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my free hand and blinked before I looked up again.

"What's that look for?" Maria cocked her head to the side, hair swaying over her shoulder. Her accent made my gut loop around itself. "Did you miss–"

She was cut off by the squeaky sound of rubber boots, Jackson turned the corner into the kitchen. His eyes, big eyes like Alice's flickered from me to Maria to the shimmery knife on the floor. He didn't understand.

Maria's face, a face I'd buried deep inside my nightmares, twisted from mockery to pure outrage. "What's this Jasper? Is there something you want to tell me?" She demanded, jabbed a long fingernail down at Jackie, who jumped and darted around her to me.

I leaned down and picked him up as I'd seen Alice do countless times, holding his form on my hip. "Who's that?" He whispered in my ear conspicuously.

Shaking my head sharply, I glared darkly at Maria. "No one," I watched her slender eyebrows arch at my response.

My body was beginning to cave in on me. I was more likely to crumble to bits in front of Maria than any army. She was tall, fine. Her features were exotic in an overly-sensual way. I tried not to crush Jackson in my trepidation.

Maria puckered her lips at me, her eyes falling thin, dark pupils obscured by thick eyelashes. She smiled cryptically, as if catching onto a joke that I hadn't. "When Rosalie's Mother told me you'd found someone, I didn't think you'd run around procreating like rabbits." She cocked a slim eyebrow at me, waving away a thick curl of hair with her fingertips.

"What do you mean Rosalie's Mother?" My voice was rough, angry – a facade of course. I couldn't lie to Maria. From deep inside I felt a train wreck begin to resurface, my skin crawled with memories that made me sick to my stomach.

Maria sighed, sauntering around a stride or two before buzzing her lips at me. Something maniacal flashed in her eyes. "After your sister's little engagement party-" She smirked wickedly and drew a thick chocolate brown lock out of her eyes with her pinkie "-Congratulations by the way. Rose's Mother called me about how terribly worried she was about your new boo. She just doesn't want to see that poor girl's heart shattered."

Jackson looked up to me now, I knew he would grasp sporadic bits of what Maria was saying – but I had high hopes that perhaps he'd allow it to slip.

I swallowed back a growl, Maria's smile widening to flash a pearly set of fine teeth, she laughed at me mockingly. Maria leaned to pluck up the kitchen knife, turning it over in her hands before resting it back down on the countertop.

She rolled up the sleeves of the black jacket she wore, already drying from the pour outside. "She's cute," Maria shrugged absently, glancing over her shoulder with cold brown eyes. My heart skipped a beat, "If you're into that uselessly tiny, _pixie-wannabe_ kind of thing. He looks just like her," Maria poked a long fingernail at Jackson.

A small hand gripped at the stickiness of my shirt, Jackson pulling himself closer. He squirmed against my side, the angst rolling off of him assaulted me, bubbling and washing straight into my skin. Out of habit, I tilted my body slightly to block Jackson's form with my own.

"How old is he?" Maria asked, "What's his name?" There was a new tone in her voice, I could feel it beating within her words. Thick and coagulated. Envy. My lips twisted slightly, I might have grinned even.

"Get out." I answered sharply, taking advantage of what little weakness Maria presented. "And if you dare go near Alice again, I swear I'll–"

She rolled her eyes and laughed a dry, humourless sound. "Oh stop, Jasper, you don't need me to wreck this little _wonderland_ of yours. We both know you'll end up doing it yourself – like you ruin everything else." Maria's accent was gentle, not hostile which somehow made her words all the more cutting.

"I want her to go away." Jackson whispered in my ear, if he hadn't been so close to me I might not have heard him at all.

Maria's eyes narrowed on the small body pressed up against mine. "Does she know how soon you're leaving?" I tensed at her remark, speedily composing myself again but it was far too late. Maria grinned, "No. Of course she doesn't. I wonder how long it'll be until you break down Jasper, and come crawling back to me as always."

"Get out!" I shouted, Jackson whimpered. Maria snorted a low chuckle and twinkled her fingers at me, pivoting on the point of her heels before waltzing out the foyer. A moment later the door slammed.

Setting Jackson on his feet, I struggled to regain myself, digging around deep inside for some rational feeling or thought. Maria made me hate myself, made me hate _everything_ all over again.

Something brushed my hand.

Jackson waved my cell phone at me – I hadn't even realized I'd dropped it. It vibrated in his small hand, his hair spreading across his forehead as he peered up at me. Exactly like Alice would.

"It's buzzing." He almost giggled, proceeding to wave the demanding device at me.

For a moment I wondered what it would be like to bounce back like he did. Jackson was acting as if Maria hadn't been her at all – he seemed completely unfazed by my whole outburst.

What would it be like to dispel such traumas rather than absorb them?

For the inability to form words, I forced a smile a little too hard although Jackson did not seem to comprehend this.

Flipping the phone open I grunted into the receiver, attempting to untangle the painful knot my tongue had become.

"Jasper!" Alice said, her voice almost in a panic. "I just had the weirdest sense of déjà vu – are you okay?"


	20. Incestuous Hearing Damage

Okay! Hey guys :D I actually had fun writing this chapter, although it was kinda hard following up the Maria incident. And I have some ideas left, but I totally JUST realized how long this story is. Let me know if it's just getting to lengthy. Just say it, cuz I don't wanna ruin Alice/Jasper romances with a way drawn out plot. Sorry guys, it's back in Alice's POV now :)

~Selene

* * *

Jasper was gone. Genuinely, wholeheartedly _gone_. He wouldn't even answer his text messages, or phone calls, or voice-mails.

I wouldn't be lying if I said it'd started to affect me – just when I thought I had Alice back too. I frowned into the laundry, sorting out Jackson's clothes from mine.

It had been such a slow day. With Jackson gone to his friend's cottage all weekend for a birthday party, I wasn't sure if I'd survive the next two days. Not to mention the guaranteed nightmare Rosalie had in store for me tonight.

As soon as I had mention Jasper's absence she'd been all but too happy to go out. A girl's night. The idea of which made me scowl. If you've ever tried to go partying with your two best friends – one of which despises the other – and you're the only single one, you'd understand.

I couldn't imagine a worse situation seeing as I had absolutely no intention of being with anyone but Jasper.

Jasper who refused to answer my calls...

"Oh!" I started at a faint stain in the cream coloured pillow case in my hands. Throwing the fabric into the washing machine, I gently swept my fingertips over my cheeks. "Tears," I murmured, groaning lowly.

In the back pocket of my jeans my cell phone buzzed. I nearly dropped the laundry bin whirling around to check my messages. Too excited, too hopeful. It was a message from Bella – who, mind you, only bought a cell phone last month, and who only learned how to text last week.

My poor Bells, so far behind the times.

It took me no longer than three seconds to decipher the message, although I giggled at her weak words. The message read:

Hi AliCE I beed uR holp Ward & I gut n a fit...

Translation for those who do not understand Bella-speak: "Edward and I got in a fight."

Of course I laughed at the message, but my heart sunk once Bella's horrible texting skills lost their humour. Forcing my phone back into my skin-tight pocket again, I started the laundry machine, climbed on top of the vibrating cube and gave Bella a call.

"Bells, honey, you okay? What happened?" I asked once she answered on the fifth ring. Bella whimpered on the other line, of course I expected her to be upset, but I couldn't imagine Edward doing something so terrible it would bring her to tears. The guilt would eat him alive.

She sniffled for a while longer, I examined my manicure, allowing her a moment to form her words. Wow – I should definitely redo my nails later.

"I'm so stupid Alice," Bella began, hiccupping slightly. She cleared her throat and exhaled shakily, sending a wave of static onto my line. "I never should've pushed him so hard-" Here's when I interrupted.

I stared at the wall opposite me, displeased with the boring shade of yellowing white. It bugged me when I noticed it. I mean, this room could do with another paint job, something a little livelier perhaps? A nice baby blue maybe? Or green?

"_You_ pushed _Edward_ too hard?" I laughed a little at the idea, Edward could be so stubborn sometimes. My silly big brother, with his silly rules and boundaries – sometimes I wondered if we really were related.

I could already picture Bella all curled up under her bed sheets. Probably wearing track pants. _Ripped_ track pants. I scowled and shunned the image immediately. Bella is so pretty, really, she's stunning...it's getting her to realize it that's difficult.

The phone made a scraping noise, in the distance Bella blew her nose. "No really." She cleared her throat and slurped in a deep breath. "You know how he's so...stuck on...on not _doing_ anything until marriage?"

With a sharp wince I recoiled from her statement. I heard enough of Rosalie's and Emmett's love life, I seriously couldn't handle Bella and my favourite brother doing anything...physical.

Humming my response I lifted my hand to twist a silky black lock around my finger. As distraught as I was about Bella's predicament, I was sort of happy to have something to do other than laundry. My brain needs stimulation in times like these.

"Well," Bella murmured, her voice shuddering with mortification now, not tears. "I sort of maybe crossed the line a little bit. Just a tad. He was so angry – and Emmett saw the whole thing!"

Giggling under my breath I shook my head. "My poor hormonal little Bella." I relaxed a little, nothing too bad could have happened – Edward never misses a beat when it comes to these things. At worst, he took off in his Volvo, he'd be back in a few short hours. "Don't worry, the storm cloud will soon pass. It's Edward, he'll loosen up sooner or later."

Bella sighed, the doubt still clinging to her words when she spoke. "Yeah, I know."

I smiled, flipping my hair out of my face. "Tell you what, I'll come get you – we'll go over to Rosalie's early."

Bella whimpered, the quiet snap of her nibbling her nails away sliding onto my end. "I'm not sure that's the right solution to this, Alice."

Ignoring her whining, I swore to be there within the hour and hung up. So I had a new agenda, I just needed to keep myself busy. Jasper would call – I was certain he'd call at some point. I just had to be patient and wait it out for a while.

What a nightmare...

Finishing the laundry I sprinted upstairs, touched up my makeup and threw on my Gucci coat. The rain had finally passed when I ducked into my Porsche. It had been a very depressing overcast when I woke up this afternoon, which had suited my mood perfectly. Thankfully, the black clouds had lightened to a milky grey. The day is young yet, perhaps some good is still in store for me.

Speeding – literally, I was pushing 140 – over to Bella and Edward's apartment. As I'd assumed, Edward's Volvo was nowhere in sight, leaving Bella's disgusting truck alone behind Emmett's jeep in the driveway.

The apartment building itself was rather large for Forks, and my brother's had been residing in the penthouse since they'd graduated university. If it weren't for Bella's huge yellow rain boots, and her clothes in Edward's closet and drawers, you'd never know a girl lived there.

I mean, the whole place reeked of boy. I mean, Edward was extremely meticulous, but Emmett was honestly one shot off of a caveman. The apartment itself was very classy despite the sporadic messes everywhere.

Plus the expanse of the living room was incredible, there was an amazing view of the forests behind the building. Of course, closest to the gaping windows in the vast living room, was Edward's piano. And neatly stacked, arranged alphabetically, in their own folders, was Edward's sheet music – all of it handwritten and forbidden to anyone other than Bella.

The whole apartment was open concept, with great long hallways and rooms to boot. It suited Edward and Emmett perfectly.

I knocked three times on the front door and was going for a fourth when Bella gradually drew it open. Her face was puffy with tears, her hair yanked back into a bun that sat awkwardly on top of her head. She snuffled when she saw me, looking paler than she usually did.

"So tell me, what happened?" I asked, walking in and gently removing the heeled leather boots I was wearing. Bella jumped when there was a bang in the kitchen, a deep voice swearing.

I rolled my eyes, leading myself into the kitchen where my hulking brother was picking up a butcher knife. He waved it at me. "Hey pipsqueak," Emmett said, resting the knife on the counter. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what he'd been doing with it in the first place.

Bella trudged in after me, fingering the loop on the zipper of the pea-green hoodie she wore. Emmett glanced at her sympathetically, a heavy frown pulling on the corners of his lips.

She sighed, pacing over to the microwave and taking out a mangled package. It appeared as though something had exploded in it. "Emmett you have to take the Pizza Pocket out of the plastic wrap before heating it up." She explained, trying not to smile.

Emmett looked stunned, a little too stunned. He laughed, his booming chuckle that shook the room, and took the melted plastic out of her hand. "Oh, right! I always forget that part." He admitted, turning his head a fraction to wink at me.

Oh Emmett, the extents he would take to cheer Bella up made me laugh.

I leaned on the counter, pretending to be oblivious as my brother threw the imploded bag into the garbage. Bella turned to me and rolled her eyes, but her smile flashed away instantly, leaving her face vacant and pallid.

"I just wanted to _try,_ Alice." Bella whispered, combing the loose twists of her lengthy chestnut hair back behind her ears. She didn't mind that Emmett was in the room? So it was no secret then, he must've been around for the whole battle. Poor Bella. "I knew he'd push me away, but I thought it was worth a try."

I nodded, resting my chin on my palm while I waited for her to go on. Emmett, who'd been previously downing milk out of the carton, returned the jug to its rightful place. "Don't sweat it Bells, so you rattled his chastity belt a little, gatta keep him on his toes somehow." Emmett shrugged, smiling goofily down at her, milk-moustache and all.

Bella's face erupted in every possible shade of crimson, until she remembered how to blink and look away. I snickered, narrowing my eyes deviously at my brother.

She forced an uncomfortable grin, nibbling at her bottom lip. Bella pulled herself up onto the counter edge, looking across the big kitchen at me. "I just don't know why it's so wrong. He knows that I...that I love him." A familiar look flashed across Bella's deep brown eyes, a self-conscious glimmer that made my heart sink. "Does he think I won't be-" Bella's voice slipped out of her reach as a second coat of red tainted her round cheeks. "-I won't be good."

Emmett growled, his eyebrows knitting together angrily. "_Or_ maybe he just has a small–"

"Emmett!" Bella and I cried in unison, the both of us wincing wholeheartedly. He grumbled the rest of his sentence unintelligibly, turning his back to us with his hefty arms folded across his chest in frustration.

I held my hand up when Bella was about to speak again. I needed a second to think. Who knew Edward better than I did? After all, I did spend my entire childhood mimicking his every move. And I know he loves Bella unconditionally all he needed was–

"Emmett we're going to seduce our brother!" I clapped my hands palm down on the granite counter, glaring with determination between Bella and Emmett.

My brother's entire form rippled violently with laughter, his hand in a fist against his stomach. Emmett's dimples deepened to their full, charming glory. "I know you're having trouble with the GI Joe, Alice, but that's a little bit sick don't ya think?" He meant to tease, but his words punched me straight in the throat, and there formed a jagged knot that made my eyes water heatedly.

Barely managing to swallow, I fought to breathe properly through my nose. Emmett hadn't intended to hurt me, but he realized what he'd done shortly after the tears fell out of my control.

My brother's golden eyes locking with mine with a seriousness that voiced his apology more sincerely that his words ever could.

Come on Alice, I told myself, pull yourself together! I pinched my bicep as hard as I could, focusing my attention on that pain rather than Jasper. At some point Bella had slid off the counter and had cross the room to rub my back.

"It-it's alright!" I choked, swatting away her hands. "I'm here for you – I'll be fine." Gasping in lungful after lungful of air, I blinked away the burn in my eyes.

Emmett's gigantic form, held in by the black white thermal he wore, appeared behind Bella's small frame, his heavy finger clutching my shoulder.

"Okay Alice, how're we gonna pop this cherry?"

Bella and I groaned, my hands rising up to shove him away.

I kept our plan a secret from Rosalie, she would rationalize the three of us and foil my scheme. I felt very sneaky while sitting on the sofa in Rosalie's living room.

Of course, she knew instantaneously that I was up to something, her natural intuition that had often spoiled my fun in high school. Luckily Emmett was in on it as well, so he would distract her whenever she tried to interrogate Bella or I.

My gorgeous blonde friend sat on the armchair on the other side of the coffee table. Honestly, Rosalie could pierce tank armour with a glare if she wanted to. Tank armour...thoughts of Jasper poured over me with an unrelenting force.

"Have you heard from him?" Rosalie's voice was stern, icy. I felt as if I was being reprimanded, not questioned. Her eyes narrowed, Rosalie's lips a fine shade of scarlet, pressed together as her glower intensified.

I shook my head. "No." Tilting my head I thought of the last time I was with Jasper...

"_Jazzy you look like you're going to be sick." I ran my hand through Jasper's curls, twining his shaggy hair around my small fingers. With my free left hand I reached down and rest my hand on his forehead. Thankfully he didn't have a fever. _

_Jasper exhaled dryly, his form shaking against mine. We were on the floor in my bedroom, Jackson fast asleep right in the middle of my bed. He and Jasper had been out all weekend, but ever since I called him yesterday Jasper had been acting strange. I remembered the gut feeling as soon as I thought of the incident, as if something horrible had happened to him. I just needed to know he was okay. _

_His big hand covered mine entirely when I caressed his cheek. Jasper rolled onto his back, his head resting in my lap still. "Alice, darlin', I haven't been...I have to tell you something." Even his accent shook, Jasper's face paled even more if possible. He looked like a ghost. _

_I pet his hair encouragingly, trying to smile even slightly. "I'm listening." A nervous fist grabbed at my gut suddenly, that same sickly déjà vu making my head spin. _

_Jasper stared up at me for the longest time wordlessly. I spared a thought to wonder if perhaps there was something on my face. Did I not wash all my makeup off or something? My palms dampened and I had to shake my head, feeling as though Bella had rubbed off on me a bit too much. _

_Jasper leaned into my hand, removing my palm from his cheek to press it against his lips. "Oh, God. Don't stop." He murmured, and I combed his chaotic blond locks from his eyes. Jasper closed his eyes, kissing my hand, my wrist, my fingertips. _

"_Are you sure everything's alright?" I asked quietly, confused by his sudden change of mind. Had I missed something? Was he speaking in code? "You can tell me Jazzy, anything you want. I'll listen." _

_His eyes scrunched tighter, doubling over his long eye lashes in funny looking wrinkles. "Alice...just...don't stop." He finally peeked up at me, the glisten in his blue eyes telling me something, but I wasn't quite sure what it was. _

"No." I repeated, taking in a deep and tired breath. "I'm scared Rose." I admitted at last, staring off into space as I spoke. I felt a chill snake up my back. "I feel like I'm thinking inside the box."

Rosalie laughed humourlessly, "Yes. That sounds unlike you." She stood abruptly, creeping around the table to sit close beside me.

Rosalie's hair, like a great golden curtain danced elegantly around her shoulders in her movement. She looked like a goddess drifting across the room to me. "Did he tell you, Alice?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at her, but Rosalie continued before I could respond. "Did he tell you he could hear?"

I gawked at her blankly, wondering where the floor had gone. Rosalie seemed very distant all of a sudden. I reached out for her desperately and felt her fingers lock promisingly with my own, but she was miles away.

"That he's been able to hear since your company party." Her voice did not reach my ears, I heard the silvery perfection of Rosalie's musical tone, but the rest made no sense to me at all.

"Alice? You okay?" Bella's voice now too, but where? They were so far away.

He had made it so obvious! When he was on the phone at the beach, even with all the static he was talking away. He'd been lying this whole time! No Alice, my conscious whispered numbly, he tried to tell you. You just didn't listen.

"_Do you think secrets are worth keeping? I mean, any secret, with all the repercussions in mind."_ I had said.

Jasper had shrunk back. _"It depends. It depends what the repercussions are...who you might be protecting by keeping the secret." _

"Yeah, I'm okay." I answered, startled at the sound of my own voice. It was small, harmonious, confident. Still it terrified me.

Rosalie held my hands in hers, we were in her living room still. Nothing had changed. Or had it? "I feel like I went somewhere else for a second." I sounded silly, and Rose snorted but smiled genuinely.

I looked at her carefully, gazing far into her flawless azure eyes. Rosalie stared back patiently. "Did he go back? Is he really gone?" She shook her head and a great weigh was heaved from my chest.

"No. Not yet." Rosalie gradually lifted her hand and caressed my cheek with her knuckles. Her hands were like satin pyjamas, cool and smooth. "I told you this would happen."


	21. I'll need a Saviour

I'M SORRY! Lol...It's been a while :3 and I'm apologizing in advance...I got carried away in this chapter alot.

..._a lot_.

But no worries! This story is coming to a close very soon, or I'm gunna try and stop myself as soon as possible to keep from dragging it out. I'm sure it's getting a little exasperating :/ Anyways, ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

~Selene

* * *

"Whatever you're up to Alice, I want you to stop it." Edward said sternly, glowering at me from the corner of his eyes. I smiled tauntingly but otherwise remained silent. Keeping secrets from Edward was fun.

Jackson sat in the back seat of the Volvo humming along to a song in his head, his feet swinging to the tune. His hair had gotten shaggy, I mused, sizing up the black strands that had begun to flay outwards around his face. So he really does have my hair.

"I've taken you shopping before haven't I? You have to relax Edward, I'm behaving myself, I promise." I lied right through my teeth, exaggerating the innocence of my tone just to see the frustrated lines deepen in his forehead.

Jackson stirred in the back. "Mommy, I forgot to tell you but Grandpa came to school today." He lifted his chubby hands and pushed his bangs up with both palms, forcing his slim eyebrows up to gawk at me goofily. "He talked to Mrs. Reid."

This caught my attention instantly. Daisy Reid. If there was anyone on this planet who I'd like to tear apart it would be her – I'd even burn the pieces just to be certain she was gone. I gasped at the thought, if Carlisle ever knew that had even passed my mind I can't even imagine how much trouble I'd be in.

"They talked for a really, really, _really_ long time." Jackson pressed, nodding to emphasise each 'really'. Edward and I exchanged glances before I nodded for Jackson to finish his story. "Now I'm not in Valeria's class anymore," He frowned deeply at this, the misery that flashed across the emerald shades of his eyes made my stomach lurch.

However I was still stricken by what Jackie had said. "Wait, Grandpa had you taken out of Mrs. Reid's class? Why didn't the school call me?" I demanded answers only realizing Jack was as clueless as I was when he released his bangs to shrug dramatically.

I smirked. "So long Daisy." The satisfaction of my voice made my brother scoff. We sat for a moment, Jackson telling me about the rest of the day and how he was supposed to go to Miss. Sisson's classroom from now on.

I hadn't been formally introduced to Jessica Sisson, but from what I heard from Scott she was a very good teacher. Jackson would like her, I'm sure. Though, I still planned to run a recognisance mission when I dropped him off at school tomorrow.

"That's unlike Dad to get involved." Edward murmured, combing his fingers through his disarrayed hair, "At least, not so openly. You really hate Daisy that much?"

"Yes!" Jackson and I shouted in perfect unison, startling Edward and giggling to ourselves.

We drove for a long while, enjoying the quiet and the music that whispered from the Volvo's speakers. Jackson and I attempted to play Eye Spy but Edward was driving too fast for either of us to focus on an object.

It was so green outside. Everything was just so alive and rich, I inhaled deeply and tasted the life outside. Forks was amazing, I have to admit, I could live with the rain forever as long as I was here.

"Have you...talked to _him_?" Edward asked quietly, looking at me delicately, as if he was speaking to some fragile mental patient instead of his sister. I resisted the niggling urge to punch him.

I shook my head, "No. Even if he did return my calls, I'm not sure what I would say." My voice was soft, concerned. I _sounded_ like a mental patient!

Taking a minute to glance down to the lapel of my coat, I lifted a leather gloved hand to stroke Jasper's pin with my index finger. If I couldn't have him, I could have this right? Really, I think I need some sort of proof that I hadn't dreamt Jasper Whitlock, I needed to know that he was real. That I could be Alice again.

Jackson interrupted our hushed conversation, all this time I'd thought he had fallen asleep. "Mommy, where do you think rainbows go?" I pivoted awkwardly to peer over my shoulder. He had turned all the way around and was gaping out the rear window. Through the tint I could just manage to see the fading luminosity of the rainbow he was talking about.

"I don't know honey," I sighed, wishing that, for just a minute, I could read his mind. No doubt Jackson was concocting his own destination for rainbows in the back of his mind.

Edward snorted, flashing topaz eyes over me as he shook his head. My poor big brother suffered from a lack of imagination. Edward was a realist, if something was bad he couldn't sugar coat it, if something was good he'd try to rationalize it. There were just too many thoughts swishing around in that big head of his.

Ignoring Edward I murmured hopefully, "What do you think happens to them, Jackie?" I stared out the windshield waiting for his response. Jackson buzzed his lips pensively.

The leather seats huffed as my son shuffled back to his proper sitting position. "They go back to being rain, right? Until next time? That's kind of sad." When I peered back at him again his lips were puckered out, eyebrows pressing together under his messy hair.

I nodded, twisting back to slouch in my chair. "It is sad." Edward's big hand reached out to plop on top of my head, fingers mussing my hair. A wave of high school nostalgia hit in the stomach, I could almost feel my heart sinking.

When we'd finally gotten to Port Angeles I realized I'd lost my nerve. I'd have been more useful sitting in the car watching clouds burst. I linked my arm through Edwards while we walked, Jackson sprinting ahead of us. I got this weird sense that we were in the wrong time, the three of us, like we belonged in another era.

"You're depressing me." Edward remarked, a faint smile on his lips. I rolled my eyes, his quiet chuckle irritating me a little. "Your world is a little one Alice, and you treasure the simplest of things. Any anomaly – even the slightest – worries me when it comes to you."

I grunted, leaning into the smooth grey-blue knit of Edward's overcoat. "That's funny, I'm usually the one rocking the boat." My brother nodded in agreement, letting out a breathy laugh.

Edward gazed down at me seriously, "Jasper was an anomaly." I froze at the inexpressiveness of his tone, was Edward really using his doctor voice on me? "I just want you to be happy, Alice. That's the only thing I want for you. And for Emmett."

I looked at him carefully now, searching for a sense of will deep inside myself. "Rosalie can't get pregnant." The words tumbled blithely from my mouth, and for the first time in what seemed like a long time, I was relieved.

My brother's eyebrows shot upwards, great unflattering wrinkles forming on his forehead. "That isn't something you wish on a person–"

I groaned, squeezing his bicep in both hands. "No – I mean she _can't_, Edward. It's a one in a million chance!" Edward looked down at me and frowned, pressing his lips together meditatively. I struggled with the pit that puckered my lips, wondering why he would have doubted me in the first place.

"He doesn't know does he?" Edward asked in all seriousness, his over-pensive, brooding expression returning. I shook my head and he sighed. "If she plans on marrying him she can't lie to him like this. And you're wrong to tell me-" I began to protest "-you know better! This whole Jasper jaunt must have you genuinely rattled, Alice. You're not one to tell secrets."

I made a face. It felt good to tell Edward, it felt _right_. He wouldn't tell anyone, including Bella if it meant protecting Emmett. Although...I couldn't help but feel as though I had netted Edward in the very deranged web Rosalie had knitted.

I could tell deep down behind the liquid gold of Edward's eyes there was heavy thought. Guilt wiped me clean of my voice. Because of me, Edward would be just as torn as I was, I knew how much he absolutely despised Rosalie – but Emmett wasn't just _my_ brother. Now that he was aware of the situation, poor Edward would be bound by his confidence to me, unable to help in any way he could imagine.

"That was inconsiderate." I mumbled.

Edward chuckled humourlessly, grin teasing the corners of his lips. "It was. However, I would rather know than be oblivious, but there's nothing we can do for Emmett if she doesn't tell him the truth." I nodded in agreement but resented the idea of being helpless – after all, I am Alice Cullen!

Jackson bounded back to us, hair bouncing on his face. Unlocking an arm from Edward's, I extended my hand to intertwine my fingers with Jackie's.

"Mommy, I've got a position for you." He said, very businesslike, attempting to stay focused and ignore the pet store we strode by.

Edward cocked an eyebrow at me, "Position?"

I waved the comment of. "Its _proposition_ baby, and what might it be?" I spoke while swinging mine and Jackson's hands back and forth, a subtle attempt to sway the solemnity of his expression. My sweet boy, a little too old for his age perhaps.

"We should flood our house." Jackson answered sternly, Edward breaking out in hushed laughter at my side. I pushed off the urge to giggle at his firm statement myself.

I shook my head at him, "Not with all my clothes in there." Jackson smiled and rolled his eyes at me. "Why would we flood our house?"

Jackson sucked in a deep breath, chuckling at his own brilliant idea. "Well, see, if we filled it all up with water then we'd get a bunch of rainbows!" He released my hand to fling his arms out to their full length to intensify his excitement. "And Mr. Jasper would come back – 'cause of all the colours, I think – and then you'd be happy again."

My grin faded, it felt like such a gruelling effort to smile again. It really was a fine idea, and I tried to sound just as enthusiastic as he did. "Why didn't I think of that?" I tussled Jackson's hair quickly as I spoke. "But I'm happy now, I have you – and my shoes." I winked.

Edward waited for Jackson to dart off again before he commented. "He's just like you." There was a hint of laughter to his tone and I tilted my head as I watched Jackson tour the mall.

"Except he doesn't have an older brother to ruin all his great ideas." I elbowed him in the ribs and Edward nodded.

As we walked I tried to set aside the secret I had spilt and the guilt that was building, concentrating on my initial mission: getting Edward's pants off. Oh, Bella was going to owe me _huge_ when I was through with this!

We stopped in only a few stores, I made Edward try on piles of jeans, dress pants, suits, button downs, t-shirts and thermals. I focused on the more natural colours that played on his eyes and made his hair seem more red than bronze. He played my game for the first three shops, before Edward began to get grumpy, demanding to know why he needed all these clothes in the first place.

Of course, I couldn't give him a straight answer, and by the tenth stop I decided I would have no other choice than to order more suitable attire online.

I'd bought Edward several new thermals, most of which V-necked because it made Bella hilariously giddy. Making certain I strayed away from his preferences of navy blues and greys, I also tried to bring Bella up as much as possible, enjoying the flustered expression he donned when I did so.

"She'll like the beige one," I remarked on the way home, glancing over my shoulder to where Jackson lay sprawled across the back seat, in deep hibernation. Edward sighed. "It's like the sweater you wore to the meadow – in high school."

He nodded, deliberately thinking a tad too much about driving. "I remember." Edward responded stiffly. I shooed off a smug smirk and continued to prod his nerves.

To make sure he was actually listening to me I murmured, "Personally the crimson one is my favourite. I think it'll remind Bella of Italy." Edward hissed as he sucked a breath in through his teeth. I coughed over a snicker, "And the cream thermal – the other V-neck! – you can wear that one the next time you go the meadow. She'd–"

"I'm not stupid Alice." Edward abruptly snapped, the apologetic glance he shot my way making me realize he hadn't intended to be quite so angry. "I mean, I understand what you're trying to do."

I grunted, desperately trying to lessen the tension in the Volvo. "Edward you promised you wouldn't read my mind!"

He cracked the teeniest of smiles, removing his left hand from the wheel to drag his fingers through his hair. My brother exhaled, a pained look flashing over his features, "You know how I feel about _this_. And I assume Bella told you what happened last week." His eyes flickered to assess me in the darkness of the Volvo. The dashboard lights washed sharp, pale shadows on Edward's face, making him look angular and harsh.

I played with my hair, realizing just how short it was when I reached up to grab a few locks. Twisting and winding a black hair around my index finger. He sighed, "I never meant to make her cry, Alice. That's why I left when I did-"

Interrupting momentarily, I counted the days Edward had actually been gone. Emmett and I had thought he'd only be gone for a few hours, but Edward was gone for nearly four days! It wasn't until I went to the hospital for Carlisle to check Jackson's cast, that my Father explained to me that he'd received a rather excited call from Tanya. Edward had retreated all the way to Alaska!

Then again, I suppose he did was very, very prone to overreacting when it came to Bella. He had done it before, in high school, Carlisle and Esme were so mad that he'd actually gone – Edward had been threatening to leave Forks for two full weeks when Bella first moved from Phoenix. She had thought it was because of her, then again, I guess it was, although Edward never told me what Bella had done to make him so furious.

"Yeah," I spoke up, "Tanya didn't want you to leave, hmm?" My tone was teasing but the fleeting glare Edward flashed me openly conveyed that he did not return my humour.

Tanya was really very beautiful, I'll admit it, she's no Rosalie but she's model worthy. When we lived in Alaska I used to design all sorts of dresses for her, she had the most perfect frame for classical ball gowns. To this day the only other girl I know who can compare is Bella – though she adamantly disagrees.

Edward's left hand rose to vigorously pinch the bridge of his nose. After a moment he breathed again, placing his hand back on the wheel. It wasn't so much that Edward disliked Tanya, it was how forward about her feelings for him that irritated my brother.

He shook his head, genuinely looking as if I had shoved bamboo slivers under his nails. I'd threatened to do it when we were teenagers, but his expression now actually frightened me.

"You can't tell anyone. I mean anyone, Alice. Not Emmett, not Jasper. Especially not Bella." He didn't look at me when he told me this, which worried me even more than his statement. "I left to get away from Bella, I didn't know exactly how to face her again after what I did. She cried _so much_, Alice, I was such a coward that I couldn't even apologize formally."

Edward tilted his head in thought, it was the first time all day that I actually felt him driving. Usually Edward so smooth, it felt more like floating than blazing down a highway. I knew how awful he felt, Edward loves Bella more than anything, I knew this fight would affect him greatly, but not to this extent.

"Tanya kissed me Alice, it was terrible." Edward spoke quickly now, to get the confession over with as soon as possible. However, I couldn't help but giggle at the sour look on his face, like he'd tasted something haggard.

I laughed despite myself, "She's a bad kisser?" Edward nodded and I laughed harder, holding my hands over my mouth to muffle the sound. He looked at me with a severe seriousness, but grinned otherwise.

His shoulders tensed, back ramrod straight against the leather seat, Edward's hands grasping the wheel white-knuckled. But his expression betrayed the rigid ferocity of his demeanour at the moment. "I just about ripped her apart. I had been so beside myself for what I'd said to Bella, that everything came out at Tanya." Edward winced, "I am certain that they won't be calling me back for a visit any time soon."

I shook my head at him, attempting to match his sombreness. "And you're usually so collected." Edward groaned at my remark, so I composed myself a little more, struggling to remove the smirk from my face. "It's not a sin, Edward, you won't receive any flogging. Tanya had no right to kiss you, Carlisle will understand your reaction. You could tell Bella – we both know she will forgive you. But I would not recommend it."

Edward listened, but I was not certain that he was truly _hearing_ me. I opted to not discuss this matter with him any further, which in turn meant I could not meddle in his love life as well. Perhaps I'd already done my work here, I felt as though Edward had realized something. Maybe Tanya was the kind of push he needed, which was funny in a way.

Changing the topic I started telling him about Jackson's arm, how it had started healing, Carlisle had looked it over. Anything medical intrigued Edward, he found the mechanics of such things challenging and beautiful, like me to fabric, or Emmett to...sex.

"I still find it hard to believe that Tristan would do that." I murmured, biting my lower lip and gazing at Edward through the darkness. I couldn't see his expression, but my brother's entire frame stiffened when I looked.

He exhaled tensely, "I don't." Edward admitted sharply. "And in such a public place – to a _child_." He scoffed angrily, sliding his hands over the wheel to distract himself. I nodded a fraction, wishing that I had done more that day, that I had been strong enough to stand up to Tristan.

Edward abruptly changed topics, "I don't understand it Alice, what is wrong with us? It's like a Cullen curse: You and Jasper, then Emmett and Rosalie too, now Bella and I..._and Tanya_." Edward's voice turned into something of a growl while he spoke.

For the first time I looked at our predicaments in that light. Perhaps we were cursed, doomed to an eternity of anguish. At one point I may have earnestly believed that statement but now, because of Jasper, I knew there had to be more to it than that. There must be some form of light to this. It couldn't end this way, not if I could help it.

"That isn't the way it's supposed to be, Edward." I argued, scrunching my nose disapprovingly. We didn't talk for the remainder of the ride, but I knew Edward was mulling over everything we had discussed, and would continue to do so to no end. I was curious to know if I had helped Bella's cause at all, Edward had an annoying talent of leaving me in the unknown.

At my apartment I shooed Edward off, not realizing how late it was until I looked at the clock on the stove. I carried a surprisingly grumpy Jackson upstairs, ensuring that he brushed his teeth before collapsing onto his bed with a groan.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, I brushed my fingers through his lengthy hair, combing it back from his face. Jackson unconsciously reached up to grasp my hand in his small fingers, pressing my palm to his mouth. I smiled a little, he was just so adorable.

I sat with him for so long, in the glow of his nightlight, before hunching over and kissing his forehead, managing to slip my hand out from his limp grip.

Changing out of the red dress and waistcoat I wore to the mall, I changed into a pair of track pants, digging around in my drawers for a t-shirt. It's funny how all your drawers can be completely organized – right down to underwear colour – and you still can't find what you want.

I thought about screaming, but refrained at the memory that it was almost midnight. The ringtone on my phone was enough noise, and I spun round to pluck it up off my bed. My iphone played a song Edward had written, Esme's favourite, displaying a photo of my Mother.

It was an old picture I'd downloaded from my Mac at my parent's house. With Esme in the middle, beautiful bronze hair draped over her shoulders while she wrapped her arms around a long, ink haired me, and an oversized, sixteen-year-old Emmett who had donned braces for eighteen months.

Admiring the picture for a little while, I finally answered the call. "Mom? It's late isn't it?" Esme's silvery laughter chimed on the other line.

"Alice, you know we never sleep." She teased, I could almost picture her standing outside of my Father's library. For as long as I could remember, Esme had always loved it when Carlisle read to her late at night. Then again, I guess we all did.

She cleared her throat, sending a little static over my phone. "I just wanted to let you know there's supposed to be a storm tonight. You never watch the news, so your father and I were a little concerned."

A sudden bashful wash cascaded over me, making my toes tingle a little in coyness. Biting my lip and pinching my cell between my ear and shoulder I giggled timidly. "It's _boring_," There was a slight whine in my tone and Esme chuckled. "You don't need to worry, we'll be okay. I can always drive over if it gets too bad."

"Okay sweetie, our cells are on just in case." Esme promised murmuring an _I love you_, before we exchanged goodbyes. Smiling to myself I hung up and tossed my phone onto my pillow.

My parents were awesome, but I wasn't a kid anymore, thunder and lightning didn't scare me. Glancing over my shoulder I glared at my drawers, if everything in there wasn't so pretty I swear I'd light the whole thing on fire.

So I could stubbornly sleep in a sports bra just to spite my clothes, I could totally get away with that. I thought to myself bitterly, waltzing around my bed and kicking off my slippers when something caught my eye.

I reached down to snatch up the vagrant piece of fabric, realizing it was just a part of a sleeve when I withdrew it from out and under my bed. Taking it in both hands and unfolding the clump, I held it an arms length. Definitely Calvin Klein, very refined. Narrowing my eyes suspiciously I thumbed circles into the shoulders of the large button-down blouse. Rich navy blue material, with the faintest of light blue pinstripes.

Where did I ever wear this? I tilted my head a fraction, laying the shirt on my lap and running a palm over it. Oh! I clapped my free hand over my lips – it's Jasper's. I moaned quietly in defeat, stupid cowboy was everywhere even when he wasn't really there!

Stretching my arm out I grabbed my cell phone again, grateful that I'd put Jasper in my speed-dial. It rang consistently five or six times, my stomach rising and falling as if I was on a rollercoaster.

My heart leapt at a click that cut off the ringing: _"You have reached Jasper, leave a message."_ Hastily I fingered the End button and hung up before the beep. How many messages had I left? At least...thirty? God, that's embarrassing even to think about.

Pushing my arms into the sleeves of his shirt, I buttoned it up slowly and crawled under my duvet. Maybe Edward had a point, about Jasper being an anomaly, a very irritatingly sexy anomaly. I just needed to shake him, that's all, get rid of all the Jasper in my world. That was a very painful prospect, but...

I could do it. I'm strong enough, now. So I would delete his number, purge my entire apartment, and hunt down any of his clothes. Starting tomorrow. Midnight tomorrow. I'd have to give him time to call me back – Jasper might've just lost his phone.

Pulling my pillow over my face, I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. "I don't want to be single again," I groaned into the squishy softness of the fabric pressed against my face. Ugh...why did this have to be so hard? Boyfriends came and went, I mean, I have extremely high standards – especially with Jackson in the equation. Still, was there nobody that could be _good_ for me? Someone who would actually _stay_ with me? That's not a lot to ask for if I do say so myself.

Damn it! I'm going to have to explain this to Elise and Jon too! And Kourtney...who will never ever, _ever_ let me live it down.

I tumbled into an uncomfortably shallow sleep, waking up briefly before falling asleep again. I rolled around irately before a loud noise began to ring in my ears. I tried to pinpoint it without completely waking up. It didn't sound like the alarm, or the kettle. What the hell...

Jerking upwards I glanced around the utter darkness of my bedroom, lunging out of my bed in what felt like half a second.

It was Jackson. _Screaming_.

Slamming into the wall in a frenzy, I felt for my bedroom door, ripping it open so hard it flew back to smack harshly against the door-jam. The entirety of the hallway was sheathed in blackness, the slap of my bare feet resounding in the shadow. I shoved Jackson's bedroom door open breathlessly, his cries rising in pitch.

"Baby it's me, it's okay, I'm here." I said to the void, watching the slim figure across the room launch itself at me. Jackson's bed creaked before he raced across the room to wrap his trembling arms around my legs. Reaching down I plucked him up in desperate hands and squeezed his body to mine. "The power just went out, it's alright."

Petting Jackson's hair I pawed my way around his room until my hand landed on the orange flash light on his dresser. Pressing the switch, the bedroom was dimly illuminated by a single round ray of inorganic light. The sudden brightness made my eyes water a little, I carried Jackson out into the eerie hallway and gradually down the stairs.

He whimpered against my ear, my breathing shallow due to Jackson's death grip on my throat. Despite the power outage there seemed to be a fair amount of noise in the hallway. I opened the door to find the other tenants of my hall waving their own flashlights around the shadowed corridor.

The door to the stairs swung open with a whoosh and both Jackson and I leapt at the sound. A tall silhouette ghosted through the hall, the lot of us anxiously shining our flashlights at the ominous figure.

Carlisle didn't so much as flinch at the abrupt lightness, merely squinting his eyes. "Dad? Daddy!" I gasped, sounding childish in my frantic state, Jackson and I clinging onto Carlisle's frame distraughtly.

Big arms wound around us, obstructing the ray of my flashlight. "How'd you know to come?" I asked, lifting my face from Carlisle's shoulder.

Another tenant, I knew as Mr. Morrison responded for him. "Miss Cullen the entire area has blacked out, not sure when the lines will be fixed."

Carlisle rubbed soothing circles between my shoulder blades. "I knew this would happen," He chuckled faintly near the end, my Father's voice was teasing, and I would have smacked him if I wasn't so relieved to have him here with us.

"Can we go home?" I asked hopefully, grateful when Carlisle nodded, guiding me towards the stairs. Thankfully the emergency lights had turned on, bathing the cement stairs in a creepy red wash. I felt like I was in some sort of lame horror movie.

Jackson's clutch was unrelenting, arms wound securely around my throat, and legs in a similar lock over my hips. I kissed him comfortingly, gently winding and unwinding my fingers in his hair.

Thunder roiled outside, forks of lightening crashing down violently. The sky itself seemed to be shrieking. The wind was hot outside, angry winds that were as warm as they were vigorously ferocious. Rain came down in heavy, thudding droplets that splattered weightily across the street.

Inside the safety of Carlisle's sleek black Jaguar, I leaned my cheek against the limo tint of the passenger window. Forks was completely black save for the few houses where generators had begun their labour. Flashlights shone out of darkened windows, and candles sat atop the sills, where families did not have such luxury.

"We still have power." Carlisle stated quietly, gazing around as he drove, palms silently sweeping over the smooth steering wheel in his grasp. I was thankful that we'd had our house built outside of town, away from the connected power lines. Ours was individual, even still, we were fortunate enough to have generators of our own.

I tilted my head, peeking over my shoulder a little. Jackson was wired in the backseat, fisting the flannel of his pyjama pants as he glanced restlessly out the windows.

"Edward and Bella are inside as well." Carlisle explained when I spotted Edward's Volvo in the enormous garage at the side of the house. Opening the door I scuttled around to the back to tear open Jackson's door as well. Carlisle drove on towards the garage while Jackie and I fled to the security of the indoors.

Esme greeted me with an affectionate hug, stooping down to gather Jackson tenderly in her arms. Jackson relayed the horror that he had experienced in his bedroom as my Mother took him down the hall. Only the end of the conversation did I truthfully catch.

"...because Grandma, all the bogeymen are back. Mr. Jasper scared them away – but now their back!"

Esme listened diligently, her eyes flickering over her shoulder at the mention of Jasper's name. I recoiled from her gaze, dropping my eyes downward to avoid the surfacing questions. It wasn't bogeymen Jasper frightened away...

I followed behind them, delicately removing my shoes in the foyer. Suddenly aware of the chills that wracked my frame, I realized my inappropriate pyjama attire and vowed never to return to my parent's house without actual pants on.

Padding barefoot down the hall, I entered the living room, pausing at the sound of laughter farther down the corridor. Bella sat, crimson faced in my brother's lap, Edward's hands atop hers as he pressed her fingers on the keys of his piano. I could tell the difference between Edward's instruction and Bella's timid attempts by the contrast in tunes. Bella was terrible, to say the least, but it was an incredibly adorable scene.

Edward heard me the minute I stepped into the doorway, turning a fraction to grin at me. Bella yammered in mortification, hastily climbing out of his lap and onto the piano bench as I entered.

"I can't believe Dad had to go get you." Edward laughed condescendingly, I glowered callously at the remark. His chin tilted up a fraction, Bella did not notice but I most certainly did. Edward continued, "Alice still afraid of the dark?"

I growled audibly, flipping the wet-dry knots of my hair out of my face. "Shut up, Edward." I had a distinct feeling that this was my brother's way of getting back at me for my persistence earlier today. Two could play that game. "Hey, how's Tanya, didn't she give you a rather _stimulating_ phone call the other day?"

Edward's face blanked simultaneously, the vulnerability of his expression turning to rage. His eyebrows knit together tensely, Edward opening his mouth to retort when Bella interrupted.

"Tanya?" Her concerned gulp seemed to echo in the vast room. She combed her hair back behind her ears, and I could just see Bella's face paling. The Denali family had been very welcoming of Bella into our house, but my poor Bella was instantly overwhelmed by the beauty that ran in their family.

Being who he is, Edward did not miss a beat. "My cell number and Carlisle's is very similar, she dialled mine instead. Alice makes the same mistake quite frequently herself." He smiled genuinely, promisingly brushing his fingers through her long hair. Reluctantly, Bella digested the lie and leaned into his palm.

The minute her back turned and she faced the piano once again, Edward shot me a hostile glare, appearing as if he was utterly prepared to rip me limb from limb. I stuck my tongue out stubbornly, stomping gracelessly out of the room.

Carlisle shook his head at me, hands rising to press his damp blond hair back into the refined slickness it was usually in. "You shouldn't pester him like that," My Father murmured, pacing alongside me towards the kitchen. So Carlisle was already aware of Tanya's debauchery. Still I argued my defence.

"Edward _started_ _it_!" Unfortunately, my foot stomping and the whine hanging onto my syllables did not support my debate. Carlisle laughed softly at me, caressing my cheek with his knuckles.

Upon entering the kitchen, I gazed at Jackson who sat on the countertop, sipping at the glass of milk in his good hand. Esme strode towards us, befuddlement on her face as she handed me a rectangular device.

I accepted the device, smiling meekly to myself as Esme grasped Carlisle's hands in her own. "You're soaked," She sighed in defeat, rising silken palms to stroke at my Father's face. Carlisle responded softly, but I'd already darted out of the kitchen before I could hear him.

My cell phone buzzed furiously, playing an annoying country tune that made me glower at the screen, before keening with excitement.

"Jasper!" I shouted into the teeny speaker, listening to the groan on the other end. "Oh! I'm sorry!" Despite myself I yelled again, and he gave another moan.

He sighed, and I could picture him running his big palm over his face in exasperation. "I wanted to tell you Alice – I tried so hard to tell you." His voice was ragged and frenzied, but furthermore, hopeful. "The morning we fought, the night you woke me from a nightmare, I could hear. I've been able to since the party, but it was vague, that morning it all came back – I had to hide it from you. I'm so sorry."

The ecstasy I felt in hearing his voice, that perfect little Southern lilt in his tone, the sheer _Jasper_ of his every word, nearly killed me where I stood. However, beneath that jubilance, was complete and total fury.

"I can't believe you did that!" I snapped, punching the hallway wall with my free hand and wincing at the pain that consumed my fist. "And you didn't return even one of my calls! You can't just disappear like that and not say a word – I hate you! I hate you! _I hate you_, Jasper Whitlock!"

I was rasping rigorously into the phone, rigid with outrage and pain. "And then-" I struggled to catch my breath "-and then you tell Rosalie about it – I was so scared Jasper."

He was wordless, the silence hummed onto my end of the conversation and I worried that he had hung up on me. I held my breath in an attempt to hear something, _anything_ on his side. Jasper exhaled shakily, swearing under his breath.

"You're not...you just can't...you can't leave me like that." My voice had dropped to a breathy whisper as I leaned my forehead against the hallway wall. I was aware of Bella and Edward standing by me, but waved away Bella's hands as they swooped in to soothe me. "It's not fair. I thought you were gone." I gasped finally.

Jasper cursed again, and yet again, creating a chain of vicious profanities. I was certain I heard something crash in the background and wondered what he was doing, had he broken something?

He breathed sharply, casting a constant rumble of static to wash through to my line. "I know. I know it's not." Jasper groaned, it was a muffled sound that I was sure had been obscured by his hand. "I have so much to explain Alice, and I'm running out of time. The power is out in my building, are you at home? Where are you?"


	22. Seven Days

*Yawn* Okay, so where I am it's about 11:30 in the afternoon, I have been up since yesterday! O.O But I couldn't rest until I finally finished this chapter, since I've been procrastinating forever :P but here we go, let me know what you think... I'm thinking I've got MAYBE three chapters left for this story, just because I'm getting really carried away and I don't wanna overkill it lol. oh well, here's the chapter...I'm going to bed now!

~Selene

* * *

Jackson jolted up, I narrowed my eyes at him curiously. "What's wrong buddy?" I asked, reaching out to muss his hair. He climbed off of the cream suede of the couch in my parent's living room. "Jackson?" I mumbled, glancing at Edward who had snapped to attention as well.

Jackson sprinted off and my stomach dropped clear down to my toes. Edward rose and followed him, me directly on my brother's heels. "Daddy!" Jackson all but screamed in the front hall, my step catching at the word, I froze in the hallway while Edward's strides turned primal, something that I honestly thought was a snarl ripping from his throat.

Unwillingly peeking around the hallway corner, I gasped and tore around the wall, lunging at Jasper very similar to the way Jackson had. He smelt like rain and warmth and perfection, I buried my face into the soaked through material of his white blouse. "You're just awful, this fabric is totally ruined." I grumbled, digging my hands into his tightened, dripping blond curls.

Jasper snorted over a laugh, an arm around my lower back to hold me where I clung, the other palming my hair. "I missed your voice." His mouth was right against my ear, the words a breathy murmur. My breathing became a little shallow.

"Ahhh." Carlisle sighed, "It's good to see you again, Major Whitlock." His words were sincere and polite, my father, formal as always.

I climbed down, but kept a solid grip on Jasper's forearms, for fear he'd vanish in a great pink cloud and I'd wake up from this dream. Jasper smiled down at Jackson, whose face beamed with vibrant excitement. Only now did I realize that Jackson had an equally unmoving grip on Jasper's legs, as I did on his arms.

Without much grace, the two of us moved as a single body, down the hall. Carlisle collected Jackson in a single elegant swoop, carrying him away from us with soothing words.

In the living room, Jasper was momentarily taken aback by the expanse of the area – Esme's talent is seemingly limitless, to say the least.

Jasper pretended to disregard the clumsy hands that pulled bashfully at Edward's hips, which was Bella's desperate attempt to diverge my brother's path of rage. I was grateful that she had done so, as Edward followed her out of the room without much of a second glare at Jasper.

I suppose Edward's irritation is justified. Jasper did make a mess of me during the time he sprung, none too smoothly, out of my life.

Part of me shared this resentment, Jasper had been the first person I'd been able to _fit_ into my personal chaos in such a long time. Having him disappear only added to the madness, which created a pain that I was genuinely too fragile to confront.

"I'm mad that you could do that, Jazz." I mumbled as I released Jasper's arms to press the knuckles of my right hand against my lips, perching my elbow on the edge of the couch.

Jasper grimaced, peering over at me from beneath the dampened twists of his blond hair. It suddenly felt like the first time I met him, and I focused only on the miniscule details.

The near-invisible dimple in his chin, that deepened as the firm line of his jaw clenched. Under the shadow created by his wavy hair, I could see the shimmer of rainwater still clinging to his long blond eyelashes. Jasper's pale lips, not quite full but certainly not thin, pressed together pensively. I watched the angular curve of his Adam's apple bounce when he gulped.

Butterflies swirled restlessly in my stomach, fluttering their perfect little wings against me in agonizingly pleasant nausea. I could practically feel the fine pores on my palms as my skin slicked over with a sheen of sweat.

The desire to check my makeup was somewhat overwhelming, though I knew I wore none, and had no need to look glamorous for him.

Oh Alice, I thought, you don't need to deconstruct the mechanics of his features. This is Jasper, and you missed him. I chanted the words in my head, fighting off the slight bite to my words when I spoke again.

"I really meant it when I said I hate you." I sighed, feeling the tingly warmth of my breath on the sensitive pallid skin of my hand. Though he didn't so much as flinch, I could sense Jasper slouch deeper into the flawless curves of the couch.

Jasper exhaled, laying his palms flat on his thighs and averting his gaze to the fireplace across the room. "I know you did. I could feel it. But I also know I deserve it Alice, I wanted to tell you the truth I just didn't." His eyes narrowed, teeth gritting together out of frustration. "I just _didn't_." Jasper repeated, though I could tell he was trying to say something else.

He finally moved, writhing on the cream coloured suede in a way that didn't look quite comfortable. Tilting his head back on the edge of the couch, I attempted to ignore the wet tress of blond that grazed the softness of my elbow.

Scuttling on the cushions, I encroached his tensed form, my knees pressed against his side as I sunk down onto my toes. Face lifting towards his ear out of habit, I spoke softly under my breath. "You can tell me, I'll listen."

He didn't dawdle, and there was an unintended ferocity within Jasper's voice as he responded, his blue eyes piercing the ceiling. "I kept my hearing hidden for as long as I could. I expected reprimanding, which, believe me I received." Jasper's eyes widened a little at the memory and I bit my lip apprehensively.

"I have to go back now Alice," He continued. "I went to prepare to ship out again. But I realized that I couldn't just leave you with my pin, because you're absolutely right, it is _lame_-" I giggled a little at his choice of words "-and I want to give you so much more than that. I just can't promise any of it."

Blinking back the searing hot tears that had risen in my eyes, I rest my chin gently on the wet material of his shoulder. "I'm sorry." Jasper wheezed, tilting his head to look down at me from the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry for showing up at Rosalie's engagement party. I'm sorry for filling your head with stupid country nonsense."

I laughed despite his utter seriousness, adjusting my position so that I could wrap Jasper's limp arms around myself. He growled into my hair and I could feel the life surge through the muscles of Jasper's arms.

"Could you just forget the damn pin, already?" I sighed irately under my breath, squeezing my eyes shut and pressing my lips together firmly. "When are you leaving Jasper, I need to know, _we_ need to know."

Jasper clenched his teeth. When I opened my eyes I could see the answer in the lamplight that reflected off of Jasper's blue eyes. I gulped loudly. "That soon?" I whispered, raising a hand to push back the messy knots of my black hair. He nodded and a tremor drove itself forcefully down my spine, Jasper's arms tightening around me, his fingers biting into my skin. "Why did you tell Rosalie, why couldn't you just trust us?"

Did he not realize that Jackson and I had a very small web of our own? It was such a painful, frightening process to allow Jasper – the anomaly – into that finely threaded web. I had guarded it for so long, I almost forgot what it was like to have another being in my little world. Another treasure, as Edward would have called it, because I cherished the simplest of things.

My universe consisted of Jackson and I for so long, I'd never needed anyone else. The desire for someone to hold me up when I couldn't anymore, that was certainly there. But I am a Cullen, there isn't much that can destroy us, despite how fragile we may feel.

And then there was Jasper. Jasper who made being alone all but impossible – the prospect of love, actual love, the mere idea intoxicated me. Now he's leaving, it's not his fault, but I just don't think I can stand without him anymore.

Jasper had so many scars, _so many scars_. Still, I wondered if having that nightmarish, ruffled lump of flesh beneath the skin – where no one but you could see it – was much worse. It certainly felt like it.

"She's my baby sister, Alice. As much as Rose might hate me, she would never abandon me." Jasper murmured, I could feel his lips moving against my hair and the memory of his touch nearly made me dizzy. "At first she was infuriated that I had been lying to you. Obviously she pitied me enough to keep my secret, but I needed her Alice, without you all I have left is Rosalie. It's pathetic, really."

Typical Rosalie, I thought, she always had that beautiful flaw: her loyalty, even to those she couldn't stand. As terrifying and iniquitous and even _supercilious _as Rosalie Hale could be, she clung to her humility unlike any other goddess I could imagine. She hated Jasper for reasons that still remained a mystery to me, but she despised him even more because she knew that he would do this.

I groaned into his shoulder. "I don't want you to go, Jazzy." I couldn't even begin to voice how much I couldn't bare to lose him. For someone so independent Alice, you've become quite the disaster because of this man, I thought angrily to myself. "I don't care if you go back, because I know it's what you really want, you just can't leave me like you did."

Jasper winced, "Alice you know I can't promise you that, it's unsystematic, there's so many things that could happen I–" changing my position so I sat completely in Jasper's lap I smacked my palms firmly over his mouth.

"Then _find_ a way to predict it, Major." I spoke through my teeth, scrunching my nose and glowering at him just like Jackson does when I turn off his cartoons. "Just swear that you'll come back – just like this."

Jasper eyes narrowed, his forehead beginning to furrow. At this angle, simply examining his expression, I realized that he had never looked more like Rosalie than in the instant that he gazed at me now.

"Swear it." I hissed, gradually drawing my hands away from his face.

Jasper sighed, turning his face away from mine. "I'm not going to lie to you to make you feel better." He grasped my face firmly between his palms. "Not you, Alice, I won't do it. You can't imagine what happens over there, so many people don't come home. I might not be so lucky next time."

Jerking out of his grip I pushed off of the couch and onto my feet. "That's not fair!" I shouted, stomping my foot regardless of how childish the act was. Distantly I was aware of the voices down the hall, but I couldn't stop myself. "You can't just say that!"

Leaping from the couch not so unlike I had, Jasper snatched my wrists to pin my arms to my sides. "You mean more to me than that, Alice. I am going to do everything in my power to get back to you and Jackson. You know that, I don't need to say it."

He is cruel, I realized, Jasper is cruel.

What kind of man is too much of a gentleman to lie, even if only to make you feel better?

I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. "Fine," I muttered stubbornly, twisting my hands out of his grip.

The tension in the dining area seemed to thicken tenfold once Jasper and I entered the room. Frowning I glanced to Carlisle for some tiny sliver of assistance. My father cleared his throat quietly, "Well we're glad to have you back, Jasper, please sit."

Jasper drew out my chair and I sat stiffly before he returned it to it's place and sat beside me. Esme waltzed in from the kitchen, glancing out one of the lengthy windows before she sighed. "I don't think this storm is going to let up for quite some time." My mother seemed somewhat depressed about that notion. "Bella made some cocoa."

Across the table, Bella's face shot a sure shade of scarlet, I smiled despite myself as she appeared to liquefy in her chair. "I-I just read the, um, recipe." She shook her head, pulling her hair back behind her ears. Edward grinned at her embarrassment, rolling his eyes and squeezing her trembling hand.

Jackson whooped, "Bella chocolate!" He bounced in his chair on the opposite side of poor, nervous Bella. Mentally I thanked them both, for the evident wall between us seemed to drop in a single outburst.

Exhaling slowly through my teeth I peered around the table, smiling half-heartedly at Esme when she set a steaming mug down in front of me. Jasper spoke quietly, "It seems kind of funny to be drinking hot chocolate at almost five in the morning."

I dipped my middle finger into the burning chocolate mix, stirring in slow circles and watching the marshmallows melt. Glancing up I saw Jackson absentmindedly engaged in the same ritual, extracting the digit to suckle indifferently at the dampened finger.

For the first time since I had left the apartment I regarded the time, Edward drawing back his sleeve to glance down at his watch. "I totally forgot." My brother laughed quietly, "I guess it's not that surprising."

Jasper cocked an eyebrow at him in curiosity. Bella answered for me, "The Cullens don't sleep, like at all." She shrugged impassively, raising the purple porcelain mug to her lips.

Jasper chuckled outright at this remark, "Not Alice!" His tone was teasing and Bella winked at me. I scowled drawing my finger from the warmth of my cup and sucking it behind my lips.

"Yeah, she's always slept like the dead, eh Tiny?"

Turning in my chair I peered up at Emmett, his short black hair slightly curled from the rain, his white sweater turned to a murky grey. "Sorry Dad, Rose's power went out." My brother gazed down at the blonde who emerged from the hallway to join him in the door. "And someone just can't live without her flat iron." Rosalie punched his shoulder.

Carlisle smiled, "Of course, it's no intrusion. We're not sure when the lines will be fixed, you're free to stay as long as you'd like."

Rosalie's icy eyes locked onto Jasper with a ferocity that made me shiver. "That won't be very long." Jasper did not so much as flinch, his eyes remaining on the white mug in his hands.

I regarded her blonde hair, gone to a shining golden colour in it's crisp waves. The dark gold curtain left to it's own devices clung to her cheek and throat, thrown over Rosalie's left shoulder.

No matter the weather, Rosalie appeared as though she had just emerged from the water very much like Venus had. Her sapphire eyes seemed much brighter against the pallid marble of her flesh and the brisk tresses of her wet hair. She donned a pair of crimson coloured pyjama bottoms and an equally red t-shirt, with a thorough examination I saw that this was Emmett's from university, the name of our school faded with age. The sleeves hung low on her arms, the neck looped over her right shoulder in all it's baggy galore.

At her side Emmett rolled his shoulders, glancing down the table to pout at our mother. "I see how it is, only your favourite children get cocoa." Esme shook her head at him, vanishing off in the direction of the kitchen once more while Emmett smirked.

"I'm glad that you're both alright," Carlisle commented, folding his hands under his chin and tilting his head, observing my eldest brother much like he would a patient. "I was concerned that your power lines had been damaged as well."

Emmett shrugged a single hulking shoulder. "It's no biggie, I didn't need you to pick me up or anything." Emmett responded to my Father, but his eyes were on me like two glistening gemstones. I glared, did everyone know that Carlisle had to rescue me?

I shot a glower at Edward, who returned with a wicked lopsided smirk. He held his cell phone between his index finger in thumb and waved the device at me tauntingly.

Clearly he needed to be reminded who he was dealing with.

"So Bells," I began, little Bella looked up at me, swallowing a mouthful of hot chocolate and lapping the white smear of marshmallow from her upper lip. "Did Edward tell you about our conversation today?" She shook her head, but I caught the glint of understanding shine in her eyes before she faced my brother.

Edward struggled to uphold his smile, his lips fidgeting on his pretty little face. I grinned victoriously as he attempted to shrug off my remark. "Alice and I were discussing the clothes he bought me while we were out," He explained in a half-truth. "I meant to show you, remind me when we get home."

Snaky little bugger, I thought shaking my head at Edward. He definitely knew how to dance around Bella that was for sure, although I wasn't quite certain Edward would be able to keep it up forever.

Emmett strode around the lengthy wooden table to collect the two mugs from Esme's hands, returning to the doorway to offer a cup to Rosalie. She smiled faintly, grasping the mug to hold it carefully between her hands while she leaned against the doorframe.

My eldest brother grunted, "You be in bed kiddo." Emmett spoke to Jackson who was loudly slurping at his hot chocolate. Big green eyes glanced up from behind the rim of his large cup, black eyelashes batting innocently.

"Don't worry about it Jackie," I shrugged nonchalantly. "You'll sleep all through class if I make you go to school anyways."

Esme scoffed, "Alice! You have to be more responsible." Her eyes, like liquid gold, scolded me sternly though she said no more than that. I stuck my tongue out at her, taking another sip from my mug.

"Shouldn't you be packing?" Rosalie asked, drastically changing the topic, her voice dripping with vehemence. From the corner of my eye I could see Jasper grimace slightly, sucking the corner of his mouth in. Only now did I realize just how quiet he had become this entire time, he was genuinely trying to avoid any form of confrontation with Rose.

Jasper sighed, placing his cup down on the table and knitting his fingers neatly together. He looked up and smiled serenely at my family, "Thanks for your concern Rose, but I've been ready for quite some time now."

I could see it. The lines of Jasper's mask. I could see it's numerous imperfections now, they were so clear. All this effort he put into being someone else, especially for Rosalie. No matter how beautiful that crooked cowboy smile of his was, I could see the monster crumbling behind it.

I held onto the table edge firmly, determined to hold my ground even though the entire dining room was unfurling around me. I had to come to terms with this sooner or later, I could voice it aloud, but inside I knew I would never be okay with Jasper going to war.

"Oh," Carlisle murmured, his eyes widening a fraction. "You're going back are you? When might you be leaving?" My father's interest was laced with a nervousness that made my stomach clench unrelentingly. I was acutely aware of the six pairs of eyes dashing over to where I sat and away in an instant.

Jasper's smile remained, his tone polite, his accent steady. "Saturday of next week, my flight leaves at 8:00." He didn't miss a beat, finishing with a confident nod in my father's direction. My heart seemed to disappear for a moment.

"You're leaving?" Jackson whined, marshmallow sticking to his face and a great chocolate moustache clinging to the baby hairs of his upper lip. His eyes were enormous with panic, flickering between Jasper and I as if we had just torn the ground out from beneath him. "But you just got here!"

Regardless, Jasper was quick. "I was just on vacation Jack, I have to get to work now." He laughed but I knew there was no humour to the sound and a hollow ringing filled my ears. "I'll be back before you know it."

Edward went visibly still, as if he had turned to marble in the time it took for Jasper to finish his sentence. Exchanging an uneasy gaze with my brother, I could practically feel Edward picking my brain as all my fury and agony appeared in his topaz eyes.

Combing his fingers through his bronze hair, Edward exhaled shakily. "That was a brief vacation." He muttered, his words resentful and volatile.

"I'm kind of tired." I mumbled, licking the bitter sugary taste of chocolate from my lips as I spoke. Rising from my seat I cast a weary grin around the table. "See you guys in the morning."

Rosalie stepped aside expressionlessly as I took my leave from the dining room, making for the stairs at the end of the corridor. Once I reached the steps I could hear Jasper's behind me.

I shared the second floor with Edward and Emmett, passing their doorways before reaching my bedroom door. Trudging slowly into the room, I flicked on the light and glanced around the large area. Jackson's toys were neatly gathered in a wooden bin across the room, his name eternally and flawlessly carved into the maple.

A large closet awaited my attention, along with a long dresser. I paid them no mind, crossing the hardwood to sit on the bouncy mattress of my queen bed. My lavender duvet had been replaced with a much more masculine navy blue, but the soft thickness of the sheets was a comfort nonetheless.

The door clicked shut as Jasper leaned against it. "I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't want to tell you–"

I put my hands up in surrender, "You don't have to apologize Jasper, you said you were leaving soon. It's my fault for not asking just how soon." Dropping my palms down on the blue sheets I sighed, "This is who you are, I wouldn't change that for the world."

He made a face at me, clinging to an unneeded guilt. What else was there to do? It would be impossible to be angry about this any longer, not when I only had him for a week. I gulped, feeling a thick ball beginning to form, pressing into the tender walls of my throat jaggedly.

My breaths were uneven and shallow. "Can, can we just...act like nothing is going to change? Let's just treat this week like every other week." I could tell that something awful was churning within Jasper, his blue eyes half-lidded as he slouched against the closed door. He looked as if he had absorbed my misery and duplicated it.

After I crawled into bed I felt Jasper's body beside mine, his arms wrapping around me beneath the duvet, locking me against his chest with a force I had never seen from him, Jasper's face buried in my hair. I could smell the rain on his skin, suddenly thoroughly aware of the thunder outside, of the crash of rain on the bedroom windows and roof.

When I awoke next, it was to Jackson shaking my arm. The room was dark, dimly illuminated by a nightlight plugged into the wall across the room. Fluttering my eyes drowsily open I brushed Jackson's hair, smiling sleepily. His eyes were wide although it was obvious to me that he was struggling to stay awake.

Rolling slightly I felt the bed behind me, the dip that Jasper had occupied had long since gone cold and hard. Waiting for my eyes to adjust I tried to peer around the room for him.

"Mommy!" Jackson whispered, looking down to him I encircled his little form with my arms, combing the lengthy strands of black hair out of his eyes. "I do, I do want him to be!" He was almost hysteric in his quiet ramblings.

Curiously I shook my head at him, "What? Sweetie are you okay?" I listened carefully and could still hear the occasional pang of lightening outside. "It's okay, Jackie, I promise the power won't go out again."

Jackson groaned, "No, Mom!" He struggled to lift his hands out of the sheets, grasping my face as best he could in his teeny hands. "I said I'd tell you later. So I do, I do want Mr. Jasper to be Daddy."

I clenched my teeth, remembering the night he had asked me if Jasper was supposed to replace Tristan. My lips became restless on my face, caught between smiling jubilantly and dropping into a painful frown. I have never wanted to smother myself with a pillow more so than this second.

"Good," I forced the word out of my mouth, clearing my throat slightly. "Because I do too." Removing his hands from my cheeks, Jackson grinned a toothy smile that gleamed even in the dark. He squirmed closer to bury his face in my throat, sighing contentedly.

Raising a hand from where I had been holding Jackson, I ran my palm firmly over my face, blinking groggily down at the warm smear on my hand. A single sob began at the bottom of my stomach, seeming to clutch the base of my spine as well, before dragging it's claws up my back to fill my chest with an agonizing, choking smog.

Jackson looked up at me once, but was already descending into slumber before he could ask what was wrong. However, I could feel his hand, the thick hide of his cast pressing circles into my back, attempting to comfort me very much like I did him.

A rough exhale made me jerk and I fought to sit up without disturbing Jackie. Over the sponginess of the duvet and the hump of Jackson's body, I could make out a silhouette on the floor.

Jasper's hands were tucked behind his head as he lay on his back. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me as well, given the dim lighting. All I could see was his hair, dishevelled as it was, a few curls twisted in his face.

With a quick onceover of the bed, I realized Jackson and I were maladroitly spread across the expanse of the large mattress. I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to sleep on the floor, I wanted to yell at him to get back in bed with us, but the knot in my throat refused to budge.

It was a restless and shallow sleep that greeted me next...

In the morning I had a terrible crick in my neck, having to roll my shoulders and crack an awkward bone to make it tolerable. Jackson snored quietly, laying on his belly at my side, an arm swung over the edge of the bed.

Twirling my fingers in his hair, he sighed and smiled unconsciously. Sitting up slowly, I glanced over at the window, through the curtains I could see the cloudy grey of the outdoors. Graciously, the rain had stopped.

Gradually shuffling out from under the sheets, I strode around the bed to where Jasper lay on his side, an arm draped over his face. I began to kneel but the instant my knees touched the hardwood, Jasper had snapped into wakefulness, whirling onto his back to seize my shoulders.

His eyes were almost the size of tea saucers for a moment, his fingers pressed deep into my skin. Jasper was frozen that way for a while, half in shock and half in recognition – utterly incapable of moving. Stretching my hand out, I carefully flipped a curl off of his forehead.

"It's just me, Jazz, you're okay." My voice was soothing though stricken dry and brittle with sleep. He blinked at me cautiously before coming to, Jasper's fingers releasing my arms one by one as he sat up to face me. With a small grin I touched his cheek, running my fingertip over the prominent curve of his cheekbone.

Jasper shook his head sharply, as if to remove spools of spider web from his hair. "Pardon me Alice, I didn't mean to lunge at you like that." He sat quietly, gently palming my arms where he had been so firmly clutching.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked, fingering the shiny lump of a scar just under his chin. He nodded slowly, expressionlessly. I felt his weight as he descended into my touch. Jasper closed his eyes. "Do you ever get the feeling that you've known someone a lot longer than you really have?"

The corner of his mouth twitched, an eyelid rising to reveal a shimmering sapphire iris. "Mostly when I'm with you." His smile lashed out of his composure, spreading shamelessly across his face. "It feels like forever and forever and forever. I'm not quite sure what I'd be without you Alice."

Removing my hand I scuttled over into his lap, squeezing Jasper close. "I really don't want you to go." I inhaled gradually, his scent was intoxicating to the very core of the word.

Come to think of it, everything about Jasper invited me in, there was nothing about him that I was not attracted to. Almost as if he was the sexiest pair of Manolo Blahniks I could imagine, dangling right in my face but I would never be allowed to have them.

Edward had once jokingly told me he was merely an addict and Bella was his heroin, of course Carlisle and Esme did not approve of this analogy. However, I believe I'm starting to fully understand that idea.

Jasper played with my hair. "I know." He said simply, his voice remaining shaken and drowsy. "We should do something today." Jasper sighed and though I nodded in agreement his statement did not completely receive my recognition. "All of us," He continued, voice getting tighter. "Including Rosalie."

I frowned leaning away from him to stare into his now opened eyes. He looked incredibly determined, perhaps he was pulling my leg? I smiled and shook my head, but Jasper's expression hardened. "Yes, Alice. I need to make peace with her. She hates me because I abandoned her before, I mustn't do it again."

Making a face all the awful possibilities flashed before me. No matter how resolute Jasper was, he was extremely underestimating Rosalie's tenacity. My stomach dropped when he began to stand, arms hooked under my legs to take me with him.

"We should ask her now, before she's completely coherent." Jasper grinned at me, his tone humorous. He made it sound as if we were going into the blackened cave of a dragon, then again...

My ankles linked behind his back, we left the room. My parents' house was so large, it didn't take supersonic hearing to tell when people where moving about. Usually the manor was otherwise silent save for the sounds of the critters outdoors.

Today I could hear my mother's laughter downstairs, Esme had a distinct harmonious giggle that reminded me instantaneously of my childhood. Between her bouts of laughter, I could also make out Carlisle's voice though I had to listen carefully, my father was always so quiet.

With my navigation, Jasper reached Emmett's bedroom door and I knocked for Jasper. After a minute, Rosalie opened the door, her eyes piercing and irate the minute she laid eyes on us. In the room I could hear Emmett's off key butchery of a song from the bathroom shower.

"What do you want?" Rosalie hissed, her gaze ripping straight through my form to pinpoint Jasper. Her teeth were clenched, jaw working tirelessly as her shining blue eyes narrowed.

She donned a pair of distressed dark wash jeans and a fitting grey tank top that hugged her frame in all the right places, draping blonde hair messily pulled back into a ponytail. Even in casual wear without makeup, Rosalie looked spectacular.

"We're going to go out today, want to come?" I asked hopefully despite the churning worry within my gut. I bit my lip as I peered up from under my bangs. Rosalie scowled down at me.

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and lifting her chin. "Half the power in Forks is out Alice, in case you forgot, where would we go?" The arrogant look on her face, the way her slender eyebrows lifted at me in question, made me certain that she had backed me firmly into a corner.

I gripped Jasper's shoulders tensely. "Um, we could...well we could go look at scrap cars you could fix." I cast a luminous grin, eyes wide and excited. Rosalie snorted over her laughter and shook her head. "Never mind," I continued. "How 'bout we go to the field, we haven't played baseball in forever. The storm probably isn't gone yet, perfect weather for some hard hits."

Rosalie opened her mouth once more to viciously decline when Emmett's brassy tenor interrupted her. "Hell yeah!" My glistening brother emerged from the bathroom, towel tied around his waist, cropped black hair attempting to form loose ringlets.

Rosalie growled under her breath, sending a single seething gaze over her shoulder. Emmett rolled his eyes, "Babe, c'mon, it's only a game." He looked beyond her at Jasper and I and winked. "She'll play – one way or the other."

Seconds later it seemed Rosalie was slamming the bedroom door so hard it blew my hair back. Inside I could hear Emmett chuckling while she shouted at him. Jasper's arms held me closer.

"See?" He smiled eagerly, "It'll work out." I nodded reluctantly, allowing him to carry on down the hall with me in his arms. Edward's bedroom door was wide open, though when we peeked inside neither he nor Bella were inside.

His room was neat as always, the gigantic bed already made and creaseless. Clair de Lune hummed smoothly from the expensive CD player, but no one was to be seen.

Moving on through the house, Jasper set me on my own feet at the bottom of the stairs. Treading into the living room I found Carlisle seated in front of the flat screen, evidently not paying attention to the news channel as he delicately held the withering pages of a book in his lap. A wash of murky light spilled in from outside, pouring over Carlisle and the couch, my father's brilliant blond hair appearing to sparkle.

"Morning Dad. We're going to play baseball, want to come?" I murmured as to not disturb him. Carlisle did not raise his head, but I did catch the glimmer of his golden eyes as he peeked up to address me with a single nod.

Jasper shadowed me silently into the kitchen next, where Esme was humming to herself, floating about the expanse of the room. "Morning!" She sang, swinging a curtain of bronze hair from her face as she set a bouquet of colourful flowers into a vase.

"Ma'am." Jasper smiled, leaning against the counter as he watched her toy with the assortment of flowers in her grasp. I grinned wondering just how early Carlisle had risen to collect that very bouquet.

Esme sighed, resting the vase on the counter in a place where the grey light from outside would catch the crystal. Millions of radiant reflections danced on the countertop, my mother looking quite pleased with herself.

"So you're going to play today, hmm?" Esme asked, gliding over to the refrigerator to extract a tall jug of orange juice. "Alice has quite the pitching arm Jasper, I would be careful."

He looked at me curiously, my face feeling hot with a blush as I shrugged off the remark. "I wasn't on a team or anything like that." I spoke modestly, watching Esme as she shook her head at me.

"Oh, I think I can handle that." Jasper smirked, a fierce challenge arising in his blue gaze that took my breath away. I rolled my eyes nonchalantly, shivering slightly where I stood.

"Need an umpire?" Esme asked and I nodded eagerly, it had been so long since we had everyone here to play. It was much more fun with the whole family, when it was just Edward and I we got so competitive.

Jasper whistled quietly, "Your entire family plays baseball, hmm?" He seemed rather impressed with this and I grinned. Carlisle had suggested we engage in some sort of sport when we were teens, and when Esme taught us how to play we all just took to the game with ease.

I snickered to myself, "Everybody except for Bella." Esme gave me a reprimanding gaze but I continued to laugh. "She mostly just watches from a distance." As I thought of the last time Edward tried to get Bella to play I couldn't help myself but giggle harder. Bella was almost afraid of the ball as she was of the baseball _bat_.

Then I hummed to myself, looking to Esme thoughtfully. "Speaking of which, where are Edward and Bella?"

Esme smiled sweetly, her lips parting to show the pearly white of her perfect teeth. She shrugged simply, "Edward said something about going tree climbing. I'm sure they'll be back before breakfast." That idea alone made me nervous, Bella was safe whenever she was with Edward, but the notion of little Bells trying to get up a tree...yikes!

Jasper insisted upon helping Esme in the kitchen and I began setting the table in the dining room, peering up when I heard a dramatic yawn from the doorway. Jackson stood within the frame, rubbing his right eye with the back of his hand while he blinked sleep from the other.

"Hi mom," He grumbled, gazing around in a stupor before stumbling towards the stable to slouch down into a chair. I was a little surprised he was awake at all, we were up so late after all, and usually Jackson slept to no end on school days.

"Hey sweetie, breakfast is almost ready, you can go back to bed if you want I'll come get you when it's done." I suggested, wandering around the table to rub his back. Jackson lay his head down on the table, messy black hair splayed on the glossy wood.

He shook his head slowly, closing his eyes. "I'm okay, just not awake yet. I'm having an in my body expertise."

I laughed outright at this, having to quiet my voice to not further awaken him. "You mean an _out of body experience_?" I said this against my palm in order to hide my smirk.

Jackson's eyelids fluttered open long enough for him to throw a theatrical roll of his eyes, he groaned softly. "That's what I said." Even his voice sounded tired.

Leaning over the back of his chair I kissed his ear, "We're going to play baseball in the field today, are you going to come with us?" Jackson sighed and nodded, folding his hands under his head to rest his temple on his cast.

As I returned to the kitchen I had to grin to myself a little. Maybe Jasper was right, maybe this could all work out. Somehow.


	23. My First Kiss

Lightning cracked down the grey swirl in the distance. Thunder roiled and roared in response, churning the blackened puffs of the clouds even more. I grinned at the sky – just as I'd predicted. Perfect weather.

"Hurry up and throw the ball, damn it!" Emmett shouted from outfield, I turned on my heel and stuck my tongue out at him.

I faced Rosalie again, she held the bat confidently, her blue eyes piercing in the shade of the baseball hat she wore. She nodded once at me and I leaned back and launched the ball in my palm at her. In a single fluent swing a deafening crack erupted in the air, Rosalie abandoning the bat to race towards first base.

Peering over my shoulder I watched as Edward vanished into the forest bordering the edge of the field at a sprint. As Rosalie was beginning to slide in for a homerun I ducked as the baseball sailed over my head and straight into Esme's awaiting hand.

"Edward you almost took my head off!" I screamed back at my brother as he emerged from the trees, Edward was innocent as ever, shrugging his shoulders and smirking crookedly.

When I returned to the game, Rosalie was scowling at Esme who chuckled and murmured, "You're out, honey." Rose folded her arms crossly over her breasts, standing behind Esme to wait for her next turn.

Carlisle took up the bat with a soft smile, standing quietly as he clutched the bat in both hands, winking at me before he took his stance. I pitched again, listening to the sound of the ball whirling through the air a second time before my father began running for the bases.

Jackson laughed as Bella pulled the hood of her enormous yellow rain coat over her head. Long chestnut locks escaped the hideous hood, whirling around her worried face. She understood why we needed to play during storms – it sounded like an earthquake when we hit the ball – but she still resented it.

When at last Jasper waltzed to the plate I paused to wonder if I should have asked him if he even liked baseball to begin with. And then I saw what he was doing with the bat. Conversing with my mother as he was, Jasper swung the wooden baseball bat around his fingers as if it was a baton. My eyes widened a little and I was dumbfounded by this talent I had not been aware he had.

"Don't go easy on 'em, Alice!" I heard Emmett warn from outfield, his voice carried on the murky, humid breeze that swore of an oncoming storm. Without a word of notice I adjusted my hat, reeled my arm back and gave Jasper the hardest throw I could muster.

That man must have some unnatural network of superhero senses, because Jasper whirled on the plate, swinging with one hand to launch the white ball straight into the trees behind my brothers. This time Edward and Emmett exchanged glances before both jerking into a sprint. I don't know why Emmett even tried, Edward was way faster than he was.

I gawked at Jasper who blew me a kiss before abandoning the baseball bat and taking his team home. Jackson, who currently stood beside Bella was howling riotously by the time Jasper was skidding on his side to the same plate I could have sworn he just left.

Rosalie's face reddened right to the tips of her ears, fists clenched at her sides I was concerned that she had finally hit her limit. Edward and Emmett whisked out from the tree line, Edward laughing breathlessly as our elder brother attempted to keep up with him. Edward stopped at my side seemingly right at point-blank, his feet decidedly done running, he came to a complete halt with no trouble.

However, I was not watching behind me, and Emmett ploughed straight into my teensy body. The two of us crumbled onto the grass in a painful array of limbs. Edward's chuckling became an outright outburst of guffaws, my usually refined brother doubling over in his laughter.

Gasping for breath I managed to squeeze in a gulp of air from beneath the enormous boulder that was Emmett. "Stop moving!" He hissed, trying to unlock the awkward latch that was our legs.

I squeaked, clawing at the grass and at his shoulder as I tried to breathe. "Em!" I coughed, "You're crushing me!" Wriggling my other arm free I pushed away from him, feeling much more like a contortionist than my body could manage. This was _so_ going to crease my baseball breeches! If I couldn't get these grass stains out I was going to _murder_ Emmett!

Edward's laughter proved to be more than a little infectious, and Emmett giggled goofily as he tried to figure out this odd pretzel he had put us in. "Just move your – no! Not that way! _Alice, stop moving_!" He struggled to speak around rasps for breaths and snickers.

It felt as though my diaphragm would never return to it's natural position in my body. Emmett felt like an elephant on steroids – all hefty muscle and clumsiness.

At long last – at _long last_! We were separated and I could breathe properly, sitting on my knees as I bushed the grime off of my uniform. Emmett remained sprawled on the grass, great big palms on his abdomen as he wheezed around his chuckles.

"You...should've...your face...Alice, that was priceless!" Edward was speaking, but I had only ever seen him laugh so hard once before. I had to agree, when we got him going he did look quite pretty with that big crooked smirk of his. Wherever she was, I was certain Bella was awestruck.

I grasped the familiar calloused hand that presented itself in my face. Jasper hoisted me gently to my feet, his hands combing through my hair, his fingers sweeping smudges of dirt off my cheeks. I felt like a child who had been out playing in the mud.

Hoping he wouldn't realize I was blushing I pushed his hands away. "I didn't know you could play baseball." I changed the subject, only partially aware when Emmett knocked Edward's feet out from under him, which made Jasper's lips twist up into that odd, slanted grin of his.

Jasper was indifferent and sighed, "I haven't in ages, but I taught Rosalie when we were little, so I guess some of the habits stuck." An arm swinging around my shoulders he lead me back to the rest of my family.

Esme giggled at the sight of my _mature_ and _distinguished_ elder brothers writhing on the grass. Oh, I was the really weird one out of the three of us, right? Carlisle had collected the bat, slung the abused wooden object over his shoulders and held onto each end with either hand, shaking his head at me.

"You okay Alice?" Rosalie asked, glancing at Emmett and dramatically rolling her eyes. "I'm surprised he didn't break anything." Rose muttered and exhaled sharply although her eyes never once even grazed Jasper.

Jackson bounded towards us, dragging Bella along behind him, his small fingers linked firmly with hers. He looked a little gauche with that big cast on his arm flailing around as it was. Of course, it wasn't like the too-large baseball cap that he wore backwards helped him much. What his shaggy black hair flipped up in all directions underneath the hat, which appeared to dance on his head. He looked much more like me with his inky mop disarrayed like that.

"Catching flies again, Bella?" I teased, lifting a gloved hand to press my index finger into the pad of her chin. Bella's mouth snapped shut with the little pressure I put on her jaw and she scowled at me.

Her face betrayed her however, already beginning to heat up to an adorable crimson. Bella tucked her hair back behind her ears with her free hand, and shrugged her shoulder in an attempt to be passive. "Is that it, you're done playing now?" Bella asked, and I snorted and nodded.

"You bet – I'm not getting clobbered again!" I stated and dramatically rubbed my chest, Bella rolled her eyes at my exaggeration. "No more harm should befall a figure like mine!"

Jackson reluctantly released Bella's hand to gather mine in his small fingers. He tilted his hat back and out of his eyes. Now that I looked I could see the initials E.M.C and realized why Jackson's hat refused to sit nicely: _Edward Mason Cullen_, of course.

"Are we going home soon?" Jackie questioned, holding firmly to my hands. Jasper excused himself to help my Father collect all the bases around the vast field. We spaced out the plates pretty far apart from one another, it kind of added to the game's difficulty. That, and it was much harder for us to cheat when they were scattered like that. Esme was convinced we were a bunch of lying heathens when it came to competitive family events.

Jackson looked up at me hopefully, a piercing conviction in his emerald eyes. I winced and gasped for breath, hurriedly turning my head and pretending to cough. Bella looked at me suspiciously and I waved her off innocently. "Just took a sharp breath," I lied right through my teeth.

As my fake coughing subsided, Jackson continued to blink up at me. A wide, glittering smirk began to part his lips. "I'll race you to the tree line." He said, already pivoting on his heels as if to begin a head start.

I reached down and plucked him off his feet before he could get ahead of me. Jackson squirmed and howled, I glanced at Bella who scurried out of the way and stammered a quick, "G-g-go!"

Placing Jackson onto his bottom I sprinted off, hearing his roars of protest behind me before his lumbering strides hurried to catch up. I eyed the parting in the trees that began the trail back to our house.

Jackson's pants came up on my left and I risked a peek over my shoulder to where he was bounding up to my side. A small pink appendage dangled out the side of his mouth, his eyes narrowed in a determined lock on our decided finish line.

"C'mon slowpoke!" I teased, watching his eyes light up a little underneath the mess of his hair. Slowing down a fair bit I allowed him to sneak in front of me, grinning at the low snicker he coughed out.

Jackson dove for the tree line, kicking his feet and laughing triumphantly. When he rolled over to point tauntingly at me I grimaced at the enormous grass stain that raked clear down the front of his chest. "I win! I win!" He chanted, "I beat Mommy!"

Coming to a halt I loomed over him and shook my head. "I totally let you," My tone was almost as exaggerated as my following eyelash flutter. Jackson scoffed at me.

His round face was flushed pink, his lips parted as he sucked in hasty breaths. Hot beads of glimmering sweat were scattered across his nose and cheeks, black hair clinging desperately to his forehead. "You _did_ _not_!" Jackie retorted breathlessly, waving his pointed finger at me while he lay on his side.

Hands on my knees I continued to taunt him until a palm landed firmly on my bottom and shoved me forward. Staggering around Jackson's body, I whirled on my toes to where Jasper stood, two slender white base markers under his left arm. He drew his right arm back, snickering along with Jackson, the two looking absolutely sinister where they were.

Edward, carrying a flustered Bella on his back, followed up behind him. When I peered around behind them, I could see Esme and Carlisle farther back walking alongside Emmett and Rosalie.

Jasper gathered Jackson up in one arm and swung him, kicking and giggling over his shoulder. He grinned at me, a hip swinging out to nudge me over. I took the bases out from under Jasper's arm, holding them tightly against my chest as I leaned over, biting his bicep through the material of his uniform.

It was a decent walking distance from our field to the house. We followed the gigantic, muddy trails left by Emmett's jeep. I didn't mind the walk, the scenery was incredible. Carlisle had told us that he had merely stumbled upon the place on a stroll, but I was ever so glad that he did.

The trail we paced along went directly around a natural waterfall. The water fell through the craggy openings of a huge rock wall. Corroded stone, stained black with the constant flow, was covered in squishy moss and home to all sorts of birds. Not to mention the water was clear all the way down to the gravelly stream it turned into. The scent reminded me of the lake, somehow dry although crisp and refreshing.

Emmett used to throw me into the stream, where it was just deep enough to land flat on your bottom and ruin a very, _very_ expensive pair of jeans.

My brother lead the way, Bella's anxious voice and Edward's quiet laughter guiding us through the trees. Jackson went on and on about how we were in dire need of another camping trip, he paused when a crash of thunder erupted overhead.

The rain that had graciously held off for our game, began to pour down in a gush. Bella squealed up ahead and I shook my head, a little water never hurt anyone.

The sudden wash was somewhat refreshing after a game, I couldn't say I minded very much. Although the footing was not fantastic and my cleats were covered in cakes of mud and grass clumps by the time we reach our backyard. I whimpered a little, drawing Jaspers attention. "My shoes!" I uttered in defeat, my polished white sneakers had completely lost their colour, and my equally clean white laces had become a grungy brown tinge that made me sigh.

Jackson bent his body enough that he could look at Jasper from where he was cast over his shoulder. The two shared a quick grunt before shaking their heads, dampened locks clinging to their faces.

"I'm sure you'll live, sweet heart." Carlisle said, a hand soothingly squeezing my shoulder as he gave me an amused grin. His blonde hair appeared paper white in the rain, with the blackened clouds and downpour my father reminded me of a black-and-white film. Carlisle's snow-like hair and ivory skin, now all he needed was one of those adorable paper boy hats and we're set!

Esme came sauntering up beside him, my mother braiding her hair over her shoulder, the bronze colour had quickly faded to a near-black brown. She flashed one of her gorgeous smiles and clapped her hands together. "I'm in the mood for tea!" She announced, peering up at my Carlisle who nodded in agreement and lead her towards the back entrance.

"Where are Emmett and Rose?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder, surely they wouldn't have fallen so far behind? They were right next to my parents the last time I checked.

Carlisle turned his head a mere fraction, allowing me to view only the right half of his face, a golden-brown eye fixated on me. "They'll be along shortly." Was his response, my father swinging the baseball bat in his hand as he spoke.

I rolled my eyes, carrying the bases inside while Jackson and Jasper took up the rear. The glass door behind them slid shut, sealing us inside the warmth of the house again. My clothes immediately felt clingy and heavy as my body adapted to the change of atmosphere.

Jasper set Jackson on his feet, he stretched and yawned before us and rubbed at his eyes. "I hope it doesn't rain all day." Jackson muttered, peering out the glass panel of the door. "That'd really suck."

I chuckled, "Rain's good." Peeling the soaked material of his cap off of his head, I continued with a wink. "It keeps things green."

Jackson was blank faced for a moment before he remembered our conversation about Kraft Dinner and nodded. "I'm gonna have a bath." He decided, already toeing off his cleats and unbuttoning his baseball uniform.

As Jackie waddled away I could hear him muttering under his breath, "Rain and no Kraft Dinner and I'll be green like the Hulk!" His voice was breathy and he had already skittered far enough down the hall that he wouldn't have heard me laughing.

"That's not such a bad idea," I sighed once Jasper and I were alone in the foyer, his blue eyes widening in confusion. I had to fight my urge to lean in closer and repeat myself. He can hear, I reminded myself, he's all better. I frowned sharply, kneeling to undo my laces.

Jasper had already removed his shoes and was quietly carrying them over to the enormous racks of outdoor shoes across the hall. We had an intricate frame of metal for all of us – Edward, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme and I – although the majority of the shoes belonged to both myself and my mother.

My curly-haired companion shook his head, however. "No," Jasper muttered, "I have a better idea." I cocked an eyebrow at him and he couldn't help but smirk that impeccable slanted smile. How much trouble would I get in, I wondered, if I just pounced on him right here and now?

Jasper continued, taking my shoes from my hand to place them on the correct frame. His palm rested on the base of my back as he guided me toward the kitchen where the scent of honey and lemon was wafting out. "And along the line, it will require you to get dirty, so I wouldn't recommend wearing any of your favourite garments."

I paused before the kitchen doorway, twirling around on my toes and swatting away his hand. Seemingly on instinct, Jasper didn't flinch, but rather inclined towards me, his hands flat on either wall.

"So I can't even take a shower?" I whined, Jasper pursed his lips and mumbled a "no, you can't", while I scowled scathingly. Fists firmly on my hips I stamped my foot. "Where exactly are you taking me, Jasper Whitlock? If you so much as breathe the word barn I swear I'll chain myself to a tree in the backyard!"

Jasper chuckled as he slouched, his face hanging a taunting inch above mine, never allowing me to get within reach of his lips. "It's not a barn. And you _would not. _You'd ruin your hair." He winked at me as if he had figured out every angle I could possibly come up with. Though he was right, that strategic Southern monster, I would never chain myself to anything outside.

As I was about to protest, Jasper kissed my face to keep me quiet. It would be an understatement if I said it didn't work. In fact I almost entirely forgot about what we were talking about. Fingers tangling in his already mangled assortment of blond twists, I yanked him closer.

"I love you," I promised, batting my eyelashes when he pulled away. Jasper rolled his eyes dramatically, reminding me thoroughly of Rosalie when he did so.

His right hand parted with the wall so his long index finger could jab me in the forehead. I winced as he pushed me away with just one finger. "I'm not falling for that, Alice." He frowned, though the shades of his eyes flickered with excitement.

I moaned, stomping my feet angrily and wailing my fists on his chest. "That's not fair! I hate surprises!" But Jasper was not going to crack so easily, his head shaking, his scowl unmoving.

He hauled me into the kitchen where I was less likely to make a scene – smart boy – and sat me at the table firmly. Esme smiled softly when Jasper walked around to assist her with a gigantic antique tray, he carefully set the shiny metal dish down, the elaborate tea set atop it shuddering faintly.

The tea set was all a pretty colour of lavender, the cups in the forms of various flowers. The tea pot was large and very round, the polished china glimmered under the spew of light that struggled in from the stormy outdoors. Beside the gathering of floral cups sat a plate of tea biscuits. I almost cried, Esme always makes the best treats!

Although when I went to snag one, an enormous hand swept the entire dish right off the tray. "_Emmett_!" Esme hissed, my dishevelled and utterly soaked elder brother smirked at me as he shoved all but the crystal plate into his mouth.

Gnashing my teeth together I scraped out of my chair and lunged.

I was certain I saw Jasper's eyes widen, but it was merely a glimpse from the corner of my eye. Carlisle sighed from the head of the table, but I knew he hadn't so much as lifted his gaze from the cup in his hand.

"Give that back!" My voice resounded in the expanse of the kitchen. Legs wound around Emmett's waist, I put him in a headlock from behind. "That was so rude-" I cranked my arm "-and in front of a _guest_!"

Upon inspection, I was ashamed that someone related to me would ruin such a good uniform! I mean – I custom designed our family baseball uniforms, I could understand Jackson being careless, but he was a child! I put so much effort and artistic talent into those shirts, and Emmett was sopping wet and covered in dirt and grass and _tree bark_!

What exactly where he and Rosalie doing out there?

Emmett buried his chin in my forearm, grinding his jaw to upset my grip. "Doesn't count – he's family!" Freeing one hand, Emmett gripped my arm in his fist, beginning to pry away my clutch.

Having pressed himself flush against the wall, Jasper watched animatedly as my Mother began to fret, hands flailing about Emmett's wobbling body.

She sounded hysteric, as if I could genuinely harm Emmett. "Mary-Alice Cullen!" She shouted, staggering forward to jump back again as Emmett tried to wriggle me off. For the briefest of moments I wondered if this was similar to being a leech. Tightening my grasp on his throat, Emmett reeled backwards, just barely managing to avoid bumping the table.

"If you're going to roughhouse, go outside." Carlisle murmured, taking a quiet sip from the teacup in his palm.

Biting my nails into Emmett's skin I heard him growl out a swear word before releasing my arm altogether. "No scratching!" He chided, reversing into the side wall to squash me between his body and the drywall.

"I swear," Began a familiar voice. Rosalie strode into the kitchen, wringing out the golden lengths of her hair and narrowing her blue eyes fiercely. "You two are so immature." She sighed, lightly trooping past Esme, to where Emmett was grinding me into the wall.

In the amount of time it took for Rosalie to reach out and snatch his collar, Emmett had already stepped away from the wall and released me. All but landing on my butt, I caught myself and laughed. "What was that Em? That sounded like your whip being cracked." I punched his shoulder smugly.

Emmett, quick as a whistle, glanced down at me and smirked. "Oh, you think so?" He played dumb, peering at Rose. "Usually I'm tied up at that point, no?" I covered my ears, effectively tuning out whatever my brother was about to add onto that statement.

Esme's voice seemed dull and hollow, unlike the silken melody I had known all my life, even as she reprimanded Emmett the noise sounded strange to me. Nonetheless I refused to remove my hands, watching hesitantly while Rosalie's slender hand darted out to pinch Emmett's nose harshly.

I couldn't be certain, but judging the brutality of Rosalie's icy gaze, I assumed I had heard her correctly when she growled, "_Shut. Up. Emmett_."

Suddenly it seemed a collection of large, frigid and damp fingers were effortlessly peeling my palms away from my ears. Edward's chin easily fell atop my head and I gnashed my teeth together as he held my hands in contempt.

"Are we playing Confessions? Alice you're the best at this game – remember when you told us about Jackson?" If I was stronger than Edward I most likely would have hit him. Then again, perhaps not, after all I couldn't risk ruining my manicure.

For the first time since he had cautioned Emmett and I, Carlisle made a noise. Of course, he wasn't necessarily speaking, still the delicate purr of his laughter was enough to silence all of our bickering.

I turned my head – turning Edward's as well, given our position – and stared at our Father. Carlisle was almost blushing he was laughing so hard. To say I have never seen this before may sound quite odd, but the idea of the docile and refined Doctor Carlisle Cullen chuckling himself to tears, did not exactly fall into any category I was familiar with.

The flawlessness of the moment caused a montage of models to flash before my eyes. I have seen billions of incredible, breathtaking men and women laugh before, but I can wholeheartedly say that no one I have ever fitted or primped or perfected has ever looked so beautiful.

Damp white hair clung to Carlisle's face as he held a hand over his mouth, ivory cheeks appearing a flattering rose hue as his golden eyes narrowed and glazed over. Looking at the blond mane atop my father's head, already attempting to dry and spiral out of it's natural decorum, made me realize Edward's hair style was not entirely original.

"St-stop it." He stammered, blinking fiercely before shaking his head and pressing his hair back. "Go...get cleaned up." His eyes fixated directly on Emmett who was holding his nose and grinning at Rosalie. "_And_ help your Mother clean up the mess you've made of her crystal."

Emmett groaned beginning to protest, evidently trying to peg me as the aggressor in this situation. Edward grabbed my wrist as he had so many times before in out childhood, the two of us slithering out of the kitchen before Carlisle and Esme equalized the punishment.

Well up the stairs I paused to peek over the railing where Jasper was squinting suspiciously up the hardwood stairs at me. His long stride consumed the stairway with an easy series of steps, taking two at a time.

Jackson was singing in my bathroom down the hall, the splashing of water seeming to resound behind the closed door. If he stayed in there much longer he would turn into a prune!

"And I thought Jack was bad," Jasper muttered, whistling softly as he looked me up and down. "You're a miscreant Alice, and to think I had assumed you were the small-and-harmless type." He shook his head a fraction, disturbing the dampened tresses that swivelled about his forehead.

I sighed melodramatically and shrugged. "What can I say – I'm a jack of all trades." Jasper snorted while I pivoted on my heels to flick through my closet. It was strange, going from my enormous closet at the apartment, to this tiny antique armoire. Sure it was a stunning piece of furniture, but it would barely hold my shoes if I brought the rest of them here.

Picking out an old sweater, a Gucci zip-up from high school, and a pair of distressed jeans I speedily began to change. Having unbuttoned and discarded my baseball shirt, I hoisted the black under armour I donned beneath it over my head.

Before I could react, however, the removal of the second-skin material had come to a halt – unintentionally ensnaring my elbows above my head. I didn't have to look up to see that Jasper was holding my arms in such a way I wouldn't have been able to wriggle out of the position.

The neck of the tight black shirt remained over the bridge of my nose, ensuring that all I could see was the black netting of under armour and Jasper's silhouette.

No matter how expectant of the kiss I was, I proceeded to jump up when his mouth sought mine. I couldn't even begin to count how many times I had kissed Jasper before, regardless of the short time I had known him, I couldn't say I minded being completely entangled with him. In spite of this, he was almost timid, like he had never so much as touched me before.

Forever seemed to creep by as I waited for the sensation to fade. The cascade of butterflies that stirred wantonly within my stomach, or the tingle the soft flesh of his mouth left on my skin – it all felt new. My fingers balled into taught fists as I waded through the sea of unfamiliar waves he crashed against me.

Jasper's fingers, as rough and callused as they are, couldn't have held me any less than they already were. Everything about this kiss was different, as if the compassion that usually filled Jasper's affections was restrained completely.

I couldn't get the notion out of my head – as silly as it was – but this felt as if it was my first kiss.

He pulled away gradually, bit by bit like he was plucking away every ounce that was him, that was _Jasper _from my entire body. When I was completely certain he had drawn away, I fought with my under armour until it landed in a slick heap on the floor.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, my tone was almost angry. Jasper sat on the side of the bed, his hands folded neatly in his lap, his back ramrod straight. I half expected him to salute me. "Why did you have to kiss me like that?"

My words hung desperately in the air, a mere breath of what I really wanted to say: _"Like it wasn't even you who kissed me." _

Jasper was practically nonchalant about the entire epic, his eyes passive and unemotional, his expression guarded and hard. "Get dressed, I still have your surprise." He droned, his accent sounding mechanical and curt.

To my own astonishment, I obliged him. As did Jackson. And before even I could comprehend it, Jasper was ushering us into his Mercedes. The rain was nothing like the previous storm that had destroyed the power. For that I was thankful, however the downpour was most definitely depressing.

My mind relentlessly flickered to the first moment Jasper had ever kissed me. Almost as the memory flashed across my mind a searing heat slipped over my lips.

Instantaneously I remembered the spark that was Jasper's kiss, I could practically feel the blue-grey sweater he had worn that night in my fist. Squeezing my eyes shut I pressed my lips sternly together, trying to memorize that feeling. Like that thought alone would wash away whatever it was he had done to me at home.

Of one thing I knew I was absolutely certain. I didn't want him to touch me like that _ever_ again.

I watched the road bend before us, listened to the purr of the engine, I smiled unconsciously as Jasper and Jackson played Eye Spy. Even still I felt lost to myself, upset and confused as the reality of this situation came pounding in with the subtly of a freight train.

None of this was ever real, I thought to myself, hoping that somewhere something deep down inside me would rise up to rival that notion. But it was a fact. Jasper in all his spectacular Southern cowboy glory, with his delicious drawl and promising embrace, really was too damn good to be true. Jackson and I had been lucky to have him, he was leaving now, and everything was going to return to the way it was.

Perhaps I should have swallowed my hopes and listened – really listened to Rosalie. I should never have found Jasper, he was just too much to give up. If ever anything were to happen to him when he went back to that god awful place, I would die of the agony – there were no questions to be asked.

I reached across the center console and retrieved his right hand from his lap, drawing in over and into mine. His fingers, long and coarse linked with mine as if it was something we had done for centuries. But his hands were cold and unfeeling, like marble.

Irately I brought out united hands to my face, tilting my head to get a good angle on Jasper's index finger and bit down on it as hard as I could.

The brief groan that erupted in the back of his throat seemed to force some colour to his face, as if bringing life back to a corpse. His oceanic eyes widened beneath the wet locks of his hair, his head whirling in my direction as his left hand fisted the stirring wheel.

A panicked jolt coursed down Jasper's arm. Upon releasing his finger I murmured, "There you are." Pulling the digit behind my lips again I tried to soothe the wound I'd just made. Jasper winced and jerked in his seat, although the way he clenched his teeth together swore to me it was not out of pain.

How are we going to keep up this facade if I'm the only one willing to play? I pondered to myself. I wanted this last week with him to be the same as any other week, I wanted to forget that Saturday could be the last time I would ever see him, I wanted to pretend that all of this was indeed _real_.

"Hey!" Jackson broke my concentration, though Jasper didn't seem to mind. Jasper's body had been wound like a coil about to burst, and the instant Jackie's cry filled the vehicle I saw the rigidity of his frame slacken.

Allowing him to remove his finger from my mouth and hand, Jasper balled his right hand into a fist, clutching onto the stirring wheel vigorously.

I glanced out the windshield as Jackson stretched his arm excitedly and pointed at a small, yet incredibly adorable building. My eyes skimmed the sign once, twice before I snarled and glared at Jasper.

"You'd better not be doing what I think you're doing!" I warned, watching that sexy slanted smirk dominate Jasper's lips.


	24. One Last Surprise

Yay! Chapter 24! XD ummm... okay so IT CHANGES TO JASPER'S POV HALF WAY THROUGH! That's kinda important lol, I don't usually like doing that (No I HATE doing that) but I seriously couldn't resist putting a little more Jazzy in there ;) I love the guy so much!

~Selene

* * *

After nearly four hours of whimpering and complaining – on my part – Pico was the name Jackson and I had _finally_ agreed on. I wanted to name him Emilio, after the beloved man who designed one of my stunning evening dresses. Emilio Pucci of course – which Jackson and Jasper had both growled their displeasure. So Pico, I suppose, was close enough to Pucci as Jackie would allow me.

Pico, the name of the chubby mound of short legs, slick brown and black fur and long floppy ears, which currently slept on a red doggie-bed in Jackie's bedroom.

Of course, I had immediately objected to any kind of animal – my shoes and clothes were at stake! – but once I laid eyes on the litter of Dachshund puppies I was sold. Those ridiculously adorable chocolate brown eyes broke my heart upon first glance.

Regardless, even if Pico is just a puppy he's part of the Alice Cullen household now. A title that demanded only the finest degree of fashion sense: a gorgeous silver plated Coach collar around his neck. Originally my bracelet, I'd owned it for ages and only worn it once. It was just too big for my wrist and I'm not a huge fan of gaudy bracelets. Though I did put up quite the fight, I'll say that much! I mean, it was a gift from my Italian ex, ex, ex, ex, ex boyfriend.

That said I just couldn't give it up, no matter what.

In the end, it was Jackson's enormous emerald eyes and pouty lower lip puckered out at me that forced me to give in. Although, Jasper's simultaneous infuriation at the mention of another man presenting me with any form of gift, did fuel my decision as well.

I had only just waltzed in from putting both Pico and Jackson to bed when I noticed Jasper's sombre expression. He refused to talk about what happened at my parent's house today, he acted as if he had no idea what he had done. Though, of course Jasper of all people would know what I had felt right to the last detail.

He had been himself after we had taken Pico back to Esme and Carlisle's to show him off to everyone. Rosalie was instantly infatuated with the puppy, however she pretended to be utterly uninterested in front of all of us. Meanwhile Edward and I realized the entire scenario had almost thrust Bella into a panic attack. Then again, Bella wasn't too keen on pets beyond goldfish.

Now that the lighting was back on, at least on my floor, it was safe for Jack and I to return to our apartment. Surprisingly, I had missed my humble abode more than I thought I would.

"Alice," Jasper drawled, making my toes curl insistently. I paused before him, my hands in his hair while he sat on the bed. "I need you to do something for me." He whispered carefully, as if his tone alone could shatter me to pieces.

I scoffed, "Anything." As if he even had to ask, he knew I would do whatever he wanted of me.

Jasper sucked in a deep breath and rose to his feet, gathering my wrists in either hand and holding them tightly in his grasp. He looked down at me sternly, the glower he cast making my skin crawl with unsightly goose bumps. My heart leapt into my throat as he loomed ominously over me.

"Hit me." He stated so blatantly I laughed outright. There was no way he was being serious after all! I couldn't ever hurt Jasper, I could hardly imagine anything like that in the first place. "I'm serious," His grip strengthened. "Hit me."

I shook my head sharply, squirming under the intensity of his eyes. "Jazzy," I mumbled, twisting my arms to try and writhe away from him. Jasper was adamant in his hold, though his expression softened if only a little. "I don't want to – why would you ask me to do that?" Looking at him austerely I gave my head another firm shake.

"I just need to make sure." His sentence seemed unfinished to my ears, as though I was missing imperative bits of a gigantic puzzle. I couldn't pretend not to be flustered, whatever metamorphosis he had decided to undergo today made me nauseous.

Jasper sighed after a painful yawn of silence filled the void between our bodies. "That you'll be alright." Another incomplete statement, was he speaking in riddles? What was I missing here? "Hit me," The lilt of his words had gradually lost it's ferociousness, his gaze becoming less and less sharp.

So the moment his fingers released me, I did. My small knuckles came in contact with nothing but the whiz of thin air, however. Jasper had moved only a fraction, though enough that my arms would never be long enough to reach him.

"You can do better." He murmured, lips fidgeting restlessly to stifle a grin. I wanted more than anything to see him smile like he had earlier today, before all of the befuddlement.

Biting my lip I swung my other arm, gasping when he caught my fist. Effortlessly encasing my fingers in his palm, Jasper lifted his left hand and stabbed his index finger into my forehead.

Stumbling backward I leapt in my skin at abrupt contact with the wall. His finger slipped from my forehead and onto the flat surface above my head. It wasn't hard for Jasper to spread the fingers of my fist, and the way he did it made me feel as though he was parting the bud of a flower.

I snapped my free hand out and against his chest when he lurched down to reach for me. "You're being strange." Jasper's mouth hung a mere inch from my own, it was hard to focus when I could feel every hitch of his breaths. "Leaving while you're still here defeats the purpose of trying to make this work, doesn't it?"

Jasper frowned, my eyes fixing on the scars on his face, I rarely noticed them now, the lumpy slashes that scattered on his features were so infrequent I hardly noticed anymore. They only marred the left side, as if he had been attempting to turn away from the blast.

I gulped at the thought, how could someone who had suffered so much, long so strongly to return. It was like Jasper went through withdrawal, the way he yearned to go back to a place that would certainly only cause him to hurt more.

He was an addict, I bet if I even looked close enough I'd really begin to see how he listened a little too carefully, touched a bit too thoroughly. I bet, if I really put my all into each and every one of his little details, I'd see how much it caused him pain to smile.

I moved my palm up the soft fabric of his pale grey sweater, a voice in the back of my head warned me not to crease the material. Jasper sighed when I took the angular curve of his chin in my fingers, coarse stubble scraping roughly on my hand as I drew him closer.

I put every bit of frustration I'd felt today into this kiss, squeezing my eyes shut and twining my fingers into his hair. Jasper groaned and I could just hear the faint whisper of his hand against the wall balling into a fist. Running the tip of my tongue along the curve of his bottom lip, I tried to bring him as close to me as our height difference would allow.

I can't say I resisted much when he released my hand and lowered his arm to scoop me off my feet. Aided by the wall and my legs – which were knotted around his lips habitually – I wormed my fingers under his shirt.

If I had it my way for all eternity, I'd never let Jasper leave my bedroom. I'd keep him locked away in here with me forever.

"Fight your way out of this one." I taunted, already beginning to melt against him as I jerked the beautiful fabric of his sweater over his head. This material, rich as it was, most definitely Lacoste. Trying my best to smother inner designer just this once, I let him win me over, surrendering my every nerve ending to Jasper...

* * *

JASPER'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

"Alice," I hissed through my teeth, watching as her expression evolved into one of utter jubilance. Her pristinely manicured nails clinging to the corner of my sweater desperately, her eyes glossed over adoringly. "_Not now_." I practically growled the words and quickly amended my aggressive statement with an apology.

She blinked, her right hand leaving my belt buckle so that she could press her index finger firmly to my lips. "Shh! I'm thinking." In her eyes I could see her imagination stirring hastily to life, the golden shades flashing excitedly.

I grunted, "Nope." Holding her was easy, and carrying her slender bodice towards the enormous mass of her bed was just as simple. Alice gasped abruptly, her mind refocusing as she sprung her arms out to block my advance. Just as she began to tell me what dress pants would look fantastic with my sweater I silenced her greedily.

The last thing in the world I ever wanted to feel was what had radiated from her today. I had tried so hard to force myself to let go, all at once, so that I could survive the rest of the week and hopefully give her something of a proper farewell on Saturday. I had focused all of my energy on pushing her away, that the moment we made contact, she would feel nothing – she couldn't be harmed.

But the exact opposite had occurred.

She had felt so _lost_, I couldn't bare the thought that I'd made her feel that way. I had abandoned her just like _he_ had. And she had caught me, of course she had, perhaps I had wanted her to.

If what she needed was for me to be here, for me to recreate the sense of our normalcy that had been obscured, then that's what I would do.

No matter the consequences. I'll endure the torment – anything to protect her.

And now, after I had made my mind up on this, she wanted to cast it aside to get herself all in a tizzy over my _sweater_? I should've seen that coming.

"Dress me up later," I argued, smiling at the pout she presented as I yanked the grey shirt out of her grasp to launch it across the room. Her arms shot straight up above her head so I could remove the baby blue tank top she had changed into. No clothes were to be ripped tonight.

Alice's slim fingers fluttered around my shoulders before finally settling, like delicate butterflies and light as feathers. Her nose wrinkled suddenly, eyes like pure liquid gold seeking mine. "Still want me to hit you?" She asked, her mouth becoming stern, her tone somewhat angered.

_I'm always going to want you to hit me_, I thought without voicing the words to her. _I need to know you're safe without me, for the sake of my sanity, Alice. I just need to know it's okay if I can't protect you – if only for a while – even if it's completely a lie. _

Lowering my face to hers, I pressed my nose against her furrowed forehead and sighed. "I love you." I said instead, effortlessly derailing her thought processes with those three words. Alice's nails, though not extraordinarily long, bit into my skin. Considering the number of things I have ever had cut me, those felt spectacularly delicious.

An aura of confidence exuded from her very pores, an impish smirk finding its way across her glamorous mouth. "I know you do." She said arrogantly, sinking her fantastic claws in a little deeper as she drew me towards her. "Wherever you go Jazzy, you do."

It's an art really, Alice herself is a masterpiece. In every way, she's a canvas painted by her every minuscule expression, and an instrument from head to toe, with every curve of her body.

"I love you," I kept repeating myself, until the sound of my own brassy voice, the twang of my own accent, began to make me irritated. She listened, which was all I desired her to do, when that horrible gorge began to flicker in the distance. I felt it within her, far before I realized I was taking her there.

Though, I didn't need my peculiar talent to sense the spring that constricted so tautly inside her. Still, I couldn't let her go no matter how much I wanted to, up to the moment it became absolute that I would die if I couldn't release her.

And then I did it again, and again, and again – until I could barely coherently remember how to move my limbs.

Regardless of how quickly Alice had fallen asleep, which was the very moment I tucked her under the covers, my mind refused to rest.

I wanted nothing more than to sleep, but it was one of _those_ nights again. Utterly exhausted, more from what I had felt than the exertion itself, and positive my shoulders presently depicted a cat's scratching post, I sat back against the head board and watched the night pass.

Come on Jasper, I thought irately, you can barely keep your eyes open. _Sleep_ for Christ's sake! Yet no matter how hard I attempted to convince myself, my body rigidified and rebelled.

All the while Alice was curled tightly in a ball, clutching the rosy pink of her duvet under her chin, she slept like the dead flush against my side. Nothing could possibly disturb her, I found myself wishing that for just one evening I would be able to rest as comfortably as she did.

The room filled with morning light, a greyish glow that spewed in from outside. The soft, girly colours of Alice's bedroom came to life even under the bleary wash, and distantly I heard the scuttle of nails on hardwood.

Observing Alice closely, I extracted myself from the bed, pulling on my pair of discarded boxers and some dark green track pants Alice had stolen from my apartment. I whistled lowly as I exited the room, grinning to myself as Pico came crashing down the hallway. Tumbling over his own paws in his excitement, the puppy fell into my grasp without a hint of grace.

"We're going to have to do something about this." I sighed, tapping the thick silver plated bangle around Pico's neck. The Dachshund tilted it's head at me, squirming in my hands and nipping at my prodding fingers.

Holding the dog under my arm, I laughed quietly. For someone who was determined to keep from getting a pet, Alice had warmed up to Pico so quickly she had hardly put him down at all yesterday.

In the kitchen, I lowered Pico to the floor, finding the bright red dishes Jackson had picked out in one of the cabinets. The bowls were practically the same size as the dog, but Jackson's mind – not so unlike his mother's – could not be changed. After pouring a mound of kibble into one of the bowls, I leaned back against the table and watched Pico eat.

This would be good for Alice. She didn't have to admit it...but I knew she was lonely when Jackson wasn't around. I couldn't blame her, having constructed her universe around one being for so long, it was a wonder she was able to allow _me_ into it.

Brewing coffee as the sun rose, Pico yipped at the metallic creak of weight on the winding stairs. I pivoted in time to see Jackson stride into the kitchen doorway, one hand scrubbing his eyes as he yawned.

I grinned at his choice of pyjamas: a complete fleece Spider-Man costume. Pulling his hands back he blinked groggily and smiled. "Hi." His voice was brittle and tired still, his fingers dragging through the messy ink black tresses matted atop his head. His eyes widened and illuminate with animation as he kneeled to pat the puppy bouncing clumsily at his feet. "Mornin' Pico." He added with a toothy smile.

The clock on the wall read 5:30am, once I realized this I was a little puzzled that Jackson was awake at all. School didn't start until 9:00, how on earth was he even functioning this early on a school day, usually he was out until just after eight.

Holding a mug of steaming black in my hand, I shook my head at him. "Go back to bed, you'll fall asleep in class." Jackson looked up at me through his mop of hair and shook his head, his hand rising to rest on his cheek

"I can't sleep, my mouth hurts." He explained, though his serious expression melted as Pico leapt up to lap relentlessly at his face. Jackson continued to hold his cheek with his right hand, squeezing Pico to his chest with fractured arm. "Maybe I slept funny?" He thought aloud, tilting his head a fraction. "Mommy says that when her neck hurts."

I frowned, his mouth hurt? Setting my coffee down and pacing towards where he sat on the hardwood I lowered myself onto one knee. "Let me see," Jackson held his head out to me without question, his eyes remaining glued to Pico who was jubilantly trying to climb up his chest.

Turning his head from side to side, I couldn't see bruises or lacerations of any sort. There was no kind of wound on the exterior, at least none that made themselves noticeable. He looked up at me curiously, crossing his eyes goofily when I made eye contact. "Hold still." I muttered, trying not to smile at the faces he was making.

Jackson's eyes bulged momentarily, "I can touch my tongue to my nose!" He gasped, pink tongue darting out to give me the demonstration. I would have laughed, had my eyes not zeroed in on their target.

"Your tooth is lose." I said, removing my hand from his jaw to muss his hair. He looked sincerely baffled, sucking his tongue back behind his lips to crease his nose and press his lips into a firm line.

He shook his head sharply, causing his hair to fall in his eyes. "Nu-uh," Jackson argued and lifted his chin defiantly. "Teeth don't come out – _everyone_ knows _that_." He rolled his big green eyes at me.

"They do," I sighed crossing my hands over my knee. "Haven't any of your friends lost their teeth yet?" Jackson lifted his good hand and rubbed his chin pensively, his eyes narrowing when his palm pressured the baby tooth at the side of his mouth.

He licked his cracked lips and murmured, "Well, you see, Gavin did-" he scowled when I smirked "-but that's 'cause we were playing soccer and he fell." I coughed over a chuckle at this explanation and tried to hide my grin by raising my hand to my face.

"Well your mom must've told you about the tooth fairy at least." When I said this Jackson's face lit up with a million different questions, his eyebrows beginning to push together.

He scoffed at me, "No! Only _girls_ like fairies – they're not real!" Over-exaggerating my reaction I gawked at him and quickly covered his mouth with my hand.

"Shh!" I whispered in a sharp hiss, "Every time someone says they don't believe in fairies, one falls down-"

"And _dies_?" Jackson howled into my palm, his emerald eyes riddled with hysteria. I might have snickered at his panic, had I not been so determined to make him believe in what I was telling him.

Nodding solemnly I exhaled heavily. "The tooth fairy collects teeth you see," I elaborated despite his suddenly disgusted expression. "When you put them under your pillow at night, she collects them and replaces the tooth with change." When I'd finished a thick wave of excitement struck me, Jackson's eyes brightening the way Alice's did whenever she opened her closet.

At the mention of some kind of reward, Jackson's scepticism was quickly replaced with exuberance. In spite of how early it was, he practically squirmed with interest. "When will it come out?" He demanded, grasping at Pico in his enthusiasm, the puppy's tongue desperately lapping at the wiggling fingers in response. "Can I pull it out?"

I winced as I rose to my feet. Distantly reminded of my adolescence, I remembered a time I told Rosalie to tie a string from her tooth to a handle and slam the door. My mother had grounded me for a solid two months without probation for that stunt. Not that I ever said it wasn't worth it – Rose was so naive when she was little.

"Let it happen on it's own." I murmured, pacing back to my spot against the counter. Once again wrapping my grotesquely calloused hands around the mug, I stared at the coffee that swirled before me. The scent was as bitter and harsh as the taste, and the steam warmed my face wonderfully.

Jesus Jasper, I thought to myself, for a guy who can't sleep you're damn wore-out. Grinning stupidly now, I caught myself using that awful cliché slang Rosalie had teased me about until I'd taught myself to stop.

Behind me I could hear Jackson extract one of the chairs at the table before climbing onto it. "Jasper?" He started, I wasn't sure when he had stopped calling me _Mr_. Jasper but I certainly didn't mind it. I hummed in response, taking a pull at my coffee. "You're leaving again?"

Nodding without looking at him I sighed and tilted my head. Sometimes I sincerely want to stay here – hell, I'd let Alice lock me in that ridiculously large closet of hers forever. There was so much to let go of now, it would have been better if I'd stayed away from Alice, no matter how much it pained either of us.

Jackson buzzed his lips and barked at Pico when the puppy yipped at him. He exhaled heavily, the chair squeaking as he squirmed. "Keep a secret?" His tone had lowered to almost a whisper, partially out of habit and out of the need to hear him, I turned and shuffled closer to hear him.

"Of course." I reached out my left hand and twisted my fingers in his hair the way I'd seen Alice at least a thousand times. Jackson's fingers were buried in his mouth, wiggling the resilient baby tooth adamantly refusing to depart from his mouth just yet.

"I think," He slurped a little around his words and I slouched to get closer to him. "I think," He repeated and removed the dampened digits from his lips. "Mommy might die." I almost choked on my breaths as he said this, my fingers clutching my coffee mug to refrain from dropping it entirely.

Noticing my rigidity and shock, Jack tried again, "Mommy might die if you go away. I know it's silly but...she's a really sad little lady and I think she's a lot more sore than he tells everybody." Tears had sprung to his wide round eyes, Jackson's lips pressing together as his cheeks reddened. I could tell he was holding his breath to keep from bursting out in tears.

I shook my head and swallowed a groan. You made your bed, a sadistic voice from the back of my mind snarled, now lie in it!

Breathing out sharply I gently tousled his black mop of hair. "You're a smart kid Jackie." I whispered, attempting to force a smile. "Don't worry-" removing my palm from his hair I wiped away the tears in his eyes "-I'll be back before you know it. I know it's only been a short while but, I love you, and I love your Mom. Just because I'm going away doesn't mean that'll change."

He frowned, eyebrows fully pressing together so that funny unbecoming wrinkles formed between them. Jackson pursed his lips, pushing my hand away and clicking his stubby nails on his cast. "My Dad says that." His fingers dropped down heavy now, thumping on the blue mesh.

He really was like Alice – just like her in fact. They're both so small, only one emotion can fill them up at a time, and when it does, it's with a true zeal. He looked at me sternly now, the way he had months ago, like I really was a monster coming in to steal everything he held sacred. Emerald eyes narrowed firmly, his mouth becoming a flat angry line surrounded by baby fat beneath which I could see how he clenched his jaw.

So much rage for such a small person, it was a wonder he didn't spontaneously combust on the spot. It almost made me sick, the pulsating fury that nearly filled the entire expanse of the kitchen. All of it directed straight at me.

"If you hurt my Mommy, Jasper." He said through his little gnashing teeth, a fire building in every shade of green withheld in his round eyes. "I'll..." He paused, eyes flickering as he tried to think of something genuinely atrocious to say. "I'll put worms in your hair." He decided, fighting a little to regain that pure hatred he had mustered moments ago.

And, all at once, we were enemies again.

A bundle of wrath which barely stood tall enough to reach my hip, Jackson was threatening me, in his own very intimidating way. If he'd been my height, perhaps sixteen, I may have expected something of a punch to follow that warning. However, he was teensy still and small enough that I could hold him back with my index finger.

Regardless of that, I knew instantaneously that the ice I stood on was wearing very thin very fast.

As I analysed him again, I could already see the factory closing up. Just like Alice, he could be outraged for only so long before he puttered himself out.

I'm not mature enough to hold back on a kid, though.

"That won't happen." I saved the softness, the genially of my words. In the strange relationship Jackie and I have, which constantly seems to waver between Father-and-Son to Predator-and-Prey, I need to make it clear exactly who is dominant. "I'm not going to let you go Jack, I swear."

He scoffed at me, scooting off the chair and stepping around me. I watched him without moving, listening to the slap of his bare feet on the metal stairs and Pico's skittering after him.

I stood straight, sipping at my coffee again.

Three hours later, I was in the same position, wondering if I should pour myself another mug when Jackson re-entered the room. He stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment and I grinned without looking at him.

We were like a newlywed couple, I mused as my smile widened. Inevitably committed to one another no matter how we chose to wage war. It would be impossible now for him to carry on without me – or me without him.

And the ground on which we fought insistently was Alice. She was worth it though, she'd always be worth the battle.

"Um," He muttered, I could hear him making a bowl of cereal across the kitchen, Pico eagerly bounding after him where he went. "Uh," He grunted unsure of how to mend what he'd broken.

"I'll drive you." I sighed, turning on my heels and tilting my head at him. Jackson looked at me over the edge of the island, his green eyes full of both resentment and thankfulness.

I rest my mug on the counter as he quickly rounded the island and took up his chair again. Going upstairs I crept down the hall, my feet seemed weighty though they made no sound, I needed to practice some more.

Pushing open Alice's bedroom door, I swallowed a laugh when I noticed her new choice of position. Completely stashed away under the covers, I hardly could see Alice's figure at all beneath the thickness of her pink duvet.

Dressing speedily, I yanked a black sweater over my head and traded my sweats for last night's jeans. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I climbed back onto the unnecessarily generous mattress that was engulfing my girlfriend.

It was a breeze straddling Alice's form beneath the sheets, curled tightly in a ball the way she was. I peeled back the blankets and peeked down at the knot she had bunched herself in. Somewhere within the gap I'd been downstairs she had messily pulled on a long white t-shirt.

Pressing the tip of my nose into the soft skin of her neck, I smirked when she squealed in her sleep. Rolling onto her back she planted her palm flat on my face and shoved me away. "Cold!" Alice whined curling up tighter and digging deeper into the bed.

Crawling around her and contorting my form, I cursed my genetics for the height I'd been damned with. Even in a dead slumber, Alice moaned when I kissed her, golden eyes fluttering open once before she smiled drowsily. Her hands reached up to touch my face and she scowled faintly. "You're scruffy again." Her tired, dry voice peeped.

Her face, obscured by snarls of jet black ebony hair, was warm and puffy from dormancy. Alice's glamorously small lips remained red and bruised from last night, she yawned loudly before turning away from me. "Five more minutes." Stretching her arm out she gathered up the duvet and wrenched it back over her body.

It was quiet outside, perhaps a bit too quiet. The calm before the storm, the clouds pressed against one another, rebelliously blocking out the sun with their great curls of grey. The air was humid, I almost regretted wearing the leather jacket I'd donned on my way out of the apartment.

Jackson wordlessly ducked into the back seat of the Mercedes, pushing his face against the glass and staring out the window as I drove. It was like he hadn't been surrounded by trees for his entire life. I laughed at his awestruck expression, relaxing in the car as we went along.

When we got to the school however, Jackson gave a gruff, exasperated groan and began to unbuckle himself from the car. "What?" I asked, put on edge by his sudden lack of enthusiasm. He pointed out the windshield sourly, his finger indicating an elderly woman ushering children inside.

She was tall, not nearly my height, but fairly sturdy. Her silver hair brought back into an intricate series of brown clips and pins. She wore a long purple rain coat, underneath I could see the businesslike attire of a teacher, complete with delicate high heels that were not sensible for the outdoors.

"Jackie." I said lowly, "Don't be like that, she's your teacher and a lady for that matter. Be respectful of your elders." He looked at me as if I'd told him to lay out in the middle of the parking lot.

Whatever tizzy we'd had this morning was shunned almost immediately when I came around to his side of the car to open the door. Jackson hopped out, his backpack over his shoulder, his expression thoughtful.

Looking up at me hesitantly, he reached out his hand and wiggled his fingers. I stared at the small digits before I realized what was expected of me. When I gazed into his eyes I became certain that this was a completely new scenario for the both of us.

Suddenly nervous, I took his hand in mine.

Jackson held onto my hand with all his strength, biting his lip when I closed the car door and lead him toward the school walk way. He peered around and I followed his glance, abruptly becoming aware of all the eyes located on the pair of us.

"Hello Mrs. Reid." Jackson grumbled, looking at the pavement when he spoke. The elderly woman raked her eyes over him and I felt the overpowering urge to shield him from her.

She looked at me sharply, I received the same rough onceover as Jackson did and somewhat felt violated by this woman.

She's a lady Jasper, a voice that sounded strongly like my Mother's resounded in the back of my mind. I smiled widely and extended my right hand. "Jasper Whitlock ma'am," I introduced myself quietly.

Mrs. Reid glowered down at my hand, the calluses – and worst of all my scars – that she could see seemed to repulse her so much so she didn't dare touch me. I struggled to breathe, after being with Alice, I'd come to forget how disgusting I really appear.

Literally like something that was chewed up and spat back out again. Welcome to reality, Jasper, how could you have overlooked this? Ashamed of myself, I retracted my hand and shoved it into the pocket of my jeans.

"Oh," Mrs. Reid snapped, her voice shrill and jagged. "I _know_ who you are – you're that barbarian who struck Tristan Michael's. In front of children no less!"

I winced. This is your portion, I thought to myself, this is your lot. You're used to people being revolted by you.

"_You're meant to break things Jasper, strategically rip them apart and crush them to pieces, not fix them. That's why I love you." _Maria's voice lingered in my ear, I could practically feel the heat of her breath on the side of my face, the rough sweep of her long fingers running through my hair. The memory alone made me sick to my stomach.

"I humbly apologize for my behaviour that day, I was not myself." I murmured said honestly, my voice betrayed me however, and my words sounded forced and false. Alice was petrified and Jackson was hurt, even before I got out of the car that day I knew there were no other options.

Fully aware of what I am capable of, punching Tristan seemed to be the kindest thing I could have done. Seek and destroy – that is my nature.

Mrs. Reid's face twisted at me, a look of repugnance coming over her features. She scoffed and folded her arms over her chest. "You should be ashamed of yourself!" She carried on as if what I had said had simply not reached her ears. "Of course, I should expect as much, a _delinquent_ like Alice Cullen would be attracted to _your_ sort."

My thoughts, the courtesy that was so instilled in me, my very sanity seemed to snap a fair bit at that remark. I released Jackson's hand as to not crush it when I balled my hand into a fist and pushed it into the pocket of my leather jacket. Jackson's fingers firmly clamped down on the base of my coat for lack of anything else to hold on to.

I took a steadying breath, gazing deep into Mrs. Reid's eyes. "Indeed," I nodded slowly. "A decorated Major does suit Alice nicely." I smiled at her and nodded once more. "Good day ma'am."

Striding around her, Jackson hurried along at my side until we reached the entrance doors. "Go on kiddo, have a good day." I spoke as I held the door open for Jackson, who frowned over his shoulder at Mrs. Reid before peeking inside.

He gasped and reeled back so that he was pressed back against the brick wall. I gave him a quizzical glance as he flattened the inky mane atop his head and straightened his puffy coat. Taking a deep breath Jackson threw on an overconfident, mischievous smirk before strutting into the building like a peacock flashing his feathers.

An eyebrow raised I followed him with my eyes and laughed to myself as he coolly shrugged his coat off and slouched against the wall. Jackson nodded casually at two other boys who raced over to where he stood. One boy was eagerly pointing at the yellow Iron Man t-shirt he wore, little did he know, Jack was seeing right through him. A small, slender girl with large, bright red ringlets and freckles all over her face looked at him from where she stood with her friends and giggled.

So he was over the nice-guy shtick already? I mused and shook my head. I was curious to know what Alice would have to say about her decidedly bad-boy son.

It was interesting to say the least, when I was Jackson's age I was much more interested in putting my bubble gum in Rosalie's hair. That memory reminded me of something very important that I still had to do, god forbid I forget – I'd never hear the end of it.

Drawing my phone from the back pocket of my jeans, I waltzed by Mrs. Reid with another plastered grin and ducked into the safety of my car.

The telephone rang at least several times before someone just managed to answer it before the answering machine. "Hello?" Said a naturally cheery voice, I closed my eyes and smiled dumbly to myself, to this day that voice was incredibly beautiful.

"It's me," I sighed, starting up the engine and gripping the wheel carefully in my left hand. Exiting the parking lot I chuckled at the excited shouting on the other line.

"Jasper Whitlock you've been piddling around again!" The harmonious voice yelled in mock fury, "You know bloody well I'd take a switch to ya if you were here!"


	25. When the Future cannot be Controlled

I followed the trail of tulip petals from my bed, down the stairs and into the kitchen, all the while carrying the squirming body of my puppy under my arm. Pico and I padded around the island and to the ominous black bag spread right over the edge of the table.

"What could _that_ be?" I murmured, looking down at the dog in my grasp. Pico peered up at me and tilted his head in confusion, I nodded in agreement to his silent befuddlement.

I reached out for the folded white slip of paper resting on top of the unfamiliar black bag. I flipped it open with practiced fingers and skimmed the words:

_We've got a very important appointment this evening. _

_Ps. I told you I'd keep my promise. _

_~Jazzy _

Excited, I set Pico delicately on one of the chairs and grabbed the bag, ripping the zipper clean off the bag in all of my enthusiasm. Tears sprung to my eyes as the sexy ruby gown gazed up at me, free of it's confines. My gorgeous Chanel dress, with all of it's dazzling embellishments felt fantastic in my hands.

"Oh, my poor baby! How I missed you!" I screamed, yanking it right to my chest and burying my face in the silken fabric. My dress still smelt like Jasper's car and through my haze of jubilance I was distantly aware that he was nowhere to be seen.

This morning he had woken me, that much I could remember, and he was all dressed. I sat at the table, petting my dress nostalgically and inhaling Jasper's lingering scent. I could faintly recall Jackson coming into my room as well, muttering something about school.

That must've been where they'd run off to, and evidently Jasper had returned for a length of time. I turned the paper over in my hand, he hadn't listed a time I should be ready, perhaps he was coming to pick me up?

"Well Pico, we'd better eat something first, hmm?" I spoke to the dog, feeling somewhat silly when he avidly barked right back at me.

Pico slept on Jackson's chair at the table while I read the instructions on the back of a pancake mix box. "Seems easy enough," I thought aloud. "I don't think I can screw this up." Still, as comforting as my words were I was slightly reluctant to dig into this mysterious mixture.

I'd brought out all the utensils and was gnawing on my fingertip as I dumped a fair amount of pancake powder into a large measuring cup. The phone on the wall cried out and Pico yowled his displeasure from across the room. I laughed at the grumpy growl he gave as he re-nestled himself on the chair.

"Hello?" I smiled against the receiver, hoping that a specific Southern accent might respond.

"Alice!" I grimaced and nearly dropped the box of pancake mix when Edward shrieked onto my line. He didn't sound angry, but Edward wasn't really the yelling-and-screaming type – usually that was Emmett. "Oh God Alice, I'm such an idiot!"

I rolled my eyes, oh Edward, if he stopped himself from overacting just long enough to realize how he acted, things like this would never happen. Everyone thought I was the drama queen, yeah, whatever.

I scoffed, setting the box down on the counter. Maybe this would be a good distraction, if Edward had his panic attack for another ten minutes I'd be able to talk myself out of eating that nonsense.

"Take a deep breath," I mumbled, slouching back against the wall and examining my finger nails. I should really paint them before tonight, if Jasper seriously meant we were going somewhere important I want to look my best. "Calm down and tell me what happened."

Edward was impatient, his voice cracking a little as he sputtered off again. "I-I...Bella was with _him_ this morning and she slipped and fell. I'm at work so I went out and picked her up on my break so that I could examine it. It's just a sprain, she rolled her ankle a little – but then it all just came out and-"

"Alice!" Bella came hobbling into my kitchen, launching Pico into a fit of yipping and howling. My eyes widened at the absolute mayhem that broke out in my kitchen. One moment Bella was shouting and sobbing and the next Edward was yelling insistently in my ear, all the while Pico ran clumsily around my feet, tripping over himself in his hysteria.

I hung up on Edward and lunged forward to clap my hand over Bella's mouth all in the same second. Pico was so taken aback by my outburst he sat back down on his chubby little bottom and gawked at me.

Gradually removing my fingers from Bella's mouth I held her face between my palms. "You okay?" I asked, having to look up at her a little due to our height difference. She nodded slowly, sniffling and wiping at her reddened nose. "Now, what the heck did you do to my brother?"

Bella's big, brown doe eyes squeezed shut as her quivering hand rose to hang in the space between us. My breath caught completely in my throat at the ring on her finger, large and round and encrusted with pristinely square diamonds. It was my grandmother's wedding ring.

I shrieked, dancing up and down as I squeezed her face between my hands. Bella wriggled out of my grasp, clapping her hands over her face and desperately shaking her head so that great ropes of her long hair swung around her shoulders.

"No, no, no!" She whimpered into her palms. "I can't – I _won't_ marry Edward!" Her frantic words cut my prancing off all at once, I gawped at her, having to hold my mouth shut so that my jaw didn't land on the floor.

A billion questions fired off in my brain but for once I couldn't speak a damn word. No wonder Edward had lost his mind! "Um," I choked. "What?"

Bella wiped at her eyes, gone puffy and red-rimmed with her fuss. "I don't want to hurt Jake, after everything that's happened between him and I..." She shook her head, tilting back her chin so she could look up at the ceiling and rub her eyes.

If this had been anyone other than Bella I might have slapped her. "It's a little late now, sweet heart, you already agreed." I laughed a little, poor Bella. I had to wonder if it was just in her nature to dive into things head on and _then_ panic.

She nodded and sighed, "That's not what I mean, Alice." Winding an arm around her waist I carefully guided her to the living room and sat her down gently. "I want to marry Edward, he's the only person I could ever dream of being with forever. But Jacob-"

I put my finger against her quivering lips. "Look, if that shaggy-haired, oil-stained _mutt_ of a guy really loves you – he's going to let you do what makes you happy." I tried to be reasonable, I really truly did, but honestly all I could focus on was Bella's excuse of an outfit. I love the girl to pieces but wearing ripped track pants in my house is offensive.

Bella chuckled darkly. "Alice, you don't know Jake at all." She shook her head sardonically, pulling the sleeves of her blue hoodie over her hands so she could daub at her leaky chestnut eyes.

"Beside the point." I shrugged off her remark with a scowl. I know enough about Jacob Black to despise him, that's as far as I can take it. "We are still talking about the Jacob that broke your hand right?"

Bella snorted, wiping quickly at her nose before glowering at me. "It wasn't...well...I mean, it wasn't entirely his fault." Sure, I'm completely aware how exactly Bella broke her hand all that time ago, but the fact that Jacob thought he could put his hands on her at all made me furious.

"I won't let you duck out of this one Bella, not when I know deep down this is what you want." Before she could even protest I tapped my temple with the index finger of my right hand and held up my left hand to silence her. "Are you really willing to bet against me, Bells?"

She frowned, lowering her head so her chin nearly reached her chest, great long ropes of her dark hair fell over her shoulders. "No, I'm sorry. I know it's stupid, but I need you to do something for me, as much as you'll hate it."

I whined, stomping my feet and swinging my arms the way Jackson did when I refused to buy him a toy. "Bel-la!" I whimpered, dramatically to bring something of a smile to her face.

"Just keep Edward busy for a while, I need to talk to Jake about this." She held her hands on her cheeks and shook her head slowly, peeking up at me from beneath her thick eyelashes. "Only for a bit, I promise. Edward won't understand."

Cocking my head to the side I wondered just how mad Edward would get if I really followed through with this. Still, this was Bella we were talking about...

As she got to her feet I reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Forget it." I imagined Daisy Reid and used every ounce of attitude I could muster. Bella gawped at me as if I'd just sprouted a third eye. "It's not a bad thing to _want_ something. For once, Bella, be _selfish_ damn it."

Bella's face burned crimson, I tilted my head to the side and watched as she stumbled around my words in her silence. Combing her dark chestnut tresses back with her quivering fingers, Bella looked up at me from her position on the couch. As her hands dropped into her lap I watched as she unconsciously fiddled with her ring.

"I…" Bella breathed, blinking hard and sucking in a deep breath. "I might as well just say you're right now, hmm?" As fast as she'd risen, she had flopped back down onto the cushions. She slouched down over herself and rest her elbows on her knees. "You've got enough to worry about Alice, you're right, I'm being a goof."

Oh no you don't, little Miss Isabella Swan, you're not going to pull the guilt trip on me!

I squirmed, messily raking my fingers through my hair. Crossing my legs and leaning back on the arm of the couch I watched her sternly. Bella fingered the rip in her bulky black track pants, I could see how desperately she tried to stop looking at the ring on her finger. It really was pretty.

"I didn't fall, not really." Bella rambled quietly behind the curtain of her hair. "Jake and I were walking and I tripped on something – probably my own feet – I just landed on it wrong, it wasn't his fault." Bella glanced at me with a sour look on her face. "I certainly didn't have to go the _hospital_, I think Edward just likes humiliatingme."

Snorting around a small chuckle and linking my fingers behind my head, I smiled when Pico leapt up at the couch. He tried again and again until I scooped him up and pressed him onto my stomach.

"No, Edward panicked." I sighed, leaning out of the reach of Pico's relentless lapping, "You know he can't help it."

Bella groaned, "But I didn't think he'd propose right there!" She wrung her hands in the air as if to choke something, to me that was a lot of violence for Bella, even if only imaginary. "He didn't give me a chance to say no."

I would have laughed. How many times had they been over this exactly? I tried to count in my head just how often Edward brought this up to her. All through high school he asked Bella to marry him – it was like he was a broken record! But, if I'm remembering correctly, they made some sort of compromise. I couldn't recall exactly what it was down to the very last detail, but Edward did talk her into going to Dartmouth for university – that was a huge leap for Bella!

"I think you've just run out of time." I shrugged, palming Pico's back softly. Bella looked at me curiously. "C'mon Bella – we all knew you'd cave at some point! You've given Jake enough time already, if Edward's your forever, there's nothing wrong with indulging a bit."

She scoffed at me then gagged. "I just _don't want _to be married!" Bella whined, stamping her feet rigorously on my hardwood, I chuckled when she winced, leaning over to rub her ankle. "I like my name the way it is." Her voice got quieter, gentler, I shook my head at her.

Leaning slightly I took a good look at Bella's tired features, she was pale today, though I couldn't blame her – this was a lot of activity for little Bella after all, it's a marvel that she hasn't keeled over from all the embarrassment.

"Bella, please," I threw on my dramatic overly-egotistical voice and watched as she tried to fight the oncoming grin. "_Everyone_ wants to be a Cullen."

She slapped my knee, I wouldn't tell her because I knew she put some real effort behind the hit, but it felt like a teeny mosquito bite.

"You're going to get me fired!" A male voice made us both jump.

Edward rounded the couch to stand before us on the opposite side of my coffee table. Pico barked and writhed, his little claws scraping at my skin as he tried to be intimidating.

My brother remained clad in his hospital attire, the white doctor's coat had been tinted grey in some parts due to the rain, his little Doctor Cullen name tag shimmered in the living room light.

"How'd you even get away?" I wondered, Carlisle would have most definitely covered for him, but the nurses that swarmed Edward at work certainly wouldn't have allowed him to leave the premises.

He crossed his arms, shooting a half-hearted scowl at Bella, even if he had started out utterly enraged, the drive over here would have given Edward enough time to rationalize his fury. A good distraction always cleared Edward's head, for the most part anyways.

Hey – hold on a second! I thought only Bella had a key to my apartment! If she left the door unlocked again I swear...

"Sorry Alice," Edward growled under his breath sending me a sharp side-glance as if he could read my mind. "Pardon the intrusion and I'll get you those shoes you've been pouting about."

My eyes popped, suddenly wide awake and attentive. Honestly, it has to be our almost-twins telepathy, I mean Emmett definitely couldn't tap into my head like Edward could.

"Unless you're talking about a pair of pale pink ballerinas, I have no idea what you're talking about." I said impassively, turning on my acting skills as Edward cocked his head a mere fraction to drop the full force of his glare on me.

"Miu Miu?" His words formed a question but his eyes, narrowed and darkened menacingly, warned me of an impending lunge. I tucked Pico under my arm and rose from the couch.

Taking a long and obnoxious stretch I shook my limbs out and danced towards the stairs. "Please, Doctor and Mrs. Cullen, take your time." Both Bella and Edward visibly cringed as I began my trek up the black metal winding staircase.

Pursing my lips and pacing around my bedroom I grumbled under my breath to Pico, who eagerly trailed behind me. "Can't they argue at their own place?" Pico clamped his teeth onto my pant leg, grunting as he tripped over his feet to hang on to me.

I really just didn't have time for this anyways, I love them both, but I knew Bella and Edward could hardly function without each other. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that they could work this out.

While having a quick shower I mulled over Jasper's note. I could hear the clumsy scrabbles of Pico's nails on the floor, his restless panting clear even through the sound of the water.

As much as I love to paint the town red...why did we have to go out at all? I wanted to stay home. I wanted to have him all to myself for the next three days. _Three days. _

The more I thought about it, the less inclined I was to do anything for the entirety of the day. By the time I got out of the shower and had finished brushing my teeth, I was almost too depressed to take off my towel and put on normal attire.

"I want to _sulk_, I want to _whine_," I muttered to myself as I padded around my bedroom, combing back the wet ropes of my short tresses. I could talk Jasper out of going out tonight, that wouldn't be too difficult.

Although, trudging between my bedroom and my enormous closet, I still looked over the outfits I could wear. I was absolutely thrilled to have my red Chanel gown back, but if wherever Jasper had decided to take me was so important, I had to wear something even more extravagant.

He had to be so deep in shock he wouldn't be able to sputter any bit of that southern sweetness.

I dug around in my closet until I came across a rich dark green silk that slithered across my fingers and made me shiver. Reaching up I extracted the slender cocktail dress from the utter chaos of my closet and grinned.

It was a short sleeved dress that swayed sexily on it's shiny silver hanger. It had a modest neckline – not that it mattered to me, little miss A-cup, and the material clung greedily to my fingertips as I caressed it. In an instant, I was hypnotized.

I hung it back up thoughtfully, crossing the hall once more to gather up appropriate undergarments, a set I'd originally designed myself, all intricate white lace.

My towel made a wet slopping noise when I let it slip down my frame, removing the hanger and ducking inside the dress. It fit perfectly – snug in all the right places but reasonably so. I grinned to myself, kneeling in my closet to address the gigantic line of shoes.

I had gotten bored one weekend and organized them all according to style, type and colour. It looked as if I had literally harnessed a rainbow in here. I skimmed my fingers over a series of heels before my eyes landed decidedly on a pair of tan twisted ballerina flats. I gathered them gently in my hands, admiring them as best I could without coming to tears. I really do _love_ Christian Louboutin.

Smiling goofily at my reflection I reminisced about Cinderella as I slipped them delicately on my feet. I was so lost in the beauty of my ensemble, it took a few seconds before I really noticed Edward standing in the doorway.

"Beautiful, Alice." He murmured, leaning casually against the door, his work coat neatly pinched between his folded arms. Edward's eyes, thoughtful liquid gold, were soft as they appraised me.

I grinned triumphantly without looking at him. "So you talked her into it?" I did a small pirouette in front of my mirror, peering over my left shoulder into the eyes of my reflection, in search of any imperfection that desired my attention.

Edward nodded slowly, cautiously, holding his tongue as if he thought that voicing the words might suddenly cause everything to backfire again. "I can't read her mind." He confessed on a sigh, tilting his head to expose the pale column of his neck. Edward's eyes narrowed and he hummed against his pressed lips. "I really don't want to force it."

I smirked impishly at him, cocking an eyebrow. "You didn't have any trouble imposing your will power earlier." Edward snorted at my comment, hurrying his gaze away to stare fixatedly at the ceiling.

"I make exceptions when it comes to..." He clenched his teeth rather than saying Jacob's name. For all his intelligence and strange telepathy, even Edward acted impulsively at some points. He might have ungracefully blurted out his proposal in the hospital because of what had happened to Bella today, however; I already knew Edward was going to fix the situation.

I pivoted on my heel to get a better angle at my dress. "Take Bella home," I mused, picturing all sorts of scenarios in my head now. "Emmett and Rose are going out tonight anyway, you'll make it up to her then."

Edward made a questioning noise in the back of his throat. I rolled my eyes, facing him sternly and raising my hands to place my index fingers on my temples.

"The All Seeing Alice predicts that you will make dinner and get on your knee and propose properly, then sweep her off her feet to the bedroom." I spoke in a lower octave, my words robotic and curt, Edward laughed at my vision of the future.

He held his coat in one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. "Honestly," Edward chuckled harmoniously. "I don't know if it's you and Emmett trying to get in my pants or Bella."

I raised my chin and shrugged. "Really, Edward – as if I had time for such childish games." I spoke impassively, fighting back a smug smirk as I adjusted my dress. He raised a hand in surrender, standing straight again.

My brother's eyes gradually became hesitant, that shimmering gold turning hard and emotionless. You could almost count the number of muscles in Edward's jaw, twitching as they were, he clenched his teeth adamantly.

"Just...tread lightly with this one, Alice." Edward warned in a whisper, his eyes seeking and holding mine with a reluctant intensity. "Jasper is-" Edward hummed a high pitched sound as he raked his fingers through his dishevelled hair "-he's..._unpredictable_."

I shook my head firmly, feeling the wet-dry clumps of my hair lap at my cheeks while I pursed my lips. "No," I disagreed gently, scrunching my nose at Edward. "He's just a little odd."

My brother laughed as he took a step into the hallway. "What a perfect match you are." Edward teased, winking at me before he disappeared down the hall.

I stood still in front of the mirror, holding my breath as I listened to Edward and Bella's departure. Distantly I could hear Pico's pitter-pattering paws trailing along behind them. When the door to my apartment closed heavily, I blew out my breath and dug my fingers into my hair, ravaging the ebony locks.

When I'd finished, I gazed thoughtfully at my reflection again. Large topaz eyes gleamed back at me, long black lashes fanned outward. I swept on a shiny clear lip gloss and took a long stride away from the image. The pixie in the mirror blinked back at me, her hair disarrayed wildly around her teensy face. I examined her meek but stunning features, trying to see what exactly everyone else saw.

I had never been a narcissistic person, but I had to admit, whatever kind of beautiful venom that ran through my veins – I was most certainly grateful for it.

"So much for staying in." I muttered to myself. Now that I had discovered this gorgeous dress – and the shoes and accessories to match – there was no way that I couldn't show them off. I wanted Jasper all to myself, I really did, but how would I

I had just finished cleaning up my bedroom and grabbed a long black coat from my closet when I heard the door downstairs opening. Pico gave out an echoing wail of excitement, Jackson's responding shriek made me grin softly to myself. Had Bella and Edward really been here for this long?

Pulling my arms into the sleeves of my jacket, I swept downstairs. Jackson lunged at me, all at once abandoning his puffy coat and backpack and wrapping his arms around my legs. "I saw Uncle Edward and Bella in the elevator!" He exclaimed and I nodded, leaning down to kiss his forehead before Jackson darted off again to chase Pico into the living room.

Jasper shuffled into the apartment, closing and locking the door behind himself. He gazed over at me and his lips fidgeted, an awkward slanted smile beginning to overcome his weary expression.

When his eyes met mine, I frowned and shook my head. Jasper looked much paler than usual, his vibrant eyes appeared much darker. They were further tainted by the deep, unflattering smudges that hung beneath them.

I wandered forward and pressed my palm against his cheek. He was cold, too. Jasper sighed and leaned into my caress. "You didn't sleep at all did you?" I scowled up at him and Jasper's smile fully dominated his face.

"Is it that obvious?" His words were somewhat broken up by spurts of over-tired laughter. I shook my head again. "Don't worry, darlin'. I just need to drink something, I'm so thirsty right now."

I snorted, "Jazzy a coffee really isn't going to help this. You could have woken me up – I would have sat up with you." I was insatiably curious about Jasper's irregular sleeping patterns. He didn't seem to rest at all, and when he did even that wasn't a good experience.

Jasper rolled his eyes, a large hand rising to drag long, callused fingers through my hair. "Then you would have slept all day." His voice maintained a light banter, but not even his jesting could bring light to his exterior. "Besides, we've got important places to be tonight."

I winced, wishing I had never noticed the lovely green dress in my closet. I opened my mouth to protest, but my words fell short and my lips fell shut again. Finally I managed to sputter out, "Going out is overrated." I murmured, gradually withdrawing my hand from his face.

Jasper blinked confusedly down at me, tilting his head so that lengthy blond tresses twisted into his eyes. "Alice you're already dressed." He fought off a laugh and gently navigated himself around me to aim towards the kitchen.

Growling under my breath I followed after him, running my palms down my coat and shrugging. "What do you mean? I went out earlier, I just haven't changed."

Jackson grunted as he entered the kitchen, his arm clasped around Pico as he looked at me quizzically. "That's not what Uncle Edward said." Everything about his remark was utterly innocent, however; Jackson had unwittingly just sealed my fate.

Jasper fiddled with the coffee machine in the corner, I rarely used the poor thing, it actually still looked brand new. Over the years of constant travel I'd built up a severe displeasure for regular coffee. The coffee brewer flashed a bright purple before bumbling about in it's beverage making process.

Jasper snickered sinisterly to himself. "That, and, you've only _recently_ just had a shower, you painted your nails a different colour, and you would never wear that kind of silk simply to _go out_." He leaned back enough that I could see the side of his face – the smug, smirking, supercilious side of his face.

Jackson gasped, "You're like a detective!"

I gnashed my teeth together. "You know I don't just get dressed up like this just for you, Jasper." I stated, using a sharp tone I'd certainly picked up on a runway – models are total divas unless you know how to crack them into line. Jackson gave a low whistle and gave a toothy smile as he watched us.

Jasper ran a palm over his face, turning back to the coffee maker to tap his index finger pensively on the shimmery metal. "This will be worth it." He said quietly, the mock hostility completely gone from his voice. "If you do this one thing Alice, I'll be yours until 8:00 Saturday morning."

My nose creased at the memory, my hands deliberately flying upwards to clap over my ears. The sound was muffled, but I could definitely hear Jackson chuckling.

Suddenly I made a very imperative realization: Jasper had me wound around his finger. My eyes widened as the thought crossed my mind, over the days that had passed, I had literally been entirely at his mercy. The man had talked me into getting a _dog_ for crying out loud!

Maybe Edward had a point. Maybe I did really need to tread a little more carefully.

I shrugged, removing my hands from my ears to play with the large round buttons on my jacket. "I suppose that's fair." Turning away I stared off at nothing in particular.

Nothing was going according to my plans. Jasper was singlehandedly shaping my future, something that was supposed to be completely my domain.

Not even Tristan had had that kind of power.

"Well, Jack," Jasper said over his shoulder. "You should go get washed up too, if you want to tag along." As soon as Jasper had finished his statement Jackson was whooping and stomping, releasing Pico to charge through the kitchen and towards the stairs.

I pivoted on my heel. "Where do you plan on going tonight?" I asked lowly, eyeing Jasper cautiously. His back was to me but I could practically feel the smile that was plastered on his sleepy face.

"All in due time, Alice, all in due time." He answered gently, his accent making me melt all at once. The smooth but brassy twang of his every word caused my toes to curl.

"Are you sure you're in any shape for it?" I was persistent, concerned that he would collapse at any given moment. Everything about Jasper today seemed a little too lacklustre, if those blackish smears beneath his eyes were any indication. I had to wonder if he'd caught up on any sleep at all.

He turned on the balls of his feet, swinging his arm nonchalantly. "_Alice_," Jasper hissed, his eyebrows knitting together under the knots of his blond curls. "Stop worrying – you're not my mother!"

I cocked an eyebrow at him and sighed. When my eyes flickered down to press a wrinkle out of my jacket I noticed the scattered tulip petals that remained dusted across the floor.

Grinning faintly I gazed at him from under my eyelashes. "Thank you for returning my dress." His eyes seemed to brighten now, a large smile forming on his lips as he nodded. "I really appreciate it."

Jasper chuckled, raising both hands to comb his hair away from his eyes. "I promised to buy you a new one didn't I? I'm surprised you're not going to wear it tonight." He pretended to be offended, his expression quirked to make me giggle. "And to think you made such a fuss about the damn thing too."

"Listen you, if I didn't whine you never would have bought me a new one at all!" I raised my hands up to my lips widening my eyes and throwing on my most childish voice. "What kind of man tears apart a _Chanel_ dress? You brute!"

Jasper mimicked me in a shrill tone, rolling his lazy eyes dramatically before the gurgle of the coffee machine caught his attention. I watched him retrieve a mug from the cupboard before pouring himself a cup of the thick, steaming brew.

My nose wrinkled in disgust as Jasper blew away the curling cloud that twisted above the black beverage, and gratefully raised the mug to his lips.

"Edward and Bella are getting married." I murmured, smiling happily at the thought. Isabella Marie Cullen. Since high school I'd considered Bella as nothing less than a sister to me, she'd always been meant to be one of us.

Jasper had closed his eyes, an exhausted grin on his lips as he savoured the strong drink – which I could smell from where I stood. His eyelids lifted gradually, a thoughtful gleam in them.

"It took a while." I added with a nervous laugh, "But he finally won her over." When Jasper opened his mouth to speak I blurted out the first words that came to mind. "–I'm not jealous!"

His lips pressed together again, Jasper's head tilting to an angle that looked painful. He observed me meditatively for a moment, blinking occasionally and humming to himself.

"I'm not sure you'd want to be a Whitlock, Alice." He mused, his voice quiet but not spiteful. Part of me was relieved he hadn't suggested anything along the lines of marriage, however a heavy weight dropped to the base of my gut when it became clear he had no intention of saying anything more on the subject.

I was thankful when Jackson came bounding into the kitchen, donning a dark green shirt that somewhat resembled the colour of his eyes. His dark hair fanned about his face, not entirely unlike my own. He wore the same slacks he had on the night of Rosalie and Emmett's engagement party, along with the same shiny dress shoes.

"This okay?" He asked, looking up at me as he spread his arms out wide and twirled clumsily in a circle. Pico bounced away from his unpredictable feet, Jackson swayed about when he came to a halt, laughing as he did so.

Reaching my hands out I tried to flatten his inky mane. The unruly locks disobeyed my command insistently, remaining flat for a few brief seconds before springing up and outward. Jackson giggled, straying away from my fingers and giving his head a rigorous shake.

"You'll get a headache doing that." I murmured, shaking my head at him and resting my hands on my hips. When he finally stopped, groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose, his hair had become an even bigger problem. Ebony hairs frayed outward in their full anarchic glory, the more I looked at him the more I realized that Jackson really was just like me – right down to the rebellious roots of his hair.

Running my fingers through the locks I made a face at him, which he responded to by goofily crossing his eyes. I was distantly aware of Jasper slurping at his coffee, a smile on his face.

"Give me a second." Jasper said finally, putting away his emptied mug in the dishwasher and treading for the stairs. When he'd vanished upstairs Jackson grasped my fingers.

His eyes became wide and eager, his tongue darting out to lap at his lips. "We ran into Mrs. Reid today!" Jackson announced his eyebrows shooting up as his eyes scanned my face. "She was really mean to Jasper, she said he was a delegate – delicate – _delinquent_!" He spat out the word, eyes narrowing angrily as he struggled to say it correctly.

I bit back all the rude comments that immediately sprung to my lips. That woman just didn't know her place! One of these days, I swear, she's just going to push me too far and I'm gonna lunge for sure. I grit my teeth together and asked Jackson to proceed with his story.

"He was real nice to her though." Jackie's tone had dropped a little as a puzzled look spread across his features. "I wanted to tell her to eat some dirt–"

"Jackson Brandon!" I jabbed my index finger at him, though my scolding was half-hearted as I couldn't say that I disagreed with him. Come to think of it, if the principal had have called me in to tell me Jack had said that to her, I might have simply overlooked the whole event.

He sucked in a sharp breath, averting his gaze and lowering his chin to his chest. "Well...I'm just being honest." He muttered beneath his breath, his lips forming a hard line. "She really should, Mommy. Besides that's not so bad, Tyler told me his older brother said even worse stuff. Stuff like 'freakin', that's not it – 'friggin', no I mean 'fu–"

I clapped my hand over his mouth and growled at him. "Mister if you ever say _that_ word I'll make you drink the dish soap, understood?" Jackson gulped against my palm, his gaze flickering over to the sink before he nodded eagerly. "Every last drop until it's all gone." I added, trying to solidify my warning.

Shortly after I had made my threat, Jasper strode into the kitchen, an unbecoming wrinkle curved across his forehead as he ran his palms over his clothes. Jackson made a sharp intake of breath, his eyes widening. "You look like my army toys!" In an instant Jasper had unintentionally acquired Jackson's utmost admiration.

Jasper peered up at me, handsome little twists of blond hair swaying about his face as he did. I bit my lip as I appraised the uniform yet again. Finely pressed black material held firmly to his frame, adorned by a series of different coloured pins and a perfectly straight row of shimmering gold buttons. Jasper's hands rose to adjust the black silk tie that was knotted flawlessly at his throat.

"I really love this uniform." The words blundered blindly past my lips, and Jasper immediately cast this overwhelmingly self-aggrandizing smirk.

He didn't say anything to Jasper and I when we were leaving the apartment, or when we all piled into the Mercedes in the parking lot. He nodded and responded in all the right places when Jackson spoke to him about his day at school. However, that condescending little grin never once faded.

My previous thoughts began to swim back as Jasper's right hand floated across the centre console in search of mine. I examined the five calloused, lengthy digits and tried to memorize every detail of them – right down to the thin lines of his fingernail cuticles. As I intertwined my much smaller, much more delicate fingers with his I peeked up and glowered at his smirk.

Until 8:00 on Saturday morning, I really was at the command of his every whim.

Still, I had to wonder, when exactly had I lost total control of my own future?


	26. The One you once Loved is Leaving

Jasper came to a halt so fast I collided with him.

My palms on his back I pushed away to look up at his face. Complete and utter horror had begun to slither down his features, so much so that the dark circles around his eyes seemed to deepen and his pale skin became a sickly yellow.

"Jazzy?" I murmured, becoming fearful myself. I gripped his elbow in a trembling fist shaking the limp limb hesitantly.

The waitress ahead of us paused and pivoted on the heel of her well-worn pumps and shot us both questionable glances. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and forced a smile at her. "Sorry." I gave Jasper a push and he did indeed fall into step again, his strides choppy and robotic, like a machine in need of oil.

The restaurant was quite nice – for Forks standards anyways. I'll admit that I've never really been to any of the "up town" restaurants around town. After my first trip to Paris when I was sixteen no other so called "classy" restaurants existed in this small town. I had had a taste of true fine dining and there was no way in hell I was stepping off my pedestal.

But this was an exception.

It was a cute little place, lit up by elegant imported lamps and fragrant candles. The tables and chairs were all well polished – but equally well used – wood, and the booths were made up of fine mauve cushions. The atmosphere was very laid-back, despite the evident effort that was put into making it appear so high class.

Jasper slid in front of me as we walked, like a human shield. I was confused up until the waitress brought us to the intimate booth in the far corner and left us with our menus. Jasper, Jackson and I remained standing, as did the couple across the glossy rectangular table between us.

The woman was quite tall, with tendrils of auburn hair brought over her left shoulder in wondrous waves. Her eyes were an odd blue, a washed kind of silvery blue that seemed to reflect all the light in the room. By the structure of her prominent cheekbones, the faint dimple in her chin and the way she gave me a strange, completely crooked smile I knew at once she was Jasper's mother.

The man beside her however...

"You gonna sit, boy?"

The voice, rough and wicked made me wince and jerk back behind Jasper. Jackson's hand clamped onto my wrist in a fierce fist, his stubby fingernails digging into the soft flesh.

He was a round man, but not necessarily fat. His body looked warn and tired, his hands were like Jasper's in the sense that they were coarse and large, as if they could uproot great oaks bare. However, that was the only part of him that was even remotely similar to Jasper. The man across the table had heavy shoulders and an equally heavy, square-like head situated upon them.

His features were harsh looking, with full lips that may have been handsome in another era, and wide deep-set eyes that seemed black like two pits of coal. They had anger churning deep within them, a bitter and ruthless kind of rage. His nose was somewhat crooked and reminded me of Daisy Reid. His wiry hair was oiled back but thinning and grey around his temples.

He looked like the farmers seen in those obnoxiously stereotypical paintings.

Rather than responding Jasper inclined across the table and kissed his rigid Mother on the cheek. "First, I'd like to introduce you to Alice and Jackson Cullen." Jasper's long arm snaked back and around me, drawing both Jackson and I towards him protectively.

Jasper's mother flashed me a wide white smile and rounded the table to yank all three of us into a tight squeeze. "Oh," She smirked. "You say that like you don't blather on 'bout them all day."

Jasper's face reddened when he drew away from her embrace, his eyes narrowly falling onto my face as he struggled not to smile. I rolled my eyes at him. Jackson quietly pulled his chair out and climbed onto the stocky wood with a sigh. Jasper helped me remove my coat before he dragged my chair out from under the table tucking it smoothly into place once I sat. After drawing over another chair he sat wordlessly beside me.

Jasper's mother and the man sat on the booth side of the table. His mother beaming jubilantly, the man scowling between Jackson and I.

"I'm Emma, and this is my husband John." Jasper's mother had the same lilting Southern accent that made my heart race. However, my ears began to ring as I processed her words.

John? He didn't look anything like Jasper how could he be–

Then it all came rushing back to me: Jasper's mother had run off with Emerald Hale, Rosalie's father. I had known Rose almost all my life and I am absolutely certain she has both a mother and father.

Of course, when I thought about it, Rose always was dropping painfully sarcastic lines about her parents taking marriage counselling. If Rosalie's father was still with her biological mother, I suppose it makes sense for Jasper's mother to remain with her husband as well.

Though it didn't seem fair, two people in love should be allowed to be in love, no matter what!

Realistically though, with the reputation the Hale's had built over the years, it was only logical that their family remain whole even if it was entirely broken.

I couldn't imagine trying to survive with the guilt Jasper's biological parents must have endured all these years.

Jasper's hand fell on my thigh underneath the table, his fingers closing down firmly on my skin, as if they were trying to suck the energy right from my body.

"You know, when you told me you were going to Rose's engagement do I thought you'd be shooting right back home afterwards." Emma smiled warmly at Jasper though her eyes were shifting slowly from Jackie to me. "Now that I'm seeing her, I can see why you wanted to rest here a spell."

The comfortable atmosphere Emma had created lasted only a few seconds longer before a suffocating smog spewed in. John cleared his throat. His dark eyes locked onto Jasper.

"Just like you isn't it, boy? Running off, jus' avoiding your problems–" John was interrupted when a waitress bounced over, her wide smile glimmering under the soft lighting, the long ponytail behind her head swinging jubilantly.

She dropped her hazel eyes on Jasper and, if possible, her smile got even bigger. I swallowed a bit of a growl that sprung up in my throat.

"You ready to order? Can I get you some drinks to start?" She turned fully towards Jasper, batting long eyelashes.

Only his shoulders seemed to jerk in her direction. He blinked up at her once, robotically facing me before he nodded at me.

"Um," I murmured, feeling everyone's eyes land simultaneously on me. "We'll just have a water, please, and a chocolate milk." Jackson made a low whooping sound at the mention of chocolate. The waitress's eyes narrowed a little vehemently at me before I flashed a toothy grin. She seemed momentarily awestruck when she realized just who I was.

"Coffee would be nice, dear, if you'd be so kind." Emma's voice reminded me of milk and honey, it was so soft, so gentle.

Once the waitress had pranced off again, Emma knit her fingers together and lowered her head onto the laced digits, her long hair sweeping further down her shoulder. "Well now, how old are you?" She poised the question at Jackson who had previously been sneaking glances around the restaurant.

A blush stained his cheeks when he realized someone had spoken to him. Jackson lifted his hand and pushed his hair out of his face and smiled my smile. "I'm five, but really five-and-a-half, my birthday is coming soon."

I grinned, raising my arm to comb my fingers through his silky hair. "Four months does not mean you get to add a 'half' onto that." My tone was bantering and he pivoted on his chair to make a face at me.

For a second, I swear I had a little glimpse of the future when he made that expression: _Jackson as a teenager, his shaggy hair more disarrayed, more rebellious, his green eyes larger, his face abandoned by most of his baby fat. "Mom!" He hissed, "You're embarrassing me!"_

"It's closer than your birthday!" Jack shot back, a large smirk on his face as if he truly believed he had backed me into a corner.

I dramatically tossed my hair out of my eyes and hoisted my chin up. "I don't know what you're talking about – I stopped aging at seventeen." Jackson giggled and swatted my hand away from his hair.

When Emma chuckled I was reminded that we were in public and that Jasper's mother had seen that whole display.

Then John snorted and Jasper's fingers dug into my thigh a little deeper and the moment was simultaneously crushed. I slid my hand down my side, curling my fingers around his.

"So Miss Cullen, what is it that you do?" John asked tersely. It seemed strange that he would ask me such a thing, if Jasper really had been talking to his family about us. Then again, I suppose John really wasn't part of his family at all.

"I'm a designer." I spouted confidently, I loved telling people about my work. His glare seemed to intensify when I mentioned this however, which immediately irritated me. I realized in that second that this man could not be pleased.

"Artist, really," Jasper murmured. His tone had softened notably, that rich lilt in his voice made my heart beat quicken. "You should see her sketch books."

Emma pursed her lips at me and winked, "Sounds glamorous." She said thoughtfully. "You travel then?"

Jackson scoffed a little at her question, "Travels _too much_." He snapped grumpily. It had been over a year since my last trip, and I had only gone to Rio for two weeks – yielding to Rosalie's demands for a getaway.

I nodded slowly despite myself.

Emma sighed, "Sure sounds nice. This was the first time I've been on a plane since–" She cut herself off abruptly, clearing her throat and taking a deep breath. "It's been a while." Emma amended. I pretended not to notice how both Jasper and John grimaced.

In the tangible silence that curled between us, I slouched in my chair. My eyes flickered between John and Jasper. There was a divide between them I was certain nothing on this planet could breach. It was like smoke, whatever it was, swishing about between them and slurping away relentlessly at the oxygen in the room.

As I inhaled my chest felt tight, a thick and hard lump began to ball up within my throat. I couldn't see it – for a moment I wondered if it was simply my imagination – but something was definitely stirring in the air between them.

I bit my lip, gripping Jasper's fingers a little tighter. It was there too, in his hand, as if this devastating mist of hatred was emitting from his pores. Jasper glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, a swift flash of sapphire eyes that just as quickly darted away. His expression did not change, but the glimmer in his eyes beneath the restaurant lights reminded me of a child who had been caught deliberately doing something wrong.

Jasper released my leg gradually, then my hand as well. "Pardon my discourtesy. I'll be right back." He rose stiffly, pushing his chair back into place before striding off towards the exit.

I returned my hand to my lap, breathing the way I was taught in yoga so that Emma and John would not realize how thirsty for air I was. As Jasper left, so did the awful weight on my chest. I took a sip of my water in an attempt to satiate the tremendous burning sensation at the back of my throat. Though even as I swallowed, the flame grew, the thirst became stronger.

"I'm going too!" Jackson announced, skittering off his chair before I could nab him. My heart launched straight into my throat as I struggled to stand, peering anxiously over my shoulder. Jackson bounded through the restaurant, clumsily chasing after Jasper.

"Typical." John muttered, slapping his palm on the tabletop.

Emma gave his shoulder a swat. "That'll be all John!" She hissed, her face flushed with embarrassment.

I sighed, "I'm so happy to finally meet you." I was being honest. Ever since Jasper had told me about all that had happened – with Rose, with that god-awful Maria, and with his father, I had wanted to meet his family.

Talking helped me ignore the pain, I could relax and breathe.

"Jasper's sensitive," Emma murmured, she sounded nostalgic. "Some atmospheres are just too hard on him." She explained, confirming all my prior suspicions. Maybe Jazzy really did have superpowers after all.

"I wanted to thank you Miss Cullen." She said with a sudden determination, stretching her hand across the table in askance for my own. Without hesitation I tangled my hand with hers and grinned confusedly. Emma laughed. "After everything...he deserves this. I guess I mean: thank you, for loving my son."

"Tolerating is what ya mean." John spat, his frown deepening as his eyebrows began to press together, ugly furrowed lines sunk on his forehead. "You put on a show, I'll give ya that much – but there's a boy that only a mother can love." John jabbed his index finger at Jasper's chair. "Just one screw up after the next, since he was born!"

He didn't shout, and that seemed even more terrifying to me. Unconsciously I clutched onto Emma's fingers. How could someone say that – how could someone say that about _Jasper_?

I thought there couldn't be anyone other than Daisy Reid I wanted to tear apart. However, this _disgusting_ man...

Emma opened her mouth to say something, she looked about ready to scream at him when the waitress returned with our drinks. One second she was clenching her fist, her face beat red, her eyes blazing – the next she was smiling serenely, stroking the back of my hand with her thumb and thanking the waitress.

It was like the flick of a switch!

John jerked back in his chair the minute the waitress was out of sight, he bellowed unintelligible words at Emma before he stomped off. I stared after him, utterly bewildered by what had occurred.

Emma dragged her hand away from mine, cupping her face in her hands. "We're not like this!" She choked, "I promise you we're not."

I sat back in my chair, watching her and praying Jasper would come back as soon as possible.

Fifteen minutes later I had downed my entire glass of water, the prefect squares of ice beginning to melt into one another. "I really do." I whispered to Emma once she had lifted her head. Her eyes were bloodshot, her skin had become pale and had shrunk against her bones. "Jasper is the only person I could ever imagine being with."

"Alice, my princess!"

I started in my chair. There was only one person in this world who ever called me that.

"Emerald?" Emma and I said in synchronization, both turning to gawk at the man.

Rosalie's father was a towering man. He had always seemed like a giant to me, though looking now I realized he was the same height as Jasper. With hair like spun gold, elegant little twists swept back in a windblown matter, the streaks of grey around his temples blended flawlessly.

I always teased Rosalie about how her father should have been a model – the face this man had could almost rival Carlisle regardless of their nine year age difference. He had a strong jaw, chiselled perfectly like stone, his sensual smirk of a smile parted his bow-like, scarlet lips. A sporty pair of black sunglasses sat perfectly on the bridge of his nose, hiding his large azure eyes.

His body was constructed like an athlete, even at the age of fifty-six. I always imagined Emerald Hale could do anything someone my age could – and two times better.

Emerald donned a grey suit, a white blouse worn beneath and a cerulean tie fastened right to his throat. The broad expanses of his chest and shoulders were well accentuated by the garment, he looked almost too fabulous for the restaurant.

He extended his hand to me, with a smile I accepted his grasp and rolled my eyes when he leaned downward to kiss my fingers. "You look exquisite, as always." Emerald murmured, waltzing around the table to occupy John's seat and sweep his fingers across Emma's cheeks, erasing her tears. "I'm terribly sorry I'm late, darling. Jasper caught me in a rather taxing meeting, not to mention the traffic was disastrous."

Jasper sat beside me again, his posture not so unlike how it had been. He seemed able to breathe now, a smile spread crookedly on his face. Jackson chattered his teeth when he sat on my other side, he looked at me riddled with genuine concern. "I think it might snow again, it was cold outside."

"We'll have to get your winter coat back out then, sweetie." I sighed, secretly hoping that the weather was getting worse, Jasper's plane couldn't take off in a snow storm. Even still, the thought of snow made my nose wrinkle, not to mention that these shoes were not exactly equipped for a chill.

Listlessly I lifted my hand to my throat, the sensation was gone. It was hard to believe such a terrible ache could be soothed so simply. I peered up at Jasper. "Feeling better?" I asked, elbowing him in the ribs. His hand shot out at me, grasping my forearm just below the joint of my elbow.

Jasper tilted his head at me so that the wispy curls of his hair fell over the side of his face. "You noticed that, did you?" He said teasingly, releasing my arm gently.

"You know," Began Emerald Hale, removing his sunglasses to fold them neatly on the table. He swung his arm behind Emma's chair, leisurely resting it along the edge behind her shoulders. Jasper's mother blushed. "When Cassandra told me she had seen you two together at Rosalie's engagement party, I was somewhat shocked."

Cassandra. The name made me grimace.

I respected Rosalie's mother, she is a very accomplished woman – though that does not mean I like her.

She is a terribly wicked person. I knew that from the moment I met her. Back in high school, none of us were ever even supposed to _mention_ Mrs. Hale in Rosalie's presence.

The first – and last – time I spent a week at one of Rose's summer houses, was the first time I ever witnessed any form of violence that was not choreographed on television.

Cassandra Hale had specific tastes and imposed them upon her daughter, even to this day. That particular weekend I had whispered to Rosalie that I was going to be an artist one day.

I had been lying on my stomach on Rose's bedroom floor, painting her toenails while watching movies. It was in that instant that a series of events unfolded, and now, even remembering that afternoon I wish I had said nothing. If only I had been able to see the future and known what my confession would have lead to.

Coincidentally, Cassandra had entered the bedroom carrying a tray of snacks for us just as I said it. She chuckled at my divulgence as she rest the tray on Rosalie's desk. I had ignored the insulting laughter despite myself, though Rose did not.

"_I want to be an editor."_ Rosalie had responded in her condescending way, even then in grade nine she had the air of a queen about her. _"I want to be an editor for my own magazine."_

In a split second it seemed, Cassandra had crossed the room and seized Rosalie by the arm. It was the first time I had ever seen fear in Rose's eyes and it terrified me.

Before I knew it, she had been hauled into the hallway by her wrists. Cassandra had closed the door – or so she believed – and began shaking her daughter in the hallway like a ragdoll. I watched from the crack in the door as she hissed at Rosalie in a whispered shout. Rose made no attempt to cry out or fight back the whole time she was being throttled by her mother. Her blue eyes remained squelched shut, as if that could stop the tears.

No, I do not like Cassandra Hale.

"Mommy?" Jackson's voice penetrated my thoughts and I shook free of the memory too gaze down at him. He lifted his small hand to touch my face, Jackson's fingers traced the curve of my cheek. When he withdrew his hand again, I saw the shine of the tears that he had wiped away.

I cleared my throat. "Sorry!" I gushed, fanning my face as I forced a laugh. "My imagination took off with me."

Both Emma and Jasper looked severely sceptical by my explanation, though neither said anything.

Emerald Hale snorted, "Perhaps you should walk with your drawing books?" He mused with a wide grin that reminded me of his daughter. "Then you could record those fantastic thoughts of yours." I nodded numbly in agreement, grasping my glass to take a sip of melted ice.

Jasper's eyes were hard to ignore, I paid him no heed however, holding my glass tightly as I gulped. I could feel him staring me down, probing for answers I refused to voice aloud.

"That hair does suit you beautifully, Alice." Emerald continued, blowing away the tension between Jasper and I. I settled my glass on the table before me in case I needed to quickly snatch it up again. Gazing up at Jasper's Father I grinned, dragging my fingers through my chaotic locks.

Jasper cocked an eyebrow at me, flickering his eyes towards Emerald quizzically. Jackson cleared his throat and elaborated, "Mommy used to have really, really long hair." In truth, Jackie had never seen me with long hair outside of the photographs Esme insisted upon keeping.

The teeny hairs on the nape of my neck stood up completely on end when Jasper lifted his slender, calloused fingers and swept them across the back of my neck. My face was instantaneously on fire while he grinned harmlessly and twisted my short hair around his fingers.

"You don't say." Jasper said lowly. There was a definite provocative undertone to his voice.

After years of practice – and Emmett's constant attempts to embarrass me – I was able to maintain most of my poise. Regardless, I could see the fidgeting smile on Emma's lips. She peered innocently across the restaurant in order to hide it.

"What happened?" Jasper mused, tugging gently on my tresses. I pulled away from his fingers and pretended I needed to adjust my dress. His smirk widened, a mischievous glint dashed across Jasper's eyes while I evaded him.

Emerald Hale snickered at the memory, rubbing at his chin as he eyed me thoughtfully. "They didn't tell you?" Jasper shook his head in response. A familiar look of nostalgia crossed Emerald's face, I often recognized it on Charlie whenever I visited him. Bella's father could go on for hours about the silly things she had done as a child.

"Well," Emerald started, his voice somewhat shaken with laughter. "Alice and Rosalie utterly despised each other in school. Back then your hair must have been at least to the small of your back, no?" It was a rhetorical question so I quietly nodded, prompting Emerald to continue. "I believe Rose knotted a clump of bubble gum in Alice's hair so deep, my poor Princess had no other choice but to cut it all off."

Jasper smugly snorted to secret his laughter, though I proceeded to punch his shoulder regardless. Jackson's expression dropped, "Aunty Rose did _that_?" He was incredulous, gawking at me beneath his thick hair.

I sighed slowly, "It wasn't really that terrible." I shrugged my shoulders indifferently, though I couldn't keep from grinning at the recollection. "I did retaliate though: I told Edward." Jackson started to giggle at my idea of revenge. "In the end the three of us were subjected to three weeks detention – that's how she and I became friends. Rosalie drove Edward absolutely insane."

Jasper snorted, "He's not the only one." Emma shot him a dagger-like look and he murmured a quiet apology. Emerald winked at him with a wily expression.

"I think you're pretty anyway," Jackson stated as he stretched his arm out to caress my cheek. I smiled, turning my head to the side to kiss his chubby little palm.

Emerald exhaled softly, "To think Carlisle and I were going to have them engaged." Emerald's face became very pale, his eyes widening as if he had just witnessed an enormous explosion. I blurted a laugh inelegantly, holding my palm over my lips.

Esme had told me that once as well. Carlisle was just very old fashioned, though his intentions were always pure-hearted. That however, would have been a complete nightmare: Edward and Rosalie have _never_ gotten along – locking them in matrimony would be no different than imprisoning two rabid dogs in a pit fight.

"We are lucky that Emmett is a fast runner." I murmured and Emerald chuckled. When Jasper gave me a questioning glance I smirked. "We went camping together before they dated, when Rose still thought Emmett was a dork." I explained quietly, swallowing my desire to snicker.

Jackson gasped, "I remember that story! He got chased by a bear and fell into Aunty Rose's tent, right?" Jackson's eyes were wide with excitement, as if he had been waiting for this conversation to arise the whole evening. "Then they had to spend the whole day together until the bear left."

I shook my head, "Not the whole day, baby."

Rosalie always says it felt as if she had been trapped in there with Emmett forever. Really, it was a mere twenty minutes before the bear wandered off again. It's funny how little time it takes to fall in love. For months after that accident Emmett was hell-bent on marrying Rosalie – _'dating is just a filler Alice, I don't _need_ it!_' he had said, glaring at me when I refused to hook them up.

"To think," Emma spoke up suddenly, her eyes somewhat glossy when they swept from Jasper to me. "If you hadn't enlisted we could have moved here Jasper, you two would have gone to school together." Emma's words were harmless though Jasper's expression became rock hard as if she had said something to truly offend him. I swallowed the lump rising in my throat, pretending that I'd been distracted by something across the restaurant.

Emerald grunted disapprovingly. "No. Rosalie would have lost her mind." He said flatly. Emerald smiled sadistically suddenly. "Not to mention Jazz was quite the philanderer back in the day, suppose those chivalry lessons didn't exactly _stick_ after puberty." Jasper's face shot at least four varying shades of solid crimson. His gleaming eyes widened while his Father smirked and pulled his long fingers through his delicate locks. Emma scoffed and swatted Jasper's father on the shoulder.

Once again Emerald soothed the tension, though at the cost of Jasper's composure. I reached up and pinched his reddened cheek and giggled. "Oh, you don't say?" I purred deviously while Jasper drew away from my fingers and frowned at me as if to say "don't encourage him," I smirked victoriously at this sudden nervous look in his eyes. "There has to be stories, no?" I cocked an eyebrow at Emerald whose expression had become smug.

Jasper stammered, "H-h-high school isn't that important." His voice faltered significantly with embarrassment and he shook his head at his Father pleadingly. "That was a long, _long_ time ago."

"Hey, maybe for you!" I scowled, "I'm not that old!" Jackson laughed at our bickering. The abrupt flash that shot across Jasper's eyes made me feel as though I had just aided him in gaining ground over me.

He swung an arm behind my chair, easily pulling it against his own with a conniving grin. With that same hand he violently ravaged my hair with his fingers. "Indeed, sometimes I forget how young you are in some ways." Jasper admitted, "Especially since you're half my height, it's just difficult to see you as an adult. Not that sleeping 'till two in the afternoon and eating ice cream for breakfast helps your case at all."

My jaw dropped. No way did he go there! I balled my hand into a fist and waved it in the small gap between us. The way I see it, I'm actually the right height and everyone else is just abnormally tall.

Jackson snickered. "And that one time you couldn't go on the rollercoaster because you were too small." Jasper laughed outright and Jackson hid behind his hands when I turned and gawked at him. His big green eyes peeped from between his small fingers, a toothy smile emerging as he ducked away from me. Jasper had my own son turning against me? What kind of backwards, nonsensical world is this?

"It was _one_ time and you weren't even supposed to know about it!" I growled, struggling to keep a blazing heat from rising to my face. I stopped going to amusement parks after that trip, Emmett and Edward giggle – literally giggle like school girls – whenever someone brings it up. Besides, I got on the ride after I explained in thorough detail exactly who the rollercoaster instructor was dealing with.

I liked to see Jasper this way, it was a drastic difference now that Emerald was here. Evidently, whatever friction laid between him and Rosalie did not tarnish his relationship with their father. It seemed strange however, seeing Emerald Hale in a not-exactly-exquisite restaurant in the middle of Forks. The times I saw Rosalie's father was always brief, though he is not cruel like Cassandra, he rarely ever has free time. He wasn't even at Rosalie's graduation ceremonies. This must have been very important to Jasper if Emerald had even bothered to stop by.

We sat for hours, Jackson and I shared a plate of French fries and chicken-fingers despite the fact that this was supposed to be an extravagant evening. I wasn't hungry at all, too absorbed in the way Jasper interacted with his parents – real parents – it wasn't at all how Rosalie made it seem. As much as she disapproved of Emerald and Emma's union, they were far from the dysfunctional family of my imagination.

"Speaking of Cassandra," Emerald murmured, his arm rested comfortably around Emma's shoulders, his free hand fiddling with his designer sunglasses. He pursed plump red lips thoughtfully before continuing, as if he might change his mind. He had been telling us about the shoes he had bought her in Venice, and though Jackson and Jasper effectively tuned him out by gearing up their own conversation, I had actually been listening.

"You should know, Jasper, Maria has been in Forks." Emerald sighed at the end of his confession, as if the mere mention of her had drained him. I stifled my urge to growl, darting my eyes away to glower at the flirty waitress that had served us.

From the corner of my eye I saw Emma squeeze Emerald's hand reproachfully. "It's not necessary to bring that up here." Emerald frowned deeply, withdrawing his hand from hers to press back the locks of his golden mane.

Jasper's breath hitched audibly, when I risked a peek over at him I noticed how his eyes momentarily flickered down towards Jackson. "I know she's here. I've known for some time. We've..." He ground his teeth together irately. "We've run into each other."

Emerald hummed to himself rather than responding, his eyes pensively rolling towards me. I tried not to be noticeably annoyed by the topic change. The last thing I wanted to discuss before Jasper's last day was his witch of an ex-girlfriend. The fact that she was here, in Forks, _near_ _us_ set me on edge.

I'm generally not a violent person, honestly, that's just not the way Esme and Carlisle raised us. But the fact that Jasper had bumped into her and he hadn't told me, almost made me sick to my stomach with outrage.

Jackson picked absently at his fries. His big eyes moved slowly around the table as if he were sitting just below the billowing smog of tension, completely unfazed by the dark cloud.

Jasper moved a reluctant hand to my thigh, his thumb stroking circles into my dress. I wanted to pull away, but the small voice in the back of my head reminding me that he would soon be gone held me in place.

"Cassandra called her just after the engagement party. I didn't think anything of it until I found out you had been staying with Alice." Emerald spoke softly, as if Jasper might flutter away like a butterfly at the utterance of a wrong word.

Jasper looked sickly, like he had a few months ago when he had lain in my lap all night. He had told me he wasn't feeling well, but I was starting to wonder otherwise. If he had a run in with Maria perhaps it had been that weekend and that was the true reason behind it all.

A thick, heavy knot settled in my stomach like a giant bowling ball. I winced under the pressure of the coil, carefully pulling my leg out from under Jasper's palm and delicately turning a fraction away. I could feel his eyes boring into me and struggled to stay silent.

I wanted to know what went on between them. Had she said something to him? Had she hurt him? Jasper is no child, and I shouldn't treat him as such, but I love him – can I really be wrong to worry about this?

"I haven't seen her since." Jasper said sternly, more to me than to his father. I exhaled slowly, reaching across the table to collect my water. I sipped quietly at the melting ice cubes, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. "She made her mark though." He confessed in a whisper, gradually ceasing his steadfast stare.

Part of me was frustrated that I had no idea who this Maria woman was. I wanted to confront her, to put her in her place. She might have been part of his life somewhere in the past, but what she did to Jasper was completely unacceptable. Maria needed to know she couldn't hurt him anymore – not while Jasper was with me.

If Jasper can protect Jackie and me from Tristan, the least I could do was return the favour. But where could I start? There were certainly countless Maria's in Forks, and although I could utilize my connection with the police department, I wanted to hunt her down myself.

God Alice, you sound like an animal! I thought to myself, blushing a little at the realization. I didn't just desire to challenge Maria, I wanted to sink my teeth into her!

"I'm sure she's gone." Emma spoke hopefully to appease the burning hatred that had permeated the air. "There really isn't much to do around here." She laughed faintly, smiling an optimistic grin that flashed her pearly teeth.

Jasper clenched his jaw, the click of his teeth made me flinch in my chair. "Yes." He agreed. "She doesn't waste excess time when the job's already finished." His voice was bitter, hostile.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you knew." Emerald sighed, "I'm sorry I couldn't warn you sooner."

Jasper shook off the comment with a nod, his blond tresses bouncing resiliently around his handsome features. I continued to lap at my ice cubes, suckling enduringly at my water.

We eventually were forced to part ways when the restaurant began to close down. Jackson drowsily clung to my side as we said our goodbyes. The way the conversation had ended made leaving somewhat a relief, even if I didn't want Emma and Emerald to go.

Emma kissed Jasper on his cheeks multiple times before Emerald finally peeled her away from him. Her hands clasped before her, she leaned down to kiss my forehead before she smiled and slipped away.

"I wish you well, my Princess." Emerald smiled as he departed, blowing me a kiss as he put on his sunglasses. He looked far too glamorous as he and Emma were welcomed into the stretched confines of his limousine. I waved and laughed, though both felt significantly phonier than I would have liked.

I hesitantly ducked into the Mercedes, wishing there was a way I could avoid being alone with Jasper for the ride home. Jackson sleepily sprawled across the backseat, his fingers tapping lethargically on his cast as he stared at the ceiling of the car.

Jasper was speechless, his eyes firmly locked on the road ahead. I was certain he was aware of how he could choke the very oxygen out of a space simply with his will power; yet he proceeded to exert his force without regard.

When we finally arrived at my apartment building, I hurried to get out of the car. I knew by the blackness of the glare he shot me that I had not concealed my impatience well.

Jackson garbled to me about the number of chicken fingers he ate when we reached our floor. I carried him to his room and laughed breathily when he told me he never wanted to eat chicken again. He undressed without much thought, pulling the dress clothes away from his body and pulling on his camouflage flannel pyjamas. I watched with a faint smile as he collapsed atop the sheets, he writhed beneath his duvet like a worm when I tried to tuck him in. Pico curled into Jackson's side with a high pitched yawn, his little brown-and-black head buried into the bedding.

I dreaded going into the bedroom, I almost snuck down to the living room to sleep on the couch. Don't be a coward, I thought to myself decisively, striding into my room and gently closing my door behind me.

Jasper didn't have the right to be angry with me, in fact, his anger was completely unjustified. My rage however, was completely vindicated – I deserved more than anyone to know about his impromptu meeting with Maria.

"You should have told me." I immediately went for his throat with my opening line. Jasper sat on the foot of my bed, his uniform unbuttoned, his tie hanging limply around his neck. He fisted the sheets and stared fixatedly down at the carpet while I spoke. "Why don't you tell me anything? You _can_ trust me Jasper. What if she had come here? What if I'd been the one she met up with?"

His expression blanked for a moment, Jasper peered up at me and shook his head. "She...she did meet you, Alice, she told me." Jasper appeared genuinely concerned, his hands releasing the sheets to clutch at his hair. "But _you_ didn't see _her_. This is terrible. How can I...I can't leave you unprotected, I–"

I interrupted his frantic babbling with my hands, resting my palms smoothly on the crisp material of his uniform. "I'm not afraid of Maria." I declared with confidence, and it was the truth – in fact I wanted to meet her. I hope she's seen me, as creepy as that is, I hope she knew exactly who I was and how to find me again.

We had a lot to catch up on, Maria and I.

"You should be." Jasper whispered, his gorgeous blue eyes wide with genuine fear. "You should be." He repeated on a shaky exhale, "_I'm_ afraid of her, Alice. I can't lose you, not because of her."

I made a face. So that's why he kept it a secret.

"Nothing's going to take me from you, Jazzy." I promised, lowering myself into his lap. "I was scared that she hurt you, that she said something to you."

Jasper stiffly wrapped his arms around me, his breaths low and heavy as he rested his chin atop my head. "Maria knows me, Alice, she knows what I really am. I'd never let her do anything to you, but I never want you to see _that_ side of me either."

I coiled my arms around his shoulders tightly. My face tucked into the crook of Jasper's neck, I inhaled deeply and sighed. "Jasper you know I don't care about any of that," I tried not to let the frustration seep into my words. "It doesn't matter, I only want you, every side of you."

After all this time, after everything we've been through, he still thinks of himself as a monster? As Jasper held me closer I frowned to myself. Jasper is so far from being any kind of bad, and still he was the only one who couldn't see that.

Then again, after living with John, and then worse, Maria...could I really blame him?

Sitting there, like that Jasper and I fell asleep in perhaps one of the most uncomfortable positions of all time. Somehow though, it made perfect sense to wake up and face our last day together in pain.


	27. Now You See Me

Hehehehe... hey guys :3 long time no see.. I know, I'm a monster, but hopefully I can actually keep updating cuz I really forgot how much I love writing this story! But, on a side note, I really wanna thank Deltagirl74 for bringing me back into the game, YOU ARE MY HERO! 3

~Selene

* * *

There are some things the mind just can't handle, I realize that now.

It was there in the back of my mind, lingering there in the darkness. There was something broken, snapped, _dead_ just behind the veil of shadows. I was too frightened to look upon it for too long, I did not want to see too much of it in case it had a face...Jasper's face.

I rolled over sourly, my body ached from a pain that wasn't entirely physical. I curled deeper into myself under the sheets of my bed and moaned hoarsely into my knees. My breaths were rough, sharp rasps and were quickly followed by a sudden bout of sniffles, then of course the weeping.

I've cried hard before but this was crippling – I could hardly catch my breath enough, could hardly close my eyes tight enough.

"Alice." Edward said softly for the millionth time. I was going to have my locks changed immediately, even if it meant that I would have to do it myself. I wanted no outsiders here, I didn't have the energy to fend them off anymore and Edward was beginning to figure that out.

"Please." He breathed and I flinched when the weight of another body fell down onto my bed. Edward pressed his hand down onto my side through the duvet. "You have to come out...it's been-" He hesitated, I could actually hear the hitch in his throat "-it's been nearly a week since...Jackson's starting to ask questions. He wants to see you, he wants to come home. It's not right to keep him cooped up with Carlisle and Esme, we can't keep lying to him."

I exhaled dryly, struggling to gather up the strength to breathe in again. My chest hurts. Slowly I brought my hand to my heart, gripping a fistful of my t-shirt. When last had I changed clothes?

Edward growled under his breath. He was reaching his limit, if I pushed him a little harder he would leave, and I could go back to...to...

"You're being a terrible parent." Edward had an edge to his voice that was too jagged, it was too obvious that he was forcing the words. Still I whimpered into my legs. "I know you're hurting," He sighed. "I know how you feel, you know I do. I've been here Alice, it's a very dark and dangerous place but...you won't let anyone pull you out. Please, Alice. Let me help?"

I held my breath, well, not really...I simply wasn't breathing. I didn't have any desire to. I closed my eyes, turned my face deep into the mattress and lay there silently.

A minute, perhaps an hour passed before Edward sighed in defeat. The bed shook as he rose to his feet again. "Clean up, I'm bringing Jackson and Pico home tomorrow. Bella will come by later tonight." He said exasperatedly before I heard his elegant footfalls departing my bedroom.

In the back of my mind, I sensed something stirring amongst the shadows. Fear descended upon me in thick, smothering waves.

As if it were that day again, I could see Jasper: his back to me for a moment as he saluted to a large, hard looking man decorated in a series of colourful medals and pins. He turned and introduced Jackson and I, though we barely managed to sputter a semblance of a greeting.

He looked us over with his hard face before he said sternly, "A minute" and strode off with firm, deliberate strides.

Jasper reeled on the heel of his freshly shined shoes, dropping the enormous beige and grey bag he had previously slung over his shoulders. His blond tresses whipped back from the force of his movements. Jasper's hand – rough, meaty, strong hand – knotted so tightly in my hair it hurt, but that was not nearly as painful as the searing kiss he crushed down onto my lips. He nearly pulled me off of my toes by my hair in his desperation, the pain promised that these last months had been real.

I could taste salt on our tongues, I wasn't sure if it was my tears or his.

"You're killing me." I choked, trying to hold onto his uniform coat, my palms were covered in sweat.

Jasper's voice cracked deep in his throat before the words had even risen to his lips. He held our faces together. "Don't." He pleaded.

I felt the warmth of his hand leaving my skin, I felt his being moving away from mine. I was sobbing.

Jasper's face was a ruin, there was so much anguish toiling in his eyes, so much unspoken torment on his trembling lips. Briefly, too briefly he tousled Jackson's hair. "I'll be back kiddo." He struggled to speak, he avoided Jackson's eyes.

Jackson scurried forward just a second too late, his arm outstretched, fingers closing on the air.

Jasper raced himself backward and nearly took a tumble over his bag. As he slung the hefty sack back over his shoulder, I could the horrified glimmer of his blue eyes beneath the mess of his curls. "I love you," He mouthed.

And he was gone.

I rolled entirely over in my bed, onto my elbows and knees and screamed at the top of my lungs into the mattress until there was a popping in my ears.

When next I awoke it was not to Isabella Swan but Rosalie Hale.

"I am real sick of your shit, Mary-Alice Cullen." She snarled, red-painted lips curling furiously. She had ripped the duvet clear off of my bed and left it mangled on my bedroom floor.

In the doorway Bella blubbered. "Give her some time Rosalie, we shouldn't rush her!" Upon receiving Rose's glare however, Bella silenced herself.

Rose turned back to me a frowned fiercely. There wasn't the slightest hint of sympathy in her gaze, though I shouldn't have expected there to be. Her hair was pulled back over her shoulders, hanging in tousled waves down to her lower back. Somehow even the golden tresses seemed to be irritated with me.

I didn't have any fight in me when she pulled me up and into a sitting position. My body was unsurprisingly stiff and sore but seemingly remained limp in her grasp. Rosalie scoffed and commented on my scent under her breath but I didn't notice.

That blonde hair.

Those blue eyes.

A single solid hiccup leapt to my lips and I became instantly aware of the mind-numbing anguish again. Then again, I guess it never left.

"Maybe next time you'll listen to me." Rosalie hissed. I was vaguely aware of her slender fingers combing the knots of hair from my face, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "You look sickly." Her voice was made of unfeeling stone.

Inhaling sharply I wrapped my arms around my torso. My chest felt weak as if it were having a hard time holding itself up – holding me up. "Just...leave me alone." I managed to say. Hearing my own voice, the bitter dryness and unfamiliarity of it was frightening. There was no music to it, no life or beauty.

Rosalie was a force to be reckoned with. Before I knew it she was shouting something. A larger figure entered the room reluctantly and sighed before heeding her call. Emmett kneeled and scooped me over his shoulder gently, his thick arms held me in place. The contact was too warm, too human. In the shadows of my mind I thought of Jasper, of his rough hands slinging me over his shoulder playfully.

I clenched my teeth, beginning to press my knees into Emmett's chest and gouge my elbows into the muscle of his back. Instinctively my body attempted to ball itself up protectively; I made an honest effort to muffle my cries for my brother's sake.

Emmett paused in the doorway of my bathroom. "Rose she can't do this yet, Bella's right." My brother's voice was resolute, if I ignored the pain shaking through my body I could feel the way Emmett stiffened.

What was it that I had to do? Why did I have to do anything?

"Please just leave!" I begged raggedly, searching for my voice, for some semblance of myself in the darkness. Emmett gradually lowered me to my feet, his heavy palms on my shoulders. I looked him in the eye and tried to ignore the horror that lingered within the topaz shades of his irises. He opened his mouth then closed it again, pressing his lips together in concern.

"Can you at least shower Alice?" Emmett whispered, forcing himself to grin and hide the anxiety that would have certainly come through his words otherwise.

I nodded once, hoping that perhaps in doing this they would leave me be. However once Bella got the water running and Rose laid out a fresh pair of clothes and I stood alone in my bathroom I merely crouched down on the floor.

The bathroom terrified me. I had stood beneath the spray of the showerhead interlocked with Jasper not an hour before we departed for the...I breathed in deeply, shaking the memory from my mind. I bit into my bottom lip to keep myself from making too much noise, Rosalie would most definitely check on me if she suspected I was not doing as told.

So I silently cupped my face in my trembling hands and struggled to keep the sobbing beneath the sound of the running water. I rocked absently in my corner of the bathroom, shifting my weight between the balls of my feet as the steam began to cling to the walls around me.

Come on Alice! I told myself, knowing I had no intention of getting up any time soon. Whether it was the realization that I actually smelt of death, or the yearning of the masochist in me could no longer be neglected, I disrobed and crawled into the shower.

The water fell brusquely on my skin, it seemed to take a moment before my brain registered the scalding temperature. I held my head back and shuddered as it poured over my face and through my hair.

There was movement in the shadows again. I held my breath, the feel of Jasper's coarse palms on my wet skin was too fresh. My fingers wrapped around the knob in the shower wall and I cranked it as far into the red as it would go.

There are some things the mind just can't handle...

An hour later I was dressed in a snug pair of black yoga pants, socks and an olive green t-shirt. I'd forgotten how it felt to even have undergarments on.

Bella sat across the table from me. She would smile when I looked at her but anyone could read Bella like a book, the panic she was trying so desperately to hide was horribly obvious. Occasionally she would wipe at her eyes and laugh haphazardly as if she didn't understand why she was crying.

Rosalie had left the room and was standing in the foyer in an attempt to keep from yelling at me. Part of me remembered that she wasn't heartless she simply struggled with seeing weakness. She was angry with me because she loved me. The rest of me just didn't care at all.

"She's lost weight, and in such a short amount of time – it's almost inhuman." Edward snarled quietly to Emmett somewhere behind me, thinking that I would be unable to hear their conversation.

Why were there so many people in my apartment? Why weren't they leaving?

I had eaten the cheese and peppers omelet Bella had made me, I'd even eaten two pieces of toast and drank an entire cup of coffee. None of this had remained in my stomach for more than ten minutes of course. Certainly it was the effort that counted though.

I wanted to be alone, I wanted to go back to my bed and wait. Jackson couldn't see me like this, he was safer with everyone else. He was safer away from me. I swallowed thickly, I never thought that it would come to this.

"I just need some time." I said to Bella, even in this state I was sure that I could persuade her. Bella is incredibly intuitive but with the right sway one could sweep her off on a whisk of false hope. She more than anyone here could understand my predicament, I didn't think it would take much to send her off.

Bella hesitated before she nodded and brushed her long hair back behind her ears. "It's been nearly a week," Bella whispered mostly to herself. Her big, brown eyes flickered away from me and over my shoulder. "You have to at least see Jackson."

I exhaled shakily. Couldn't they see? Couldn't they see that I was barely managing to hold on already? I couldn't face Jackson yet, I couldn't imagine looking into those enormous emerald eyes and explain myself. You have to convince them, I thought, 'fake it till you make it' as Elise would say. I didn't have the strength to put up another facade! Jasper had left me more crippled than Tristan and unlike the latter I did not fear that he would return, but that he wouldn't.

Merely the thought made my stomach heave and I lurched up from my chair to stagger off to the bathroom for the fifth time today.

As I wiped my mouth and dared a peek in the mirror I realized that if Jackson saw me this way he might not even want to come near me ever again. Briefly I mused that that would be the smartest thing he could do. However as I heard Bella's soft knuckles snap timidly on the bathroom door I decided that I would have to scare _all_ of them, I would have to horrify them so that they would leave me.

My back cracked as I straightened and lifted my chin, pushing the black snarls of my hair away from my face. There were bags under my eyes that I had never seen before in my life. Angry purple, exhausted bags beneath and red rims around my bloodshot eyes. I hadn't been sleeping but I was not tired. Edward was right – my face appeared gaunt and as my hands roamed my body the understanding that I was skeletal beneath my clothes set in.

I was pale, not the glamorous porcelain-doll pale I had been, but rather an ailing, transparent white that sickened me. My hair had not lost its vivaciousness and disarrayed around my face in spirited knots. It was so much darker than I remembered and more wild than I had ever thought possible. I looked as though I was a newly admitted asylum patient. Good God Alice, I thought and turned my face from the mirror.

This would require my very best acting skills.

Bella was startled when I whipped open the bathroom door. "What'd you put in those omelets Bells? Are you trying to kill me or get me better?" My voice was a birdsong and never missed a beat. Bella's eyes widened as though they were about to burst before she gave me a toothy grin and threw her arms around me.

I grimaced as she promptly leapt back, hands over her mouth and eyes darkened with disgust. She had really felt me, she had felt my bones.

"It'll be alright." I promised and winked at her, "Nothing a few cheese burgers won't fix!"

Twirling on my toes I pranced to the kitchen and placed a hand on Emmett and Edward's shoulders. Emmett simply gawked, Edward on the other hand looked severely irate rather than in awe of my performance. He would make this difficult.

"Listen, Rosalie is right." I sucked in an audible breath and pretended my chest was not screaming in protest. "I _have_ to get out-" I peered around them to check the time "-I'll go get Jackson from school and pick up Pico from Mom and Dad's. I expect you all to have vacated when I get back, or I'll have the locks changed!" I even threw in a chirpy giggle at the end.

Edward frowned and began to object when Emmett elbowed him hard enough that he fell back a step. "Sure thing pipsqueak, give us a call when you're home though." Emmett was speaking to me but glowering blackly at Edward.

The darkness in my mind was thoroughly pleased as I pulled on my coat and leather Prada thigh-highs. My family would be gone, I could return to my bed and my waiting.

"You won't get off so easily." Rosalie snapped at me once I was out in the hallway, making my way to the elevator. "I see you Alice." She spat her words but I refused to listen, I refused to look into those eyes of hers, I refused to look too closely at the blonde of her hair.

Luckily I managed to slither into the elevator without having to respond. The thick doors closed with a metallic clink and I immediately lowered myself to the floor of the moving box. My breaths came in curt coughs comingled with dribbling tears.

At last the doors parted and I hardly had the power to lift myself up to my feet again. Drew was at the front desk, he waved and smiled at me...he must have heard.

I raced frantically to my car and slammed the door once I was safely inside. Soon the kicking and shrieking consumed me yet again until my fists throbbed from punching my steering wheel. I wept without restraint and roared and wrung my hands in the air. There was a wicked jolt from the shadow in the back of my mind and I jerked back against my seat.

"_Careful there!" For a moment I heard a thick Southern accent, felt the reassuring grasp of calloused farmer's hands on my sides. _

_My heart raced as I was hoisted easily onto my feet. I reeled the minute my balance returned and had to fight every fibre of my being to keep from lunging onto the person behind me._

_Disappointment and anguish overtook me quickly however once I realized this man was certainly not Jasper. _

_His hair was a messy auburn quaff_ _which shot out in every direction it pleased and hung over his eyes in longish strands. His eyes were a pale grey like smooth beach stones and were adorned with wonderfully long lashes. His features were youthful and energetic: a straight nose and a full-lipped quirky mouth that, even now, looked as though it laughed far too often. His jaw that was somehow both boyishly narrow and yet squared off with manhood. Silver studs and small hoops artistically decorated both of his ears from what I could see around the chaos of his hair. _

_He donned a thick university sweater and jeans, his sneakers were well soaked through from the rain and were splitting from overuse. _

"_You okay?" He asked me in a sincere, breathtaking voice. It was sensuously raspy and dry in all the right ways and just deep enough to show his maturity. A 'phone sex' voice is what Rosalie would probably call it. _

_I nodded and apologized quickly, brushing myself off. "Thank you." I murmured. He still had a hand on my shoulder as though he expected I would slip again._

_His lips parted to speak before another childlike, feminine voice interrupted. "Mason!"_

I blinked and struggled to catch my breath. I was seated in my sleek yellow Porsche, hands clutching the wheel so tightly my knuckles had gone white. There was the quiet drumming of raindrops on the roof of my car. What had just happened? I hadn't gone anywhere at all and yet...

Baffled I started the engine and pulled out of my parking spot before departing for Jackson's school.

I was in no way, shape or form capable of caring for a child at this point. What had happened back there outside my apartment building? Who was that guy? My head was spinning, it was all so vivid – more so than a dream. I had felt his hands lifting me, smelt the rain on the air. That was no daydream. Swallowing thickly I wiped my hand down my face and tried to focus on driving.

My stomach was still tight from heaving, my body was weary and sore as it had been for days only now I had acquired a new headache that was broaching the boundaries of a migraine.

I had been indoors for so long it hurt to breathe the fresh air and the dreary grey overcast stung my brittle eyes. I was far too thankful when I arrived at the familiar parking lot of Jackson's school.

It took me a moment to gather the courage to get out of the car and face him. I had not seen him since the evening Jasper had...I whimpered to myself – no! _Concentrate_, Alice!

"Mommy!" Came an all too familiar screech, Jackson came bounding full tilt towards me from the school doors. He looked almost half as bad as I did and yet he could speak, he could smile and laugh. But I was afraid that he would run right through me while I was this thin.

Jackson collided with me without a second thought and I nearly collapsed. He hugged me so tightly I thought I would shatter. Tears rose to his eyes. "I missed you, I missed you, I missed you _so much_!" He howled and dug his fingers into my flesh through my jacket.

I couldn't help but smile. "I missed you too." I answered honestly, gazing upon him now was like the first time I had ever laid my eyes on him. He was so fragile, so perfect. I had to protect him from myself, from what I had become.

"Come Jackie, we'll go get Pico from Grandpa's." I heard the wobbling of my words, stricken with jovial tears. He bolted for the Porsche and I followed slowly behind.

The heel of my boot caught a crack in the cement and I was astonished to realize that I was falling. Never in my life have I ever been even remotely clumsy.

"Careful there!" For a moment I heard a thick Southern accent, felt the reassuring grasp of calloused farmer's hands on my sides.

My heart raced as I was hoisted easily onto my feet. I reeled the minute my balance returned and had to fight every fibre of my being to keep from lunging onto the person behind me.

Disappointment and anguish overtook me quickly however once I realized this man was certainly not Jasper.

His hair was a messy auburn quaff which shot out in every direction it pleased and hung over his eyes in longish strands. His eyes were a pale grey like smooth beach stones and were adorned with wonderfully long lashes. His features were youthful and energetic: a straight nose and a full-lipped quirky mouth that, even now, looked as though it laughed far too often. His jaw that was somehow both boyishly narrow and yet squared off with manhood. Silver studs and small hoops artistically decorated both of his ears from what I could see around the chaos of his hair.

He donned a thick university sweater and jeans, his sneakers were well soaked through from the rain and were splitting from overuse.

"You okay?" He asked me in a sincere, breathtaking voice. It was sensuously raspy and dry in all the right ways and just deep enough to show his maturity. A 'phone sex' voice is what Rosalie would probably call it.

I nodded and apologized quickly, brushing myself off. "Thank you." I murmured. He still had a hand on my shoulder as though he expected I would slip again.

His lips parted to speak before another childlike, feminine voice interrupted. "Mason!"

We turned and Valeria came swaggering towards us, her red hair glowing around her freckled face. She reached out her hand and he gladly accepted it in his own. "I'll see you around." He said to me, his grey eyes lingering on mine much longer than they should have.

I watched as the two headed toward the stream of cars in utter shock. He...I had...I had seen him...it was _him_!

But how?

* * *

Teehee, see what I did there? ;) Alice had visions even when she was human, that's why her family had her locked up ;) I'm so clever lol please let me know what you guys think, I hope that this makes up for my lack of ever writing, I'M SORRY!

R&R

~Selene


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